by Penny Wylder
Diana is gone. We’re all still moving way too fast, but in a moment, I know what happened. My unexpected movement tilted the canoe to the right, and that along with the water, was enough to knock her into the river.
Fuck.
My heart pounds in my ears. I have to get her out. The river is dangerous like this. She could get injured, and it will be entirely my fault.
I paddle like a man possessed, getting control of the canoe and past the rocks that caused the accident. I don’t see her. She’s nowhere.
The only good thing in this situation is that the rapids are brutal, but they’re short. In seconds, we’ll be through. But Diana might not have seconds.
I turn back to the other canoes. “Paddle straight and do not stop. Get out when it’s calm.”
Looking back at the water, I don’t wait to hear an acknowledgement or anything else. Give me a sign. Please.
I see her life jacket caught on a huge trunk trapped in the water, changing the natural direction of the rapids. Shit. Without that she’s even more vulnerable to the current. Where the fuck is she?
There. Across the river there’s a hand reaching out of the water, and it’s gone as fast as I saw it, sucked down into the furious current. How much air did she have left? Did she manage to take a full breath as she was falling? Was she conscious?
I survey the swirling water a fraction of a second longer before standing and jumping in one movement. Icy cold slams into me, nearly knocking my breath away. Shit. This kind of cold doesn’t even let you think. But I don’t have to think, I just have to swim. Because if I don’t, then it could be too late.
3
Diana
One second I’m in the boat and the next I’m trapped in a storm of ice. At least that’s how it feels. How did I get here? That’s the only thought that I have, but I know that’s not the thought I need to be having. The water is pulling me so fast that I’m dizzy and I’m honestly not sure which way is up.
The life jacket is pulling on me so hard that I’m choking. It hurts. Whatever I’m stuck on is keeping me down. Have to get it off. Have to get it off. The second I touch the clasps, I’m ripped away down into the water, and I’m not better off. I still don’t know where the surface is.
My leg hits something and fiery pain rips up my leg, but it gives me a direction. I think. I fight against the current, swimming in the direction I think is upward. The water of the river is so frothy and churning so violently that it’s murky. Having my eyes open barely helps.
There. My hand breaks the surface of the water for a second before a brand new current grabs me and yanks me back down. I’m running out of breath. Fast. What do I do? Adrenaline surges through me and I kick harder. Faster. It doesn’t seem to matter.
The current whips me down stream through what feels like a new set of rapids, and I slam into a rock so hard that I see white. And then black.
Fire races through my lungs and I’m choking. There’s warmth on my lips and I cough. Retch. Every nerve in my body burns as I’m hauling in air. I’m shaking and everything hurts. What the fuck happened?
Breathing doesn’t get any easier, but I can breathe. I’m not in the river anymore.
I open my eyes to blue. Blue eyes. Leo is on top of me, his face so close that I can feel his breath. His skin is wet, and his chest is heaving like he’s run a marathon. Now that I’m coming back to myself, I feel his weight on me, knees on either side of my hips.
There was warmth on my mouth when I woke. He gave me mouth to mouth. Did I stop breathing? How? When? Did my heart stop?
My mind is in a daze.
Leo kissed me.
I know that it’s not because of anything but saving my life, but my brain keeps snagging on the fact that he kissed me. And he’s looking at me now with something dark and unreadable in his eyes. He looks like he wants to kiss me again.
More than that, I’m aware of the way that he’s on top of me. Intimate and perfect. He’s so big that it feels like he’s everywhere. My lungs still feel weak, and I’m gasping for breath. Not entirely because I just died and came back, but because of him.
My voice is raspy. “Did I stop breathing?”
Leo searches my face for a moment and slowly smooths his hand over my hair. Down until his hand rests against my cheek. “Yeah.” His voice is rough too. “You did.”
I died.
The realization hits me like a truck. Holy fuck. I died. And he brought me back.
“Diana!” The voice shrieks from close by. It’s Emily, and the spell is broken. Leo eases his body off of mine, and I’m swarmed by my hysterical friends. They’re all talking so fast that I can’t fully process their words.
“Are you okay?”
“Holy shit. When you didn’t come back up, I was so freaked out.”
“Please tell us that you’re fine.”
Emily is crying, and they’re all looking at me expectantly. “I…think so,” I say. “I’m not sure.” I still feel fuzzy. But behind my friends, Leo is standing there, and I can’t stop staring at him. My savior. He dove in after me even though that river was crazy. And the way he’s looking at me…
It makes me shiver more than being soaking wet from the river.
“Oh my God,” Emily says. “Let’s call that a day, huh?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah.”
Leo looks at Emily. “You guys have a phone in your dry bags? I have no idea where my canoe went.”
“We got it,” Emily says. “Once the water calmed down, it wasn’t hard to grab it. It’s over there.” She points through the trees they came through.
“Thanks.” With a final look at me, Leo turns away. But he does it slowly, like he doesn’t want to take his eyes off me. But he does, and he’s quickly back with his phone, speaking urgently. “Okay, they’re coming to pick us up because I don’t want Diana to walk the miles back to the cars. Rafting is off the table until the river is calmer. I apologize. I went down the river last week and it wasn’t nearly as fast. I should have checked before taking you down it.”
Emily smiles at him. “You got us all out in one piece. That’s what matters.”
At some point they help me into a sitting position. I don’t remember them doing it. The girls go to get our stuff from the canoes, and Leo stays with me. Then there are more people carrying the canoes to a set of SUVs.
“Diana,” Leo says softly. “We need to get you into one of the cars, okay?”
“Okay.”
His arm comes around my shoulders and he helps me stand. My legs are shaky, and I don’t know if they’re going to hold me. But they do. Partly. Halfway to the car my knees buckle, and Leo doesn’t even hesitate, catching me and swinging me up into his arms like he was expecting it.
Warmth floods me. Leo is a furnace surrounding my body, and I have the urge to just close my eyes and rest there. He holds me like it’s nothing. “Why am I so tired?”
When he speaks, I can feel the vibration of his voice. “Dying and coming back will do that to a person.”
“I guess so.”
He sets me gently in the front seat of a truck, and I miss the feeling of him cradling me. It was nice. And warm. I’m cold now. And wet. God, that river was so cold that I don’t think that I’ll ever forget it.
I feel like I’m drifting as the cars drive us back to the lodge. Sleep. I want to go to sleep. That’s all that I want at this moment, just warmth and sleep.
The truck stops and jerks me awake. I fumble with the handle and manage to get the door open, but Leo is already there, pressing me back into the seat. “Hold on a second, hot shot. I need to take you to the hospital.”
I shake my head, but that makes it feel fuzzy and achy, so I stop. “No, you don’t. I’m fine.”
His low chuckle is warm. “Even if you were completely fine, this happened on Blue Mountain’s watch, and we need to get you checked out, okay?”
Leaning my head against the seat, I sag. “Okay.”
“We’ll come with you,�
�� Emily says. “Of course.”
“No,” I say. “Don’t do that. It’s still bachelorette weekend. Doesn’t need to stop to have you guys sitting in the emergency room for hours. I’ll be back soon enough.”
Emily looks at me with concern in her gaze, but she doesn’t fight me. If I hadn’t just almost died, she’d probably already be pushing her way into the truck beside me.
“Can you get some dry clothes for her?” Leo asks softly. “I don’t want her to move much until we can get her checked out, but she can change at the hospital.”
“Good idea,” Emily says and jogs off toward our cabin.
Leo turns to me. “How do you feel?”
“Sleepy.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. But I need you to stay awake, okay? Until we can get you checked out and we know it’s safe for you to sleep.”
I nod slowly. “Yeah.” We’re quiet for a second. “Are you sure you need to take me? Emily would do it. I don’t want to interrupt your day.”
Leo’s eyebrows rise into his hairline. “Diana, it was my fault that you were in the river at all. You’re not ruining my night. And even if you were, it’s my job to take you.” His hand reaches out like he’s going to touch me and then he changes his mind. Softer, he says, “I want to make sure that you’re okay.”
“Here you go!” Em’s voice calls. She has a bag filled with clothes. What look like the yoga pants I brought and a couple other things. Comfortable clothes. I could kiss her. “Come back soon, okay?” she whispers, gently hugging me. “I can’t have my bachelorette weekend without my maid of honor.”
“Back in no time,” I say. “They’re just going to poke me for a while and then send me home.”
“And scan your brain, probably,” Em says. “If they find anything weird in there, make sure to take pictures.”
I laugh. “I’ll try to remember.”
She hugs me again and then steps back.
“Told you it was a bad idea for me to get in a boat.”
“I swear, I’ll never make you do it again,” she says.
Leo takes her place in front of me. “It’s a longer drive, let’s get you buckled in.”
“I can do it,” I say, reaching for the belt, but he stops me. His hands are warm on mine, and my stomach drops when he looks at me.
“Let me,” he says. “Please.”
I don’t pretend to understand why it matters, but I let him secure the belt and check to make sure that it’s buckled. And then he’s climbing into the driver’s seat. “Ready?”
“Yeah.”
The rumble of the engine seems to vibrate inside my skull as we drive away.
4
Leo
She could have died.
Those are the only words in my brain. She could have died. She could have died. She could have died.
And if she had died, it would have been my fault.
I jumped into the water after her, swimming toward where I saw her hand reach out of the water. The only other glimpse of her I had was a bright yellow patch of fabric that shone under the water. And barely that, because the river was battering me just as much as it was her. The only advantage I had was that I chose to go in.
It was a miracle that I managed to keep my head above the water.
I caught a glimpse of her as she was slammed against the rock, and I saw her pulled deeper. I’ve never swum so hard. Ever. Every muscle in my body burned, to the point where I thought that they might give out, but I reached her. And she was limp. All the relief that I’d felt in grabbing her body disappeared because I knew that something was wrong.
She wasn’t breathing.
I’ve never felt that kind of panic in my life, and I don’t ever want to feel that again.
My hands tighten on the steering wheel and my jaw creaks with the force of how hard I’m gritting my teeth. It would be devastating if anyone died on my watch. But her? There’s something about Diana that makes the potential agony twice that. Something deep that brings out a reaction that’s fierce and feral and protective.
I’m glad she didn’t fight me, because like hell was I going to let anyone else take her to the hospital. Despite the fact that that’s what she needs to be okay, that’s not actually what I want to do. I want to pull over to the side of the road and haul her into my arms and make sure for myself that she’s okay.
I can’t do that. And I shouldn’t want to. But fuck, I do.
The other thing I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about is the way her lips felt under mine and her body too, once she was breathing again. But now that I’ve felt her body underneath mine, I can’t possibly ignore it. I want her.
“Diana?”
“Yeah,” she says softly.
“Just making sure you’re still awake.”
A sound of annoyance from her. “Sadly.”
“You can sleep as long as you want once the doctor clears you. Hell, I’ll give you my bed if you want. Down pillows. Whatever you need.”
Slowly Diana shifts in her seat so that she’s facing my direction. “Leo, you literally saved my life. You don’t have to do anything else.”
“I may have saved your life, but it was my fault you went in the water. It was my fault that we were out there at all without checking the river flow.”
“You were saving them.”
I sigh. “Still.”
We pull into the hospital parking lot, and I follow the signs for the emergency room. This hospital has valet parking for their ER. Fuck yes. I don’t want to have to wait.
I’m out of the car and handing the keys to the attendant without a second thought. Diana has the door open by the time I round the hood of the truck, but I stop her. “Let me.” The same words I’d used on her earlier.
“I can walk.”
Lifting her into my arms, I push the door shut with my foot. “You’re exhausted and you might have a concussion.”
Diana just sighs softly, but she leans her head against my shoulder and closes her eyes. I’m not sure if she realizes that she’s cuddled into me, but I don’t mind it. Hell, I want more of it. I meant what I said about giving her my bed if she wants it.
It makes sense for me to carry her, but I would be lying if it wasn’t also an excuse to hold her and keep her close. Never in my life have I felt this kind of instinct, and I am nowhere close to having it under control. Besides, she did still seem a bit out of it.
I’m careening fast toward not giving a shit that she’s a guest at the lodge. And I know full well that it started long before she went in the water. As soon as she walked in with her friends yesterday, I noticed her. My first glance was at her hand to make sure she wasn’t married, and her friends teasing her made it clear that she was single.
Thank fuck.
I check her in, and the nurse takes us back immediately. The words ‘she stopped breathing, and I gave her mouth-to-mouth’ let you skip the line.
Within minutes, I’m laying her in a hospital bed while the nurse wraps a curtain around us and starts to take her vitals. Diana is still awake, and she’s looking at me. I can’t quite decipher the look on her face.
My phone rings in my pocket, and I glance at the screen. It’s Asher. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
She’s still staring at me, and I may be imagining the flash of fear that passes over her face. “Okay.”
I’ll make this short. Stepping around the curtain, I answer. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Asher says. “You at the hospital?”
“Yeah, they took us straight back.”
“Good. You have everything you need for insurance?”
I wrack my brain to remember what I need. “I think so. If not, I’ll give you a call.”
He sighs. “Great. When you come back, you, Hudson, and I need to go over some stuff in the office. But take your time, make sure the guest is okay.”
As if there was a chance in hell that I would do anything else. “Of course. I’ll let you know when I’m back.”
&nb
sp; We hang up, and I step back into the curtain only seconds before a doctor follows me in. This has to be the fastest emergency room visit ever. But good on them for taking this seriously. Diana changed into the dry clothes while I was gone. Good.
“I heard you stopped breathing?” the doctor says. His tone is jovial, but his eyes are sharp and focused. Trying to keep it light for her sake.
“Apparently,” Diana says. “I don’t exactly remember. I was unconscious at the time.”
I laugh in spite of myself, and so does the doctor. Then he looks at me. “You revived her?”
“Yeah.” I give him a brief rundown of what happened and what I witnessed of Diana in the water. While I’m talking, he’s doing some basic checks like her lungs and shining a light in her eyes. Diana winces when he feels the bump on her scalp, and he examines her limbs and ribs.
“How do you feel?” the doctor asks Diana.
“Mostly just tired. I always thought dying would be more painful.”
He chuckles. “Well, you definitely have a concussion, but your pupils are normal and responsive and you’re holding a conversation just fine. I think you got lucky.”
“If luck’s name is Leo, then yeah. Sure.” Her eyes flick to mine.
The doctor smiles at me before looking back at Diana. “I wish I could do more, but you’re in good shape. General painkillers should be fine for the bruising and maybe a headache. Lots of rest until you feel back to normal. If anything seems strange or you notice any cognitive effects, come back right away.”
“Okay,” she says softly.
He smiles. “Glad it was this kind of visit. Rest well and I’ll get a nurse over here to start the discharge.”
I blow out a breath as he disappears behind the curtain. “Fastest emergency room visit ever.”
“I’m glad,” she says.
“Me too.”
Now that the doctor’s come and went, she seems more alert. Like she woke up once I left to take that call. She doesn’t stop stealing glances at me even when she thinks that I’m not looking, and every time she does, her cheeks tinge pink with a blush. If she’s thinking about me in a way that makes her blush, I’ll take it. Hopefully the thoughts are good ones.
