by Penny Wylder
I meant the pressure of this situation and the fact that even though I’m loving every second with Di, the water temperature is rising higher, and I’m being squeezed like a vise on all sides.
She hasn’t heard what I need to tell her, which is that I’ve already decided that I don’t want to be free of her. Ever. Fuck the conventional ideas of how long it takes people to fall in love, I’m already there. I love Diana, and I want to marry her. Even if it’s not right now.
But if she said yes, I would take her to the courthouse tomorrow. That’s how sure I am. I was planning on telling her tonight—that not only did I want the relationship to be real, but that the ring was real.
I couldn’t explain the impulse that made me go into the jewelry store and buy the ring. It was one of the first ones that I saw, and I could afford it on my own. My parents had no part of that. I felt the rightness of that ring the way that I’d felt the bone-deep attraction to Di on that first day. So I bought it and let her think it was cheap and something to throw away. But it’s real.
Everything about us is real.
My mom shoves open the door to the cabin and calls my father. She tosses her bag onto the couch and turns to me, face full of fire. My dad has no idea what’s coming.
“Is it true?” she asks me, and her voice is deceptively calm and even. That’s when my mother is her most lethal. Right now I deserve it.
I blow out a breath. “Yes, it’s a lie.”
“What’s a lie?” my father asks.
“Diana isn’t my fiancée,” I tell him. “She agreed to pretend so I could save the business. I was desperate, and she thought she owed me something because I saved her life. But it was all pretend.”
He shakes his head. “Why would you do that?”
“Because,” the anger that’s built up over years and this week explodes again, and I pace back and forth as I speak. “I’m tired of you questioning what I’m doing with my life just because it’s something that you wouldn’t have chosen. I didn’t want to take your money, but I didn’t have a choice, and now that I have it’s like it’s wrapped around me and I can’t escape it.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for your willingness to help. But I don’t want to have to get married in order to have you choose to support me. I want to get married. I’ve always wanted that, but you two have a great marriage, and that takes time. I’m not ready. Or I wasn’t ready. What kind of life could I give a wife right now with my whole day spent trying to run a business? The only reason we’re not slammed with people is that the river is too high.” I come to the end of a rant in a rush, and I feel like a balloon that’s deflated. All of that was waiting to come out of me, and once the hole was poked there was no stopping it.
My father sits on the couch heavily. “That’s a lot of information.”
“We thought that this business wasn’t serious, Leo,” my mother says gently. “It seemed like some sort of youthful frenzy, and not a long-term plan.”
“No.” I shake my head. “This place is everything to me. I love what I do. And that’s why I was so desperate to save it. Say whatever it took to make that happen. I regretted the lie as soon as I said it, and I’m sorry.”
There’s no more anger in my mother’s eyes when she speaks. “And do you regret Diana?”
Emotion hits me in the chest. “No.” My voice is thick with it, and I’m shaking with the remnants of adrenaline and the need to run. “It was supposed to be fake, but…it’s not. At least to me.” I laugh. “You got what you wanted. I want to marry her. But I think I fucked that up.”
Mom hugs me. “Go get her. We’ll be fine. Now that we understand.”
“That’s it?” I look at my father. “That’s all it takes to change your mind?”
He laughs. “No. We’ve seen how you care about this place, Leo. I apologize for thinking that I was pouring money into a half-baked idea that you were trying to execute. You’ve done an incredible job, and I’m happy to help you keep it. As for Diana, and marriage in general, you’re right. It’s not our place to force you. But if you love her, go get her.”
I don’t wait for any more words, sprinting out the door at full speed. I don’t stop, and my stomach drops when I see that her car is gone. But I still let myself hope that she’s not gone. Maybe she moved it. Maybe.
“Diana?” I call as I burst through the door. “Diana.”
She’s gone. There’s no need to check every room in the house, I can feel the emptiness. On the counter, the ring sits. So much larger than its small size, it’s the only thing in the fucking room. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut and double over as if I have, my chest tight like there are fists squeezing my lungs. She’s gone.
There’s a knock on my open front door, and my mom is standing there. She followed me.
“It’s too late,” I say. “She’s gone.”
“So go to her. I’ve seen the way that she looks at you, and when we spoke at lunch, she told me some things. She loves you.”
“When I said I wanted to be free of everyone, I didn’t mean her.”
“I know,” she says, smiling. “Your father apologized, but I need to. I’m sorry for causing you this kind of pain. I’m not sorry that you found her. Go make it right.”
Determination hardens in my gut. I don’t know where Diana lives—there’s so much about each other that we don’t know. I don’t care. This is too right.
I may not know where she lives, but I know how to find out.
15
Diana
I’m face down in a pint of ice cream. The girls are on their way over to console me with wine and have a massive bitch session. It’s going to be a long one given that they didn’t know about Leo in the first place, and in the span of a week I’ve fallen in love and gotten my heart broken.
After they finish listening to me and letting me cry on their shoulders, they’re going to give me hell for not telling them. Especially since it’s Leo, and they were trying to set me up.
My eyes are already swollen from crying the whole drive home, and there are more tears coming. But for right now, I feel dry. Empty. Nothing but a shell.
I’ll never forget that look on his face. The horror of seeing me there after he declared that he didn’t want me.
The doorbell rings. That was fast, but Emily dropped everything, and I have no doubt that she broke a lot of traffic laws to get here as quickly as possible.
I put the ice cream on the coffee table and get out from under the giant blanket that I have wrapped around me. It will be good to see Em. She’s always helped me talk about things, and she gives good advice.
But when I open the door, my best friend isn’t standing there. It’s Leo. He’s leaning both hands on the doorframe, eyes intense. Fuck, he’s still so beautiful, and I hate how good it is to see him even though it’s only been a few hours.
Leo is staring at me like I’m the only person left in the world. The force of his gaze is a weight. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to fix it. All I’m asking is for five minutes, and if you’re not satisfied after that, you can kick me out and never see me again.”
I shouldn’t let him in. But then again, I don’t exactly have a good track record with things like that this week. Stepping aside, I let him through. He brushes past me, and my whole body lights up at the proximity.
Traitor, I think at her.
“How do you know where I live?”
He turns back to me once we’re in the living room. “I called Emily from her Blue Mountain reservation, and I told her everything. After that, she spilled the beans.”
Leo’s gaze falls on the carton of ice cream and the blanket. And there’s no way that he doesn’t know that I’ve been crying. Good. I want him to know.
He paces back and forth in the room. I’ve never seen him with this kind of energy. It’s frenetic. “When you walked into the lodge, I was…beyond thinking. I was frustrated that my friends’ trust in me had been damaged
, and that I was being forced into something just to make it work. But when I said I wanted to be free of everything, I didn’t mean you.”
“Then you have a pretty loose definition of the word ‘everyone.’”
“I meant the situation. The pressure.” He comes to a stop across from me. “I want you, Diana. No matter the circumstances. I may hate what my parents did to force this, but it couldn’t have turned out any better because I want you.”
New tears prick my eyes, and I turn away to hide them. That’s exactly what I wanted him to say. He keeps talking. “I don’t just mean now. I want you always. In my life, in my bed, eventually I want my ring on your finger for real.”
His hands are on my shoulders, turning me back to him. We’re almost kissing, but not quite. Leo’s forehead is against mine, arms wrapped around me. And God, this is where I want to be. Despite the pain and the fear. My soul recognizes him and loves it.
“You fit into my life, Di. I didn’t think it was possible, but it is. Please don’t leave. We’ll figure out where to live. We’ll figure out my job and yours. There’s nothing that we can’t work out. Just—Please.” Then, softer, “I love you.”
I’m really crying now, hot tears spilling over. He pulls me against his chest, and I let myself go. It’s strange for him to hold me while I’m crying about him, but he does. I have things to say, but I can’t speak yet. The terror and hurt are being purged. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.
Finally, the emotion subsides enough for me to breathe. “I don’t want to walk away. I didn’t want to leave. I love you, too. And I’ll be your fiancée any day.”
Leo’s mouth crashes down on mine. All-consuming passion burning us both. We’re tearing at each other’s clothes because we can’t be naked fast enough. He lifts me into his arms and I freeze. “My friends are on their way,” I say. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not be caught having sex a second time.”
He laughs. “I told Emily to call them. I figured that if you kicked me out you’d call them back, and if you didn’t…” The look on his face tells me all I need to know. “We won’t be disturbed.”
That’s good enough for me. I point down the hallway. “The bedroom is that way.”
Leo nearly breaks into a run.
Epilogue
Diana
Six Months Later
I walk toward the river at the exact time that Leo told me to. He’s been secretive all week but finally clued me in that he was planning something by giving me a time and a location.
I have to weave through the construction for the new cabins to get there. The structures are nearly framed out, and they’ll be ready for occupancy by spring. Leo’s family is fully funding his portion of Blue Mountain, and his parents are now regular guests.
It’s brisk in the late fall, but still gorgeous out. The sun set about an hour ago, so there’s a chill in the air. But as I walk up to the place he told me to meet him, I don’t think I’ll be cold at all.
My mouth nearly falls open. Not only has Leo set up a fire on the bank of the river, but there are candles melted to the stones in a big circle so the whole area is lit up. There’s a blanket and a picnic basket full of food, and then there’s Leo. He’s standing by the fire, grinning at me.
“Is this what’s been making you sneaky all week?”
“I wasn’t sneaky.”
I step through the circle of candles. “You most certainly were. It’s not like I can’t see you sneaking around.”
After we got back together, or, as Leo calls it, ‘The Day We Fixed It,’ I moved into the cabin with him. My work can be done from anywhere, and I didn’t have any particular attachment to my house. But his cabin was a little small for two people living there full time, so we are in the middle of expanding. Soon I will have an office that looks over the river, and I can’t wait.
“Fine,” he says. “I was sneaking. And yes, this was it.”
I step into his arms and he leans down to kiss me. “Not that I don’t love this, because it’s beautiful, but it’s a bit of a weird place to have dinner,” I tell him.
“I don’t think so. I think it’s the perfect place.”
“Why?”
Leo smiles. “Six months ago today, right here, I pulled you out of the river. And that’s a day that changed both of our lives.”
“True.” He’d managed to get me into the river a couple more times over the summer, but I stick to the calm waters now.
“So I figured, since this place changed our lives then, it can change our lives again.” He pulls away and sinks down on one knee, taking my stomach with him.
“Leo—”
“The last time I did this, we both thought it wasn’t real, and it turned out differently. This time, I don’t want you to have any doubts. This is real. I want you forever. Will you marry me?”
The ring in his hand is the same ring. I’d recognize it anywhere. I can’t believe it. “You kept the ring?”
“The ring is real too,” he says. “It was always real.”
“Oh my God.” I thought that he’d bought the ring at a dollar store, even though it was far more beautiful than any other cheap ring I’d seen.
“You haven’t answered my question.”
“Yes, of course I’ll marry you,” I say, holding out my hand for the ring. He slips it on, and my heart settles. Even though I only wore it for a few days, I’ve missed it. I love having it on my hand, like he’s with me even when he’s not.
I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him, sinking down onto the blankets and pulling him with me. He laughs. “What about dinner?”
“You didn’t think you could propose without me fucking my fiancé, did you?” I pull his face to mine and kiss him hard.
These last six months have been a glorious mess of love and sex as we merged our lives together. Our chemistry hasn’t disappeared. I bite his lip, nipping at him in the way I know makes him go crazy. Brings out his animal side, and he makes a low sound in his throat.
“I didn’t bring condoms with me.”
He’s looking down at me, and I return his stare. “I don’t care.”
Leo’s eyebrows raise. “You’re ready for that?”
I smirk. “Maybe the place we almost died will help us create new life.”
He yanks his shirt over his head and tosses it aside. “I like calling you my fiancée,” he says as he runs his hands down the front of my shirt, slowly undoing some of the buttons one by one. “But I’m going to like calling you my wife even more.”
I shudder. “I like that too.”
Leo hooks his fingers in my jeans and strips them from my legs. The lacy thong I wore just in case, doesn’t go so quickly. Lacy, delicate things are his favorite. Specifically, he likes ripping them off me before he fucks me senseless.
This time, he doesn’t rip them. He pushes my legs apart and licks them, teasing me through the lace. “Fuck, Leo.”
“You didn’t think I could propose to you without tasting my favorite thing, did you?” he asks, reflecting my words back at me.
Blood rushes to my face. Even after six months, he still has the ability to make me blush. Which I do, every time he tells me how much he likes the way I taste.
Spreading the lace tight over my clit, Leo sucks me through it, using his tongue to create friction with the fabric. Fuck that’s good.
The air is colder as the night grows deeper, and the heat of the fire warms me along with Leo’s tongue. The contrast in temperature just makes everything sharper, and I’m starting to shake.
Leo has spent hours between my legs, declaring that he wants to memorize every inch of my pussy, and he has. He knows exactly what to do to have me gasping, and he knows how to torture me, keeping me on edge for as long as he decides.
Finally drawing my thong to the side, Leo slides his tongue deep. I reach down and shove my fingers into his hair, holding him there. He licks inside me, and I moan. I love the feeling of this. Every time.
> Tonight it feels even more intimate. This man is going to be my husband. Forever. The thought of it nearly makes me come right then, but I don’t want to. “I need you inside me,” I manage to say, and Leo pulls back, mouth shining with my wetness. Locking eyes, he licks me one more time before pulling my thong away from my skin with his teeth.
Once they're free, he inhales them, causing me to blush again. “You wore these for me?”
“Just in case you were planning something, I figured there was a chance for sex.”
Leo laughs, crawling up my body. “You say ‘a chance for sex’ as if you’re not having it regularly. If you’re not satisfied, I’m going to have to work harder.”
“I always want you hard.”
His mouth falls to my neck. “Fuck, I love you.”
“You’re about to love me more,” I whisper. “It’s a matching set.”
He sits up, straddling my hips, and rips open what’s left of my buttons. They go flying into the darkness and I couldn’t care less. The way he’s staring at the barely-there black lace. The cups are small and my breasts are spilling out of it—just the way he likes.
The light of the fire flickers over his chest, and I wish I could take a picture. I memorize the way shadows trace over his muscles and the way the fire makes his lust that much more intense.
Slowly, Leo unbuckles his belt. “My husband is so fucking hot,” I say. “And I don’t care that we’re not married yet.”
He shifts so he can get out of his jeans before coming back to me and sliding into me in one smooth motion. “I will take you to the courthouse tomorrow if you keep calling me that.”
“Husband.”
He groans, thrusting deeper, and I have to close my eyes. Leo has mastered my body, angling himself so he’s hitting that spot deep inside me that sets the world on fire. Now that he’s bare, it’s all brand new friction that yanks me to the edge.
