“It used to be!” Tiffany shouted and then clamped her mouth closed. “I used to come here every weekend. I did it for a long time but I always had the escape route to fall back on. It was a game then. And then, somehow, Lainy found the path to our world.”
“I saw him. At the rehearsal dinner.”
“I don’t even know where to start explaining how he did it. He got through the portal unassisted. He changed his form there and back here with some…” She paused, looking uncomfortable before wiggling her fingers. “Magic. It was so dangerous and he was stupid for risking himself. But, he took his only shot to win me back. That’s why I love him. He made me realize how much I loved him. He did win me and I can’t live without him. I want to be here. Forever. That’s why I set the deactivate on the device. It should have deleted all internal files and then power down. You shouldn’t have been able to activate anything.”
“I told you before that all I did was reach for the machine and it transported me here. Maybe that happened before the system fully deleted. I don’t know. I just know that I didn’t do this on purpose. You’re arrogant to think that my life’s purpose is to make yours difficult. I have my own goals and interests. I went to your apartment to make one last plea on Nick’s behalf, but when I saw you’d left, I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“I am safe, Mom.” This time there wasn’t the edge to her voice. “I am happier than I’ve ever been.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you,” Veronica said and smiled at her daughter.
“That’s it?”
“I would like to say it is, but unfortunately, there is another matter of concern for you.” She adjusted the sling and displayed the trembling mass within. “This world is not a game, Tiffany.”
“Kerkardo!” Tiffany cried and stepped forward. She pressed her knuckles to her mouth, eyes filling with tears. “I thought he was dead! I thought that centaur’s beast had killed him.”
“That wasn’t A’pone’s cheroush. That was mine.” She made sure to say his name. It felt strange using it after doing everything in her power not to think about him. You didn’t send anyone to look for Kerkado? Didn’t ask what happened?”
Tiffany shook her head back and forth, squeezing her eyes closed. “Oh god. I should have searched for him. You’re right. Kerkardo, beloved, I’m so sorry.”
But the cheroush didn’t lift his head from the depths of the sling. A forlorn, muffled creel was the only response.
Veronica wiped her eyes as she moved closer. “Here, you try to pick him up. Maybe if he feels your touch along with your voice it will get through. He’s been out since the fight. My Murial was out for a time, too, but I was there when he woke. I want you to swear to me that you won’t disregard him ever again. It’s my role as Te’acina to monitor the physical and emotional health of the tribe. You might not want to acknowledge me as your kin, but you are.”
The word Te’acina stilled Tiffany’s hands reaching in to touch Kerkardo. Her eyes were comically wide as she regarded Veronica and rocked back a fraction. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Veronica sighed softly and gave a shake of her head. “When should I have said something? When you were suggesting that I ruined your life here? Or when you refused to acknowledge that you’re my child? No, Tiffany, I think you’ve made your desire very clear. But, I’m not going back. Even if you had a magic gateway, I’m staying here.”
Tiffany actually laughed. “What? Without five-star room service? Without running water? No personal shoppers?”
“I know, it’s terrifying. I love it here. But I don’t think our paths will cross often. I respect your need your space. I’m sorry I’ve made such a mess of our relationship. Maybe in time we can try again.”
“But, you’re Te’acina. You should be the one to bless our child.”
It made Veronica’s maternal heart patter a little faster at the possibility of a grandchild but she refused to get netted by that possibility. “Congratulations, honey.” She couldn’t keep the emotion out of her voice despite her best effort. “I think we should take small steps to get there. Let’s focus on getting your cheroush healed first. Okay?”
Nodding, her daughter didn’t look nearly as confident or self assured. Veronica didn’t want to discourage her but hopefully they could both find some stable middle ground to start over again.
When her fingers brushed along the cheroush’s spine he jerked his head up with a low growl of warning in his throat. Once he saw who was reaching for him, he stretched toward her fingers. For the first time since waking, awareness lit his eyes.
“Yes, it’s me, Kerkardo. I thought you were dead. Why did you leave me?” Tiffany whispered, stroking over his head and the thick ruff of feathers and fur.
It was different watching the connection happen from the outside. This reunion was so much more poignant, though. The wounded cheroush transformed from a trembling shell to a vibrant, eager cheroush, trying to leap into Tiffany’s arms despite his wounded wing.
Veronica wiped tears from her eyes, ignoring the surprised glance her daughter flashed at her. She had not been the most emotionally transparent person before.
She felt less concerned about displaying her feelings since arriving here.
“I’ll let you take that little one inside. I didn’t want to distress him more by handling him when he was clearly struggling to process his situation. I’m at the lake shore if you want to bring him by.”
“Did you set your tent there?” Tiffany asked warily.
“No. No tent for me. I’m sleeping under the moonlight. Cowboy style.”
Her daughter stared, one corner of her mouth quirking slightly, waiting for the punchline. “Oh. You’re serious. Wow. I thought you and that centaur would have a tent together.”
“That centaur’s name is A’pone. I haven’t seen him since the day he led me here. He was only doing his duty to help me find you.” She tried to play it off as nothing but every word cut her tongue on the way out.
God, she missed him.
I miss him, too, Murial admitted sorrowfully.
“I see.” For a moment her daughter just stroked the cheroush clinging to her robe as if he might never let go. “Mom? I know we’re trying to find neutral ground to start over, but I want to give you some advice. As someone who almost turned her back on all of this—” She motioned with her hands to encompass the whole meadow and the tent with her mate inside. “Don’t let what you really want slip through your fingers.”
The tree contributed by filling her mind with images of their intimacy the morning beforeA’pone left her. Our life would be better with him in it.
“I’ll consider your suggestion,” she said quietly.”Thank you, Tiffany. I hope Kerkardo recovers well.”
7
Full Moon
With determination in her heart, Veronica set out to take control of her life.
First, she needed to track down A’pone. She’d make her plans from there. For the past few days she’d been avoiding the reality that she knew exactly how to find the centaur.
She only needed to go to his tribe camp and ask for him.
Despite being invited, Veronica had not been to any of the campsites. It hadn’t seemed right to go when she was monitoring her daughter’s cheroush and couldn’t leave his side. Now that the obligation was satisfied, she was free.
And the time for ignoring their situation was over.
The Truchi tribe was one of the most highly respected as their territory was huge, encompassing most of the surrounding forests. Technically, since the Blessed Tree was in the center of Truchi lands, Veronica was already part of the tribe.
But she was human, therefore not a recognized race.
It wouldn’t have been a problem if A’pone had kept his word.
I feel it. You are my life partner.
Instead he went and upended all her expectations.
She wondered if he still felt it, or if the sensat
ion had evaporated the moment she’d begged him to spare her daughter’s mate.
And he said Ov’Eartha-humans were complicated.
The truchi tents were set up in a U-shape with the entrances facing the direction of the lake. This created a large communal gathering spot around a central fire pit. There was an air of comfort and safety the moment she stepped into the cleared open area.
“Hello,” greeted a breathless young centaur. She jerked her hand away from the tent flap beside her with a shy smile. She wore nothing except an opal-studded, bronze necklace that tastefully covered the tops of her breasts and nipples. Her lower half was buttermilk buckskin colored, each leg slashed with zebra stripes from hooves to her equine shoulders and hocks. Her black hair and tail were braided and decorated with blue flowers that matched the color of her eyes. Her round cheeks were very pink, her lips likewise flushed and swollen as though she’d been biting them.
“Hello. Are you all right?”
She ducked her head and lifted a hand to her hair, adjusting one of the crushed flowers. “Oh yes. Thank you.”
She had no reason to question her answer, but she seemed agitated.
“Do you know if A’pone is in camp?”
The centaur’s eyes widened and she glanced back at the tent she’d just stepped from. “Oh.” Her complexion went from pink to red as she pressed her fingers to her swollen lips. The tips of her delicate ears were almost purple with her embarrassment.
“Are you sure you’re well?”
The girl nodded, shooting another glance at the tent. An expression of shame twisted her features.
Veronica had seen her daughter react that way once when she’d walked in on her having sex. The hairs at the back of her neck prickled and her stomach plunged.
I feel it. You are my life partner.
Had he, though? Really? Maybe that was just indigestion he’d been experiencing.
“Is he in there?” Her voice was surprisingly mild.
The poor young female couldn’t even blurt the words out.
“Listen, we’re all adults. If you’re fucking, good on you. He needed someone to take the pressure off him.”
The tree was far too quiet. A deadly stillness spread through her. A widow-maker.
The girl uttered an uncomfortable titter behind her fist.
The flap of the tent was pushed back and A’pone, in all his glory, stepped from the tent.
He didn’t look like a virgin who’d just had his cherry popped. He looked like someone who’d lost his best friend, his dog, and just found out he had terminal cancer.
“A’pone…” the cute centaur murmured and sucked her lower lip into her mouth. She looked so young and innocent. There was such a blatantly hopeful smile on her flushed face that Veronica forced herself to look away.
“I’m too old for this shit.”
“Veronica.”
That. One. Word.
Her name on his lips.
It undid her.
She couldn’t face him, though. Looking into his dark-ringed eyes would crush her. She held on to the tree’s silent, icy rage and let it burn to her bones.
“I wouldn’t have stopped by if I’d known you’d be busy.”
“Breka was just leaving.”
“But A’pone…” the girl protested in pleading tones.
“Do you want to do this again? Here? In public?”
“Please don’t,” Veronica whispered, closing her eyes.
“We were so good together,” Breka insisted.
A’pone continued as though neither of them had spoken, his voice dull. “I told you last season and I will tell you again. I am a guardian. Guardians are untouched, Breka. You are dear friends with my sister, which is why I am still addressing you and trying to counsel you.”
“B-but…”
Veronica glanced at the girl and then turned back to finally take in A’pone and the full weight of his grief and misery. His brows were drawn tightly over his eyes, shadowing their blue and green depths. Lines at the corners of his mouth suggested he’d been frowning and holding his lips tight recently.
“I want to spare you, Breka. Have you beheld the Elder Tree? Do you think there is mercy for someone who tries to touch a guardian without consent? Now, consider the wrath of the Te’acina when she discovers this unwanted attention.”
Breka’s cornflower blue eyes stretched wide as platters as she turned to Veronica. “Oh. Oh, no. Te’acina. I…”
“Breka doesn’t grasp that we are no longer children who can play such silly games of grasp and run. Two years ago my sisters planted the seeds of an idea into her head and she cannot let it go.” He spoke kindly but with a deep weariness. “I am bespoke, Breka.”
Veronica wasn’t sure if she should be even more furious that the silly chit was grabbing her A’pone or relieved that they weren’t in his tent shaking the walls. Before she could decide which emotion would win, A’pone took a step toward her.
And she was lost.
She had not shielded herself against his charms well enough.
He knifed around her armor and cut into the kinks where she was vulnerable.
“A’pone,” she whispered, savoring his name.
“I thought I was dreaming when I heard your voice.”
“I’ve had a lot of dreams like that recently.”
“I have been such a wretch. I can’t believe you want to be in the same space with me after my behavior.”
Somewhere between A’pone walking toward her and Veronica closing the distance, Breka had fled. It was just the two of them there in the clearing. They stood inches apart but it felt like the span of the meadow. The space was charged with their energy. Desire. Longing. Need. Sadness.
“I wasn’t sure if I’d find you here but I had to try.”
“I couldn’t leave you, even if I was too ashamed to face you.” He glanced in the direction of the lake as though he’d been doing that often. Watching her from afar?
Was that creepy? Why did it melt her heart? “I need to tell you something.”
He searched her eyes and then drew in a slow breath, bracing himself. “All right.” His forelimb stomped the earth in agitation, giving away the emotions behind the mask.
Frowning, she reached up and cupped his face. He didn’t pull away. In fact, he leaned in until his forehead pressed against hers. “I’m not leaving. I’m staying here. I don’t know that you want anything to do with me considering my daughter is mated to your nemesis. I’m still trying to process how I feel about you being angry that I stopped you from killing him.”
“I wasn’t angry with you.” His hands covered hers, strong and sure, squeezing her bare fingers. “I let my ugly, old lust for vengeance blind me. I thought I’d given up that emotion when I dedicated myself as guardian, but I was blindedsided at seeing him there. So close to you, I was…afraid you’d be hurt.” The words stuck in his throat.
“Will you tell me what happened? I can guess, but I think I should hear it from you.”
He remained quiet, his haunted eyes unfocused, and she wasn’t sure he would answer. “I was very young when it happened, just a brush-tail really. Our tribe had been in conflict with the Jahtauri since before my birth. We supported the Centauri tribes neighboring the Shalour tribe, who were burning the forests in several territories in an attempt to drive them back.”
She winced at the possibility of the forest burning.
He continued, explaining, “It was common practice in earlier times but particularly during that time when so many warriors were clawing and killing for power. Ruthless generals particularly liked the plan. Destroy the forest, remove your enemies and replant your own trees. Hope they grew fast and strong before another tribe could devastate the new grove. My grandfather sent warriors to aid our friends and defend their land. My brother was one of those warriors, he was eldest of us but only eighteen and unblooded. He had fallen in love with a maiden of that tribe. She had not accepted his suit because he was too young an
untried in battle. So off he went to war to gain his experience in hopes of sweeping the female away the next spring. He died before ever engaging in his first battle. His group was ambushed on the way there by a group of other young Shalour warriors with something to prove. They weren’t just cut down. They were tortured and then sent back to their families in pieces.” His voice was so very cold, low and crackling, like ice.
“Oh god. That’s horrible, A’pone.” She stroked his jaw, wanting to bring some warmth back to his skin.
“I found out who caused all that damage. Every day I trained. Every night I prayed, and when I was finally old enough I hunted them down and I killed them.” He explained it as she might have talked about cutting out a dress pattern. “Every one of them. Except K’lain,” he said with venom. “I saved him for last. He was the ringleader. He was the one who left the note pinned to Dh’lan’s stomach.” His body trembled as he spoke.
Tree whispered a soft sigh. Sympathy and sorrow to match her own.
He was so young to have so much death on his hands and so much grief. If she’d thought Tiffany had fallen for a broken man looking for redemption, was that true of her, too? She’d not seen A’pone as broken. He kept his wounds so tightly concealed.
He, too, let out a breath and leaned into her hands, eyes closed. “I was so driven by my lust for vengeance that I cared for nothing else until I finally crossed paths with K’lain. I could tell from his fighting that he didn’t want to harm me but I wouldn’t listen to his words. I don’t even remember what he said. I’d chased him so long and zealously. My sole purpose was his death. Fate had other ideas, or the goddess did. As when you and I met, the trees intervened on his behalf. I had a branch the size of your wrist driven into my shoulder.” His lips twitched as he twisted his torso, showing the spot on his equine half. There was a pink star-burst of scarring where the pearly white fur hadn’t fully grown back.
She ran her fingers over the spot as she listened to his story.
“So, I had a…spiritual awakening, Te’acina,” he said it like a confession. “My father said it was the sap of the tree that did it to me. Perhaps my weeks under the care of a very devout healer had something to do with it, too. By the time I was building back my strength my focus had shifted. I decided to dedicate myself as guardian.”
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