by Adams, S. C.
She nods. “Of course, Sir. I’ll get right on it.”
I call up Bernard next and ask him for Ally’s address. He’s picked her up and dropped her off a couple times by now, so he rattles it off with no problem. Good. I’ve never been to her apartment before, but there’s a first time for everything. I’m not going to let the girl slip through my fingers, not without an explanation at least.
I don’t even bother with a driver. I don’t want any middle men in the way right now. This is my problem, and I’m going to fix it. I take the wheel of my Rolls Royce, and plot a course for Brooklyn, my hands gripping the steering wheel in frustration. Ally better be ready because a fucking monster hurricane’s coming her way, and there ain’t nothing that’s going to stop her from being mine.
15
Ally
I get through the next two days at work, barely conscious. The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that the children need me. Their sweet smiles and tender hearts remind me that there is still good in the world while I spend my nights despondent, trying to dodge my roommate’s attempts to get me to talk about it.
I spend the weekend holed up in my apartment, under a blanket. I watch a marathon of sad movies, one after the other, crying along with the characters which is better than crying about my own situation. I pass out on the couch on Saturday night and wake up Sunday morning to watch more sad movies. It’s pathetic honestly. There’s The Notebook, a perennial favorite, as well as Bridget Jones’s Diary. Well, Bridget Jones has a happy ending, but it just makes me more sad because I know there will be no happy ending for me.
I buy myself three cartons of chocolate ice cream and make my way steadily through them, doing whatever I can to soothe my pain. I need more than ice cream. I need him. I need Rob’s strong hands, the wide shoulders and the broad chest to lean on. But he’s not here, and I’ve been ignoring him because what would we say to one another? Words can’t encapsulate how utterly wretched I feel. As a result, the sugar is all I’ve got. The velvety softness of the chocolate sweetness melts in my mouth, but I don’t feel better at all.
My phone rings again, and I pick it up, blinking at the screen with bleary eyes. It’s Rob. Jesus. Can’t he just leave me alone? Hasn’t he hurt me enough? I let it ring and refuse to answer. He’s called me a bunch of times and left me at least a dozen voicemails and texts. I don’t want to talk to him. Nothing he could say right now could make this better. I can’t face him, knowing what I know now.
But at the same time, I miss him desperately. I feel like there’s a hole where my heart used to be. It sounds dumb, but sometimes I literally get chest pains, I miss him so much. But I have to stay strong because the Rob I miss was nothing but a fantasy. I feel so stupid for thinking he wanted to have a family with me, when all he really wanted was to get back at his ex. All those sweet words were just that: sugar. All fluff and no filling. What a dumb, naïve girl.
I lose myself in the movies, grateful that Netflix has an unlimited supply of sad films to make me feel a little bit better about my own life because no matter how shitty I feel, it’s nothing compared to the horror in store for the characters in Life is Beautiful. My heart hurts for the little boy and for his father who does everything he can not to let his child know that they are in a concentration camp. It’s heavy stuff, and far worse than a breakup. At least that’s what I tell myself, but somehow, my heart still longs for Rob even as the characters run around on screen. When the movie finally ends, my face is streaked with tears and my nose is running, although I don’t know if it’s because of the movie, or because I feel so sorry for myself. Probably both. I wipe the snot off on the blanket, not even caring that it’s disgusting.
Suddenly, my doorbell rings. The last thing I want to do right now is talk to someone. I look like a complete mess and feel like a pile of shit. But whoever it is won’t stop. Ding ding ding! Jesus Christ, it’s so annoying! Why won’t this person just go away already?
I cover my face with the blanket, hoping whoever it is will give up and leave, but the doorbell just keeps buzzing. I sigh, forcing myself to get off the couch. I look like shit, but whatever. If this person wants a response, they’re going to deal with me in this messed up state.
I swing open the door, half-expecting to see Mr. Limey from downstairs. He’s our elderly neighbor who likes to cook, and always seems to be short a few ingredients. Sometimes it’s a cup of sugar or a splash of milk. One time, it was the steak for his steak frites. Go figure.
I’m ready to bite off Mr. Limey’s head, but my mouth falls open when I see who it is, because it’s my lover. He’s massive, dark and angry looking in a black suit. His expression is one of thunderclouds, and the man bursts through the door while letting out a growl, wild-eyed and crazy. I stare at him, gaping as he barges into my apartment.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he demands, his imposing figure casting a shadow over me. I’m silent, merely staring at him for a few minutes before the words come rushing out.
“What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with you?” I volley back, putting my hands on my hips and staring him down. I don’t care how rich and powerful he is. He can’t just barge into my place acting like a lunatic. “This is my apartment. What do you think you’re doing?”
“What the hell was I supposed to do?” he roars. “You wouldn’t answer any of my calls or texts. I’ve been trying to reach you for days.”
“I don’t have to answer your calls,” I say, my voice low. “You are not entitled to a response from me.”
He takes a deep breath.
“Fair enough, Ally. You’re right. You don’t owe me a response, but I hope at least you’d feel that I deserved one.”
It hurts to look at him because he’s so handsome. Just for a moment, I let myself take in the physicality of Rob, from the deep black hair to the piercing blue eyes. I let my eyes run over those broad shoulders and wide chest, mentally imprinting him in my mind’s eye in case I never get the chance to see him again. The thought alone is so painful that a sharp stab hits my belly, leaving me slightly bent over. He’s everything to me, but he used me too. In a low voice, I say, “I think you should go.”
The billionaire just looks at me, immobile, those blue eyes making me sob internally.
“If that’s really what you want, fine, I’ll go, but I don’t understand what’s going on. Please just tell me what’s on your mind.” His voice is rough and soft at once, begging me to open up. The expression on his face seems genuine, but I don’t trust him. I can’t afford to.
I’m having a hard time forming the words, but I make myself say something.
“I’m not going to let you play with my heart anymore,” is my stiff reply.
He’s genuinely bewildered. “What?”
“I know what you’re really up to,” I say, holding back my tears. I don’t want to cry in front of him, so I tilt my head back once more, hoping the angle will keep the hot tears in my eyes.
But Rob is really perplexed. He sits down on the couch, his big form occupying most of the space and taking over the spot where I’ve spent the last two days hiding from the world.
“Ally, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What is it you think is going on?”
He really doesn’t know? He thinks I’m so dumb that I can’t figure it out? I guess I’ll have to spell it out in detail.
“I saw Lindsay the other day. She told me everything.”
The agitation in his voice rises.
“What? Lindsay? Why would you talk to my ex?”
“She came by to pick up Katie. She told me all about how you’re trying to keep up with her and her husband. She told me that you only asked me out because you didn’t want to go solo to the fundraiser. She told me that you only bought a new apartment because she bought a new apartment. Look, Rob, I get it but I don’t want to be a part of the twisted game of one-upmanship that you’re playing with your ex-wife. I thought it was real between us, but evidently
not. You’re just messing around with me because you can.” By the time I’m done getting all of it off my chest, tears are streaming down my cheeks.
Rob doesn’t say anything. He just sits there, staring at me, his mouth hanging open.
Suddenly, anger suffuses my form. I shove his chest, not very hard, but enough to let him know that I mean business.
“Just go home. Can’t you muster a little bit of respect? You made me believe that you loved me but you’ve just been using me this whole time. I don’t want anything to do with your games!” My wail comes out pathetic and I almost drop to my knees, I’m so hurt. But it’s too late. My pain is out in the open, a shimmering mass between us and Rob’s expression is a mixture of pain and concern.
His brow knits.
“Ally, please stop this. I’m not playing games with you. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you. This is all some giant clusterfuck because my ex is a horrible person who’s twisting things. She’s been feeding you lies, and sweetheart, you can’t believe what she says. Listen to me, Ally. Trust me.”
I want to believe him. I really do. But there’s so much about what Lindsay said to me that hit right to the core of my insecurities. “I don’t know Rob. You did ask me out right before the Annual Fair, and you did just buy a new house and a new car right after Lindsay and Sheldon did. Doesn’t the timing mean something? That’s three events. Coincidence all three times? I want to be real, but I … I just don’t know.”
Rob shakes his head, reaching out to cup my face. His hand is so big and warm, and I fight every urge to sink into touch, to let him take care of me and make the hurt go away.
He growls again.
“Baby, I’m so sorry that she made you feel like this. Please believe me. I had no idea why you were upset and I’ve spent every waking moment since you stopped talking to me trying to figure it out. Full confession: yes, I did ask you out because I wanted a date to the fundraiser so I wouldn’t look like a chump in front of Lindsay and her new husband. Maybe that makes me pathetic and weak and an asshole, but it’s not the whole story. I kept going out with you because I think you’re amazing. I’ve never met a girl like you. I love your body and your gentle heart and the way you take care of my daughter and the way you make me feel. Do you hear me Ally? I love you.”
This is the third time he’s used the L-word, and my heart turns over in my chest, making me catch my breath.
“But why then? Why did you buy all those things? You definitely don’t need them.”
He’s silent for a moment, staring off into the distance before shaking his head.
“Aw, fuck baby. I just … I don’t know, I’m afraid I’m coming on too hard and fast with you sometimes, and I’m afraid of scaring you away. You’re young, and you’re not ready for this.”
“I like it hard and fast,” I whisper. “Tell me.”
He looks away again before taking a huge breath and meeting my eyes straight. The blue blazes so hot that I’m singed even from where I sit, a few feet away. The air positively crackles with electricity.
“The reason I bought that new larger apartment and the big new car is because I want to have children with you, after we get married. That’s why,” he says simply. “I want to be with you Ally. I did it because of us.”
Whoa. What? I’m dumbstruck, wondering if I’ve somehow managed to imagine the words that just came out of his mouth. I can barely process this information. “What?” I ask him.
Suddenly, the billionaire’s moving fast. One moment he’s sitting on the couch, and the next he’s down on the floor by my side on one knee. Oh my god. Is this really happening? Indeed it is.
Rob takes a deep breath, looking at me with those intense blue eyes that make me so, so happy. He takes my hand in his.
“Ally,” he says, in his deep, melodious voice. “Will you marry me? Will you be my wife until the end of days, bear my children, and make me the happiest man in the world?”
Oh my god. I can barely breathe. It’s all so sudden, but all so right too. The hole in my heart fills with joy and light, and my tears of pain start to turn to tears of joy.
“Yes, Rob,” I blurt. “Oh yes. I will marry you.”
He wipes the tears from my eyes and kisses me, rough yet soft at once. He devours my mouth and I devour his in return, our hunger meeting at the fore. I’ve never been so happy in my whole life. All the pain of the last few days has been washed away by the outpouring of his love. I never want to be without him again because this man is my home. My heart’s quested so long, and it’s finally found where it begins. With him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t bring a ring,” he growls, breaking off the kiss. Our foreheads are still touching and our hot breaths mingle. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“I don’t care about the ring,” I murmur. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You don’t want to wear my ring?” he teases, pretending at offense. “You don’t want to show your friends? I knew you were down to Earth, but come on. At least let me take you to my jewelers.”
I laugh. I must look like such a mess right now after the tornado of emotions I’ve been through today, but my lover doesn’t seem to mind. He wants me to be his wife, and I’m over the moon with joy and ecstasy. My heart soars, and I smile a little tearfully at him.
“I didn’t mean it like that. You know that. Of course I’d love to wear your ring! I just meant it’s not about the diamond for me. It’s about you. Us. Being together.”
He’s silent, those blue eyes devouring me.
“How did I get so lucky?” he asks on a whisper. “They broke the mold when they made you, you know that right?” he says.
I mull the phrase over, but I don’t understand.
“What do you mean?”
He kisses me on the forehead. “You’re one of kind,” he growls. “You’re the most perfect girl in the whole world. I want you to be the mother of my child. My children. I want a dozen rug rats, and I want to start immediately because I know you’re going to be the most amazing mom.”
“Stop it,” I say, but I don’t really want him to stop.
He kisses me deeply, his tongue darting into my mouth, pulling me closer to him.
“I love you so much, Ally Summers,” he says. “Tell me you love me too.”
I adore his commands, and smile sweetly at him as my heart does another somersault.
“I love you too, Mr. Lockhart,” I say. “Always and forever.”
That does it. He scoops me off the couch.
“Come on, I’m getting you out of here.”
“Where are we going?” I giggle as he turns sharply to the right, barreling towards the door. He’s so strong that I seem weightless in his arms, despite my generous curves.
“To our new home,” he growls. “I almost lost you and I’m not going to let you slip away again. Besides, you deserve to see your new apartment because I bought it with us in mind. I want you to see where you’re going to live, and where our kids are going to grow up.”
Oh my god. A family with this man. Nothing would make me happier, and I positively melt against his chest, turning into a puddle of warm, feminine need.
“Yes, Mr. Lockhart,” I say softly, stroking that hard, masculine chin. “I’d like that.”
He looks at me and growls once more, those blue eyes blazing. “I can’t get you home soon enough, sweetheart, because that’s where we belong. Together. Our home.”
Once again, my heart soars and I burrow into his arms as if seeking shelter and safety that only he can provide. But when Rob steps outside onto the landing, I see that it’s a surprisingly beautiful day, sunny and warm with a gentle breeze blowing. The sky is brilliant blue, with a few fluffy clouds floating peacefully by.
He carries me to his Rolls, which he’s left double parked in front of my apartment. It looks so out of place in my run-down neighborhood, but the billionaire doesn’t care. I slide into the passenger seat beside him, holding onto his arm because I can’t stand to spe
nd another moment without feeling his body next to mine.
Once the door closes, I’m alone in the plush luxury for an instant. I should never have doubted Rob. He really does love me. It’s as clear as day to me now, and I was silly and misguided to listen to his ex. Sure, there were some coincidences, but I completely misunderstood the underlying reason behind the purchase of the car and the apartment.
Now I know better, and I suppose that’s what life does. It teaches you hard lessons, but once you absorb them, the outcome can be incredibly rewarding. I lean back against the white leather, basking in the security of Rob’s love, and knowing that my future with him is as bright as the sun.
“You good, sweetheart?” he asks, getting into the car and turning my way. Those blue eyes are the answer to my everything, and I nod and smile.
“As long as I’m with you, then always,” is my answer. After all, my dreams have come true. I’m with the man of my fantasies, and I lay my head on his shoulder as he pilots the car, dreaming new dreams of wedding dresses and gurgling babies with his black hair and my brown eyes. I’ll make a big happy family with the man I love, and we’ll grow old together with grace and passion intertwined in our lives. After all, this isn’t the end of our story. It’s only the beginning of the next beautiful chapter, and I can’t wait to see what lies ahead.
Epilogue
Rob
My wife has never looked so beautiful. The last six months have been a whirlwind what with us getting married before a small circle of family and friends, and both of us moving into the new penthouse. But it’s worth it because my wife has a glow to her skin, and a certain peace and loveliness that entrances me from across the room.
After all, my beautiful wife is pregnant now, and the bump is visible beneath her semi-sheer blouse. Ally’s curves have become more generous, and as if she knows what I’m thinking, she reaches two hands down to smooth over her stomach, smiling to herself as she says a mental hello to the baby.
