by A.L. Crouch
Chapter 6
Waking with a start, I shot up in bed. I immediately looked into the mirror and saw only my own reflection staring back at me. With a sigh and a freshly brewing headache, I laid back down. What happened last night? A dream? It couldn’t have been real. And yet talking with him . . . with Donovan, felt more real and natural than anything else in my life.
Aside from the throbbing, which now made its way to my temples, I felt more rested than I had in months, maybe even years. A knocking jarred me from this realization. It was coming from the front door. I glanced at the clock. Only 9’o’clock. Who could be here at this hour on a Sunday?
Getting up from the bed, I glanced in the mirror before going to the window. I wanted to see Donovan, needed to see him, to convince myself that last night had been. My reflection alone stared back at me. Damn.
I looked out the window to the driveway below. There was a squad car parked in front of the house. I thought that perhaps Sulley had sent a car to pick me up. The idea filled me with sudden regret at how I had treated him the night before. He must have been upset with me to have sent someone rather than pick me up himself. I lifted the window and stuck my head out.
“I’ll be right there!” I yelled and winced at the vibration the action sent through my aching skull.
I grabbed some clean clothes from my bag and rushed into the bathroom and paused when I saw the Percocet bottle on the counter. I stared at the bottle and contemplated taking one, but then pitched them into the waste basket beside the sink and shut the door.
Dressed in a floral skirt and a comfy blue sweater, I hurried down the steps to answer the door. Will nodded at me from the front stoop. My shoulders tensed with sudden anxiety. I was in no shape for another verbal assault and with the new day I felt quite resentful of the one he had given me last night. I still felt horrible about crashing the Mustang, but I could have died and all he had cared about was the car.
“What are you doing here?”
Will shifted from one foot to the other, his deputy hat held nervously in front of him.
“I . . . came to apologize,” he scowled, “for my behavior yesterday.”
I was speechless. An apology was the last thing I expected to hear from him.
“Sulley put you up to this, didn’t he? Well, you were pissed for a good reason, so consider yourself off the hook,” I said and then started to shut the door.
Will caught the door and pushed it back open and stepped closer.
“No. I wanted to come. Can I come in?”
I hesitated. The thought of being alone in the house with him, especially after the way he had screamed at me yesterday, made me uncomfortable. But I decided it was only fair to hear him out. I stepped aside and let him in. Will hung his hat on the coat rack and followed me into the kitchen. He looked into the living room and paused mid-stride.
“Is that . . . her piano?”
“Yes it is,” I said and continued into the kitchen.
Will stared another moment and came in after me.
“I was just about to make some coffee,” I said going to the pot. “Would you like some?”
“That would be great,” he answered having a seat at the table and unzipping his jacket. “Thank you.”
I filled the pot with water and measured out the grounds. I could feel Will burning a hole into my back. I flipped the on switch and spun around.
“So why don’t you tell me why you are really here. You’ve been awfully quiet, no snide remarks today?”
Will looked at his shoes. “I told you, I want to apologize. It’s not the easiest thing in the world for me.”
I had a seat across from him at the table and folded my arms.
“Well let me help you,” I offered and looked him in the eye. “Alex, I am sorry for my jerkishness yesterday when I yelled at you about crashing my broken heap into the side of a mountain. EVEN though,” I continued, cutting him off when he tried to protest, “you HAD to crash it in order to save your own life from my death trap of a car with crappy brakes.”
Will stared at me blankly. “Are you done?”
“I think so, yes.”
“First of all, jerkishness is not even a word. And she was not a heap or a death trap . . . which is another thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
I glared at him in response, undaunted. He sighed and continued.
“And I AM sorry, more than you know. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I guess I just . . . freaked out.”
I sighed and sat back in my chair. “Well, that car did mean a lot to you, so I get it. I’m really sorry Will. I should never have borrowed it . . .”
“No,” Will interrupted. “It’s not about the damned car. I mean, yeah, I loved that car, but it’s just a car. I was freaked out because I almost got you killed. I couldn’t live with that,” he said and then whispered under his breath. “Not again.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Look,” he said leaning towards me, his intense eyes locking with mine, “I know the brakes were fine on that car. They were solid. I replaced all the brakes a couple of years ago when I rebuilt the engine. There’s no reason they should’ve gone out like that.”
I stood up and let his words sink in as I got two coffee cups down from the cupboard.
“Well maybe I hit something without knowing,” I said filling the cups with the fresh brew. “ Or maybe the rain . . .”
“Not likely.”
I sat a mug in front of him and sat back down, cradling mine in my hands.
“Maybe you put them on wrong to begin with.”
Will sneered. “No way. It was years ago. They would have gone out way before yesterday. And I know what I’m doing when it comes to that car.”
“Clearly,” I smirked.
Will sighed and continued to shake his head.
“So what are you suggesting then?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I called the mechanic this morning but he doesn’t appear to be open on Sundays. I’ll try back tomorrow, see what he has to say.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Wow, that’s a lot better than Evelyn’s Black Death.”
“Thanks, I think,” I said taking my first sip and savoring the feel of the hot liquid on my scratchy throat. “Maybe it will help this headache.”
“Yeah, you don’t look so good. That’s a pretty nasty lump on you head.”
“Always were the flatterer, weren’t you?”
“I just mean that you got pretty banged up. I am sorry,” Will said, and cupped his hand over mine on the table.
“Yeah, well . . . it could have been a lot worse.”
Will leaned in close, making my heart beat faster. I thought I smelled a hint of whisky on his breath.
“I mean it Alex. I am really sorry about yesterday. About everything.”
I wondered if we were still talking about the car accident, but my thoughts were lost in the intensity of his deep, chocolate brown eyes. I saw pain and heartbreak in their depths and felt a compulsion to wipe it all away somehow. The thought startled me. I cleared my throat and I mentally slapped myself, forcing my eyes away. The intensity of his stare was too much.
“Well, it’s just too bad I wasn’t here to borrow your car when I was in high school. Wrecking the infamous Billy Galia Stang would have made me the most popular gal in school,” I smiled and watched his eyes soften as he laughed.
“And that, Miss Thing, is EXACTLY why I would never have lent it to you. I can’t even imagine how bad of a driver you must have been back then.”
I gawked, exasperated. “I happen to be a very good driver.”
Will laughed and motioned to the lump on my head. “Clearly.”
He met my eyes again and this time we both burst into laughter. We’re laughing about it now, that’s good, I thought. I was afraid that he would be mad at me for all of eternity. The look of rage and disgust he had given me at the accident scene had convinced me of it. Will was a totally different person when
he laughed though. His smile softened his rugged exterior and made him look almost child-like.
We were still laughing when Sulley walked into the kitchen. I jumped and both Will and I stopped laughing. Sulley held up an apologetic hand.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I knocked on the door, but I guess you didn’t hear me.”
Will stood and put his coffee cup in the sink. I watched Sulley, trying to gauge his emotions. He looked more curious than anything, which I guessed was a good thing. He wasn’t upset with me about last night, though I was sure to get another snide remark about Will.
“Not a problem Chief. I was just heading to the station. Came by to apologize for my ‘jerkishness’ yesterday,” Will said and shot me a wink. “Thanks for the coffee.”
Will grabbed his coat and went out the door.
“Jerkishness isn’t even a word,” Sulley hollered to him and then turned to me, questions in his eyes.
“You look as surprised as I was when I opened the door this morning.” I stood and retrieved another mug from the cabinet. I motioned for Sulley to have a seat while I poured him a cup of coffee.
“Well that was awfully nice of him.”
“Yeah, well he’s not the only one who needs to apologize for their behavior yesterday. I’m sorry I snapped at you. It was uncalled for. I love you, you know that . . .”
Sulley took a sip of his coffee and nodded. “Don’t you worry about it Kiddo. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. I was being insensitive.”
I watched him shake the image of last night from his mind like an unwanted drawing from an Etch-A-Sketch and smile.
“That bump on your head has you all mushy this morning,” he said, snickering. “ Or is it the visit from the deputy that has you all warm and fuzzy?”
I rolled my eyes at him. There it was. I stood to put my cup in the sink.
“Seriously? The man came over to apologize, not to wine and dine me. I thought it was a nice gesture.”
“Mmmhmm,” Sulley murmured.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sulley threw up his hands and shrugged. “Hey, I’m not saying a word. You’re a grown woman. Said so yourself. Moot point, remember?”
“That’s right. Thank you.” I smiled, satisfied with that answer. “You finish your coffee, I’m going to grab my purse.”
I jogged up the steps as quickly as I could with the fading headache. The coffee seemed to be helping, thank God. I longed for another pain pill that would kill it entirely, but I was determined to keep a clear head. I needed last night to be real more than anything. I needed him . . . Donovan, to be real. Last night had been the first night I hadn’t felt utterly alone. I had succumbed to the feeling that I would always be alone. Donovan reminded me of how wrong I had been.
When I got to my room, I looked straight to the mirror. Nothing. I stood in front of it and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and remembered what he had said. I needed to believe. I focused on accepting the fact that I had a . . . Damn! I opened my eyes and stared at myself. Guardian Angel. Just thinking the words was too unreal. It felt insane.
“Let’s go Kiddo. We’ve got to meet Gram at church. Evelyn took her to breakfast this morning. They’ll be at the church any minute.” Sulley called from downstairs.
I gave one final glance into the mirror. Frustrated with myself, I grabbed my purse and left.
