by Ambere Sabo
So, we protect what’s ours because it’s the only thing we can do. Lilly has round the clock protection, me, but I know the whole thing still wears on her. She’s stronger than her brother gives her credit for though, but I can tell she's still afraid.
She’s tried to change her looks. Hoping if she doesn’t remind him of his wife anymore he’ll just leave her alone. Her Ma was pissed when she came home with the vibrant red hair she’s rocking now. Havoc threatened to kill Ink if he gave her a tattoo when she started asking Cess about hers. Not that she couldn’t go somewhere else.
Today, on a day for celebration, she watches everyone around her. Worried that at any moment a new gift will arrive, or perhaps today’s the day he’ll decide to stop playing games and make his move.
“Lil there are enough brothers in this auditorium to keep you safe. We went over all this last week in church. Nothing is going to happen to you. Please try to enjoy your graduation. It's your day, baby girl. You deserve it. We got you,” I whisper in her ear as I come up beside her and rub her arms. Trying anything to get her to calm down.
She melts against me when I do, and it sets me on fire. The feel of her body next to mine makes me feel alive. No matter how damn hard I try, it won’t go away. I want a woman I have no right even thinking about. I take a moment more than I should to just breathe her in.
“You need to go get in line to get in your seat,” I say, pointing to her classmates starting to line up.
Sighing, she tells me, “I know. Ma will kill me if she doesn’t get to see me walk that stage.”
I can’t help the laugh that slips through my lips, “And she’ll kill me for making you miss it. Now go. You know your Ma pissed off scares the shit out of me.”
There’s my girl, I think when the smile I’ve grown to crave lights up her face. She finds it hilarious that I’m scared of her itty-bitty mother, but that woman is scary as shit when she’s in the mood. I don’t know how Havoc made it to adulthood. I truly don’t.
After making sure Lil is safe and sound in her seat, I make my way to mine with Havoc and Angel. All of the Sons and a few of The Reapers are littered throughout the auditorium, but those of us who are important to Lil, are all together. Rose is sitting with Vic and Prez, while Venom sits with Cessy.
When it comes time for Lil to walk across the stage, cheers erupt from almost every section. She looks amazing beaming back at us as she walks across to get her diploma. She’s worked her ass off, and I’m damn proud of her for it, we all are.
I know she’s upset she can’t stay here in Austin and work with the kids, but I'll admit I’m a selfish prick. Nothing makes me happier than knowing she’ll be close, and I can always keep an eye on her. Prez has been getting pretty pissed about me not letting the other members take care of her security detail these last few months. I can’t be much of a Road Captain if I’m always out of town but damn it if I want any of the other brothers to be the ones making sure she’s good.
If I couldn’t be here, I’d send Dash or Colt. Colt is young as fuck, and it shows. He can take care of his own, or I wouldn’t have sent him. But I know she finds him annoying as hell. Kind of like the kid brother you never wanted. And Dash, well Dash is so far gone on Kat, it's ridiculous. If only he’d man up and make a fucking move already. Basically, both don’t have a chance in hell with my baby girl.
I have to remind myself I don’t either. Lilly deserves the best and an ex-marine biker is nowhere near that. Besides, Havoc would have my fucking head. He’s already threatened me with bodily harm if I so much as think about touching his baby sister. Thank fuck, he isn’t in my head.
Chapter 2
Lilly
Blue Bells looks like a party store threw up every graduation decoration known to man on every possible surface. There are at least three different banners draped on the walls with these multi-colored centerpieces that say congrats grad. But what has me in damn near a fit of giggles is the balloons, the ceiling is wall to wall balloons. Dash informed me the second he could that he’d been in charge of decorations, I should have known.
Rodeo and Wraith take turns manning the BBQ with Cessy behind the bar. Watching her waddle back and forth to make drinks isn’t as entertaining as how Venom fawns over her. He hates that she won't let one of the other girls take over and man the bar.
“Come on, baby. Let Kat do the drinks, please, you need to be restin’ not getting these fuckers their drinks,” he pleads.
“Now you listen to me Ethan Walters,” oh shit she used his given name this is never good for Venom. Cess is the only one who can get away with calling him anything other than Venom so when the brothers around him start to chuckle he fixes each of them with a glare. He may be a big ol’ softy when it comes to his woman but he’ll still kick their asses any day.
“I’ve already told you I can’t sit down. Your tall as hell son ends up punching me in the pelvic bone and playing soccer with my ribs. I need to be stretched out.”
“Baby,” he starts before shes reaching up to silence him with her finger.
“I promise when I get tired. I’ll let Kat take over, okay.”
“Promise?” he asks. She gives him a nod followed by a kiss that could make a saint hot and bothered.
The brothers don’t let their big bad enforcer get off so easy. Sounds of a whip cracking can be heard from the few close enough to watch the display. Cessy silencing all of them with an evil eye.
Cessy takes no shit as it is, add in being eight months pregnant and the brothers know better than to fuck with her. If she doesn’t kick their asses, they’ll be lucky if Rodeo does it before Venom. She's carrying the first future generation of the sons after all. That little boy is going to be spoiled as shit. As his godmother, it's my job to make damn sure he is.
No matter how hard I try even being surrounded by all those I hold near and dear I can’t keep the worry from my mind.
Don’t let him take this from you…
I've repeated these words over and over in my head from the minute I found the box in my seat. I don’t have the courage to open it right now. I just can’t. Every gift that’s come has gotten increasingly more extravagant, and I know a ring box when I see one. I just want one day of normal. One day to celebrate finishing nursing school.
If I had given the Sons the gift, no one would be enjoying themselves right now. My graduation party would have been ruined. Interrupted with church and everyone giving whatever ideas for what they think the gift might mean.
It gets us nowhere. Why did he send the amethyst and opal tennis bracelet in February for my birthday? How did he know it was my birthday? Why the blinged out Dia de Los Muertos skull at Mardi Gras? Does he know how much I love New Orleans? Or the Faberge egg for Easter? There's no figuring out the crazy that has become my life. I wish everyone would get that already.
I’ll deal with the box when I'm in the privacy of my own room at Ma’s. For now, I will not let him take this from me.
On that note, “Cess, can I get a Malibu and pineapple please?”
“Sure thing baby girl,” she answers with a smirk.
“Not you too, Cess,” Havoc groans as he comes up behind me with Angel at his side.
“Well she is the baby,” Angel chides.
Cessy must have seen him coming. She and Angel have taken to making sure they call me baby girl whenever he’s around. He can’t stand the nickname Gunner has given me. I think its more about the person who gave it then the name its self. He went after Gunner the first time he heard him say it. Dash and Rev had to physically hold him back. He threatened to personally take Gunner's life if he ever even thought about laying a hand on me. Way to cement the fact that I’m off limits, big brother.
“No, Maribel is actually the baby,” he grumbles.
My eyes are drawn to my new little sister as she sits with some of the brothers eating. Maribel is one of the girls that was rescued from the cells. When she told us her family put her there Ma decided to take her in. The fi
rst few months were hard, she pretended not to speak English and pretty much kept to herself. The only person she’d talk to was Venom.
Now? She’s finally starting to come out of her shell a bit. She’s smart as hell and speaks both English and Spanish fluently. Which is good since we thought she was thirteen when we put her in school and shes actually only eleven. What can I say, she's tall as hell. My heart melts a bit when she smiles and laughs at something Jekyl is doing.
My life may be a hot fucking mess but aside from Maribel, we got Rose back too. Wrecker had no luck when it came to having boys, Havoc being the only one. But girls he got in spades. I know I won’t have the chance to meet most of them as they died after he sold them to the cartel but getting to know my big sister has been amazing.
With everything she’s been through even now she as she waits for the Sons and the task force to find her children she still smiles. She told me god wouldn’t let her live without them after she’d already been through so much. I don’t know about god but Havoc and G are doing everything they can to find my nephews and niece.
The baby she was carrying when Havoc found her didn’t make it, she miscarried at five months. Doc said the stress of it all put too much strain on her body. Even after that she still has her faith. I'll admit mine waivers daily but I know, somehow all of us will make it out on the other side of all this cartel shit. We just have to.
Looking around Blue Bells my heart is truly full. I can’t remember the last time we all got together just to be. No club politics, no cartels, or psychopaths. Just the love of family and friends. The next few hours pass in a blur and I couldn’t have planned a better night if I tried.
Chapter 3
Gunner
“Gunner, open the door, man,” someone hollers from the other side. Their pounding only making the raging headache I have that much worse. Glaring at the bottle of Crown I downed last night as I walk to the door.
“What,” I growl flinging the door open.
Dash throws his arms up in defense, “We’ve got church.”
Confusion takes over, what the hell is he talking about? “No one said anything about church last night,” I say more to myself than him.
“Emergency session,” he says paying far too much attention to the wood of my doorframe.
“Spill it,” I snap.
“Look, man, I don’t know shit,” he says looking anywhere but at me. “Vic showed up here fifteen minutes ago in tears, and now we have church so bring your ass, alright.”
Panic sets in. Not even caring that I'm only in a pair of basketball shorts, I follow him downstairs to the chapel. The room is full of brothers all in a varying state of a hangover. Even Venom looks a little worse for the wear, but my eyes search for the only person I give a damn about right now, Lilly. Scanning the room, she’s not here, but Vic is damn near inconsolable with tears streaming down her face. Both Havoc and Prez try to comfort her, but she just sobs harder.
“Wheres Lil?” I ask. My voice cracking when a knot the size of Texas forms in my chest.
Havoc's eyes meet mine a range of emotions crosses his face from fear to pure rage. “He took her,” he growls.
The room grows quiet enough you could hear a pin drop before all chaos erupts. Brothers throwing out questions from every corner.
“Are you sure?”
“How did he get to her?”
“What's our move?”
The weight in my chest is too much, and my knees give out as my vision blurs. I failed her. I promised her he wouldn’t get her and I failed.
Moments with her flood my mind. How scared she looked the day I held her in my arms after they escaped him at Blue Bells.The way she looked up at me as I cradled her in my arms trying to give her all the strength I had. Her baby blues full of fear will be seared into my memory for all eternity. I swore I would do everything I could to never let her feel like that again.
Seeing the sheer determination she had when she challenged her brother to finish school. I knew then she wasn’t going to back down. She was going to graduate whether he agreed or not. I couldn’t help myself when I volunteered to protect her until she was finished. She looked at me that day with pure gratitude. My heart had never felt so full.
Watching her dance around in her pajamas as she sang whatever song came on the radio the first night we drank together. Watching the stress of finals melt away as she got to just be. Seeing the pure joy in her eyes as she laughed when she messed up the lyrics and erupted in a fit of giggles.
What hurts the most is possibly the last moment I will ever have with her. All I’m left with is the pain I saw staring back at me when I dropped her off at Vic’s last night. God, please don’t let that be the last moment I’ll ever have with my baby girl.
“Did you have fun tonight baby girl?” I ask with a chuckle. I know she did. Her cheeks have to hurt from how big she’s been smiling.
“I couldn’t have asked for a better night,” she replies, before cradling her head. “Though I may regret the amount of malibu I drank in the morning.”
“I think there are quite a few who may be feeling the same way in the morning, me included.”
“I swear I even caught Rose with a smile on her face a time or two.”
“Tonight is not a night for worry baby girl. She’ll get better, I promise. Now let's get you inside before your ma thinks we're out here doing things we shouldn’t be,” I tell her, climbing out of my truck. Before I can make it to her door, she’s already out of the cab and headed to her porch.
“Baby girl,” I start.
“Don’t Gunner. Don’t call me that,” she whispers without turning around.
Making my way to her side, I nudge her shoulder til shes facing me. “You’ll always be my baby girl, Lil. Why would you tell me not to call you that?”
Looking up at me I can see the glint of the tears in her eyes, “why shouldn’t we be out here doing things then Gunner. Why won’t you just admit there's something between us? Or do I have this all wrong and I’m the only one who caught feelings?”
Without thinking about it, I take a step away from her, and she flinches at the movement. “You know nothing can ever happen between us ba…”
“Don’t call me that,” she interrupts, the tears now rolling down her cheeks. “If all I am to you is Havoc’s kid sister, please stop calling me that.”
Looking away from her, “You know that’s not true, your my baby girl. But that doesn’t change who you are. No matter how much I wish things were different you are not mine to have.”
“Look at me,” she whimpers.
Her face is etched in pain, but it's her words that break me, “I love you, Gunner. If only that meant more to you than me.”
I open my mouth to tell her I love her too. That she is everything I could ever want in a woman, but I don’t have the balls to say it. With a nod, she turns and walks up the stairs.
“Baby girl,” I plead.
“Just go Gunner,”
God, what have I done?
Chapter 4
Lilly
Sitting on the side of the road I hold my head in my hands. What the fuck am I doing? Where am I even going? Reaching over I grab the note off of my seat. This man and his fucking notes. Twice now he has thrown my life into chaos with one of them, and I’m damn tired of it. My finger traces the words as I re-read his latest.
My dearest Lilly,
I want to congratulate you on finishing nursing school. I know how much hard work you have put in to get here I’m impressed with your dedication. Its one of the only reasons I let you stay in Austin. I doubt you’d ever have forgiven me if I took finishing school from you.
Now you’re finally done, and I see no more reason why you shouldn’t be here with me. I’m coming my beauty.
Enterrador
I really wish I would have given the box to the Sons instead of keeping it. Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten tipsy enough to say those things to Gunner. I didn’t need anyone else to ruin
my perfect night. I did that all on my own and this fucker made it all that much worse.
I didn’t think about the consequences, my next move was out of pure fear. I no longer have the will to stay and fight. My flight instincts kicked in and are on full run for your life mode.
I have no real destination in mind. I just want to get as far away from home as possible. As far away from the man who wants to own me and the man who already does but doesn’t want me.
I feel like I've been driving for years at this point. After only maybe five hours of restless sleep, I think delirium is about to set in if I don’t get some rest. I keep replaying it all in my head.
I couldn’t open the box when I got home. It had been in the back of my mind for hours but I wasn’t in the right state of mind after Gunner dropped me off.
Hearing him say that nothing could happen between us broke my heart. I’ll admit its always been an unspoken thing, that there was no future for us, but hearing him say it made it all the more real.
Regardless of how fucked my life is right now, I try to get some sleep. Changing into my pajamas I lay down in bed. Letting the tears run down the side of my face into my pillow. Finally, when I think I can’t possibly cry anymore I close my eyes to sleep. But that’s easier said than done. I toss and turn for hours before finally giving up and resigning to the fact that sleep just isn’t going to happen.
My eyes fall on the box at least a half-dozen times throughout the night. My mind warring between sleep, the fucked up situation I’ve made with Gunner, and that damned box. Eventually, curiosity killed the cat and all that.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed I open the box. I can't help the gasp that slips from my mouth as I draw my hand to my mouth. Enterrador really knows how to make a statement. I was right, it’s a ring box alright, and not just any kind of ring but a fucking engagement ring. A Giant amethyst and diamond engagement ring. A gorgeous one too but that’s beside the point.
