“What? What could you have done? Gone back in time and made it so it never happened? There’s nothing we can do about it. They’re both fucking dead.”
“Surely you must know that I don’t think of you as property. I never have and fuck knows that I never will.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that I am your property.”
“Whatever you need, Ocean. I’ll fucking do it. If you want me to sign some bullshit release then I’ll do it, anything. I don’t want you to feel like I’m holding you here, but fuck, Jade, please don’t go.”
“I’ll pay it back,” I tell him. “Whatever my father’s debt was, I'll pay it.”
“Jade …”
“No. I don’t care how fucking long it takes,” I insist, feeling my eyes begin to well with tears all over again. “It’s the only way. I have to pay it back. Every last cent.”
“Okay, okay,” he says, curling his arms around me again, feeling the desperation creeping up on me. “We can work it out in the morning. Let me take you inside. It’s fucking freezing out here.”
I glance around and sure enough, there’s a light frost over the lawn and I realize that he’s right. It’s bloody freezing and I hadn’t even realized. I allow him to lead me up the stairs and through the front door and by the time he’s pulling open the door to lead me out to the pool house, I pull back on his hand. “Please … I just … I.” I shake my head, having no idea what I’m trying to say before looking up and meeting his concerned gaze. “I don’t want to be alone. I can’t. I just … if I was to close my eyes ...”
Colton watches me for a short moment before nodding and pulling me back inside the mansion. “You can stay with me as long as you need,” he tells me.
We walk back through the mansion until he’s pushing through to the den. He leads me to the oversized couch and I drop down onto it. Colton disappears for all of two seconds before returning with a blanket and a bunch of cushions and despite the turmoil my heart and soul are suffering through, I feel a smile tugging at my lips.
Colton collapses down on the couch beside me and stretches out with the blanket. “Come here,” he murmurs, reaching for me.
He pulls me into his arms and a sense of comfort finally comes over me and for the first time all day, I finally feel like everything is going to be okay.
Colton is quickly becoming my home and the more time I spend with him, the clearer that becomes. I just wish it didn’t terrify me quite so much. His hand rubs up and down my arm and I’m thankful that he’s not pushing for answers, he’s just content to sit here with me in the middle of the night and hold me until the images in my mind begin to fade, but this time, I don’t think his presence is going to be enough to make it go away. Nothing is going to heal this. What I saw … it’s not something a girl can simply forget about.
I nuzzle my face into his chest and he instantly pulls me in tighter. “Are you okay?” he murmurs into the darkened room?
I shake my head. “I don’t think I’m ever going to be okay.”
His lips brush across my forehead and I close my eyes, trying to pull every ounce of comfort out of his touch. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head yet still feel the words slipping from between my lips. “I don’t think I can,” I tell him. “The Widows … if they knew I said something …”
“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “You don’t need to tell me what happened, but fuck, Jade. Please explain why the fuck there’s a lump on your head and your elbows and knees are all scratched up.”
I think over what happened and realize that I want to share this with him, at least the parts that aren’t going to put him in danger. He deserves some sort of explanation. One second I was in his office, clearing out a bunch of shit, and the next thing he knew, I was gone.
I curl closer into his side and let out a shaky breath. “I was with Nic and the boys at the Widow’s clubhouse asking them about the whole ownership thing. The papers I found today in your father’s office had their mark on the front and I had to know—”
“Wait. Your father was a Widow?”
I shake my head. “No, that’s just the thing. He wasn’t,” I tell him, skipping over the deeper truth and deciding to keep myself as distant as I can. “I couldn’t understand the connection between the three and I had to know what Nic knew, what all of them knew and it turns out that they’ve been lying to me since the very start. They knew exactly … they knew it all and they kept it from me.”
The fight out front of the compound comes slamming back and I find myself back there, reliving it all as I heard what Kian had to say and I yelled at the boys. That moment is going to live inside my mind, tormenting me until my dying days.
“I was just leaving,” I continue. “I’d just told them all to go to hell. I said that I was done and I had every intention of walking away and never looking back. I’ve never been betrayed like that before and just as I was walking back to your Ferrari, a black SUV came past and opened fire on us.”
Colton flinches and I feel his chest stop rising and falling as he captures his breath, holding it in fear of what I might say next.
“Nic threw me down to the pavement, that’s how I ended up all cut up. I could hear the bullets zooming past me. I’ve never been so fucking scared in my life. It was only a few seconds but it felt like it went on forever and when they were finally gone … Nic’s dad …”
“Fuck, Jade. Tell me this story doesn’t end how I think it does?”
“It’s so much worse.” Colton holds onto me, just letting me be at one with my thoughts and waiting until I’m ready to go on. “Kian’s dead,” I finally say, my tone sounding robotic and completely drained of all emotion. “I should have left after that, but I didn’t think it could get worse. I couldn’t leave Nic when his father’s body was still laying warm on the concrete and Eli … he’d been shot. I just … I couldn’t. I had to make sure they were going to be alright, but then …”
“Shhhh,” he soothes. “It’s okay, Jade. You’re home now. It’s over. You don’t ever have to go back. You never have to see them again if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t know what I want. They were supposed to be my family. Nic would always say ‘no friends, only family,’ and for a while, I believed him. He was supposed to be the one who was always by my side, but he’s … he’s a monster.”
“Well, that’s just the thing about family,” he tells me as the memory of Nic’s blade slicing across the necks of those men splits through my mind, bringing on the worst kind of headache. “They always have a way of screwing you over, no matter what their intentions.”
I’ve never heard truer words.
Needing the heaviness to fade away, I raise my head and meet his eyes. “You waited up for me.”
His eyes flick away and focus on the blank TV screen. “I mean … I was up anyway. It’s not like I was pining for you and waiting by the door.”
Somehow he manages to pull another smile from deep within me. “You were waiting for me,” I tease.
Colton rolls his eyes and with a heavy sigh, gives in. “Yeah, okay,” he says, grinning back at me. “So sue me, I was waiting up for you, but you can’t blame me. One minute you’re here and the next you were out the door like someone had lit a match under your ass. I was concerned and it turns out that I had every right to be.”
“I’m okay,” I whisper. “They might not care about betraying my trust, but they’d move heaven and earth to make sure I never got hurt … you know, physically.”
“Yeah,” he grunts, grabbing my waist and rolling us until he’s hovering over me. His lips brush against mine before he pulls back and meets my eyes. “How am I supposed to compete against a guy who saved you from a shower of bullets?”
“Easy,” I whisper, being more honest than I ever intended. “There is no competition. Not where you’re concerned.”
His eyes glisten with joy and I allow his warm smile to light something within me, if only for a second. Colton b
egins dipping his head and I know that the second he kisses me, this moment of tenderness will wash away and I’ll plunge right back into the darkness of my night and I can’t allow that to happen, not yet at least. I’m not ready to face it again.
His lips come crashing down toward mine but I stop him with a finger on his lips, wishing so badly that I had it within me to kiss him with everything that I’ve got and allow it all to fade away.
I shake my head as his face hovers just above mine and I give him a sobering look. “There is a little something I should probably tell you,” I say with a cringe, watching as his brows begin to furrow. “You know that whole drive-by shooting I was telling you about?”
“Yeah,” he says slowly.
I can’t help the grin that tears across my face, knowing damn well that I should be serious about this yet for some reason, I can’t help myself. “Your Ferrari might have been parked out on the road and possibly has a few small … holes on the side.”
“A few small holes?” he questions.
“Yeah,” I say, holding back a laugh. “I take it bullet holes aren’t a typical thing around here?”
He shakes his head, his eyes dancing with laughter. “No, Jade. Not even close.”
Chapter 28
A throat clears and my eyes spring open to find myself wrapped securely in Colton’s arms with Charlie, Spencer, and Milo staring down at us.
“Well, fuck,” Colton mutters beside me as I pull one of those fugly just woke up morning faces that should have Colton, Charlie, and Nic all reconsidering where they put their interest.
The thought of Nic has a shot of pain storming through to my chest but thankfully I don’t get a moment to think on it before Charlie’s jealousy cuts through the room. “So, uhhh… is this a thing now or were you two just up late, reminding each other how much you hate the other’s guts and then accidentally fell asleep … with all your clothes on?”
Shit. It seems like a lifetime ago that Charlie declared he wanted to pursue something with me, but in reality, it’s only been two weeks. How is it possible that so much has happened since then?
In the past two weeks, I’ve seen five dead bodies, been to two funerals, feared for my life during a home invasion, been shot at during a drive-by, and watched the man I once loved murder two men. Add Colton to the mix and these past couple of weeks have been exhausting.
Perhaps I’m due for a vacation, not that I’ve ever really had one of those before.
Lifting the blanket, I glance down and check that my tits haven't fallen out of my shirt before sitting up on the couch with a yawn as Colton does the same beside me, though he somehow manages to do it with a bit of grace.
I look up at Charlie with a cringe while ignoring the smirk on Milo’s face. “I, ummm—” I cut myself off and glance back at Colton, not sure if I really want to be the one responsible for breaking his friend’s heart. I’ve never exactly been in this situation before. What are the rules? Do I let the guys talk it out like men or do I just dump this shit on them and walk out like a fucking boss?
“Sorry, man,” Colton says before I get a chance to screw it up with my awkwardness. “I sorta sealed that deal already.”
Charlie narrows his eyes, looking for some kind of confirmation. “Like you fucked her or you’re fucking her?”
“Fucking, bro,” he says, giving Charlie a tight smile, hoping he works it out for himself that it’s so much more than just fucking.
“No shit,” Milo grumbles, stepping forward and giving me a meaningful look that has a cringe spreading wide over my face and making me realize what a shitty friend I’ve been.
Colton looks up at him and pulls himself to his feet, adjusting his sweatpants in the process. “Sorry, Milo. I didn't mean to steal your girl. I know you guys had … something going on but I assumed it wasn’t anything serious.”
Milo shrugs. “No, problem, man. It was just a bit of fun to pass the time. I prefer her as a friend anyway.” He glances at me and winks and I roll my eyes before he’s even started whatever bullshit quip he’s going to throw my way. “She’s too much drama for me.”
The boys laugh but I find myself staring at Charlie who doesn’t look quite as amused as the others. He meets my eyes and I pat the space beside me, watching as he slowly makes his way across the den. “Hey Hot Dog,” I murmur, keeping my voice low.
“Hot Dog?” he grunts in disgust, rearing back and looking at me as though he’s never been so disrespected in his life. “The name is Hot Sauce.”
“Oh, shit. That’s right,” I laugh, pressing a hand over my mouth to try and mask it as best I can. “I’m sorry. That one completely slipped my mind.” He rolls his eyes and flops back against the couch and I do the same, keeping my eyes on him. “Are you okay? I know you were kinda hoping for something to happen here.”
“Is it real?” he questions. “Or are you just fucking to pass the time and forget all the shit that’s going on?”
“It’s real, Charlie.”
“Are you happy?”
I bite the inside of my cheek and nod.
Charlie looks up, eyeing Colton like the enemy. “Does he treat you well?”
“Like a fucking queen.”
He lets out a heavy sigh. “Then I guess that’s all I can ask for. I have no choice but to deal with it.” He glances back at me and shrugs his shoulders, trying to play it off as though it doesn’t tear right through to his soul. “I’ll be fine, Ocean. It’s nothing the bottom of a bottle can’t fix.”
“You know I love you, right?” I say, leaning into his side as he puts his arm around me. “You were one of the first alright guys I met here but you and I… I’ll destroy you and not in the way you want me to.”
“I think deep down I know that,” he tells me, watching Milo and Spencer make themselves comfortable in the den. “But I was still hoping. You know your ass is fucking tight, right? I would have hit that over and over again.”
Colton grunts on my other side and grabs my arm. He tears me free of Charlie’s hold until I’m curled back into his warm side with his arm wrapped around my waist and his fingers flirting with the waistband of my jeans. “Hands off the merchandise, Charlie,” Colton warns him. “It’s one thing to think about all the things you want to do with my girl but try tempting her with it and you and I are going to have problems.”
“Your girl, huh?” Spencer questions. “I don't think I’ve ever heard you refer to a chick as your girl. Does this mean it’s serious?”
Colton nods. “I’ve spent the last month and a half fucking around and trying to push her away and she’s made it damn clear that she’s not about to go anywhere, so yeah, it’s about time I got on board with the idea. Besides, I have a feeling she would have forced my hand eventually.”
I scoff. “Bullshit. It’s the other way around, Carrington. You’re the one who forced my hand, remember? Or do I need to recap the whole masquerade party and the library?”
“Library?” Charlie asks, peering around me to see his friend. “What the hell happened in the library?”
“The library was nothing,” Colton says with a smile in his tone and a heat in his eyes that tells me he’s ready to do it all over again. “The shower is where things really took an interesting turn.”
“Shower?” Milo shrieks. “What the fuck happened in the shower?”
I glance over at him. “When was the last time you and I spoke? Haven’t I told you about the shower yet?”
Milo shakes his head and before he can start cursing me out for depriving him of all the hot and steamy details, Colton’s low tone breaks through the room. “Told him?” he questions, looking at me horrified. “Why the fuck would you need to tell him about that? He’s your ex.”
“Well,” Milo grumbles. “I wouldn’t classify it as that.”
For fuck’s sake. This conversation isn’t getting us anywhere. It reminds me of all the many nights I’d spent with the boys back home and had them fighting over bullshit things, mostly to stir N
ic about his fucked-up relationship with me. It was always fun and left someone with stitches, but we always came back for more. That's gone now and a part of me is happy that I can still have that fun with these boys, but it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same.
Needing to steer this in a direction where someone isn’t going to end up with a black eye, I look around at each of them. “What are you guys doing here? Shouldn’t you be sleeping in and enjoying your Sunday morning?”
Spencer raises a brow and scoffs in amusement. “Considering that it’s nearly three in the afternoon—no. I’m going to go ahead and say that ship has already sailed.”
“Shit,'' I grumble, leaning forward and searching around for my phone on the soft carpet. “Is it really that late in the day?” My fingers curl around the cool metal and I scoop it up to find my phone battery nearly dead with eighteen missed calls, twenty-three text messages, a bunch of messenger notifications, and even my snapchat going insane. “What the fuck?”
I sink back into Colton’s arms and start scrolling through it all. The texts are mostly from the Widows checking in on me. Some from last night after I left and some demanding to know that I’m alright this morning. I ignore them all, especially the ones from Nic. Hell, I don’t even open them and read over it, just simply hit delete.
There are calls from them as well but a few of them are from Milo and Charlie from this morning, probably checking in. Then there’s messenger which is a whole bunch of shit from Hendrix and Jess, filling me in on last night's party that was so incredible that I should have been there. If only they knew what I was actually doing.
Cocky F*ck: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 2) Page 29
