by Gigi Birtie
“So, this is how it's going to end?” I ask the toilet as I puke again.
“Oh god, kill me now. End my suffering make it a quick death.” I plead to the porcelain gods.
My stomach cramps again as I empty out more than I even thought that I had in me.
Sitting there for a few moments as I regain my breath. The waves of nausea subsided, but then dry heaves come. If only I had something to drink.
“Here drink this.”
As if this wasn't already horrible, Asher is crouched beside me handing me a glass of water with lemon.
I look at the water and take it eagerly drinking the whole glass.
“Slow down Sloane or you're going to…”
He didn't get to finish what I knew he was going to say, before I throw that up too.
Asher rubbed my back in a slow circle as I hang my head in the bowl.
“Here take slow sips this time.”
Asher had refilled my glass from a bottle of water that he had brought up with him.
“I don't understand why I'm so sick I didn't even drink that much, or I thought I didn't drink that much.” I wonder aloud.
“Maybe your pregnant” Asher laughs.
I smirk knowing that's impossible since I get the birth control shots.
“Har, har, but no, I'm set with the shot smartass.” I say as I smack his arm, “that shit isn't even funny to joke about.” Resting my head back on the toilet seat I wait to see if I'll be sick again.
Asher hasn't stopped rubbing my back which almost puts me back to sleep, but before I do Asher asks.
“Do you think you'll puke again?”
Keeping my eyes closed.
“No.”
Suddenly, I'm picked up off the bathroom floor and I'm back in Asher's arms.
“It's funny you pick me up like I weigh nothing.” I laugh, I know I weigh around one hundred and thirty pounds give or take, so I'm not light like most girls but since I'm tall it's all stretched in the right places.
“You are light. Besides this is a good workout.”
Asher's laugh shakes my whole body making me queasy.
“Oh please, stop laughing, I'm going to be sick.”
I grip his shirt not knowing what to do.
“Okay, Okay, I'm sorry. You're really funny though. The way you were begging for sweet death in there was comical.”
How mortifying. Could I just shrivel up and disappear now?
“No, you cannot shrivel up, stop wishing that.”
“Did I say that out loud?”
“Yes, now lets you get back to bed. I brought you some toast and yogurt.”
That was so incredibly thoughtful.
“Thank you but I'm not sure food is good for me to eat right now.”
“Well just take a few bites of both and we'll go from there.”
Asher sets me gently back in my bed where my pillows are now propping me up. Laying on my side seems to be the only comfortable position that doesn't make the room move. I open my eyes as Asher sits next to me with a plate of toast I look to the night stand and see a bottle of electrolyte water and a yogurt.
“Come on. Eat.” His tone is firm, so I know he won't take my feeble excuse of saying no.
I take a big bite of toast, but my mouth is so dry that I can't swallow. Seeing my struggle Asher gives me the water bottle that's already uncapped.
I drink it, grateful to get that toast down.
“Alright a couple spoons full of yogurt then I'll let you rest.”
I take one mouthful. He's feeding me like a baby and I feel so ridiculous right now. I swear I'm never drinking again if I don't die from embarrassment first. Taking one more mouthful, I hold my hand up saying enough.
Asher puts my food all back on a tray but leaves my water.
“Alright get some rest. By the time you wake up again you'll feel better.”
I don't stop him from leaving since my eyelids just closed and I went right back into sleep.
When I wake up this time it was almost dark out. I had woken a couple of other times and was feeling much better, but the weight of everything going on with Dane finally weighed on my heart, so I decided I just wanted sleep and apparently it was going to be an all-day event.
I rolled over facing my bedroom window and watched as the waves of the ocean crash on the shore. It was breath taking.
Calming with no ill effects.
I didn't want to move.
My bed dipped as someone sat next to me. These doors here are too quiet or I was fully tuned out.
“Sloane you should get up.”
It was Asher again.
“Why.”
“Your friends want you to join them they're on the beach having a bon fire.”
“I'll hang out with them tomorrow I just need a day to myself and deal with what happened the other day. My heart hurts, the man who showed me love and acted like I was his world decided to show me that sleeping with his supposed ex-girlfriend was a killer expression of affection. So right now, I just want some time to heal from this one.” I bury my face in my pillow, so it can soak up my tears that are now streaming down my cheeks.
Asher runs his hands up and down my sides causing me to cry harder. His gentle touch only reminds me of Dane and how sweet he was to me.
“To be deceived by someone that you thought was your everything is gut wrenching. I do understand but you can't hide. Dane fucked up but it's apparent that he wasn't your one love. That guy is waiting for you to try again so he can show you that you're his everything.”
I heard the pain in his words, I sense that he's felt the same as I have, maybe worse.
“Asher I'm not ready to find that guy right now I'm wishing Taze had gotten to me and killed me like he planned right now. Anything would be better than this.” I can't believe I just said that but it's true.
Suddenly, I was being pulled up so that I was face to face with Asher
His eyes were almost black with rage.
“I can't believe you just said that.”
I shift my gaze down to his chest, so I don't have to see his anger.
“Hey, look at me.” He demands. “I know about Taze and I never want to hear you ever say that again. You deserve so much better than what you've been dealt. There's no giving up, there's no wishing horrible things for yourself. There is someone patiently waiting to give you what those two couldn't provide.”
I knew he was right. I leaned forward resting my head on his firm muscular chest as he folded me in his arms bringing me to his lap causing me to straddle him.
“I'm sorry.” I whisper.
“Don't be sorry, just get out of this pity party and get back to being that strong woman I've seen on many occasions.”
Looking up to him I felt confused.
“I thought I've only met you the one time at the side show when you saved my ass, thank you again by the way, but am I missing something here?”
I was confused he knew so much about me, and I swear I've only met him the one other time.
“It's probably the beard, but I've met you plenty of times when you've visited Reese or came to some of the parties with him. I didn't have so much facial hair then and we never really introduced ourselves.”
There had been a guy I had always talked to at some of the parties, but he was even more gorgeous than Asher. I had been, so tongue tied that our conversation really never progressed much. He had the same beautiful emerald green eyes as Asher but there's no way this is the same person. Is it?
“Nooooo.” I'm feeling that same tongue-tied feeling overcoming my senses.
“Seriously, that was me.”
My jaw dropped, and Asher can see my realization written all over my face.
“You look so different with the beard, but I should have recognized the tattoos. We had some weird conversations at those parties.” I laugh recalling a few in particular.
“Yeah we did you always left me wondering what would we talk about next, but you always seem to come late when
I was leaving to go home early or when I was just showing up, granted it wasn't that many times but enough for me to remember you. Plus, Reese would always talk about you during drills, so I know more about you than you may realize.”
Uuggghhh, Reese why did he have to talk about me. I don't even want to know what he was saying.
“So, what made you grow the beard?”
It's sexy and all but I know under that is the most beautifully sculpted face I've ever laid eyes on.
“Superstition, that and I like having a beard, people stare at me less or run in the other direction as it sometimes looks intimidating.” He laughs. “You know how many guys have beards?” Asher states but continues, “tons, it's like I just blend in now instead of standing out.”
“I hate to break it to you Asher, but even with this beard, you still stand out.” I tug on it like a kid would with Santa. Asher goes to bite my fingers causing me to yelp and laugh at the same time. I draw my hand back quickly.
“Don't bite me….please.” I laugh.
Asher picks me up and deposits me on the bed so that I'm on my back with my legs now wrapped around him but it's not a good idea we both feel the friction and we both let out a soft moan while looking each other square in the eyes. The laughter is gone but smiles remain for us both.
“Thanks Asher.” I say with a raspy voice.
“For what Sloane?”
“For everything.”
Just then, Asher gently unwraps my legs and gets off me, planting a kiss on my forehead while tucking my hair behind my ear.
“Don't thank me Sloane show me our talk helped and that will be all the thank you I need.”
With that he gives me a genuine smile, turns and leaves me alone.
His last words really hit me, and I felt the strength from them. I will thank him every day by being a better version of myself and continue to learn and grow as a person. I will go home and deal with the whole Dane situation with grace and put closure to it all. I will thank him and maybe we can remain friends but there will be no second chances if that's what he thinks.
The rest of the night I stay in my room. I still needed time to myself but once morning hit; I shower, braid my hair into two braids; and put on my bikini, some denim shorts, and a plain white wife beater. I decided it was time to have a full breakfast, since no one was up yet; I made all the eggs, bacon, and pancakes for everyone. Just as I pulled the bacon from the oven, yes that's right I bake mine, everyone was sitting at the kitchen island.
“Good morning everyone.” I chirp. “Coffee is ready and so is breakfast.”
The only person who was missing was Asher but maybe he was sleeping in this morning.
“This all looks so good Sloane! I didn't realize you knew how to cook?” Tala remarks with pure surprise.
“Well, we always go out for breakfast and I felt like eating in soooo tah dah.”
Apparently it's too early for them to laugh at my magic like reveal.
“Thanks Sloane.” Mona says and kisses me on the cheek.
“Yeah thank you Sloane.” Riv chimes in.
I wave them off, as if I did nothing worth their thanks and shove some bites of pancakes in my mouth! Butter syrupy deliciousness right there. I sigh in how good it is. I didn't make your regular pancakes either I made Swedish pancakes the best kind in my opinion.
“So, we were all talking last night and if you're up for it we thought a beach day would be good, plus we can help you hash out what college to choose.” Tala’s tone was cautious as if I was an injured bird that she didn't want to fly away. It made me sad that she had to approach me like that.
“Sounds like a perfect day. I'm in!” Mumbling around a mouthful of food.
They were all looking at me like I said something wrong.
“What?” I ask, not knowing what was wrong.
“Well you seem very different today and it's just a bit surprising.” Mona informs me.
“I took my day to be hung over and to grieve. I'm no longer hung over and I'm done grieving over an idiot, so yeah I'm ready to live life and to figure out my future. Let's embrace the new day girls and Riv.” I smile the biggest smile I could give. I felt lighter renewed and I believe my words, I had a future to plan with goals to smash.
“Okay. I'm feeling this new Sloane, nothing but good times girl.” Riv fist bumps me and I smile at him with appreciation for the support.
“Fuck, yeah.” I add with a wiggle of my body.
I turn back to my breakfast. I feel their eyes on me but I'm hungry and my eggs are getting cold. As I finished up my breakfast, I started to clean up my mess. I let everyone know I'm ready to hit the beach when they were and that I would wait by the pool for them.
They all left to get ready and before I went to the pool I wanted to pack a cooler full of beer, water, and a few sodas. Of course, I made sure to put in some snacks too. After finding the house linen closet, I grab some sheets for us to lay on along with some towels. I couldn't see over them all, so I had to look to the side in order to not run into anything. No such luck though as I rounded the hallway to the kitchen. I ran dab smack into Asher, knocking me down and making the sheets and towels go everywhere. I didn't fall hard but it surprised me more than anything. I start to laugh as it's always funny when someone falls.
Looking up, I see Asher laughing along with me which makes me laugh harder.
Once the laughter starts to subside Asher reaches down and picks me up. His touch still gives me butterflies, but I just smile and thank him for the hand.
“So, what are you doing with all these sheets and towels don't tell me you're cleaning up the house?”
“No, we’re all going down to the beach to relax, swim, throw the football around, drink some beers; you know typical beach day plus I'm gonna hash out what college I'll attend. Do you want to join us, or do you already have plans?”
Asher is still holding onto my waist as I see he's thinking about if he wants to join us. I patiently wait for his reply but he's just staring at me. I bite my bottom lip, so I don't laugh. I didn't realize I asked a trick question.
“Well I can see you might need some time on this so think about it, we’ll be right out front if you want to join us and if not no worries.”
Slipping out of his hold I pick up the sheets and towels and make my way to the kitchen I grab the cooler and I'm officially a pack mule. I laugh at my stupid reference.
Looking back, I see Asher still standing there staring at me.
“Hey there's fresh coffee if you want some and in the oven I made you a plate of breakfast, that is if you eat breakfast if not then I'll take care of it later.”
I turn to leave.
“Thank you, I'll see you down there.” Asher calls after me.
Not turning around, I just call out, “great see ya when you come down,” and I continue on outside.
Tala comes running over.
“Oh shit, this is a lot of stuff.” She grabs half my load and I just unleash a blinding smile on her.
Tala just gives me a grin.
“What?” I ask.
“Did you have sex last night?”
My jaw drops.
“No, who would I even have sex with?”
“Asher.” She plainly states.
“Asher?“ I laugh, “like he would be into me, but no I didn't. I just had an amazing talk with him last night and I feel all the better for it.”
“Okay, I believe you, but he would be into you, you're gorgeous Sloane. Don't ever doubt that.”
Shocked by her words calling me gorgeous I just laugh. I don't see myself that way, but I take her comment as being a supportive best friend and that's why I love her.
Just then, our conversation is over as Mona and Riv show up, and we all carry something down the stairs to the beach.
Chapter 22
The sun was shining, and the surf was calming. We all were laying on the sheets since we just came out of the cool water.
“So what schools are you
r top three, Sloane?” Mona asks.
“Well, I'm torn between going to Cal, NYU, and USC. I've been accepted to all three and two others, but I'm not interested in the other two. So at least I have it narrowed down to three.”
“I think you should go to Cal, that way you can be there with Mona and myself.” Riv says.
I smile at the thought of being with them.
“No way, I think you should come to USC with me, Sloane.” Tala pipes in.
“Well to be honest my front runner is NYU, I've always wanted to live in New York City and to have the opportunity to photograph the gritty city would be a dream.”
“Yeah, but you would be so far away from any of us, we'll never see you.” Tala whined. “Why not just take a trip there instead like for the summer? I swear one summer on the east coast and you will be wanting to come back home after that insane wet heat.”
It's true the weather wasn't ideal, but the school was. The city and being away from all the drama plus going off on my own, being a complete nobody was what I would love the most, but maybe a summer getaway would be better.
“That might be a good idea, but I know if I go to Cal, I'll be forced to see Dane, and even though I like USC I'm not much of an LA girl and the classes I'm interested in are more along the lines of what I'm looking for at Cal, though NYU has everything I'm looking for in an education.”
I can tell Mona has something to say she's been staring at me the whole time with an intensity that I'm very familiar with.
“Okay, say it Mona.”
Mona sits up, getting ready to lay on me whatever she has to say, but it's going to be heavy I can just sense it.
“Alright, you know I have to lay out it straight.” Here it comes, I brace myself for Mona's brutal honesty.
“You have to look at the big picture Sloane. It's not in where you want to study it's where you'll want to be in life after school is over. Say you went to NYU all those connections you build will more than likely remain in New York. So, if you were to move back home those connections won't have the same hook up here as they do there. Also, what if one day when you're older and you have to move home to take care of your dad or Reese if something happened, yet you still need to work but all your connections are there not here. It would be like starting all over, even though you're qualified. We all know in the real world it's all in who you know, not what you know, in order to get ahead. Think about that because I know family is important to you and so are we. If you move, we all know we’ll try to stay in touch, but that doesn't pan out so well sometimes.”
