by L. A. Fiore
Gage rolled around in his head that it was the unknown that drew them to each other. Of course, there was a bit of an appeal that lingered in the back of his mind. He chuckled, letting out the tightness of his guilt and told her, “Well, I did pace. And if you must know, I’m on cup five.” He let out a laugh.
Softly, she replied, “To keep it real, I paced, too. I think I carved a path in my kitchen floor I was going back and forth so many times.”
Gage laughed. “I hear ya. How fucking sad is this? You’re thirty-eight, and I’m forty-six, and we’re acting like fucking kids.” He rose and went outside, a spunky Velvet at his side.
“Maybe a little, but you can’t deny it feels good. Kids don’t know how good they have it, how when life catches up to you, those carefree days are over.” Tilly walked to the fridge for a bottle of tea. “Besides, by your own admission, you need your food blended, old man, you’re not a kid anymore.”
“I agree. And, sweetheart, if you recall, we all started on blended food. Although, yours might have been hairy.” Gage took a seat in the chaise lounge, enjoying the late summer temperatures before the fall chill kicked in.
Tilly laughed. “You’re stuck on me eating my hair. Good thing the results are apparently worth it.” She sobered when she realized she was flirting. She wanted to feel badly, but all she felt was good. A kind of deep down happy she hadn’t realized she’d been missing. “Since you claim we’re acting like kids, I have some questions...very important questions. First, water ice or shaved iced?”
Gage took on a jokingly, serious voice when he asked, “Well, shit, is there a right and wrong answer?”
“I think shaved ice is inferior to water ice because once you suck all the flavor, you’re left with a cup of ice. I like sweet in every bite.”
Gage’s mind was stuck on suck and sweet. He even lowly grumbled, “Fuck.” Slipping from his memory that he had a phone to his ear.
At the tone of his voice, Tilly realized what she’d said. Heat crept up her cheeks, and to be honest that heat moved south, too. “It was suck, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, babe, it was,” Gage confirmed in a low rasp.
She giggled and lifted her tea. “Noted. Maybe we should move off of food. If you could have one day where you could do anything, what would you do?”
“Hmm,” Gage drawled and let her question move around his mind. There’d been times in his life that he should have kept his thoughts to himself. This was one of those times, but he whispered, “Spend all day in bed with the woman of my choice, no consequences.”
Tilly inhaled as chills moved over her body. She shouldn’t, but her mind was already there, imagining a day in bed with him, no consequences. Warning bells sounded, but she ignored them. She reasoned it was harmless. Like fantasizing about winning the lottery. She never got lightheaded thinking about winning the lottery though. Caught up in the fantasy, she added almost absently, “Not even getting out of bed to eat. A little cottage, windows open, sheer curtains allowing the ocean breeze in.”
Gage let out a breath and expressed. “Well, coffee is a must, food might be needed for refueling.” They sat in silence for a few beats before Gage chuckled. “We moved from food to sex.”
“I think we actually never got off sex since I said suck, and well…”
“True.” He took a deep breath, trying to think of another topic. Kids. That’s a safe one. “The kids hounding about Christmas break yet?”
Tilly walked outside, her thoughts lingering on sex with Gage. Just the thought had every nerve ending tingling. She hadn’t felt this alive in way too long. The fact that it wasn’t her husband making her feel it, another warning. The conversation shift was a good one, necessary, even if part of her wanted to stay on the other topic. Gage’s question made her laugh. “Yes, as soon as school starts, they’re counting down for Christmas. I think now that they’re older, they’re more excited for the time off, though Ashley has been dropping present suggestions every so often. Is Scarlett still determined to find a job for the holidays?”
“Yeah, she brought it up when we were at the batting cages a few weeks back. Not sure if I told you, but Dom’s sister manages a Starbucks, so she’ll probably wind up there.” He said, and whistled when Velvet got too close to the front yard. “C’mere, girl.” He called to her.
He wasn’t talking to her, and still, the rush of excitement those words stirred had her saying, “I wish.”
Gage teased like Tilly had earlier. “It was the c’mere girl, wasn’t it?”
Tilly replied breathlessly, “Yes.” She moved the conversation along when she said, “That Pink concert you took Scarlett to, I was there with Ashley. How many other times do you think we crossed paths and didn’t know it?”
“No shit?” Gage expressed on a breath. “Well, fuck, we might already know each other.” He laughed. “Maybe I need another pic, inspect it real good to make sure.” He joked.
Tilly laughed. “One sec,” she said, pulling the phone away. She brought up her camera, took a quick selfie and texted it to him. “I sent you one. You can send one, too, but your face isn’t a face I could forget.”
“Ditto,” Gage said, pulling the cell from his ear and putting it on speaker. “Opening it now.” There was silence before he grated out in a deep whisper. “Fuck.” This was because Tilly was wearing a black lace halter top with her hair pulled into a ponytail. Gage drew the phone out, arm’s length, snapped a pic, and sent it to Tilly. “Sent you yours.”
It was like Christmas morning, just a picture from him, and her body was going haywire. His image appeared, and her breath caught, looking into those brown eyes, a sparkle of mischief in them. Her gaze moved to his muscled arm, his chest covered in a plain white tee. That face, that body and his personality...his wife had hit the jackpot. How the hell did she not see that? Softly, she whispered, “If you were mine, I’d hold on with both hands.”
“Oh, yeah?” Gage replied in a deep rough whisper.
It was only then, hearing that deep whisper, that she realized she’d spoken her private thoughts out loud. “We tend to not see what’s staring us in the face, but how is she not reminded every time she’s with you? I’m probably crossing a line here, but for as sexy as you are, it pales to your personality. And that personality comes out every time you open your mouth. How doesn’t she see that? So yeah, if you were mine, you wouldn’t have a birthday where you spent it alone.”
Gage let those words sit with him for a few beats. Thoughts of what Tilly would do for him on his birthday roamed nicely around in his mind. “This is true, but some do get tired of looking at the same thing and need a change. I could say the same about your husband.”
“You’ve got a point. I suppose the grass is always greener.”
Gage uttered, “The sun brighter.”
Tilly muttered, “Flowers smell sweeter.”
“Exactly,” Gage whispered. There was silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Keeping them where they were, but taking a peek over the boundary to see if it was better on the other side, Gage broke the silence when he asked, “And what would we do for my birthday, Tilly?”
That was a dangerous question because she could be honest with herself and admit there was little she wouldn’t do with this man. That could be because it was a fantasy, but he made her feel things she hadn’t felt...well, ever. Instead of being honest and admitting a day in bed with no consequences sounded perfect, she, instead, said, “It’s your birthday. Whatever you wanted.”
“Hmm,” Gage mumbled. “What I want could be dangerous.”
She felt the heat creep up her neck, and maybe it was wrong, but she liked how he made her feel. Toeing the line, she whispered, “The truly fun things usually are.”
“And highly satisfying, too.” Gage added in a heavy voice. Not only were her words sinking into his brain, but they swept through his body, producing a warmt
h to coat his veins and the crotch of his jeans to grow tighter.
Tilly exhaled on a moan and moved back inside, walking right to the fridge, and yanked the freezer door open. “We seem to have a favorite topic.” She muttered. “You’re right, this is dangerous.”
Gage took a deep breath and exhaled, hoping to calm his thoughts enough to move the conversation elsewhere. “What kinda music do you like?”
He didn’t want to move the subject on, but for both of them, it was necessary. They spent the next three hours talking and laughing about everything and anything, from music and TV shows, to movies and favorite vacation spots. There was never a lull in the conversation or an awkward silence where either felt the need to fill it with chatter. They ate, sharing what they were eating, their favorite foods and restaurants, and what didn’t go unnoticed by either of them was that they smiled through it all. In fact, it sat nicely atop the guilt both tried to ignore and were only marginally successful in accomplishing.
_______________
Tilly stood in her mudroom. One ear to the kitchen. Since their first phone call, she and Gage had been sneaking calls and texts. “I struggled getting out of bed this morning, have been dragging all day. I didn’t realize last night that it was after two when we said good night.” She knew she needed to step back. They talked every day. She was getting too invested in whatever was going on between them, but she couldn’t stop herself. She liked it, whatever it was.
Gage stared at the bright blue Wal-Mart and spoke. “I did, too, was late picking up the guys.” His focus moved from the sign to his lap. Stealing moments together had begun to affect their lives, but neither seemed to care. Their connection had become a drug, both waiting for the next fix. Hence the reason for Gage dropping his men off and parking in the back of the lot of the store. He looked up and watched families entering and exiting the store, smiles on their faces. “Jesus, Till, what the fuck is going on with us?”
Tilly’s felt a rush of nerves at his question because she’d been asking herself the same one. “I don’t know, Gage. A part of me knows we need to stop, but there’s a bigger part of me that doesn’t want to. I enjoy you too much.”
Gage took a hefty breath. “I don’t think I could stop.”
Before Tilly could answer, she heard Ashley. “Mom! Where are you? The water is boiling over. Yesterday, you burned the cookies and now… Are you playing that game?”
“Oh shit. I gotta go.” Tilly rushed out. “I was making dinner, but got sidetracked. It was a good diversion, though.”
“Go, sweetheart. I’ll text you later.” Gage told her, even though he didn’t want to end the call.
“Mom!” Ashley shouted, her voice sounding closer this time.
Tilly rushed out, “I think he’s working late again.”
“There you are!” Gage heard the young girl’s voice come through the phone right before the line went dead.
_______________
Gage leaned against the bathroom stall door and typed out.
Looks like I’m gonna be later than expected. Hope you’re still up when I get home. I miss you.
He tucked his cell back into his back pocket and rejoined his wife and his parents at the table of their favorite restaurant.
_______________
Tilly walked through the market, leaving her kids in the seasonal aisle, surrounded by a dentist’s dream…Halloween candy. They had their own shopping cart, and though she’d already gotten their candy, she knew they were loading the cart with more.
She reached for her phone, took a picture of the bag of coffee, one that Gage drank like water. It was just coffee, but it was the coffee he drank and one she planned to start drinking herself...another connection they could share. It was silly, but she found when it came to him, she wanted more. In the very back of her mind, a fantasy played. One she didn’t dwell on because with how she felt, that fantasy wouldn’t stay in the back of her mind for long.
I found it. Maybe I’ll share your addiction. She hesitated before she added, It would be nice to share a cup in person, but it wouldn’t be the coffee I’d get addicted to.
She slipped her phone back in her purse and went to find her kids.
_______________
Gage leaned against his work truck, eyes focused on the small screen as he typed out.
You think you could fake being sick? Or too much?
Gage knew deep down what he was asking was stepping over the line. She had told him weeks ago about the girls’ night out she had planned, but the closer the day grew, he didn’t want to share her with her friends… or anyone.
Tilly smiled at his message before replying.
Woke up with terrible cramps. Already cancelled. Though my period isn’t due for another week. : )
Before a huge smile spread across Gage’s face, the knot in his gut disappeared.
_______________
Gage stood in front of the mirror with his cell held up, pointing to his reflection. He snapped a pic and sent it to their thread. Putting the phone to his ear, he told her, “I sent it. Your turn.” They had a night of no interruptions and were sharing what they were wearing to bed that night.
Tilly opened his pic, and her breath caught. It did every time she saw his body. He was only wearing gray boxer briefs, the black waistband hanging low on his hips, his abs on display. How badly she wanted to run her hands down his body. To feel those muscles respond to her touch. She felt a twinge of guilt. Standing in her bathroom with the door locked, she knew she shouldn’t be doing it, but the way she felt around him, how he made her feel, she couldn’t stop.
“I want to touch you,” she whispered.
Gage let out a low grumbled, “Fuck.” And the thought of Tilly’s hands on him had his cock growing. “I so fucking want that, too.”
Tilly only replied with a pained exhale. “I’ll send you your pic. One sec.”
She held out her hand, her night shirt riding up her thighs as she did. The scoop neckline sat low, showing off a fair amount of cleavage. It was tempting to put on some of her black lace lingerie that was so sheer it was like wearing nothing, but her husband would wonder. And just thinking that, this had to stop, but she didn’t want to stop. Snapping a pic, she sent it to Gage.
“I sent it.”
“Okay,” Gage muttered, opening their texting thread and staring at the image of Tilly. He saved every pic she had sent to him. Tucked away in a folder in his files. And as many times over the weeks they had shared images of themselves, his hands itched everytime to touch her. His lips burned to kiss her. “Jesus, I wanna touch you.” He admitted in a raspy voice.
Tilly couldn’t hold back the moan at the thought, her body ached imagining his hands moving up her thighs, his mouth following. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Gage. I don’t know when it shifted, or if we were heading this way from the beginning, but I can’t stop thinking about you, and lately, it’s thoughts I know I shouldn’t be having, but God, I want your hands on me, your mouth...I want you.”
Gage’s voice was low, deep, and filled with need. “Fuck, Tilly, I want you. I’m thinking since our first call three weeks ago that something shifted. But to be fucking honest, the past seven weeks have been torture.”
Hearing he was feeling the intense shift as well, even knowing he was, Tilly replied, “For me, too.”
Gage slowly walked to his bed, whispering. “Lay on your bed, Tilly.” Gage followed his own instructions by laying on his side of the bed, making sure his eyes never drifted to his wife’s side.
Tilly walked on unsteady legs, her heart pounding in her throat, as she moved into her bedroom. It was late. The kids were asleep, and Luke wasn’t home. Her hand shook as she pulled back the comforter and climbed into bed.
“I’m shaking,” she whispered. “But not from nerves.”
“Lay on your back and bend y
our right knee,” Gage said as his hand slipped underneath the waistband of his boxers.
Tilly put her phone on speaker, the volume low, and rested it next to her on the pillow. She bent her knee and felt the cool air between her legs that sent a chill of anticipation down her spine. “I’m on my bed, my knee bent. Tell me what you’re doing.”
Gage let out a low growl. “I’m laying in bed, my hand stroking my cock. Fuck,” He groaned. “Picturing you, walking to the bed, climbing in… next to me.” There were a few beats of silence before Gage told her, “Touch yourself.”
“I already am,” she whispered, lifting her other knee, spreading her legs as her fingers moved through her wet folds. “I wish it was me stroking your cock.”
“I wish it was my hand between your legs, my fingers gliding through your wet pussy.” Gage paused, closed his eyes and pictured gazing into Tilly’s eyes as he slid a finger inside her. “Tell me how wet you are?”
“So wet.” She moaned as she sank a finger into her pussy, thinking about Gage stroking himself, thinking about her as he did. “I wish it was your fingers, your mouth.”
“Fuck, yes,” Gage uttered roughly. “I want to taste you.” His hand sliding along his cock was moving faster now.
Tilly worked her clit, pushed two fingers deep into her pussy thinking about Gage’s mouth on her. “It feels so good.” she groaned, “Tell me…”
Her bedroom door opened. Luke flipped on the lights, his focus drifted to his wife, thinking she was asleep, then froze seeing her hand between her legs. A grin curved his lips as he closed the door and locked it.
Tilly’s hand froze as did the rest of her. Her heart was pounding for an entirely different reason. Tears of shame burned her eyes, staring at her husband while listening to Gage’s heavy breathing. Guilt slammed into her, as she bit back a mortified sob. She’d been toeing the line with Gage for weeks, developing feelings she had no business feeling, getting attached to a man she had no claim on, and worse, was already claimed by another. It was almost poetic that she got caught on the night she stopped toeing the line and just crossed right over it. She was a terrible wife. No, she was a terrible person.
