by L. A. Fiore
Tilly reached for her wallet and started pulling out bills. It pained her, but she was done explaining herself to her best friend. “I’m not alone anymore, and I’m sorry you have a problem with that. A problem that despite how I found happiness, I’ve found it.”
Candice dropped her hand on top of Tilly’s. “I’m sorry.”
Tilly didn’t look at her, kept her gaze down because she was angry...a simmering anger that surprised her at the intensity.
“I am happy you are happy.”
Tilly’s focus shifted then, looking Candice right in the eyes. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want to hurt Luke. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but for the first time in my life, I’m doing something for me. You told me to be selfish. I’m taking your advice.”
“You love him.” There was a little awe in Candice’s voice. “I know you told me, but…” She sat back and let out a deep breath. “I thought maybe you were confusing sex with love, but you really love him.”
“I do. He makes me laugh, he, at times, makes me angry, and he can even make me cry, but he makes me feel alive, he makes me feel special, needed, wanted, and most importantly, I know I’m loved. If you found what I have, if Ashley or Justin found it, I would encourage you and them to go for it, even with the consequences, because what I feel when I’m with him is something worth fighting for.”
Candice studied her friend. “You’re not in love with Luke, are you?”
“No.” Tilly placed her wallet on the table and reached for her coffee. “I’m not, but I didn’t even realize it. Had I not met Gage, I might have never realized I wasn’t in love with my husband anymore. So caught up in the day to day, the routine of my life, the checklist of to-dos that I never stopped and took a breath and realized that I was just going through the motions. To reach old age only to learn your whole life passed you by and you missed it because you were so busy with keeping busy. Whatever happens, however this plays out, I’m not going through the motions with Gage. He gave me that, and so much more.”
Candice’s eyes were bright when she squeezed Tilly’s hand. “Then fight for him. I’ve got your back.”
_______________
Gage opened the back door, walking in, he was hit with Heather leaning against the kitchen counter, her hard eyes on him. “Where have you been?”
He dropped his keys in the little dish next to the cordless phone and played dumb. “What do you mean?” That day he’d spent with Tilly, a few hours in a hotel room, and then the rest of the day browsing through garden centers.
The problem was, the day had gotten away from them, something that had been happening as the weeks passed. Gage was missing more days at work than he was there, acting as if he was a bachelor with no rules. He even missed Scarlett’s friend’s birthday party just so he could spend the two hours Tilly could steal away from her family.
Heather crossed her arms over her chest. “For over a week, I’ve been home on time every night, ready to spend time with my husband, but…” She threw her arm’s out. “He’s never here!” She shouted that last part.
Gage stared at his wife, at a loss for words. Did he just do it? Ask for a divorce? Her blue eyes so heated, directed at him. Fuck. Before Tilly, he would have moved into her and fucked her hard against the counter. Now, he felt guilt even thinking that. That scared the shit out of him. This was his life. She was once his life.
“Are you just going to stand there?” She snapped, slapping her hand on the counter, causing Velvet to bark.
He looked down at the dog. When did she get a new collar? For fucks sake, he was even ignoring the dog. Bringing his eyes back to Heather, he told he softly, “I’m not happy.”
Heather’s expression quickly changed. The sadness that replaced the anger had Gage taking a step toward her. She held a hand up. “No.” He stopped. “What do you mean, you’re not happy?”
Gage glanced to the floor before he leveled his eyes on her. “We’ve grown apart, Heather, anyone can see that. We both want different things now and—”
Heather pushed off the counter, closing the distance between them. Her hands gripped the sides of his jacket. “We can find us again. I know I said I would try, and I didn’t. But,” Her eyes filled with tears, “I’ll do it this time, Gage. Please, honey.”
Gage put his hands on his wife’s biceps, holding them snuggly. “I think too much time has gone by Heather and—”
“No,” her voice broke. “No, don’t say that.”
“Heather.” Gage said softly.
“Please, Gage,” Heather pleaded, a vulnerability in her voice and pain behind her words and eyes.
Gage’s body grew warm, his own breathing became labored. Watching his wife breakdown at just the thought of him not being happy with their marriage, he couldn’t… couldn’t imagine what he’d do to her if he walked out the door. He questioned himself often if he was in love with her anymore, but that didn’t mean he didn’t love her. He did. Always would.
Gage moved his arms around her, holding her to him. Breathing in her scent brought back so many good memories. He started breathing deeply through his nose, holding his emotions at bay. He’d heard that breaking up your marriage was one of the hardest things to do, letting a person go that had always been there for you. Through thick and thin, standing by your side, fighting the fight with you. It hurt. More than Gage suspected it would.
He bent his head, pushing it into his wife’s neck. Clutching her to his body, listening to the faint cries coming from her, Gage gave into his emotions and let a tear escape.
“I love you,” Heather whispered through her tears, holding onto her husband.
Another tear fell as Gage told her. “I love you.” And, he did. He loved her. His head lifted, looking down at Heather as she wiped the wet from his cheek before rising up and placing her lips on his. It was only a second before Gage deepened the kiss. Roughly grabbing at her clothes, one by one, throwing them to the floor. Heather doing the same, pulling at his. That night, Gage gave his all to his wife, knowing it may be the last time. She just didn’t know it.
_______________
“Hey,” Dom greeted with no enthusiasm in his voice.
“You answered.”
Dom huffed, “Well, I figured since I’ve ignored three of your calls, I let you suffer enough. Plus, you are my boss.”
“Thanks,” Gage told him.
“For what?” Dom questioned, puzzled.
Gage looked out of his kitchen window and spoke. “Running things while I’ve been gone and—”
Dom spoke over him, “Not like there’s much on the schedule. Just finished the Beerman pond and scape around it. There’s nothing pressing on the calendar, just maintenance and me and the guys have that all handled. You know how the winter is.”
Gage did. Once the cooler weather came in, it was all about maintaining elaborate landscapes of certain clients. If the snow held off, they’d run a quick mow across the lawn before putting seed down before the blanket of snow covered it.
“Yeah,” Gage agreed and added, “But for keeping all this shit to yourself—”
“Stop.” Dom’s voice was firm. “Not my business anymore, man. Just gonna say one thing and one thing only, you need to figure out what the fuck you’re gonna do before you really start hurting people, Gage. It’s not fair, brother.”
Gage took a deep breath. “I know. I already told Heather I wasn’t happy and,” Gage paused, still staring out the back window seeing nothing, “After the holidays, I’m leaving her.”
“Fuck.” Dom bit out lowly.
“I,” Gage started but stopped. When he found his words, he began again, “I don’t love her like I used to.”
Dom’s voice was sympathetic, “I’m sorry, brother. I’m here if—”
“I know.”
“Good.”
_______________
Tilly stood by the back door, watching as Kenny’s crew turned her backyard into her vision. Three months ago, she was so excited for the change. But she realized that was why she’d been excited...because it was different, a change from the routine. Soon, she’d be telling her husband she wanted out. She had no idea if she’d even enjoy the fruits of the labor being developed in her backyard, but even if she didn’t, another would.
When she was with Gage, there was no fear, no nerves. She knew what they were doing was right. They may have gone about it wrong, but they were right. Facing Luke, telling him it was over, caused a knot in her stomach. She really had no idea how he was going to take the news. Her kids, they were old enough to understand the dynamic at home. No child wanted a broken home, but they were adding to the family, not taking away from it.
“How we doing?” Kenny asked, pulling Tilly from her thoughts when he strolled over to join her.
“It looks amazing,” Tilly answered honestly.
“Your vision,” Kenny said.
It was really Gage’s vision, one they had spoken about often when they were together, but that wasn’t something she shared with Kenny. He was still holding out that Gage would come around and join forces with him. When Gage and she could be open about their relationship, maybe Gage would rethink Kenny’s offer.
As if he was reading her thoughts, Kenny muttered, “We could be doing this on a bigger scale if Sutherlands reconsidered my offer.”
Tilly tried to avoid talking about Gage because she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t reveal more than she should know when it came to Gage.
“If not them, maybe another landscaping firm will be interested,” Tilly offered lamely.
“No other firm around here has the clientele that Sutherlands does. If I’m going to do this, I want him.” Kenny pulled a hand through his hair and turned to look at Tilly. “That McClaney project you’re working on. I’d like to show that to Gage. Let him see what he’s missing.”
Pride washed through her, but it was immediately chased with nerves. It was Pandora’s Box. Before she could try to steer Kenny to a different topic, she heard Luke’s voice seconds before he appeared at the door. A warning tickled her nape, even as surprise rushed through her. He approached Kenny, who offered his hand. Luke hesitated in taking it. Surprise was chased by irritation. How had she never seen the arrogance in her husband? Had it always been there or was this new?
“It’s looking good, Kenny.” Luke offered. He then turned to Tilly, pulled her close and kissed her forehead, but it felt less like a greeting and more like he was staking a claim. That warning grew, chills danced down her spine. Did he know about Gage? Was her secret out? Her mouth went dry, and her heart started to thump behind her ribcage.
With all the questions firing off in her head, the only words she managed were, “You’re home.”
Luke put his arm around her shoulders to keep her against his side. “This is important to you. I wanted to show interest too.”
They were words she’d long to hear from him, but now, she couldn’t help but wonder if they were genuinely meant or if there was more to them. Her hands grew damp, beads of sweat formed at her hairline.
“Good man,” Kenny said on a chuckle. “This was all Tilly. She hasn’t just got an eye for design, but the skill to bring it to life.”
Luke’s arm tightened around her shoulders as he smiled down at her. Was that pride in his expression?
Kenny continued, “In fact, she’s so good I was hoping to merge with another firm from the area. They have an incredible client base and with Tilly’s design skills…” Kenny pushed his hands into his pockets. “There’s no limit.”
She went numb, her heart no longer thumping but slamming into her ribs. Her head jerked to Kenny. He had that look, the one where he was feeling chatty. If Kenny mentioned Gage, would Luke remember Hershey?
“Really?” Luke said, looking down at Tilly. “You didn’t mention that.”
She hadn’t mentioned it for countless reasons: Luke’s disinterest in her work, his annoyance that work took her away from her motherly duties, but the biggest reason was Gage Sutherland. Even just talking about him, she knew she’d give herself away.
“She’s humble,” Kenny said. “But she’s amazing.”
“I think maybe I need to pay more attention, huh?” Luke said. He squeezed Tilly. “I’ve been kinda absent, babe, haven’t I?”
Tilly could hear her heart pounding in her ears. It was like Luke had been cloned, physically, they got him right, but everything else was wrong...off. Her fear grew that her secret was out, her stomach churning so badly she thought she might just toss up her lunch. Her voice was a bit hoarse when she said, “You’re busy.”
“That I am, but I can make time for my wife and her career,” Luke said, causing Tilly’s jaw to almost drop, hearing those words coming from his mouth. Luke turned his focus on Kenny. “So what firm were you thinking about teaming up with?”
“Sutherlands...they’re located—”
“Boss, we need you over here,” One of his workers called.
Tilly’s legs went weak, as her brain frantically searched for a way to distract Luke. She reached for his hand. “Since you’re home and interested, would you like to see some of my designs now?”
“Yeah, but after,” he said with a grin.
Now her legs were weak for an entirely different reason. He was her husband, she’d wanted this from him for so long, but now the thought of sex with him… she felt like she was cheating and if that didn’t make her a big fucking hypocrite.
“The kids will be home soon.” She tried to discourage, but Luke was determined.
“Then we’ll have to be quick, won’t we?” Luke went to the back door, flipped the lock and pulled her to their room.
They say be careful what you wish for. She had wished once for spontaneity from her husband, wanted what she’d once had with him, but finding that now when her heart belonged to another hurt like hell.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Gage held the phone to his ear, his steps steady and quick as he was running late.
“Can we go tomorrow night?” He asked his daughter.
She let out an audible huff. “But you said we’d go tonight.”
“I know, Letty,” he said softly and lied, “But I have a meeting and—”
She cut him off, her tone firm. “Since when do you have meetings?”
Gage stepped up onto the curb of the school and stopped. Looking to the ground, he ran a hand through his hair. “There’s a guy who wants to merge companies, I’m meeting him.”
“Oh,” Scarlett drawled. “That’s kinda cool, Dad.”
The excitement in her voice sliced. He wasn’t lying; Kenny had wanted to merge companies, but he’d already made the decision not to. Gage looked up and watched the last of the people in the parking lot walking quickly through the double doors. “Tomorrow night, you, me and new sneakers, okay?”
“Okay, Dad,” she said gently. “Good luck.”
That slice, opened and started to burn when he told her. “Thanks, Letty. Love you.”
“Love you.”
He disconnected the call and moved to the double doors. Once inside the foyer, he spotted the large wooden door where everyone was entering; he headed in that direction. Breaking the threshold, his eyes roamed the area. He caught the back of Tilly’s head in the third row and milled through the crowd to the right side of the auditorium. He stood in the back corner, leaning against the wall and putting a foot to the painted concrete blocks. He tapped at the screen on his phone.
Turn around. ;)
He hit send, looked up from the screen and watched Tilly.
Tilly checked her watch. Another concert Luke was missing. Justin was next to her, head in his phone, but
at least he’d come to see Ashley’s concert. Her phone buzzed, and her heart jumped for Ashley. Maybe Luke was able to get away. What a surprise that would be for her. She reached for her phone and seeing it was a text from Gage, she couldn’t help the smile. Then she read it and her heart dropped. Like a wave, her body went numb. Her hands shook. Her head whipped around, her eyes zeroing in on the figure in the corner. Even shrouded in shadows, she’d know that body anywhere. She quickly turned back around, her eyes darting around the auditorium. Were people watching? Did they know who he was? She glanced over at Justin, his focus was still on his phone. Her heart was like a jackhammer. Somewhere deep down, she knew she was being paranoid, but her fear was genuine. She typed the first words that ran through her mind.
You’re here?
Gage’s smile fell when he saw the look on Tilly’s face when her head snapped back to look at him. When he saw her head lower, her hands moving over her phone, he waited. As soon as her message came in, he felt an uncomfortable squeeze in his chest.
Of course, it’s important to you, so it’s important to me. Plus, I thought I could steal you for a few minutes. ;)
Tilly read his text. She’d be lying if she said the idea of stealing a few minutes away with Gage wasn’t exactly what she needed, but Jesus, he was here, at her daughter’s Christmas concert. What if Luke showed up?
I love the idea of stealing some time, but a heads up would have been nice. What if Luke was here?
Gage read her message and looked up to the spot she was sitting, she was turned in her seat, eyes to him. He shrugged his shoulders in apology. She gave a small smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes. She was pissed. He hadn’t given it much thought when he drove the two hours to be at her daughter’s Christmas concert. Maybe he should have. At one point during the drive, it should have dawned on him what he was doing was not only crossing the line, but putting them both in a position to get caught.
He smiled back at her, but when he caught sight of a man weaving through the people sitting beside her, his face dropped. The look on his face had Tilly cocking her head before she jerked it to the person who had touched her shoulder.
