by E. L. Todd
“Like what?”
“Sexual things.”
“Not really.”
“And what does that mean?”
“I told you I was a virgin.”
“Has a guy ever fingered you?”
“Yes.”
The jealousy flashed across his eyes. “Has a guy ever eaten you out?”
“No.”
His anger dimmed.
“Have you ever given head?”
“No.”
He nodded. “Excellent.”
“Why is that good? I’m totally inexperienced. You’ll have to show me everything.”
“I don’t mind in the least. I’ll teach you well, baby.”
I felt my cheeks blush.
“Have you ever given a hand job?”
“Yes.”
His eyes narrowed but he didn’t comment. “Have you ever had a serious boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
The jealousy returned. “How long and why did it end?”
I was surprised by the sound of his voice. He almost sounded angry. “For almost a year. It just didn’t work out.”
“And why not?”
Now I felt uncomfortable. This was a topic I didn’t want to discuss. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You just said I could ask you anything.”
“And I meant it.”
“Did he do something to you?”
I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind. “Please drop it, Ethan.”
He stared at me for a moment. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
I sighed in relief.
“Did you love him?”
At one point, I thought I did. Or at least I hoped I did. When I thought back on our relationship, I was convinced I never did. “No.”
He took a deep breath. “Good.”
I trickled my hand down his arm. “Same questions.”
He stared into my eyes while he glided his fingers through my hair. “I’ve done everything you can possibly think of, even a little bondage. I’ve never loved anyone before. I don’t have any ex-girlfriends, just women that I have casual sex with it.” His voice held no emotion. It was like he was giving a report.
“So, you just ask them to come over and you have sex, no strings attached?”
He nodded.
“How many women have you slept with?”
He shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you.”
“And why does my brother hate you so much? I understand why, but I don’t understand why that would get under his skin so bad.”
Ethan sighed. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I highly doubt that I could. I’m sleeping with you.”
“I’ve slept with most of the women at work. I pretended that I cared about them until I got what I wanted. Then I ignored them and acted like they didn’t exist. I even told them I loved them. I’ve slept with married women, women who are in relationships, and even women with kids.” He shook his head. “I’m an asshole, Sadie.”
“Well, that’s all behind you, right?”
He kissed my forehead. “It’s far behind me.”
“Why were you so against relationships?”
“I don’t know. It just gets boring. I liked sleeping around. I didn’t ever sleep with the same women twice unless they were exceptional in bed. Those are the ones that I’d call for casual sex. One of them is in love with me, but I’ve never cared for her.”
It surprised me how cold he was about the whole thing. He really was an asshole. I believed that he really changed. At least, I hoped he did. “And you aren’t doing the same thing to me?”
His face fell in despair. “It hurts me that you would even ask, Sadie. I never would have met your father if I didn’t care about you. And I definitely would have taken your virginity at the first opportunity if I didn’t lo—care about you.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“You better. I don’t do sleepovers with women but I love sleeping with you. And I wouldn’t put up with your brother if I wasn’t committed to you. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I would do anything to be with you. And I don’t want you to sleep with anyone else. The best way to make sure that happens is if I satisfy you.”
“I love having sex, Ethan—a lot. But I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed it so much if it weren’t with you.” I trailed my fingers down his chest and felt his muscles.
He grabbed my hand and kissed my fingers. “You know how to make me smile.”
I pressed his head next to mine and ran my fingers through his hair. It was slightly curly at the ends. “Does my brother bother you at work?”
He laughed. “No, but he watches me like a hawk. That guy is determined to catch me in the act.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I really don’t mind. The more he pays attention to me, the more he’ll be convinced that I really care about you. I have nothing to hide from him.”
That made me very happy. The idea of Ethan talking or flirting with anyone else made my heart ache. I didn’t want him to be around anyone but me. I was starting to become just as jealous and possessive as he was.
“Let’s take Koku on a walk at the park tomorrow,” he said.
At the sound of the word ‘walk,’ Koku’s ears picked up and he whined.
I rolled my eyes. “You can’t say that word around him.”
“He recognizes it?” he asked with a smile.
“You have to use the code word.”
“Which is?”
“Klaw.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“It’s walk backwards.”
He nodded his understanding. “I see.”
Koku continued to whine.
“I’m sorry, honey. Maybe tomorrow.”
He whined again then curled up in a ball.
Ethan smiled. “I like your dog.”
“He’s pretty cute.”
“So, what do you say? We can make a picnic out of it. The summer is disappearing. We won’t have nice weather much longer.”
I wanted to say yes but I already had plans. I couldn’t blow them off. The girls would hunt me down and kill me. “I can’t.”
His tried to keep the disappointment out of his face but he wasn’t very good at it. “Oh?”
“I have plans.”
“What are these plans?”
“I’m hanging out with Natascia and Stephanie.”
He nodded. “And what will you ladies be doing?”
“We’re going out for drinks.”
His eyes narrowed. “At a bar?”
“I would assume so.”
“Why do you have to go to a bar?” He sounded angry.
I shrugged. “They picked.”
“Which one are you going to?”
I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know yet.”
“What time?”
“Uh, seven.”
“Let me know where you’re going when you find out.”
“Why?”
“I just want to know.”
I felt the anger burst from my chest. “You are free to do whatever you want and so am I. I can go out with my friends whenever I want and you can just shut the fuck up and deal with it. You will trust me. Either you do, or were over. That’s it.
He ran his fingers through his hair for a moment while he sighed. I knew he was irritated with me but I really didn’t give a shit. I liked his possessiveness and his obsession with me, but this was too much. I wouldn’t let him boss me around, dictating where I go. “So what is the reason for this event? Me?”
I laughed. “They want to know all the dirt.”
“And what will you tell them?”
“The truth.”
“That you lost your virginity to me?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think they’ll dislike me like your brother does?”
“I don’t know. But I don’t care if they do. I want to be with you, Ethan.”
“That gives me some peace of mind
.”
“It should.”
He pulled me to his chest. “Can I sleep here tonight?”
“I always want you to sleep with me.”
“You do?”
I nodded.
“Okay.”
“Will you?”
“As long as I’m welcome.”
“You know, I’ve never seen your apartment.”
“It’s not much to look at.”
“It must be nice. I know you make good money.”
“You’re welcome to come over whenever you like, but like I said, it isn’t much to look at. I can cook you dinner this week.”
“You cook?”
“I know a few things.”
“That sounds nice.”
I placed my head in the crook of his neck and breathed in his scent. He always smelled amazing. His phone went off a few times but he never reached for it. It vibrated on the table and made a loud noise. Koku’s ear perked up.
“Are you going to grab that?” I asked.
“No. I don’t care who it is.”
I said nothing.
“The only person I want to talk to is right here.”
Koku got up and moved closer to us.
Ethan smiled. “And Koku.”
His phone went off again and it made me flinch. “Well, it sounds like someone is trying to get a hold of you.”
He sighed then grabbed the phone. Where I was lying in his arms, I could see the screen. There were messages from girls: Whitney, Jenna, and Abby. I didn’t like looking at the words.
Ethan deleted the messages then returned his phone to the nightstand. I immediately felt uncomfortable. I knew what those girls wanted.
Ethan picked up on the tension. “You have nothing to worry about. I’ll text them tomorrow and tell them I’ve settled down.”
“Will they still text you?”
“I don’t see why.”
I said nothing.
He rubbed his nose against mine. “You can trust me, Sadie. If I wanted to be with them, I wouldn’t be sleeping with you. And I wouldn’t have slept with you last night. There isn’t a single woman in the world who can rival you. I’m yours.”
“Since you’re a crazy asshole, I can be a jealous bitch.”
He laughed. “Yes, you have every right to.”
“I don’t want you talking to them anymore.”
“Done.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t want you talking to guys that you used to sleep with.”
I smiled triumphantly.
He kissed me on the head. “There’s nothing to worry about. I won’t hurt you, baby. You can relax now.”
I snuggled next to him and felt my mind fall. I was in heaven.
10
I went to my doctor’s appointment the next morning and got the birth control. I felt slightly awkward at the time. I wasn’t married and the doctor knew that I wasn’t. A part of me felt like a whore, but when I remembered being with Ethan, I realized I didn’t care. I liked having sex with him. It was the most enjoyable experience I’ve ever had.
I went to work for a few hours with my dad. A group of tourists came in and bought a few books. My dad stayed in his office for most of the day while I ran the register. When we paid bills at the end of the month, he usually stayed away from me. He was always stressed out about money. The shop was successful but we didn’t make a lot of profit. Our funds covered the rent of the building and our apartments—that’s it.
When I came home from work, I wanted to call Ethan but I decided I shouldn’t. I missed him all the time and I felt like a crazy person. When I asked him to stop talking to those girls permanently, I felt like I was overreacting. But when he agreed, I was ecstatic. A part of me wondered if he was just telling me what I wanted to hear, but I knew he wouldn’t lie to me. He said he wouldn’t. And he was always with me. If he was off with someone else, I would have noticed. But then doubt plagued me. What if he grew bored with me then just left? What if he realized that he didn’t want a relationship after all? The idea made me want to cry. I was already so in love with him. I couldn’t imagine losing him.
I went home when my shift was over. After I showered and started getting dressed, my phone vibrated. When I looked at it, I smiled. It was Ethan.
“Hey,” I said happily.
“Hey, baby. How was your day?”
“It was okay. Nothing too exciting happened.”
“Did you go to the doctor?”
“Yeah.”
“And how did that go?”
“Good. I have the prescription.”
“You started taking it, right?”
I could hear the excitement in his voice. “Yes.”
“How long do I have to wait before I don’t have to pull out anymore?”
“A week.”
He groaned. “That seems like forever.”
“It’ll be over before you know it.”
“So, what bar are you going to?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“You don’t know?” His voice became angry almost instantly.
“Well, I haven’t asked them.”
“Tell me as soon as you find out.”
I didn’t understand why it mattered. “Why?”
“I just want to know, Sadie.”
I sighed. “Okay. But I’m going no matter what. I told you I won’t let you control me like a crazy asshole.”
“I remember what you said. And thank you for telling me where you’re going.”
“What are your plans tonight?”
“Nothing too exciting.”
I wondered if he had broken it off with those women. “Did you tell them?”
“Yes,” he said quickly. “I asked them not to contact me anymore.”
“And what did they say?”
He laughed. “I thought I was the jealous one.”
“What did they say?” I repeated.
“They teased me for a while. Another one started crying.”
“Was that the one in love with you?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“And they’ll leave you alone?”
“What does it matter, baby? You’re the only one I want.”
“What does it matter if Alex tries to sleep with me?”
He growled. “I understand your point. They’ll leave me alone, Sadie. Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay.”
“I like it when you get possessive.”
“I’m not.”
He laughed. “Okay,” he said sarcastically.
“I’m not. I just don’t want women calling my boyfriend, asking him to fuck them. It’s not unreasonable.”
“If you say so.”
I didn’t want to stop talking to him, but I knew I had to get ready. “I should go.”
He sighed. “Text me as soon as you know what bar you’re going to. I mean it.”
“Okay.”
“Have a good time, baby.”
“I will.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” I hung up the phone. I missed him so much and I just saw him. I felt like a lovestruck teenager. I finished getting ready and texted Natascia, asking where we were going. When she answered, I texted Ethan and told him the name of the bar. I didn’t understand why it mattered. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure it wasn’t a sleezy place where there was a bunch of crime or shootings. I really didn’t know. He didn’t tell me not to go, which I was grateful. Otherwise I was going to slap that crazy asshole. I knew he was just looking out for me. I guess I would have to get used to his protection and he would have to grow accustomed to my resistance.
I left the apartment and took a cab to the bar. When I walked inside, Natascia and Stephanie were already sitting down. I hugged each of them before I took my seat.
“What are you wearing?” Natascia asked.
I looked down at my jeans and my white blouse. “What’s wrong with it?”
“Why aren’t you wearing a
dress?”
“I’m cold.”
Stephanie rolled her eyes. “You’re always cold.”
“So why would I wear a dress?” I snapped.
“Whatever,” Natascia said. “Now tell us about Ethan. What happened?”
My face broke out in a smile. Thinking about him gave me butterflies in my stomach. “We’re together.”
“Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” Stephanie asked.
I nodded.
“But you just met the guy,” Natascia said.
I sighed. “And I’m already in love with him.”
“Are you serious?” Natascia asked. “Talk about jumping the gun. Did you sleep with him too?”
I smiled.
Stephanie covered her face. “Oh my god! You finally did it.”
“And I loved it,” I said with a smile.
Natascia held up her hand. “Wait, this is way too fast. What about Alex?”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t like Alex. I never have.”
“But he loves you,” Natascia said. “And you actually know him. You just met this guy.”
“And I know how I feel. I love Ethan. He’s the one.”
Stephanie’s face broke out in a grin. “That’s so cute.”
Natascia shook her head. “I don’t want you to jump into this too quickly. You’re only going to get hurt.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “And it’s worth the risk.”
Natascia sighed. “I hope so.”
I wanted to change the subject from Ethan. “So, have you told your parents yet?” I asked Natascia.
Stephanie ignored me. “So how was he in bed?”
My cheeks reddened. “Good.”
“What does he look like under that suit?” Natascia asked.
I was turning a darker shade of red. “Yum.”
Stephanie laughed. “He’s gorgeous. I can understand why Sadie fell for him. I would do him.”
“Well, he’s mine,” I said quickly.
She laughed. “I’ll back off.”
Natascia looked at me. “So, how did the writing jobs go?”
I sighed. She was always hammering me to pursue my writing career. I always found an excuse not to do it. “I applied to a few jobs.”
“And did you get anything?”
“No.”
“Did they call you to tell you that?” she asked.
“Uh, no.”
Her eyes turned angry. “So, you didn’t call to follow up on your application?”
“Well, no.”
Natascia shook her head. “This has gone on long enough. I know you don’t want to leave your dad alone, but you have to move on, Sadie. You didn’t graduate from an Ivy league school to work as a store clerk.”
