by A. M. Myers
This Ain’t Love
BDMC: Second Generation
Book One
A.M. Myers
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Names, characters, places and plots are a product of the author’s imagination. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Cover Design by Daqri Bernardo
Proofreading by Julie Deaton
Copyright © 2021 by A.M. Myers
First Edition
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Chapter One
Isabelle
“Five,” I whisper under my breath, my leg bouncing like crazy under the table as a flutter of something dances through my belly, making it twist. I can never quite figure out if it’s nerves, excitement, or a mixture of both, but there is a part of me that loves the feeling, craves it even. This is me, totally in my element, and on my days off, I miss this moment right here where I’m sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for the red “on air” light to flash on. We’ve been doing this show together five nights a week for the past two and a half years and I still experience the same rush each and every time they begin the countdown. It’s like nothing else and I would even say it’s as good as sex… you know, if I’d lost my mind.
My gaze flicks to Casey, my board operator, as he stares back at me from the other side of the glass and counts down on his fingers to the moment we go live again. Licking my lips, I take a deep breath and close my eyes. A calm rushes over me, washing away any bit of nervousness that was thrumming through my body and leaving pure anticipation in its wake as I open my eyes again. I glance over to the corner of the room where a video camera is mounted on a tripod and pointed in my direction. Our camera operator, Lou, gives me a thumbs up and I offer him a smile as I settle back into my seat.
When I first started working here, this was strictly a radio show but six months ago, our boss, Aiden, in his infinite wisdom decided to record a few episodes and put them up on our website to lure in new listeners. And boy, did it. None of us expected it to blow up the way it did but the reaction was overwhelming and the station made the decision to live stream all of our shows. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t a fan at first. Then, I saw the way it added another element to our program - made them richer and more interactive as we answered questions from people in real time instead of making them call in to the show to speak to us and if the latest numbers are anything to go by, the people love it. Although, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to getting recognized in public. That shit is just trippy.
I glance back at Casey as he points to me, the signal that my microphone just went live as the on-air light flicks on in front of me. I smile as I lean into the mic and speak to the thousands of people listening in tonight from all over the country.
“And we’re back! If you’re just tuning in... where in the hell have you been?”
Stella, my co-host, laughs. “That’s right. You’ve missed one hell of a good time. I’m Stella and…”
“I’m Izzy,” I cut in, relaxing back into my chair as I pull my mic along with me. Stella does the same, flashing me a grin as we ease back into our groove. Stella and I have gotten along so well since the moment Aiden introduced us to each other despite being complete opposites but I believe that’s what makes it work. She and I can bounce off each other, serve up questions to the other if it’s better suited for them and finish each other’s damn sentences sometimes. I’m definitely the bolder, louder one but Stella’s got a little bit of wild child in her, too, and it makes my job so damn fun. “And you’re listening to The Big O - the raunchy late night radio show all about sex and dating. We’re talking bad dates tonight and we’ve got time for a few more callers, don’t you think, Stella?”
“Yeah, I think we can squeeze a couple more in,” she answers, nodding as she presses one of the buttons on the keypad in front of her that controls the phone. “Welcome to The Big O, what’s your name?”
“Hi, I’m Marie.”
“Hey there, Marie,” I say, scribbling her name on the paper in front of me so I don’t forget it. “What have you got for us tonight?”
She sighs. “Well, I’m calling with an awful first date story, obviously.”
“We already feel your pain, Marie,” Stella says and I bite my lip to keep from laughing at the pity etched across her face. Stella is a total romantic, unlike me, so when she goes out with a man, she’s looking for Mister Right and she feels so bad for any of our callers that have to go through these awful dating stories whereas I love them because it gives me a chance to let the insults and jokes fly. Not that I don’t feel bad for them, too, but I just show it differently, I guess. “Hit us with it.”
I nod. “And don’t sugar coat anything, Marie. Give us all the dirty details.”
“All right,” she answers with a laugh. “You asked for it.”
“Ooh, that sounds ominous. Now I’m all excited,” I reply as I rub my hands together and shoot Stella a smile but she just rolls her eyes at me. “First, let’s start off with his name.”
“Oh… I don’t think I want to use his name.”
I lean forward in my chair and lower my voice. “Marie, sweetie… did this boy give you an orgasm? You can tell me. It’s just us girls here.”
“Uh… no.” She laughs and my grin grows.
“Then don’t be afraid to publicly name and shame, girl. How else is he supposed to know that he’s not getting the job done?”
Stella laughs, shaking her head at me as she leans into her mic again. “It’s okay, Marie. You don’t have to use his name if you don’t want to.”
This is why Stella and I work so well together. She adds a sincerity to the show that I’m not sure I could provide. Besides, whenever someone calls in with a legitimate relationship question, she usually fields those since I tend to avoid intimacy at all costs.
“Okay, fine,” I groan, being dramatic as usual and rolling my eyes. “We’ll just call him… Troy.”
Stella flashes me a grin. Everyone here at the station as well as anyone who has listened to our show for more than a week knows all about Troy. My best friend, Ali, met Troy a few years back and he took her out on one date so bad that I had to fake an emergency to get her out of there. Of course, this was before she met her husband and started popping out babies but now, whenever someone calls into the show and doesn’t want to name the guy who did them wrong, we just call him Troy.
Marie laughs. “Troy it is then.”
I nod. “Take it away, Marie. Tell us what happened with Troy.”
“Right,” she sighs and I can’t help but feel a little excited because I can already tell that it’s going to be a good one. Not that I’d wish misery on poor Marie or anything. “So, I joined this new gym about six months ago and on my second trip there, I spotted Troy working out across from me. He was fucking sexy as hell and I always caught him checking me out when he thought I wasn’t looking but I could never work up the courage to just walk over and talk to him.”
“How hot was he? Give me some reference here.”
She laughs. “Uh, like movie star hot. He had these golden-brown eyes, beachy blond hair, and his body was incredible but not too many muscles, you know?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m getting a v
ery clear picture now, Marie. Continue.”
“Anyway, that went on for a while, with both of us just sneaking glances at each other when the other wasn’t looking and let me tell you, my imagination was going crazy. I made him into my perfect guy in my head before I ever said a word to the man.”
I wince as I listen to her story, all too familiar with the situation she’s describing.
“So, about a month after I first saw him, I’m standing in front of the mirrors and doing some squats and he just walks right up to me and introduces himself. He told me he was a trainer at the gym before telling me how I could get better results from my workout by tweaking a few things. At first, I thought maybe he was just trying to add another client to his roster but afterward, we started talking and let me tell you, he was even better than the version of him I had in my head. He was sweet and funny but still had a little bit of a mysterious side…”
I nod. “Oh, we do like a mysterious man, don’t we? But since you’re calling in with an awful first date story and not a wild night of sex story, I assume this is going to take a turn, cause right now it sounds like a dream come true, Marie.”
“Oh, yeah… it took a turn,” she answers, a bite in her voice now and I meet Stella’s eyes as she arches a brow.
“Tell us what happened, Marie. I’m on the edge of my seat.”
“We ended up talking until the gym closed and as he walked me to my car, he asked me out. We made plans to meet up for drinks the next night and I was thrilled. But when I showed up at the bar for our date, he was a completely different person - rude to everyone around us, condescending, and on top of all that, dull as hell. He spent most of the night talking and didn’t even let me get a word in but I couldn’t tell you what he was going on about. Honestly, I was so bored that I sat at the bar and had a vivid fantasy about hooking up with the bartender in the back room.”
“Marie, please tell me that’s what you did,” Stella pleads, a faux desperation on her face and I shake my head.
“No, honey. Please tell me you let that bartender fuck you on top of the bar in front of Troy so he could see what he was missing.”
Stella chokes on a sip of water and looks up at me with incredulous eyes. I don’t know why she’s acting so damn shocked though. That’s not even the most outrageous thing I’ve ever said on air.
“What?”
“Jesus, Iz… that’s brutal.”
I shrug. “It’s what I would have done.”
And that’s the damn truth. I have one simple rule when it comes to sex and dating - don’t get attached.
I don’t do relationships.
I don’t do feelings.
And if a man is boring me to death, I have no qualms about dropping him in a heartbeat. Life is too damn short to suffer through shitty dates and bad sex. If I had been in Marie’s shoes, I wouldn’t have waited around for the date to end just to be polite and if the bartender was hot, I absolutely would have used him for my benefit. No use letting a perfectly good night or a Brazilian wax go to waste, I say.
“Sadly, no… but I was so fucking worked up from my little daydream that I let Troy take me home in a moment of lust filled weakness,” Marie says, cutting into my thoughts and I suck in a breath as my eyes widen.
“Oh, girl.”
“I know, Izzy. I knew it was a mistake as I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was thinking about all the dirty things I had imagined the bartender doing to me and I needed relief so I let him take me back to his place.”
I gasp. “Honey, that is what vibrators are for. Now, granted, they don’t get the job done quite like a man who knows what he’s doing but…”
“I honestly wish I had thought of that but I didn’t.”
“Okay,” I sigh, shaking my head. “Hit me with it, Marie. How bad was the sex?”
She lets out a humorless laugh. “Oh, God, so awful… he was so grabby and pawed at me like some kind of animal. Not to mention, that he used too much damn tongue… everywhere… and I mean everywhere. I was covered in his saliva and it felt more like I was with a St. Bernard than a man. I laid there, staring at his ceiling fan and praying for a meteor to smash into his building so it would just be over.”
“Oof. I knew where that story was going but I still wasn’t ready for the kick to the crotch I got as you described your encounter with him. That’s a damn crime.”
“But it gets worse,” Marie adds.
“How?” Stella asks, her eyes wide in horror as she tries to imagine how the worst sex of Marie’s life could have gotten any worse. I have a hard time seeing how things could have devolved from there either but stranger things have happened.
“He passed out shortly after he was finished and I guess he expected me to just spend the night but as soon as the coast was clear, I ran out of there so fast that I forgot one of my damn shoes. He spent the next three days calling me constantly, asking when he could see me again and I dodged all of his calls…”
“As you should!”
“But, a week later, he moved into my building. We ran into each other in the lobby and I had to tell him that I wasn’t interested in seeing him again.”
Stella holds up a hand. “Hold up. I have to take a second to just make sure you’re okay. Like, first the constant phone calls and then he just moves into your building… this guy isn’t stalking you, right?”
“No, nothing like that. He was already planning to move before we even met and he had no clue where I lived. It was just an unfortunate coincidence,” Marie explains and I shake my head in disbelief.
“So, you’re moving then?” I supply, hoping she’ll say yes, but I have a feeling that won’t be the case. I have no clue what the hell I would do if I was in her shoes. It’s why I’m always straightforward with the guys I go out with. They know from the start that I’m only using them for sex and the second they start showing signs of falling for me or getting too attached, they’ll never see me again. I also have no issue with hurting someone’s feelings to get my point across.
“No. I still have four months on my lease.”
Stella shakes her head. “So, you just have to suffer through this until then?”
“It’s a little better now. He mostly leaves me alone these days but whenever we run into each other in the hallway or something, he glares at me and calls me a bitch under his breath.”
“Girl,” Stella whispers into the mic, her eyes wide as she imagines being in Marie’s place and I nod in agreement. It’s an awful situation and I honestly feel for the girl. Releasing a sigh, I mute Marie’s call so we can move on to whatever we have next as I lean into the mic.
“Damn. That story might be one of the worst ones we’ve heard on here but I hope like hell you’re going to move as soon as your lease is up. I couldn’t imagine the stress of running into this guy all the time.”
“I would even pay to cancel the lease early. It’s not worth the drama,” Stella says and I nod.
“Agreed. Marie, go get yourself a drink and find a man who will make you come like a broken fire hydrant, okay? Pro-tip, ladies, here’s how you can tell if a man is going to be good in bed. Let’s say, you’re out at the club, dancing with him, right? Ask him to do a body roll. I promise you if he can’t, there is no way in hell he has the hip control required to give you the orgasm you need.”
“Nay,” Stella interjects. “The orgasm you deserve.”
I nod. “Exactly.”
“Looks like we have time for one last question from the live stream,” Stella says, staring down at the tablet in front of her and her eyes widen as she fights back a smile and looks up at me. “John says, ‘what the fuck is a body roll?’.”
I snort. “Oh, John… are you Troy from Marie’s story? It’s okay, you can be honest.”
“Want to take this question, Iz?” Stella asks and I nod, flashing her a wide smile as my mind races with different ways I could respond to this guy.
“Oh, you know I do but first, can we just talk about what a
boring ass name John is to scream out during sex? It makes you wonder how guys like Tim or Bob ever get laid,” I crack and Stella leans away from the mic as she laughs. “Can you just imagine?”
“No, I can’t.”
“Oooh, Bob,” I fake moan, closing my eyes for a moment before opening them again and shaking my head. “Serious mood killer right there. That’s why folks started calling their significant other baby or sweetie.”
Laughing, Stella leans into her mic again. “Well, we’re running out of time so do you have an answer for boring ass John?”
“Oh, yeah. Here’s what I want you to do for me, John. Go on the internet, look up how to do a body roll, watch instructional videos on that as many times as you can, and practice what they do until you stop looking like you’re in the middle of a grand Mal seizure, then call every single woman you’ve ever had sex with and apologize. Profusely.”
Stella giggles. “That means a lot, John. I get the impression that you’re more of a physical guy than an intellectual one.”
Holy shit.
Did Stella just call him a meathead?
I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me as I shake my head at my co-host before glancing back at Casey. Our boss, Aiden, is standing next to him in the booth - both of them cracking up. I turn back to Stella, pride filling me as I flash her a smile and lean into the mic.
“Well, that’s all we’ve got time for tonight, folks. We’ll be back on Monday at eight for more debauchery. We’ll see you then.” I glance back at the camera and wink just before the red light stops flashing. The on-air light flicks off and I let out a laugh as I lean back in my chair.
“That was savage, Stella.” I place my hand over my chest. “I’m so proud.”
She shrugs, a light blush staining her cheeks as she reaches under the desk to grab her purse. “What can I say? It just came to me and I went with it before I could overthink anything.”
“Well, it was brilliant,” Aiden says, stepping into the booth in his designer suit. His stance is casual - hands in the pockets of his slacks, the top button of his shirt undone, and a smile on his face but his presence still commands the room. “Great show, ladies.”
