Her life from before the collapse was barely recognizable to Jessie now. When she thought of sitting in an office or going for a drive by the beach with all her windows down, it was like she was imagining those things happening to a different person, rather than recalling a memory. So much had changed that it was hard to see herself there anymore, but she knew it had happened and she had to believe that it could happen again.
This wasn’t the life she was supposed to lead. This wasn’t the world her boys were supposed to grow up in. Closing the front door to her house for what she knew could be the last time, Jessie looked up at the brickwork and promised herself she would return. This wasn’t the end; it was merely the beginning of a new chapter and she was excited to find out what happened next.
Wipeout Book 6
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[MP1]Why? You said the grave couldn’t be seen from the kitchen window.
[MP2]So he just stood there and let the guy go up the stairs? Seems like he’d try to stop the guy, at least.
[MP3]That can’t knock the air out of someone. You need a shot to the solar plexus to do that.
[MP4]Why would they need to break it from the inside? Why not just unlock it?
[MP5]Really? After everything he’s seen and everything he’s been through, he’s really at a loss as to what caused it?
[MP6]I thought she slept in Bowie’s room?
[MP7]If the invaders are from the People’s Republic of China, there would be no women among them. Women are not allowed in the military in China.
[MP8]How do the cars get in there to park if it’s surrounded by walls?
[MP9]This seems pretty far fetched to me. Did you research what could happen to a building if dynamite went off in the street in front of it? How much dynamite would it take to do what you’ve written here?
[MP10]Shouldn’t he remove his armband before he goes?
[MP11]This makes no sense. With all the trouble that people he didn’t know have caused him, strangers looking after themselves rather than others, and the number of times that people walking down the street have tried to kill him, he would not, under any circumstances call out to a random group of people on the street. Besides, the odds that they would have the specific medicines he’s looking for are so long, no one would bet on that.
He’d be more likely to hunker down out of sight until they passed and/or try to lock the front door so he wouldn’t have to worry as much about them coming in and finding him.
[MP12]The point of view in this scene is Austin’s. It’s a really bad idea to change point of view in the middle of a scene like this and with Taggy and Luc above. It confuses the reader. Stay in one head/one POV per scene.
If another character has information that’s absolutely necessary for the scene to work, you have to either show it through their actions or have them say it out loud to the POV character (or so they can overhear it).
[MP13]You said in an earlier chapter that her grave couldn’t be seen from the window.
[MP14]I thought she had lost consciousness. Has she recovered then?
[MP15]He’s a trained nurse. He KNOWS what to do.
[MP16]You’ve said in the past that Dante is a nurse, not a healthcare assistant. Nurses are absolutely trained for situations like this. They’re also trained to remove the emotion from a situation and do what needs to be done. Regardless of who the patient is. The emotion gets compartmentalized for later.
[MP17]The police don’t keep dynamite on hand. It’s not even something they work with. In fact, it’s such a specialized task, I’m not sure where they’d get the people who do work with it to set it up as you’ve described.
[MP18]I don’t think that’s possible.
[MP19]He just said they didn’t have the manpower or the firepower to fight.
[MP20]Some more what? Danger? Steps? Trouble?
[MP21]She was planting them??? You’ve never established her as an explosives expert before. It’s not like just anybody can do that.
[MP22]I assume that they’d want the fact that they’re meeting to be a secret, especially from their guards. But, ditching the guards and then disappearing would alert them. It’s not the guards are going to just shrug when they disappear and return to their post like they’re guarding them. They’re going to search and raise an alarm.
Kitch and the rest all need to be away from their guards without the guards realizing it.
[MP23]Why do that? The way you explained it, 16 men go out to the boat at 2AM and their replacements don’t come back until 5AM. That gives the rebels three hours to concentrate all their forces on the remaining guards on the island. Why wouldn’t they take advantage of the lowered compliment of Chinese soldiers for those three hours? What advantage do they get from capturing the 16 who are about to leave the island? In addition, are they going to put 16 of their own people in the boats to go to the main boat so they don’t get suspicious? That leaves only six of the rebels on the island to do what needs to be done. And, aren’t the Chinese on the main boat going to get suspicious immediately when a bunch of rebels show up instead of the soldiers?
[MP24]Wouldn’t he have to sneak out of the house and avoid being spotted by the guards?
Wipeout | Book 5 | Foul Play Page 17
