He took the bite of food he’d had in his hand and sat back, chewing and thinking.
“I want to challenge Ethiopian men to be a part of our liberation from all the harmful constructs oppressing women in this country. It isn’t right and it isn’t fair to expect them to once again carry the burden of fixing what they didn’t break.”
Saba beamed at me, then pointed at him. “Good answer.”
I smiled at her approval and sat there quietly, thinking about the certainty in Elias’s answer. I’d never felt so passionate about anything. Elias spoke with such fire, like he believed every word he said. He was certain he could make a difference. I couldn’t even tell my mom I didn’t want to take a job I knew I’d hate, and had no clue if my other plan was any better.
It was a privilege to do the work I did, yet I had never felt the passion with which Elias spoke. Never felt like I was an important part of it.
I noticed a pause in the conversation and Saba’s voice wrenched me out of my thoughts. “Desta, where did you go? I asked you a question.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, what did you say?” I sounded more than a little distracted.
She gave me a worried look. Elias did too. “Elias said you’re planning to hike up to Entoto tomorrow. That sounds like fun.”
That perked me up because another day with Elias sounded like everything I needed right now. “Yes, I’m looking forward to it.”
Elias squeezed my thigh under the table and turned to Saba, one of those perfect eyebrows raised. “So how was Desta as a kid? Was he always so excitable?”
I protested, trying to look put out. “Excitable? What am I, a puppy?”
He was having too much fucking fun torturing me. “No, no. It’s just you seem to get so happy about new things. It’s very cute.” He made the word cute longer than it needed to be and gave me a mischievous look.
Saba looked between us, her face in an expression which had me bracing to be utterly embarrassed. “He was always such an emotionally open child. Even as a teen when most kids are so prickly. I’d go to New York for a visit, and after a whole year, I’d be unsure if he’d be interested in this old friend of his mom. But the minute he saw me, he’d run right into my arms and tell me how much he missed me, and how beautiful I looked.”
Her eyes were so soft I actually felt a lump in my throat. “Desta always could share what he was feeling without shame. That is one of the many things that make him such a special man.”
I rolled my eyes at her, knowing she’d get a kick out of it, and she laughed, pointing at me. “See what I mean!”
Elias beamed at her and looked primed to ask more questions, but before he could, I put my hands up, desperately needing out of this conversation. “Time out. Please, let’s finish eating.” I waved my hand over the table. “We can’t waste all this delicious food.”
Elias leaned closer and ran his hand over my leg again, making my entire body heat up. “Eshi, I’ll stop asking questions.”
I sighed, working to keep my feelings under control. “Okay.”
Saba shook her head in amusement and went back to eating while I asked Elias about the hike to Entoto.
We finished dinner and went back to the living room to relax. While Elias and Saba talked Ethiopian politics some more, I got up to get a glass of water in the kitchen. I looked over my shoulder as I walked away, wanting to catch a glimpse of him as he talked. He took such care with what he said, and when he heard something particularly interesting, he would lean in and give his complete attention. Every once in a while, he’d grab the ends of his curls and squeeze like he was wringing out the emotion the words raised in him.
When I came back to the living room, Saba and Elias suddenly stopped talking. I tried to make a joke out of it as I sat down next to Elias. “Oh, don’t worry, keep going. I don’t mind people saying how handsome I am in front of me.”
To my surprise Elias put his arm around me, pulled me close, and kissed the tip of my nose, because obliterating me seemed to be his goal for the night. “You know you are, konjo.”
I blushed again and looked from him to Saba—who seemed completely unfazed by the display of affection—before opening my mouth. After a moment I asked, “What were you two talking about?”
Saba laughed and said, “We were just saying that it’s getting late and you two have a long day tomorrow.”
“Riiiight, and that’s all you said.”
Elias laughed and got up, pulling me with him. “I should get going, but I can drive you home.”
I nodded and moved to grab my bag from where I’d put it by the door. Saba got up to see us off. “Stay safe out there, my dear.”
Then she turned to Elias, squeezing his shoulder. “Take good care of him for me.”
He dipped his head, a serious look on his face. “Eshi.”
She gave him a kiss on each cheek and a really tight hug.
As Elias went to get the car started, I said goodbye to Saba. She held my face and said, “I like him for you. He’s a brave man. Honest.”
“Saba! I’m not here trying to find a boyfriend. Also he’s super in the closet to his family and wants to be here, in Ethiopia, a place I love so far but won’t be living in. And why I am even thinking of living places? Ugh, okay, I’m going.”
She shook her head like I was talking nonsense, and I moved in for a last hug before heading out. I got to the car to find Elias beaming at me, and immediately everything felt okay again.
“Get in, konjo, so we can get you home. I still need my goodnight kiss.”
Chapter 15
Elias parked outside and walked into the guesthouse with me. We hadn’t talked about him coming up, but I didn’t make a thing out of it and led the way to my room. We both hesitated in the doorway, and after a second I felt bold and pulled him in by the hem of his shirt. Once inside with the door locked, I pressed against him and stuck my nose in the crook of his neck. He always smelled so fucking good.
He immediately slid both his hands inside my briefs, one kneading my ass hard, the other looking for my hole. I moaned as he ran his thumb over it, just a touch, then pushed in. “I haven’t stopped thinking about this.”
I gasped, biting his neck. “I want more.”
He growled, turning his head to get at my mouth. I let out a tortured groan as he sucked on my tongue hard and kept grazing the tips of his fingers over my hole. I was so turned on, and there was no way I could stop until I came. Until we both did.
Elias pulled back and his face was flushed. “Take your jeans off and put your hands against the wall. I want you to jerk off while I play with your ass.”
Holy shit I did not see this toppy Elias coming at all, but I was here for it. “You have the best ideas,” I said breathlessly.
“I’m waiting.” He said with a stern note to his voice that made my dick impossibly harder. Elias was always so serious and proper, but this demanding side of him was hot as fuck. I did what he said, and in two seconds flat I had my hands up against the wall, legs spread, ass pushing out, having a hard time not humping the air.
Elias came up behind me without saying a word, and I could feel his cock through his trousers as he thrust hard against my ass. It took all I had not to beg him to fuck me. I was burning up for him—his breath on my neck, the possessive way he ran his hands over me, like he couldn’t get close enough.
Suddenly I felt his hand come up my chest, and I legit panted. “I want to hear you scream for me, Desta. Tell me how much you like it when I touch you.” He pinched my nipple hard and then rubbed it with his thumb. At this point words were getting hard to process, but what he was doing to me had me begging for more.
“I love how you touch me. I want your fingers in me.”
With his other hand he pulled down my briefs, then pried open my cheeks. The feeling of being exposed like that combined with the cold air in the room hit me like a bolt of electricity. His touch consumed me, took over every one of my senses.
“You like this?”
His voice was pure sex.
“Oh God.” I started pushing my ass back on his hand, wanting, needing to feel more.
Elias lifted one hand to my mouth, hissing in my ear when I tongued his fingers. “Get them wet. Show me how you’re going to suck my dick when I give it to you.”
It was so dirty and I was so fucking into it.
He came closer to me, his mouth pressed to my ear. “You’re making me want to give you my cock right now, you’re sucking on those fingers so good.” My ass clenched at the thought, but he shook his head, adding a third finger, which I took greedily. “No, I’m going to fuck you with these first. Make you come, then use your come to jerk off.”
“Ungh, I may blow from just you talking.”
His laugh was sinful, like he knew I had no idea what I was in for. “I want to see my come all over your ass, Desta.”
I shuddered out a breath and sucked hard on his thumb. After a moment, he stepped back, and with one hand he spread my ass again and pushed his thumb in just a little bit. I was so close to coming that I was sure if he touched my cock I’d explode.
“Do you have lubricant?” he asked, his voice tight as he ran the pad of his finger over my rim. “I can’t wait to see my fingers moving in and out of you.”
My knees buckled, because between his hands on me, in me, and the things he was saying, I was having a hard time staying upright. I shook my head, trying to remember what he’d asked.
Lube. Right.
I was so desperate I’d probably be fine with him fingering me dry, but I nodded, pointing at my bedside table. “It’s in the drawer.”
I’d bought the lube on a whim as I prepared for my trip, but being around Elias had me jerking off on a daily basis, so I was grateful I’d gone for the full-size bottle.
He hurried to the bed and was back within seconds. I turned my head to see him coating two fingers with the silky gel, and my ass clenched again, needing them inside me already.
“I’ve been wanting to touch you like this since I saw you in those little shorts you run in.” He massaged my rim as he whispered filthy things in my ear, making every nerve ending light up.
“That feels so good, baby. Give me more, please, I’m so close.”
He slid in the first finger, pushing in gently until he found my spot. I practically wept from the sensation as he grabbed my cock and started stroking me just like I needed it.
“More of what, konjo?” he teased.
I shook my head and pushed hard against the two fingers he was now using to drive me fucking crazy. He took that as a cue and started working my dick in earnest.
I could feel the orgasm building fast. When he lightly brushed his fingernail against my slit on the upstroke, my legs buckled, pleasure flooding me. I felt the tightness starting between my ass and my groin when I was about to come.
The orgasm slammed into me so hard I couldn’t make words. Elias stroked me through it, holding me up. When I was completely wrung out, he ran his thumb over my sensitive cock one last time and pulled his fingers out of my ass. Before he was fully out, he ran the pads of his fingers over my hole as he bit and sucked on my shoulder.
I was so over-sensitized, tremors were running up and down my body, and I knew the only reason I was still upright was because he had me. Elias kept kissing and tasting as he rubbed the head of his cock against my ass.
“I love your ass, Desta,” he practically growled into my ear. “I want to see my come all over it.”
I was totally blissed out from my orgasm, but his voice against my ears and his cock painting my ass with his pre-come had me so worked up, I was practically vibrating.
“Do it, baby.” I pushed back and heard the slap of his hand as he worked himself. After a moment his breath became shakier and he let out a long moan as wetness splashed all over my back and ass.
Elias slumped on me and mumbled something in Amharic while he nipped and licked my neck and shoulders again. I could feel his hands sliding over my back. I turned to look at him, and his face was pure mischief. “I will lick the come off you next time.”
“You’re really fucking dirty.” I couldn’t help the admiration in my voice. The man’s mouth was filthy, and I was truly obsessed.
He kept his eyes on my back, that wicked smile still on his lips. “You bring it out in me, konjo. Come, let’s move to the bed.”
He dragged us both over, and as I got under the covers he took his pants and shoes off, before getting in with me. We lay there for a few minutes, tangled in each other, my head against Elias’s chest. Being with him was so intense, every moment magnified. Maybe it was this place—Ethiopia and its magic. Or maybe it was me once again moving too fast. Still, I couldn’t deny the way he made me feel. Like everything made sense in his arms.
After a few minutes, I dislodged myself from him and sat up. “I need to get cleaned up. I feel like we’re going to get stuck together.”
He chuckled and pulled me down for another kiss before letting out a long sigh. “I should probably head out soon, too.”
Right, because he was taking a risk even coming up to my room with me, let alone trying to sneak out at all hours of the night.
I didn’t say anything and went to the bathroom for a washcloth. After a few minutes, I came out with a damp towel for him. As soon as I saw his face, I knew something bad had happened. The smile on his lips from just a few minutes ago was gone, his brow knitted with worry at whatever he was seeing on his phone. “What’s wrong?”
He looked over like he was surprised to see me there, as if in the time I’d been in the bathroom, he’d forgotten where he was. He was busy tugging on his pants and looking at his phone, which was on the bed lighting up with notifications. “My father’s in the hospital. I had my phone turned off, so I didn’t see the messages until now.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I felt like shit for keeping him away from his family, and terrified for him. Instantly I had worst-case scenarios flooding my head—of his dad being dead, of him not getting there in time. I was trying hard to breathe and not having much luck when I felt firm hands tighten around my arms.
“Desta.”
I turned my face up to him and saw him looking down at me with worry. I had to get it together. His dad was sick and I didn’t need to make it about me. I tried to shake off my own baggage about my dad and focused on him.
“I’m sorry. Of course you should go.” I tried to sound normal. But I heard the tremor in my voice.
I distracted myself by putting on some clothes as he finished getting dressed. My mind was racing, thinking of all the ways him being here was a problem. The thought of Elias not being there for his dad because he’d been here with me sucked the air out of my lungs. I took a deep breath, and then another, trying to ground myself. And when I finally spoke, I sounded marginally less freaked out. “Was your family able to get to the hospital since you have the car?”
“My mom and my sister’s husband have cars.” His voice was calm and steady, and he’d clearly noticed I was having some kind of a meltdown.
“Oh, right.” Now I felt like an idiot. I looked up at him and realized he wasn’t making a move to leave. He closed his eyes standing by the door, as if he were preparing himself for whatever he’d face when he left my room.
He exhaled loudly as he buried his face in my hair, and I tightened my arms around him. If he needed someone to lean on for a moment before going to deal with a family crisis, I could fucking get my shit together and at least give him that.
After a minute, Elias spoke. “My mom and sister are with him. The hospital is close to here, and there’s not much traffic at this time. I’ll get there in a few minutes.”
“Okay. Take the time you need,” I said, lifting my watch to read the time. I realized it was later than I thought.
“Besides, being here with you helps.”
I tried to smile at him, but I was still having a hard time calming down. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I was co
nvinced Elias would not get to his father in time. But he’d told me it was fine, and I needed to respect that. “Do you know what’s wrong?”
He tried to smile, but couldn’t manage it. “My father’s ill a lot. He has some heart problems, but he also suffers from—”
He shook his head like he was trying to figure out what to say, but in the end he just turned his face so his mouth brushed my neck, and we stayed like that for a few seconds. Soon he was moving again. He sighed heavily as he unlocked the door, and I could feel the apprehension coming off him in waves.
Once we were out by his car, without thinking I made a move to touch his hand. He flinched. Then I remembered where we were. This wasn’t my room, or even Saba’s house—we were out on the street. Anyone could walk by and see us.
“Sorry.”
Elias nodded and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s all right, konjo.”
A feeling of dread settled in my stomach like something important had changed in the last few minutes, and we wouldn’t get back the ease we’d had with each other only a half hour ago.
Hearing him use the endearment did something for my nerves, but I was still feeling out of sorts. “I hope your dad is okay.”
“Me too.”
I saw him drive off, then walked into the guesthouse, worried for Elias and his family. I also had the feeling that the bubble we’d been in, where we pretended Elias and I could be lovers, had just burst.
Chapter 16
After stopping myself from trying to text Elias for the third time in the hour after he’d left, I decided I desperately needed a talking-to. I had to check in with Lucía, because if anyone could get me off the bullshit I was on right now, it was her. I opened the Skype app on my laptop, hoping she was around.
DestaJoyWalker: Code Red. CODE.RED.
Lucía.Woods: WTF? Please tell me you’re not skyping me after engaging in poor sexual choices.
DestaJoyWalker: OF COURSE I AM!!!!!!
Lucía.Woods: DON’T YELL AT ME!
Finding Joy Page 13
