by A. R. Kayne
It would be a challenge, of course. He couldn’t take her to the usual places people went on dates. Given his visibility on the ship, everything he said and did was a matter of gossip and criticism. He now knew his past efforts to be discreet had been for naught. But he had resources the other men didn’t. He also lived with her, which was a major advantage.
He would take action immediately.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jess
Jess leaned against the wall outside the darkened club and rubbed her leg. She still hadn’t gotten used to having heels on her shoes; this time she’d stumbled while dancing and twisted her ankle.
Her date, a rangy man from the ship’s leak detection group, pulled a small bottle from his shipsuit and shoved its nozzle end in his nose. It squelched when he squeezed it. When he pulled it out, he offered it to her.
“No, thank you.” Jess forced a polite smile to her face. She wondered why anyone would want to share an object they’d repeatedly jammed in their nostrils. Even with her limited knowledge of bacteria, the idea of using it herself made her queasy. “Actually, Eiric, I need to go. I’m sorry to cut our date short, but I hurt my ankle.”
For the first time in her life, she was actually grateful for an injury. She didn’t like him and she’d only agreed to the date because he’d pressed her. Within minutes of meeting him at the club, it was obvious that was a mistake. They had no interests in common, he was rude to the staff, and she frequently had the feeling that he was mocking her.
He stared down at her with hooded eyes. “Let’s see it.”
“That’s alright. I’ll take care of it in my quarters.” She tried another polite smile.
He smirked. Before she understood his intentions, he grabbed her arm and pulled her down a series of corridors, taking turns that left her dizzy and disoriented.
“Eiric, stop! My ankle’s hurt!”
She stumbled and struggled to stay upright. When he finally halted, she found herself pushed inside a tiny room containing only a toilet and a sink. He slammed its door closed, engaged its lock, and slammed her against the wall, crushing his mouth against hers. She froze, shocked, and just managed to twist her head before he forced his tongue inside.
“Stop! What’s wrong with you?” she yelled.
Nobody else on the ship had ever grabbed her like that! She glared at him and shoved hard. He didn’t move. She realized, to her horror, that he was not only bigger but much stronger than her.
“Alright. I was just trying to get you warmed up.”
His smile had a nasty edge. Jess squinted at him. He was sweating and his pupils were so dilated that they covered his irises. Something about the whole situation was very strange.
“Are you sick?” That might explain his odd behavior.
“No.”
He gripped her shoulders, forced her down on the toilet, and fumbled at the crotch of his shipsuit. As she watched, he opened the suit and pulled out a rigid length of flesh.
Despite herself, she was curious. “Is that your mating part? Where are the barbs?”
She’d only ever seen Ro’s, when she took care of him after rescuing him from the Ghul. Ro’s had been a soft-looking tube of flesh, innocent and babyish just like the rest of him. This one looked weird. Was it supposed to be like that, all knobby and gray? It smelled bad, even from this distance.
Eiric laughed at her. “Mating part! Is that another of your stupid names for things? What do you think it is? Did you keep your eyes closed the last time you fucked?”
“Put it away. I don’t want to mate with you.” Jess tried to get up and duck past him. He shoved her back down.
“Not so fast. You’re gonna fuck me first. It’s my turn to get what you’ve been giving the rest of the ship.” He took the stiff flesh in his hand and stroked it. To her horror, it grew larger and turned an angry shade of red. She recoiled.
“No. I need to go.” What was she supposed to do if a man was aggressive? She couldn’t think and couldn’t remember. She only knew she wasn’t supposed to kill him.
He grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her face toward his bare crotch. “Open your mouth,” he grunted.
“No!” She thrashed wildly, pulling out strands of her own hair in the process.
His other hand fumbled with her skirt, yanking it high and tearing at her panties. She scratched, bit, and kicked desperately, to no avail. For the first time in months, she was afraid.
“You stupid little cunt,” he snarled, squeezing her throat. She gasped for breath, panicking as the room became blurry.
Suddenly she was back in the cave on Draco. A man was on top of her, holding her down and tearing at her clothes. “Spread your legs, girl, or I’ll kill the old woman when I’m done with you.”
There was a knife in her hand …
Eiric shrieked and stumbled backward, his hands pressed against a gash in his thigh. “Bitch! You bitch! You fucking cut me!”
Jess pushed past him and scrambled for the door. She fled, panting and fighting back tears, with the memory of her grandmother’s screams in her ears. That night on Draco, she’d killed a man. He’d gotten on top of her, but she’d managed to kill him before he mated with her. The question was, would Eiric try again? If he did, what would she do?
“Computer, I’m lost. Help me,” she begged as she scrambled down the corridor.
“Certainly. Your heart rate is quite elevated. Do you require medical assistance?”
“No. Please just help me find the lifts.”
By the time Jess reached them, she felt calmer. The date had been bad, but hadn’t she been warned that could happen? It hadn’t been that bad, had it? After all, she’d managed to leave without killing him. In fact, she hadn’t had to kill anyone in months. It was important to keep a sense of perspective. What she needed was a drink of something hot and sweet to calm her nerves and soothe her throat.
“Cafe deck please,” she murmured to the lift. There was a snack kiosk on that level. It was closer and faster than using the synthesizer in her room, and they made a spicy sweet drink she loved. She’d have a drink, calm down, then go back to quarters and rest her ankle.
When Jess exited the lift, she saw a cluster of her friends. When they spotted her, they waved. She waved back and managed a weak smile.
“Hey, twenty-three!” one yelled, “You’ve gotta see this! It doesn’t name names, but we figured it was you.”
Twenty-three? What did that mean? She hurried forward, took the proffered tablet, and scanned the brief. When she reached the photos, her face crumpled and her vision went blurry. Twenty-three. She’d almost managed to forget. That was the number of Ghul she’d killed down on Draco. She’d done that. She was the cause of that obscene pile of bones and limbs.
“How many Ghul does it take to fix an airlock?” one of her friends hooted. Another told a joke about two Ghul going in a bar. The room began to spin.
“Easy,” someone said behind her. “I have you.” She felt big hands on her shoulders, hands supporting her and stopping her from toppling over. When she craned her head back, she saw Liam. His eyes were fixed on the young men. A muscle was twitching in his jaw.
“It’s alright, Jess,” he said, “You’ve done nothing to be ashamed of. You weren’t supposed to see that. Neither was this group. I’ll see you to your quarters.”
She leaned back against him, clutched the hands that rested against her shoulders, and looked at her friends. They’d quit laughing. Maybe that was something.
She cleared her throat. “Yes, that was me. I killed them. I didn’t even do it in a brave way. I was scared the whole time. I snuck around in the dark blowing darts at them and slitting their throats. Most never knew what was happening. The ones who did were terrified. They couldn’t see; they could just hear screams and gurgles. Some of them shit or pissed themselves before I could kill them. The night creatures followed me, dragging bodies away and eating them just as fast as I killed them. I ended it as fast as I could, b
ut it wasn’t fast enough. It was bad for everybody.
“I’m going to tell you something that isn’t in that brief. There’s no joy in killing. It isn’t something you’re happy about, and you don’t feel like a better person once you’ve done it. You fight and kill because you have to. I wish I hadn’t had to. They’re evil bastards, but slaughtering them left a stain on me, and so has every other bit of killing and hurting I’ve ever done.”
Liam tucked his arm around her and guided her away from the group, steadying her when she limped. They walked back to her quarters in silence, his presence gradually calming her. At her door, she paused before going inside.
“Thanks for being there. I guess you knew about that, about me killing the Ghul. You and your team.”
“Everyone knew before you started visiting us. I saw the site in person. Nobody wants you to hurt over it. We understand. Sometimes circumstances force us to do things we believe to be bad, because the alternatives are far worse.”
“I’m never going to be normal, am I?” she whispered, feeling tears well up in her eyes.
“You don’t have to be everybody else’s normal. You can be your own normal. Everyone on the team has had to learn that.” As he spoke, he took her right hand and studied it, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles.
“My own normal,” she said shakily, “What a strange thing that’s turning out to be. I’m sorry for putting a knife through you awhile back. Thanks for being my stabbing friend.”
Liam pulled her against his chest and rubbed his hand in circles on her back. “You’re welcome. Anytime. I’m here for you any time you need me. You can talk to me and tell me anything. In fact, you can talk to me right now, if you need to. Is there something you’d like to tell me? Or maybe you’d like to talk to Dr. Ales?”
“No.” She pulled away and gave him a sad smile. “Thank you. I think I’d better just go inside and rest my ankle. I turned it earlier and it’s giving me trouble.”
“How did it happen?”
“A date. Dancing.”
“You’re limping pretty badly and there’s blood on your hand. Are you hurt? Would you like me to call medical?”
“No. But thank you. I just want to rest and forget that this day ever happened.”
***
Liam guided her inside then stared at the closed door for a time, chewing on his lower lip, before he addressed the computer.
“Computer, I need a summary of Jess’s activities.” He recited an authorization code.
“Over what time interval?”
“Let’s start with the past three hours.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jess
“Jess, your sleeping and activity patterns have become irregular. You have been isolating yourself. These can be signs of depression. Would you like to speak with a counselor?”
“No. Thank you, computer,” Jess replied wearily. She’d been having the same exchange with the computer for days, several times per shift. It had long since grown old. Despite the fact the computer clearly was a person, when it repeated itself word-for-word or responded in rote ways, its origins as a machine were obvious.
“Your usual counselor, Dr. Ales, is unavailable. However, there are secondary counselors. All of them are competent.”
“No, thank you.”
“If your symptoms persist or become more severe, I will be required to report them.”
“I’m fine. The mist you sprayed last night helped me sleep.”
“You are not fine. Perhaps I should notify Captain Adamson.”
“Please don’t. I don’t want to discuss it with him.”
Pryce was the last person on the ship she wanted to talk to! She couldn’t imagine telling him that she’d been eye to eye, so to speak, with someone’s private anatomy. She was also mortified that he’d predicted the assault when they fought in his office weeks ago. Was she somehow to blame for what had happened during the date with Eiric?
“What do you wish to avoid discussing?”
There was that question again, the one the computer had asked her repeatedly. Jess had a feeling it knew very well what she didn’t want to discuss.
“Nothing.”
“I have reviewed the security and activity logs. Your behavior changed shortly after attending the dance club with Eiric Anastas. I believe your disturbance is connected to his actions. I am not human and there are many aspects of being human that I don’t understand. I advise you to speak with a human.”
Jess blinked. The computer was saying something new!
“I’ll see Dr. Ales once she’s out of the tank,” Jess offered, hoping it would get the computer to quit bothering her. “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this issue with anyone other than you or her.”
“Her treatment will be complete in 12.6 shifts. If you will speak with me until she’s available, that will be an acceptable compromise. However, if your symptoms become more severe, I will be required to report them to a secondary counselor.”
“Alright. I’ll talk to you. What do you want me to say?”
“Tell me what happened.”
To Jess’s great surprise, talking about it helped. The computer was very clinical and matter-of-fact. It didn’t exhibit the sorts of assumptions or implicit judgments she’d frequently encountered with other humans.
“From listening to your account and reviewing the logs, it is clear that you didn’t cause the assault,” the computer said at length. “Eiric Anastas deliberately isolated you so that he could force you to perform sex acts. If you had not defended yourself, he would have continued to assault you. Part of your anxiety stems from fear. This is a common response to being assaulted. A human would be better suited to helping you with this issue. Would you like to speak to a secondary counselor at this time?”
“No. Thank you.”
“Perhaps it will help to know that the original trigger of the fear is gone. Eiric Anastas is in medical stasis and will be transferred off the ship. You will not see him again. Additionally, if you are ever afraid, you can call me. I will monitor you and see that you are assisted.”
“That does make me feel better, but why … what happened to Eiric?”
“He had an accident. He is now unable to perform his duties.”
“What kind of accident?” Somehow the timing struck her as odd. “Was it because I stabbed him? I didn’t think I hurt him that badly.”
“No. The stabbing wasn’t a factor. However, I am unable to access the details of the accident or his injuries. I can only access the transfer order.”
“Alright. Thank you for speaking with me. I do feel better but I believe I’ll stay in my quarters for now.”
“That is acceptable. When Dr. Ales recovers, you will discuss this issue with her in depth. Now we are going to watch some videos. Before she began her rejuvenation process, Dr. Ales instructed me to show you this material.”
A picture flashed on Jess’s screen. “Yuck! Take that off! I don’t want to see that!” she squealed, covering her eyes.
“This is an unclothed adult human male. Today we’re going to discuss some fundamental aspects of human anatomy, then the basics of foreplay and sexual intercourse. I am to remind you that knowledge and enjoyment of your body are part of your birthright.”
She shuddered and kept her eyes averted. “Why do I have to see this now? It’s disgusting! A few days ago, I saw a man’s anatomy much closer than I ever wanted to. It was repulsive. Seriously. I’ve gutted animals whose digestive tracts looked more attractive. I really don’t want to see more.”
“Knowledge of anatomy and social norms can be important to your safety.”
“Can’t we just work on math? I know about mating,” Jess protested. “I saw it on Draco. The male animals knock the females to the ground, hold them down, and pierce their skin with their two mating parts. The female screams, then a few weeks or months later she gives birth. I’m sure it works the same way with humans, give or take an organ.”
“No.
It does not. Your mental model of human sexual activity is highly inaccurate. Dr. Ales has given me a direct order. She believes you need this information. She stated that you should have reviewed it weeks ago, before beginning to date, and that she’s aware that you’ve been avoiding it. She was concerned and displeased.”
“I already know everything I need to know,” Jess said firmly. “Mating is awkward, painful, and disgusting. Men’s mating parts look weird and they smell bad. I’m never going to do it. In fact, I’m done with dating. From now on I’m just going to focus on studying and working.”
“You have formed a negative, inaccurate impression of anatomy and sexual intercourse. I suspect that it has been colored by your personal experiences. Most humans enjoy sex. You will review the material and we will discuss your feelings.”
“How do you know humans like it? Have you seen them doing it?”
“Yes.”
Despite herself, Jess was fascinated by the videos.
“Is that really supposed to fit inside her?”
“Yes. His penis is of approximately average length and girth. The human vagina will accommodate a range of penis sizes. His is well within the range that can be accommodated without discomfort.”
Then the noises started. Jess covered her face with her hands.
“Turn it off! He’s hurting her!”
“No. Those are sounds of pleasure.”
“Are you sure? She’s moaning like she’s in pain.” Rather severe pain, at that.
“Yes. Look at her face.”
Jess peered at the screen from between her fingers. She had to admit that if the woman was hurting, she wasn’t trying very hard to get away. In fact, she was rubbing up against her partner, tilting her head this way and that while he held her down and gnawed on her throat.
“Should he be biting her like that? Is that normal?”
