by Shade, S. M.
I’m free but still trapped.
Before the blizzard hit, I watched the weather report, and it was forecast to rage all night. It won’t pass until early morning at least. There are a few things around me that might burn, but I don’t have a lighter or any way to build a fire. A frenzied search of the shed only produces disappointment. The only thing that might be useful is the small pile of deflated snow tubes. Rubber can trap heat and covering myself with them might help. It might buy me some time. I can’t imagine it’ll be much.
With no other choices clear, I drag them over to the part of the shed with the least amount of holes, away from the unstable part of the roof. I’m well aware that another foot of snow may still bring the roof down on me, but there’s nothing I can do.
Leaning against a pile of pallets, I cover myself in the dusty, cracked rubber as well as I can. I tuck my tied hands between my thighs, under the rubber, and fight back more tears as they ache and tingle at the tiny bit of warmth.
I don’t want to give up, but I’m out of ideas. I can’t make the storm stop. I can’t leave here until it’s over. My only plan now is to hide under the pile of rubber and get up and walk around occasionally to keep the blood moving through my extremities.
For the first time since I woke here, I allow myself to face the fact that I may not survive. This might be the end. I’m surprised to find little fear in the prospect, only an overwhelming sorrow for everything I’m going to miss out on.
I won’t get to see Caden grow up, go to school, become the person he’s going to be. I won’t be there for Axton or Dani when they need a friend. And Axton. I can’t bear the thought of how he’ll take it. No matter our conversation last night, I know he loves me. He may not want to, but he does. He’s already had so much pain in his life, so many things that already fuck up his chance at happiness and now I’ll be added to that.
He’ll blame himself for letting me go, for not making sure I had security with me, for not wanting me, when none of that is his fault. Leaning my head back, I let myself cry for all of it. For all of us.
A scuffling noise catches my attention, and I sit up, listening close. It was probably just snow sliding off the roof or something. Then I hear it again, followed by a low whine.
Something is outside the shed. A million horrible possibilities run through my head; cougars and bears, coyotes and wolves. With my wrists bound and no weapon, I’m helpless against predators and whatever I heard definitely isn’t human.
My muscles protest as I struggle back to my feet. I didn’t think it was possible to feel any colder until I see the snout poke through the hole under the wall, where the ground has been dug out. Whatever has done that has obviously returned and likely won’t be happy to find me here.
A moment later, a head pokes through the hole and two sharp blue eyes study me. Not a wolf or coyote, but a dog stares at me for a long second, then whines. Paws scrabble at the ground until he’s cleared enough space to squeeze in under it.
It may not be the wild animal I feared, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be friendly. If it’s not, I’m done for. There’s nowhere I’d be able to get away from it if it was feral or starving badly enough to want a taste of me.
As it takes a cautious step toward me, I can see the curious look in its eyes. It’s a male, and a pretty good sized dog—or he would be if he were fed. The lack of collar and his scraggly thin condition says he’s been a stray for a while.
“Hey boy,” I say softly, holding my hands out for him to sniff. “Did you get lost in the storm?”
Intelligence shines in those eyes, bright Husky eyes, although he looks more like a German Shephard. Probably a mix. He approaches me and sniffs my hand, then licks my fingers, his tail wagging, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“I hope it was just you out there,” I remark, returning back to my pile of rubber. He follows and lies down right on top of the rubber over my legs. For being out in the snow, he isn’t particularly wet. Maybe he had another place for shelter too.
He lets me scratch behind his ears and lays his head on my arm. His fur is a bit dirty, but thick and warm and it doesn’t take long for me to realize how much warmer I feel with him close. Not to mention, I’m not alone. At least I won’t die alone.
He’s so underfed I can feel his ribs when I pet him. His head pops up to watch me when I awkwardly dig in my coat pocket to get out the two packages of snacks that I keep for Caden. The sight of the animal crackers and Caden’s favorite peanut butter cookies puts a lump back in my throat. Using my teeth, I tear open the cookies and spill two in front of the dog.
He wastes no time scarfing them down and looking to me for more. I give him two more and eat the last one. I’m not one bit hungry, but I feel so weak I know I should eat something. After we finish the cookies, he lays his head back down on my lap, his gaze alternating between the pack of animal crackers and me.
His not at all subtle plea makes me laugh. Why not? I’ll freeze way before I starve. “Just be warned, this might be considered cannibalism,” I say, chuckling at my own joke as I dump out the animal crackers and watch him eat. Are there dog shaped animal crackers? I might be losing it a little but having him for company is comforting.
After the cookies are gone, he burrows under the rubber to lie on my lap, and I tuck my freezing hands under his warm body. If he stays close like this, will it be enough to keep me from freezing to death? The urge to sleep is getting stronger but I know that’s not a good idea.
Instead, I talk. “Caden would call you a woof, so that’s what I’m going to call you for now,” I inform my new friend. “He calls all dogs woofs. Boy, would he love you. If by some miracle, I’m not a permanent block of ice, and I manage to find my way to some help tomorrow, you’ll have to meet him.”
It’s the first time I’ve had hope since I opened that shed door. Alone, I didn’t have a chance of making it through the night, but with the shared body heat between us—that’s getting trapped between the rubber and the frigid air—there’s a chance, however small.
It’s maddening not to know what time it is, how close the dawn is, or when the storm might let up. No way to count down how much longer I have to suffer. Eventually, the weakness, from shivering or the head injury, or maybe just fear and stress takes over, and I lie down.
Woof cuddles up next to me, and we spend the hours like that, with me warming random body parts against his fur throughout the night. He tolerates it all, my head laid on him to get the feeling back in my ears, he even lies on my feet when I direct him to. I don’t know how he ended up out here all alone, because he’s smart as hell.
Finally, I don’t know how late, I doze off with his furry body half covering me.
The first thing my exhausted mind registers is the light. Bright light. And my name. Someone is calling my name. It’s morning! Every muscle in my body screams at me when I sit upright and my head thumps. The world wavers for a few scary seconds before coming into focus.
“Here!” I try to call, but my voice is raspy and weak. I’m so thirsty. Woof whines and gets to his feet when I start tossing the rubber tubes off of us, and I try to call out again. It isn’t much louder. Fear attacks me. What if they don’t hear me and keep moving?
“Naomi!”
I recognize the voice, but I can’t place it. It doesn’t matter. Someone is searching for me. “I’m here!” My feet and legs are numb, and I fall trying to get to my feet. Oh god. They’re so close, and I can’t get their attention.
The sharp bark that Woof lets out makes me jump, but I’m so glad to hear it. “Yes, tell them, boy,” I sob. “Tell them I’m here.” I can’t seem to stand, but I manage to drag myself over to the shed door and shove it open.
The world is white and too bright to look at. Out of that painful, shiny gleam, a voice I thought I’d never hear again. “Naomi.”
Axton. He found me.
His shadow falls on me, letting me open my eyes enough to see him when he steps in front of me, along w
ith two other men. One I recognize as one of the security guys. He was the one I heard yell my name.
“We’ve got her! Have the ambulance meet us at the lodge!” a man barks, probably into a radio or phone. I’m too busy bawling in relief as two strong arms pick me up and Axton’s scent wraps around me.
“Naomi,” Axton chokes, holding me tight. “Fuck, I thought I lost you. Are you okay? Your head…”
“Paige,” I mutter. “She found me. Hit me, tied me up. Everything hurts.”
“I need a knife!” Axton turns with me in his arms and another man urges me to hold still while he cuts the cord binding my wrists.
“Watch that dog,” the security guy warns when Woof barks and circles around us.
“No! Don’t hurt him. That’s Woof. He stayed with me. He saved me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Axton
Yes, I understand. We’ll pick him up in a few days. Thank you.” My voice is low, but Dani hears my side of the conversation and steps into the room when I hang up the phone.
“Is everything okay? Did they catch Paige?”
“Not yet. That was the vet’s office. The dog she had with her is going to be fine.”
Dani smiles toward the couch. “She’ll be happy.”
For the hundredth time in an hour, I turn to gaze at them. Naomi and Caden lie curled up asleep on the couch, the shadows from the fire dancing across their faces. I came so close to losing her for good.
The doctors were amazed she only had a mild case of hypothermia. She needed a few stitches on her head but showed no signs of a concussion. Her toes on both feet suffered some superficial frostbite, along with her ears and the tip of her nose. She has to keep her feet wrapped while her toes heal to prevent infections. They wanted to keep her overnight, but her stubborn ass wouldn’t hear it, so once she was warmed up and they had her heart rate and blood pressure back to normal, she was released with the order to rest.
“I’ll put him to bed,” Dani whispers, and I nod. She pauses as I continue to stare at them. “You love her.”
The expression on my face when I regard her is answer enough and she hugs me. “I hope you’ve told her. You deserve to be happy. You both do.” She releases me and carefully untangles Caden from Naomi’s arms to pick him up.
Naomi’s eyes pop open and Dani smiles at her. “I’ve got him. I’m going to sleep with him in your room tonight.”
“Okay,” Naomi whispers, wincing as she shifts around on the couch to get comfortable. “I’m just going to sleep here.”
“No, you’re going to sleep with me,” I inform her, picking her up.
“Axton…”
“Unless you think you can outrun me, I’d save it. You’re with me.”
Her patented smartass look makes my night. “Sure, take advantage when I can’t fight back.”
“I’m the one who never had a chance against you.” Her head rests on my shoulder while I carry her to my room. She sits on the bed, her back against the headboard while I gently rub some of the cream the doctor gave her on her ears and face. Her lips are raw and red, but she smiles at me when I tell her about the dog.
“I want to keep him.”
“I told the vet we’d pick him up before we head home in a few days.”
She nods and scoots down, pulling the covers up to her chest.
“Are you cold? Do you need another pain pill?” I ask.
“No, I’m okay.”
There are a thousand things I want to say but I know it isn’t the time. Not after the way things were left before she was attacked. Still, there’s one thing I need her to know. “Naomi.” She looks up at me as I run my hand through her hair. “I love you.”
My hand is grasped in hers and she holds it against her red lips for a moment. “I know.” After a few seconds, she adds, “I don’t want to talk, okay? Can you just hold me? Maybe put some music on?”
That’s how we spend the night, with her in my arms, and music playing in the dark.
Naomi sleeps late the next day and it’s nearly noon when she shuffles out to the living room. “You should’ve yelled at me to help you in here,” I admonish.
“I can walk. My toes don’t hurt as bad. I’m just really sore all over, especially where she kicked me in the ribs.”
Rage smashes into me. “She kicked you in the ribs?”
She eases herself down onto the loveseat in front of the fireplace. “I’m okay, really. Where’s Caden?”
“Dani has him at the lodge for the night.”
“That’s not necessary. We can handle him. I’m not an invalid.”
I grab a pillow and blanket from the couch and sit beside her. “You’re not a great patient either.” When she’s comfortable, I add, “I wanted a night alone with you.”
I’m not sure what to make of her little nod. She doesn’t appear thrilled with the idea, and I guess I can’t blame her, but there are things she needs to hear from me and more I need to say. Later. For now, I order us a big lunch.
As soon as I hang up my phone, she says, “I need to get a new phone. Paige took mine. Well, it was hers in the beginning, I guess. I don’t know what the cops did to my original phone but it wouldn’t charge or turn on when I got it back. Glad I backup all my pictures and stuff. I’d hate to lose all those pictures of Caden.” Her habit of babbling when she’s nervous is never not going to be adorable.
She chews her bottom lip. “Have they caught her yet?”
I didn’t want to get on the subject of Paige and upset her as soon as she woke, but at least I have good news to give her. “Yes, the authorities arrested her this morning at the ski lodge down the road. That’s where she got the snowmobile. She’s locked up and they tell me there will be a large list of charges including attempted murder.”
Her cheeks pale, and she nods. “She wanted me to die.” She pulls the blanket around her and lays her head back on the headrest. “We’ve been friends since we were fourteen years old. I barely remember a time we weren’t. And she tried to kill me. Because she loved me.” Her voice turns bitter. “Maybe you were right all along, Ax. Love is terrible.”
I hate to see her like this when she’s the one who can always find a bright side. I wrap an arm around her. “No, I wasn’t right. She was crazy. A rotten, crazy, hateful bitch and she’s going to pay for it.”
She hugs me and sighs. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore right now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Our lunch is delivered and I’m glad to see she has an appetite. After we eat, she curls up on the end of the loveseat. “Who is this?” she asks, referring to the music I have playing.
“A guy named Nash Allen. Milo wanted me to check out his work. After this tour, they expect Patrick to be a headliner. This is the guy they’re considering for our future opener. What do you think?”
Her eyes fall closed as she listens. “He has a beautiful voice.”
I take her hand, and she opens her eyes to look at me. “You’re beautiful. I should’ve told you that before.”
The corner of her mouth curls up. “My face is chapped all to hell.”
“Doesn’t change the fact.” I put my finger under her chin when she starts to look away. “I meant what I said last night, Naomi. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I love you, and I want to be with you.”
“Ax…” She sighs and shakes her head. “You’re only saying that because of what happened to me, because it scared you.”
“No. I was way beyond scared when I realized you were missing. I was terrified I’d never see you again but that isn’t why. You were right. I’m afraid of loving anyone or having them love me. In my experience, love does more damage than hate could ever manage. I didn’t want to love anyone again or let someone fall for me. There’s something destructive about my love, and it terrifies me you may live to regret what you feel or suffer because of it in some way. That doesn’t change how you feel, and I can’t change that I’m in love with you. I tried, and I know you did
too. It’s too late. Trying to fight it is only tearing us both apart.”
Tears spill onto her cheeks, and I take her in my arms. “I am afraid, and I don’t know that that’s going to go away any time soon, but I promise I won’t push you away anymore. I’m someone else when I’m with you. Someone better. You make me better.”
The silence that follows is the worst kind of gut twisting torture. It feels like my entire world hangs on her response.
“You don’t need me for that. You can be an asshole, I’m not going to lie, but you’re good when it counts, Ax.” She pauses, anxiety reflecting on her face. “What about your public image? The media has branded me a lying, cheating gold digger. It’s not going to look good now that they know Caden’s my sister’s baby and your label—”
“Can go fuck themselves. I don’t care about any of that. You, me, and Hatch, babe, that’s all I care about. They can say whatever the fuck they want as long as we’re happy together.” I gently pull her head away from my chest and sit back where I can look her in the eye. “I know it’s hard, being in the public eye, and it’s a lot to ask when you’ve caught the brunt of it.”
Her fingers land on my mouth and her smile is everything I need. “Fuck them. You, me, and Caden. That’s what I want too.”
I have to be careful when I pull her into my lap and all I want to do is kiss the hell out of her. She lays her forehead against mine. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
We stay like that as time slides past us, holding each other in front of the fire, and the rest of the day is spent lounging around the cabin, just enjoying each other. I know she’s still in some pain, but the pills seem to help, and she isn’t letting it affect her mood. Now that the decision has been made, we can’t keep our hands off one another, even though it’s nothing sexual. For now. Once she’s better, I’m going to fuck her every way I can think of.
Naomi chuckles at my groan when she chooses a movie. “Hey, we watched your two hours of car chases and things blowing up. It’s my turn.”
