“I love you too.”
She is my blood. My instinct is to protect her. It’s damn near impossible to watch him take her when they go. Every fiber within me wants to keep her here where I know she’s safe. But I can’t.
Thane, Sin, and Mitch are already standing and ready to leave when I return to the dining room. “Wait. Before the council leaves, I have an announcement to make.”
The Breckenridge trio gives me their full attention. “Someone needs to call Alec Ferguson and tell him we’re on the way. I’ve claimed Ellison. Made it official three nights ago and I intend on marrying her as soon as our twenty-eight-day wait is over.”
Sin chuckles and comes over to do the half-hug-handshake-bro thing. “About fucking time, J. My wife has been about to lose her mind thinking her sister was going to be married off to someone else because you were being a dumbass.”
Mitch comes to me and offers a half-hug-handshake. “We knew it was only a matter of time. Damn, I know some brothers who are going to be pissed off about this.”
“They can be pissed off. Ellison is mine. Not a one of them is touching her.”
Thane smiles and slaps me on the back. “Kiss your girl goodbye, son. We have a long night ahead of us.”
Panic spreads across Ellison’s face. “They’re taking you for endurance? Now?”
“Aye.”
“I don’t want them to hurt you.”
I chuckle in hopes of lightening her mood. “I don’t want them to hurt me either, but it’s necessary.”
Ellison presses her forehead to mine. “I don’t want you to go through this.”
“A requirement, I’m afraid.”
“God, I love you so much, Doc.”
“I love you too, Mac.”
Ellison lowers her voice. “Shit, Jamie. We just spent the last three days trying to conceive a baby we could use as the glue to keep us together. Unnecessarily.”
“I know. The irony isn’t lost on me.”
“What are we going to do?”
“Same thing we were going to do anyway. You’re going to take a pregnancy test in eleven days. Regardless of the result, we’ll get married in three and a half weeks.”
Ellison looks at the council and then back to me. “Do you want me to be pregnant?”
“I would be very okay with you being pregnant but if you’re not, that’s fine too. It’ll just give us more time for the two of us.”
Sin ends the call to Alec. “Ferguson’s going to meet us there.”
Tears pool in the lower lids of Ellison’s eyes. “Please don’t cry, baby. I can’t stand it.”
She lowers her face. “I’m sorry.”
I put my finger under her chin and force her to look up. “Listen to me. I need you to stay strong. I’m going to need you to be there for me when this is over.”
“I will not leave your side. I’m going to take care of you.”
“Can you handle being at the site when they’re finished with me? I’m going to need an injection to help manage the pain.”
“I will do anything you need me to do.”
I take my keyring from my pocket and hold it up by the small brass key. “I have morphine in a lockbox in the supply closet.”
“Should I give you ten or fifteen milligrams?”
“Use your own judgment.”
“You’ll get fifteen.” Endurance is going to be hell, but I’m positive Ellison will make sure I’m pain free afterward.
“Someone will come for you when it’s almost over so you can be there to inject me. You should expect the worst.”
Ellison launches herself at me and squeezes hard. My shoulder is still tender but I stifle the groan.
“I have to go, baby.”
“Will they come for me soon?”
“It’ll be hours. Probably early morning. Try to rest if you can.”
“You have to go through hours of torment for me?”
“Endurance takes a while. Go home and get the morphine and syringes and then go stay with Bleu and the babies. I don’t want you to be alone while you wait.”
She nods and the movement causes the pooled tears in her eyes to dribble down her cheeks.
How did I get so lucky to marry a woman who loves me? Just like Sin has with Bleu, true fucking love, and something I never thought possible. Not only will she be mine, she will be mine by choice.
I kiss the wetness on both sides of her face before looking at her eyes. “Into me, you see.”
“Into me, you see.”
* * *
Alec Ferguson secures two metal chains around my wrists. “You and Sinclair don’t make things easy for me when you go and do this kind of thing.”
“How’s that?”
“Both of you are my leaders and your choices in women bring us to this. You couldn’t do me a favor and choose a nice Fellowship lass?” He chuckles.
“Sorry, Alec. I saw her and it was out of my control.”
“I understand, boss. Miss Ellison is a bonny one.” The chain tightens when he uses a pulley to lift my arms over my head and a searing pain ignites in my shoulder. “I don’t enjoy this. I want you to know that.”
“There’s no hard feelings, Alec. I understand it must be done. I knew that when I made the decision to take a non-Fellowship woman as my wife.”
“Ah, you’re marrying Miss Ellison? That won’t go over well with a lot of the brothers. I know a few who were looking to claim her.”
“They can kiss my arse. She’s mine.”
“Spoken like a true mate.”
“How many bairns do you have now?”
“Three. Just found out we have another on the way.”
I wonder if Ellison and I will be finding out we have one on the way.
“Congratulations.”
“We weren’t planning to have another so it was a wee bit of a surprise. It’s taken a little while to get over the shock but we’re very happy now. Shona is hoping for another girl to make it two boys and two girls.”
Two boys and two girls. I like that.
Alec pulls the chain until I’m on the tips of my toes. I can immediately tell how the muscles in my legs are going to burn. “I know ye’re familiar with the process,” Alec says.
“Very familiar.” Sin’s endurance was less than two years ago but I remember it like yesterday. I hope I black out from the pain quickly.
He locks the chain in place and I’m dangling like a punching bag. Fitting since that’s what I’m about to become.
Alec has a routine so I’m expecting the first blow when it lands on my lower back over my left kidney. “Uhh…”
Excruciating. It’s the only word I can think of to describe the pain. If I weren’t hanging from the ceiling like a punching bag, I’d fall on the floor into the fetal position. It’s for Ellison. And that makes it worth it. Every. Fucking. Bit.
“There are times when I really hate this job.”
The next jab is over my right lower back. I thought the first blow was bad but the pain with this one is even worse.
Positive imagery. It’s my only hope for making it through this shite.
I close my eyes and imagine my life with Ellison. I see flashes of our life together. Married. Making love. Her giving birth to our first child, maybe in the very near future.
Those beautiful pictures in my head get me through the punches to my back and gut. And then the first lash of the whip bites the skin of my upper back. “Fuck!”
“It’s not as bad if you relax,” Sin says. “The more you tense, the worse the pain.”
I almost forgot Thane, Sin, and Mitch were here.
“I’ll try, but fuck that stings.”
I inhale deeply and exhale slowly. I try to make my body as lax as possible while I imagine a little girl with an angelic smile and long nearly black hair the color of Ellison’s. I can even see the sections around her face kissed with curls.
The whip bites my skin again. It’s tolerable this time so I dig deeper into my mi
nd to picture an image of our son. He’s a stout boy with my dark brown hair and Ellison’s exotic green eyes. I think he’s older than our daughter. A protective older brother. Yes. I like that very much. Someone to watch over my little angel and keep little Fellowship fuckers away from her.
Our children and Ellison’s smiling face. Those are the last things I see before the pain pushes me into a black oblivion.
Chapter 16
Ellison Macallister
“Here.” Bleu passes Harrison to me. “You can at least walk with Mr. Fretful if you’re going to keep pacing the floor.”
I kiss the top of my nephew’s head. Poor little guy has been fussy all evening. He’s not the only one unsettled around here. Can he sense my anxiety?
“It’s only been a couple hours. They aren’t going to come for you until morning so you might as well come away from the window.” It feels like it’s been much longer.
“I don’t know how to deal with this.” I’m going crazy imagining all the things Jamie must be enduring right now.
“It’s not easy being married to a Fellowship man.”
“It must be ten times worse with Sin being a leader.” Bleu must be a mess every time he walks out the door.
“I’m always terrified for him so I’m really happy about the peace treaty with The Order. It puts everyone in less danger—especially the council members.”
I’m such an idiot. “I’ve been so naïve to believe Jamie was in less danger because he’s The Fellowship doctor and wouldn’t be fighting in the field. That’s not the case at all. His seat on the council will always make him a target.”
“It will but you can take comfort in knowing he’s in less danger now than he was before the treaty.”
Harrison puts his head on my shoulder and his thumb goes into his mouth.
“The patented thumb suck.”
“He’ll be going down soon.”
I can’t believe I could actually have one of these growing inside me right now.
“Jamie and I didn’t know Westlyn and Mitch were going to volunteer. We thought there was a chance Kieran would choose me as his wife. If he did, we knew there was nothing we could do about it so we decided to take a proactive approach to end any prospect of him choosing me.”
“I’m scared to ask but I’m going to anyway. What did you do?”
“It’s possible we just spent the last three days trying to get pregnant.”
Bleu wrinkles her brow. “You’re on the pill.”
“I was on the pill.”
“When did you come off?”
“A week ago—when I was kidnapped.”
“Hmm. You’re the nurse and Jamie’s the doctor, but I don’t think it happens like that. A week off hormonal birth control doesn’t sound like long enough to get pregnant.”
Bleu has done a lot of research about fertility but not the typical kind where in vitro isn’t required.
“We know it could be a hit or miss but we sure gave it our all in the event that I did ovulate.”
“I’m a bit confused. How would spending the last three days trying to get pregnant keep Kieran from choosing you as his wife tonight? You won’t know if you’re pregnant for a couple weeks.”
“Kieran could have Jamie’s claim on me undone because we aren’t married yet. But he can’t undo a baby so we were planning to lie and then hope for two lines when I peed on the stick.”
“And then you never got the chance to lie because Westlyn and Mitch volunteered for the marriage treaty.” Bleu cackles. “Shit, Elli. A baby is a really drastic solution for a problem you ended up not having.”
I’m sure it sounds like a crazy plan now the trouble is over, but the threat of being forced to marry Kieran was very real up until a few hours ago.
“It was a drastic situation… until it wasn’t. And then I had this oh, shit moment.” I may still be having an oh, shit moment.
“What did Jamie say?”
“He said that he would be very okay with me being pregnant. Either way, we’re getting married.”
“Do you want to have a baby right now?”
I rock back and forth from one foot to the other, swaying Harrison. “Part of me does. But then the other part sees how tough parenting is when I look at you, Sin, and the babies and it makes me want to wait.”
“We have extraordinary circumstances. Our household is a clusterfuck most days. Don’t speculate about what you think your life would be like based upon what you see in us or you’ll never have children.”
“I know it wouldn’t be as chaotic as this.”
I turn so Bleu can see Harrison’s face. “Is he asleep?”
“Mr. Fretful is out cold.”
Bleu and the babies go down for the night but there’s no hope of me sleeping a single minute. I couldn’t doze if I tried. I’m too busy living through a real life nightmare.
* * *
The sun is rising when my phone buzzes.
Sterling is on the way.
I go to Bleu’s bedroom and gently shake her awake. “Bleu.” I whisper because I see Harrison weaseled his way into the bed with his mom sometime during the night.
“It’s time?”
“Yes. Sterling is on the way.”
“Okay.” She sits up and rubs her eyes. “I’ll call Isobel.”
“Already here. She came about an hour ago and went back to sleep in the guest room. She said she knew things would move quickly once they sent someone for me. She didn’t want us to have to wait on her to get here.” I’m so grateful Isobel offered to keep the babies so Bleu could go with me.
“God, she’s an amazing mother-in-law. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
I won’t have a mother-in-law like Isobel. Instead I’ll have one who renounced her son. What a bitch. It’s probably best I don’t have contact with her, as there is no way I could put up with her shit anyway.
Bleu slides to the edge of the bed. “I hate to wake Isobel and tell her to move to this bed but Harrison was so bad last night. I don’t want to wake the little monster in case he decides to throw another tantrum.”
“Do you want me to wake her while you get ready?”
“Please. The black site is only about fifteen minutes from here so we don’t have long until Sterling arrives.”
How am I going to do this? If Bleu wasn’t coming with me, I’m not sure I’d cope. Even if I am a nurse.
“Thank you, Bleu. For everything.”
“You can always count on me for anything.” That’s the way it’s always been for Bleu and me.
“I know.”
* * *
I’m a complete wreck when Sterling stops in front of a warehouse. I guess this is what they call the black site.
Damn. This is it. I’m about to see what beaten within an inch of your life looks like—on Jamie. I’m not prepared.
The entryway is dark and the creaking door adds fuel to my already edgy state of mind. It’s scary and intimidating as hell. I can see why The Fellowship would bring their enemies to a place like this.
Sterling leads us to the back of the warehouse. What I see when he opens the door is shocking. Makes me want to scream in horror. Vomit with disgust. Lash out in anger.
Animosity. Hostility. Bitterness. The three spin out of control inside my heart and head when I see Jamie’s bloody, beaten body dangling from the ceiling.
“Get him down from there. Now!” The last word sounds like it comes from an angry mother bear rather than me.
His body is completely limp. I’d question if he were alive if I didn’t see that his skin was still pink and his chest was rising and falling.
A man I’ve never seen lowers Jamie using some kind of chain pulley system. “Have you checked his hands to make sure he has circulation in them?” The man looks at me and says nothing. “He’s a doctor. He needs full use of his hands for God’s sake. You may have caused permanent nerve damage by doing this.”
Sin comes forward to help me move him to th
e floor. “He will be okay, Elli.”
I’m not convinced. “This is appalling, Sin.”
“It’s to be expected with what he endured. You may not approve but it’s what we do.”
It’s so much worse than I anticipated. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand this barbaric practice.”
“Look at him, Elli. All of this was for you. A demonstration of the trust he has in you. An extension of his love.”
“I know.” And it makes me feel so guilty.
His face is swollen and distorted with multiple cuts. He could pass for any head-on collision victims I’ve seen come through the ER. Very little about him looks like my precious Jamie.
He mumbles my name while I’m doing his assessment. “I’m here, Doc. I’m about to give you something for the pain but I need to check your neuro status first.”
I’m checking his pupils when he reaches up to touch my face. “Love… you.” His voice is barely more than a whisper.
“I love you too.”
“Endurance… it’s… done.”
“Yes, it is.”
“You’re… mine. My… mate.”
“I’m all yours, Doc. Forever.”
I do an initial assessment and find no reason to question his neurological status. Thank God. “Baby, I’m giving you a morphine injection in your hip.” He doesn’t even flinch when the needle pierces his skin and enters the muscle.
“I hope you’re coming home with me to help get him up the stairs to the bedroom.”
“Of course. Do you need to go ahead of us to prepare the room?”
“No. I converted our bedroom into a makeshift treatment room when I went to the house to get the morphine.”
“Good move.”
Jamie moans a lot during his transfer to the car and the first half of the ride. He quiets down the last part of the drive so I rest my hand on his chest to monitor his respirations and heart rate until we reach home.
The bed is turned back and ready to receive Jamie. I had no idea what to expect so I prepared for the worse. Good thing since that’s what I’m getting.
Sin Series Stand-alone Novels: Endurance, Unintended & Redemption Page 21
