I shivered at the thought.
My brain was still a mess.
My heart was still trying to process everything.
But my body was ready for another round.
Talk about confusion.
I quickly dressed and made my way downstairs, ready to have the hard talk with my dad that I didn’t want to have but knew was necessary.
He was reading the paper, and it almost looked so normal I wanted to laugh; he was anything but normal.
Even sitting in a chair with his leg crossed, he was lethal.
He probably knew how many steps it took to get from the kitchen door to the bedroom and had at least a dozen weapons hidden by the cereal.
I remembered when I was a kindergartner finding a gun inside the Fruit Loops and frowning at what a shitty prize it was.
That… was a childhood in the Abandonato household.
“Dad?” I poured myself some coffee.
He slowly lowered the paper. His eyes were soft as he took me in, a small smile tugged at his lips. “You were up late.”
Kill me now. I slid down into a chair and then slid farther down as embarrassment washed over me. “Yeah, well… I noticed we’re out of bagels again.”
He choked on his coffee and rasped. “Touché.”
I clinked my coffee mug with his as we both grinned at each other.
“I have something to ask—” I frowned. He had a bandage wrapped around his hand. “Did you get hurt?”
“Merely a flesh wound.” He winked. “What did you need to ask, sweetheart?”
Ash chose that moment to bounce into the room, but he took one look at Dad and me and turned around.
“Sit,” Dad barked.
Ash sat as far away from us as possible, scowling. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was all messy on his head. He looked like he’d either had a ton of sex the night before or spent it drinking and trying to forget his demons. Maybe it was both.
I was instantly worried.
But we all mourned differently.
And I felt guilty that at least the love of my life was alive—different, but alive—and his wasn’t coming back. Not now, not ever.
“Violet.” Dad folded the paper and set it on the chair next to him. “What’s your question?”
I chewed my lower lip. “If I would have come to you, honestly come to you and told you I loved Breaker, would you have let us be together?”
“No.” His eyes softened. “Because Breaker Campisi could have never married Violet Abandonato and lived to tell about it. I wanted something better, someone better. I wanted you to choose, yes, but I didn’t want you to choose someone who couldn’t give you everything that you were born with, and while I know how privileged that sounds, remember, his past was a secret to all of us, a mystery, something that I couldn’t trust when it came to marrying you. Protecting you was one thing, being your friend another, but marrying you? I have to be completely honest; I still don’t know how I feel about it, but things are…” He released a sigh. “…different now.”
“Just because he has a different name?” I wondered.
“Not just that, but he…” Another sigh. “…he saved you, he saved me, Luc, Ariel—and he took his rightful place. He’s where he belongs, and I agree with him that you would have always been a target married to Breaker, and he would not have had the resources to adequately protect you. He would have most likely died young doing that. Now that he’s a boss—”
“He has a fucking army,” Ash finished for him. “Sorry, you were just monologuing so long that I thought I’d help.”
My dad’s eyes narrowed in on Ash. “Care to share with the class why you were dry humping Annie in the shallow end of the pool?”
I nearly spit out my coffee. “You did what? To who?”
“Tell me you at least dumped a gallon of shock and chlorine into the pool afterward, you know Mom likes to do laps there and I highly doubt she wants to swim through your—”
“Dad.” Ash clenched his teeth. “We didn’t… I didn’t… Why does this always happen with us? Must you be so invested in my sex life?”
“Must you be such an exhibitionist?” He shrugged.
Ash tore his gaze away from us. “I pissed her off, she left, I hate her, end of story.”
Dad burst out laughing, shocking me so much I nearly dropped my mug. “Damn, that’s exactly what I was thinking while she rode you like her favorite pony, while she screamed your name and while you nearly bit sucked off her neck multiple times while sucking on her lips… how much you hate her. Sure, I’ll buy it.”
Ash flushed.
He actually flushed.
I looked between them.
Dad shook his head slightly, like silently warning me to leave it.
But how did a person leave that?
“Ash, you know it’s okay to…” I licked my lips. “It’s okay to be happy.”
“No.” He shoved his chair back. “It’s actually not.” He stormed out of the room and ran up the stairs, most likely to find Mom and say good morning like he did every day when he came over for breakfast.
I was the daddy’s girl.
He was a total mama’s boy.
It’s probably why the girls all loved him—he knew how to get them to eat out of the palm of his hand even when it wasn’t on purpose.
“As I was saying…” Dad ignored the outburst. “The only reason he gets to keep you is because he’s a boss, a powerful Petrov boss. He would burn the entire world to keep you safe. He would use every resource, every cent he has, and now he has it all, and he’s able to do it, I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t already have men trained on you.”
I flinched at the thought. “Breaker would have had men too, right?”
“No.” Dad shook his head. “That’s up to the boss. You know how the hierarchy works. At best, he would be a made man, at the worst, he’d be a captain on the Campisi payroll—” He held up a hand. “I take that back. if someone died, he was second in line, but we don’t hope for death in our families, we hope for life, so I wouldn’t have taken that into account.”
I exhaled. “All right then.”
“So.” He folded his arms. “You’ve made your choice?”
“Dad…” I sighed and walked over to him. “You make it sound like I’m choosing him over you.”
“In a way, you are.” Dad’s smile was snide. “But that’s what marriage is.” He stood and pulled me into his arms. “I’m so damn proud of you.”
I sniffled. “I leave in three days.”
His arms tightened around me, and then he whispered, “Sweetheart, if you love him like I know you do, there is absolutely no reason for those three days. You think time will heal, but more often, time just makes us overthink decisions that have already been set in stone.” He kissed my temple. “Go to him.”
“But I have to say goodbye, and I have to pack, and I have to—”
“New life.” He drew back without completely letting me go and winked. “New things. Let him take you shopping, I bet he’d love it, let him help you start your new life in Seattle.” He squeezed my shoulder. “Go to him.”
I frowned. “It’s so confusing when you’re not scary and suddenly make sense.”
He winked. “It’s part of my charm.”
Mom’s snort came up from behind me. “Yes, oh so charming, do tell your daughter how you fell asleep drinking with Valerian last night, woke up and stumbled to bed, and snored all night long.”
“Luc,” Dad growled out her name. But then he reached for her, tossed her over his shoulder, and carried her out of the kitchen, calling back, “Good talk, Vi, I’ve got a busy day.” He slapped Mom on the ass.
I could never unsee the blush on her cheeks.
And then Ash was storming back into the room like an angry tornado looking for houses to break.
“Who pissed in your Cheerios?” I crossed my arms.
His fists were clenched, eyes glazed over.
&n
bsp; I sighed. “Are you high?”
“No.” He gritted his teeth. “I wish.”
“Do you need to get away for a bit?”
His jaw flexed. “What did you have in mind?”
“A little trip to Seattle with your favorite sister?”
“I’m his favorite, but nice try.” Stepping into the kitchen, Izzy yawned and smacked him on the back of the head as she walked by.
I froze. “Izzy, is that a hickey?”
Ash’s eyes widened as the kitchen fell silent. “Iz?”
“Uh…” She gulped, and then Maksim lazily walked into the room, his hair poking out every which way.
Ash lunged.
Izzy screamed.
And Maksim used me as a human shield.
Perfect.
“The hell, Maksim!” Ash roared. “How the hell did you sneak in? We nearly had to put on a porno to get Valerian by!”
“Oh, that.” Maksim winked. “I had impeccable timing.”
Izzy rolled her eyes. “He’s good with his fingers.”
“WHAT?” Ash looked ready to murder.
“Chill.” Izzy grinned. “He’s a climber, duh, he climbed the tree by my window.”
“That tree’s nearly impossible to climb.” Ash glared in my direction as Maksim still hid behind me.
“That’s what she said.” Maksim’s voice lowered. “I have really, really strong fingers, some might say magic.”
“Keep talking, ask me what happens next,” Ash growled.
Junior and Serena walked into the kitchen, and I stared. Had everyone stayed the night last night?
They took in the scene.
Serena’s grin was pure evil while Junior crossed his arms and jerked his head toward Ash. “We killing him or torturing?”
“I’m leaning toward torture.” Ash smiled.
Serena rubbed her hands together. “You know, I slept on your shit couch last night, Ash, and woke up ready to kill you, and you give me this gift? You’re my new favorite cousin.”
“Hey!” I protested.
“Sorry, not sorry.” She winked. “Oh, also word on the street, is Valerian left early this morning. Something happened in Seattle, and Nikolai sent his jet…” Her gaze flicked around the room. “…and why is everyone looking at me like someone died?”
“He left?” The blood drained from my face, and I gulped in a couple of huge breaths. “Already?”
Maksim forgotten, I went and slumped into the chair. “I was going to try to catch him and go with him and—” I stopped talking and then perked up. “You think Dad would let us use his jet?”
Ash’s eyebrows shot up to his forehead. “No, but we could always steal it.”
Junior sighed. “Last time I walked with a limp for two weeks, no thanks.”
“Right, but that was because we went to Vegas,” I pointed out. “Not because we chased after the man I love.”
“Aw…” Serena’s face softened. “I like happy endings.”
“Same.” Maksim chuckled and winked at Izzy.
“I would stop before your blood gets sprinkled over the eggs, bro.” Junior patted him on the shoulder.
“Well?” Ash shared a look with me. “We doing this?”
I stood. “We’re doing it. Plus, Dad’s extremely distracted right now.”
From upstairs, Mom screamed Dad’s name.
We all exchanged looks of sheer horror.
And I’ve never seen so many people scramble out of a kitchen with hot food and coffee in my entire life.
It took us exactly an hour to go grab King, despite his protests, and Tank, despite his grumbling that our dad was going to kill him—but he was like having really good FBI back up, plus he was in this now, because we’d adopted him into our family. Now his allegiance was toward Ash and only Ash. Meaning if Ash said we needed him, he had to drop everything.
I thought Ash was going to shit himself when Annie arrived with Tank by her side, but they were close, and where he went, she went.
Annie looked like she was ready to hurl when the plane took off, and then she looked ready to hurl again when she locked eyes with Ash.
What the hell happened last night?
I looked around at all my family, my friends, and everything suddenly felt right in the world.
This time when we went to Seattle, there were no secrets, no lies, only celebrating in Valerian’s insane mansion.
“So, it’s right on the water?” Ash asked, strategically ignoring Annie while she tried not to steal glances at him. “Does he have a yacht? Because I could really go for that right about now, you know, along with a shit ton of pot so I can pass out and forget last night.”
Annie flinched.
“Ash,” I whispered. “What are you doing?”
“What I must.” He sighed and then put on his noise-canceling headphones and closed his eyes.
He missed the tear that slid down Annie’s cheek.
Just like the murderous glance Tank shot in Ash’s direction as he wrapped an arm around her. He handed her an iPad and headphones like it would distract her from Ash’s meanness.
He’d always had a mean streak because he had to out of necessity, but now… now it felt like he fed off his own cruelty.
Sometimes I didn’t recognize my brother anymore, and it broke my heart. How many more deaths would he cause, or survive before I lost him completely?
With that haunting thought, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, because when I saw Valerian, I expected to be up all night.
I fell into a deep sleep with a smile on my lips, imagining his face.
Chapter Thirty-One
Most enemies hide in plain sight, waiting for the day to step out and fight. —Valerian Petrov
Valerian
I’d been back at the house for a few hours, wondering what the hell was so important that I had to fly back ahead of schedule. I’d sent out a text to Violet, but it wasn’t the same, and it got me thinking, this was why I needed to be in Seattle and yet another reason the men were probably angry that Andrei had been in Chicago.
They needed leadership here.
At their home base.
In their city.
I sighed and looked around my empty office, the couch where Violet had kissed me might as well burn a hole into my skull as memories washed over me.
I had been so afraid that first day when I walked in here, afraid that the memories would be too much. But I should have known Violet would be like a breath of fresh air, and she had been. Every room she walked into, even when she hated me, even when she was scared, it was like she’d been helping me build new memories without even realizing it.
I tapped my cell against my thigh and then tossed it on my desk, next to the picture of my mom that was staring back at me.
I picked it up, my fingers dancing along the front of it like I could still touch her soft face, smell the berry shampoo she used on her bright blond hair. Her smile was huge in the picture like she knew one day I’d need that smile to remind me why I was doing what I was doing.
Because she’d died.
And I’d lived.
“That’s my favorite picture of her,” Sancto said, walking into my office with two glasses of whiskey. He set one in front of me and took his, throwing it back in one full swallow.
Still holding the picture, I looked up. “She was beautiful.”
“She was.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. “It’s such a shame when such beauty gets stolen.”
He stilled. “Why don’t you have a drink? You look stressed.”
I set down the picture and leaned back in my chair, my shoulders tense. “I’m stressed because my wife isn’t going to be here for three full days, and I miss her, so what’s so important that you needed to speak to me in person?”
He eyed my whiskey and then me. “There’s a reason for the alcohol.”
“Perfect.” I gritted my teeth and reached for the glass, downing it just like he did and then wondering why I felt the need to ch
ug it like him, remembering my early training about mimicking others when you’re tired.
Shit.
Something was off with him. His eyes were suddenly wild as he got up and started to pace.
“I always knew you would be loyal, I just never realized how easy all of this would be when the time came.” His smile was sad, and then something flickered in his gaze over my head, the other picture of my mom. “Too bad that loyalty will kill you.” He pressed his hands against my desk and leaned over it as my vision blurred. “You couldn’t just stay hidden with the Italians; no, you had to rise up and take everything from me! The minute the men knew you were alive, they cheered, they celebrated like you came back to life! Like you deserve this!” He pounded his fist against the desk baring his teeth.
I tried to stand and fell back down into my chair, panic rising in my chest as I realized I really was going to lose this one.
I had left early.
Violet wasn’t coming for three more days.
Why the hell didn’t I bring backup?
Nobody expected me back for hours.
My men weren’t here because they thought I was still in Chicago.
Nobody was here but me and Sancto.
Sancto and the ghosts of my mom, my dad, my childhood.
My eyes felt heavy.
He’d drugged me.
I shoved the glass away from me, but my eyes blurred again as whatever he’d given me coursed through my system. The more erratic my heartbeat, the more the drug spread. The more I panicked, the less time I had.
I had to focus.
“Why?” I ground out with difficulty. “Why do this?”
“You killed her!” He roared. “And I loved her! You were a spoiled little shit who couldn’t live without his horse blanket. You made her go back in that house! She would still be alive if it weren’t for you! And then, you come back from the fucking dead and take over the Family when I was this close to stealing the crown from Andrei! I had loyal followers. Loyal men who are now taking your side! The great Valerian Petrov! Back from the dead!”
“Thought you… wanted… this.” Keep him talking, find a way out. But I was starting to see spots in my line of vision; it was like taking a billion Benadryl and then losing all function of my arms and legs.
“So.” He lit a match and grinned. “I figured the only way for you to truly know what she suffered that night, what I’ve suffered for years is to baptize you into the flames and let them finish the job!” He grabbed the white horse blanket my mom had given me from the drawer I always kept it in even though I tried to slap his hands away in a vain attempt to get him to stop. “You need your blanket? Well, fucking take it.” The smell of kerosene was almost sickening, I almost blacked out as he did something and then my blanket was on fire, and he was throwing it in the corner next to the curtains. “I hope you rot in hell. And now your last few memories will be of me, taking back what’s mine, and avenging your mother’s death!”
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