Anabell adjusted her position and rested her cheek on him. She set her palm on his chest, caressing the smooth muscle there. The sound of his heart and the steady rise and fall of his upper body made her feel drowsy and content.
“’Tis sae pleasant; I could stay here forever,” she murmured.
“I’ve never visited a place this peaceful,” he agreed. He swept his eyes across the scenery. “All I’ve known is war and bloodshed.”
“But places like this exist everywhere,” she said. “Perhaps ye never searched them out.”
“There’s some truth in what ye say,” he admitted. His tone had become slightly bemused, and he fell into a thoughtful silence.
But her thoughts also began to drift. Her fingers trailed down to brush absently across his sinewy forearm as she gazed at the wet rocks that were draped in a blanket of moss. It was curious how the boulders surrounding the glen appeared as if they contained faces etched in stone. And she couldn’t help but think that their hideaway was filled with brilliant color and life. Every so often, she caught sight of silver or gold-colored fish swimming past them. But while the fish streaked by, the multicolored pebbles underneath the currents were stationary. It almost seemed as if the fae had lined thousands of gems at the bottom of the burn.
A bird flew overhead, and she raised her eyes to follow its flight. And when it disappeared, her gaze fell to the curtain of water cascading down the rocky incline, spraying the water in every direction. The noise of the water landing in the foaming pool beneath came at a steady tempo. It was loud yet somehow soothing all at the same time. In many ways, these sounds were a part of Nature’s song.
The thought of music suddenly reminded her about the talent Blane displayed at Oswyn’s house.
“Will ye sing for me, Blane?” she asked.
He paused for a moment, and she thought he would refuse her request. But he was only considering his options. When he found his tune, he sang a haunting ballad about their bonnie land. As Anabell listened to his baritone voice, her heart fluttered, and his brogue covered her like a warm embrace. She didn’t know how it was possible, but everything around her seemed more beautiful and perfect. All too soon, the melody finished, and his deep voice faded.
She let out a sigh. “Do ye think ‘tis possible that one can stay content?” As Anabell asked this question, her impending marriage came to the forefront of her mind.
“Why are ye asking?” Blane said curiously as if this idea had never occurred to him.
“I wonder whether one can enjoy happiness forever or if ‘tis only fleeting.”
“I dinnae have an answer tae this,” he frowned. “I might have experienced happiness at one point, but it has been sae long that I have forgotten how it feels.”
“Even now?”
“Nay, now I’m here with ye, I feel at peace,” he said, smiling down at her.
His answer made her heart flip. Admittedly, she disliked him at first, but that changed when she came to understand him. He was tough and intense, but he had a side of him that was also tender and kind. No doubt about it, she had finally found a man she cared about. Indeed, she didn’t come to Scotland looking for love, yet she found it. The mercenary was unlike any man she had ever known, and the more time she spent with him, the more intriguing he became. In this respect, he had the qualities that were perfect in a husband.
But he could never be hers. This realization ripped a gaping hole in her heart, and she had no idea how to fix it. Why oh why wasn’t it Blane that she was to marry? The answer to that question depressed her, and the contentment she felt earlier began to slip away.
“Do ye have any regrets?” she asked Blane as she tried to move away from her upsetting thoughts.
“I dinnae have any regrets about what we did.” He bent his head and nuzzled behind her ear.
A shiver ran through her, and she let out an involuntary groaned. She tilted her head to the side, allowing him more access to the sensitive area. Anabell knew better than to let things progress, but as soon as his lips touched her flesh, all the troubles she had melted, and she wanted to give in to the blissful sensation. He made her feel safe and protected, and she never wanted to leave his strong embrace.
But as much as she wanted to repeat the flood of passion, the dark thought kept intruding at the most inopportune times, and her experience became clouded. She pulled back.
“What’s wrong, Anabell?”
“I have nae regrets about what happened between us.” She stared as the sun reflected off the water, and her throat began to constrict. “I’m sorry that our time together will come tae an end. And all that we’ll have will just be memories.”
“Ye are thinking entirely too much, lass,” he murmured. He drew her back against him and kissed her lightly on the shoulder.
“But ye must admit that I state the truth.”
Blane let out a sigh and stopped his amorous attempts. “Ye shouldnae worry about things coming tae an end,” he said. “Ye should consider your future. Ye have successfully traveled tae Scotland and reunited with your family. ‘Tis obvious that your da and grandmother are proud of ye.”
Anabell sent him a smile, but her heart still felt heavy.
“Perhaps we shouldnae have made love,” he ventured. His brows creased as if he had just considered something. “I must have hurt ye. Ye were a virgin —”
“Nay,” she said, shaking her head. “It wasnae that.”
She became quiet and looked toward the water again, but this time she saw nothing. Not even the beauty of this place could make her forget what was in store for her.
“What’s troubling ye then?” he asked, the concern in his voice becoming more apparent.
Anabell didn’t want to tell him because she knew that once she revealed the truth, their shared moment would end. At the same time, she realized if she kept silent, the situation would sit between them like a stone wall.
“Well?” he said.
“I’m tae be married,” she said, letting out a small sigh.
“Married?” he echoed incredulously. He sat up straighter and twisted her around so she faced him. “I think I heard ye say ye are tae be married.”
His eyes searched hers, looking for evidence that she was making a jest. But she held his gaze, her expression solemn.
“Ye heard me correctly,” she said. “I would have mentioned something earlier, but we were having such a guid time, and I forgot about it. And as ye ken, we got carried away.”
Blane started to move, and she got off his lap. He stepped down from the rock and walked to the river’s edge, gazing blankly at the trees on the other side of the waterway.
“When did this happen?” he asked, his voice sounding strangely choked.
She picked up her discarded dress and put it on.
“Three days ago, when my father arrived,” she said. “He told me about the clan troubles and how I could help end it by marrying his foe.”
“Sae ye plan tae do your duty then,” he said flatly.
“Aye,” she said. “Since I arrived here, everyone has welcomed me with open arms. And I’ve come tae love them not as clan members but as part of my own family. And it pained me to see how war could cause sae much damage tae innocent folk.” She laced her fingers tightly together. “When my father approached me with this proposal, I had tae consider it. Ye see, the marriage is akin tae a truce. The clans can finally come together and find the peace they desire.”
“’Tis a noble cause for ye tae sacrifice yourself.”
Anabell nodded, relieved that he understood her dilemma. She tried to explain why she agreed to enter a union that made her feel unhappy. Of course, the decision was more difficult to accept now that she developed feelings for Blane. Instinctively, she knew she couldn’t dwell on that, so she turned her thoughts to an event that happened earlier today.
“The news will be officially announced tonight, but some people have already heard about it,” she smiled ruefully at the admission. “A town ur
chin came up tae me yesterday and asked whether the news about the marriage was true. And when I confirmed it, he beamed. I had never seen this lad smile sae brightly. The union brings hope, and I’m glad I can help change the lives of my people.”
Blane nodded, and the corners of his lips lifted in response to her enthusiasm. He retrieved his leine and pulled it over his head. Despite herself, she was disappointed when his magnificent form was covered by the fabric.
He turned to retrieve the rest of his clothes and found a spot on the ground to pleat his great kilt.
“When will this joyous event take place?” he asked as he wrapped the material around his waist and belted it.
“In less than two weeks,” she said, looking at him hopefully. “I would like ye tae attend.”
He paused in the middle of adjusting his kilt. The expression on his face suggested that he wanted to refuse her invitation.
“Please,” she said before he could answer. “I would like it verra much if ye would be there. Since our arrival at Dunburn, I’ve come tae view ye and your men as my friends. ‘Twould mean a great deal tae me if ye would all stay for the celebration.” She folded her hands and placed them on her lap. “Will ye stay?”
A part of Blane wanted no involvement in this wedding. He would have passed on the invitation except she looked at him with such hope, and he found it impossible to refuse her.
“Are ye certain ye are making the right decision about this marriage?” He cleared his throat. “Is this what ye really wish?”
He wanted to hear her confess about having doubts about marrying another man, that she had feelings for Blane instead. But her face brightened at his question.
“Aye,” she said, nodding eagerly. “Of course, I was shocked when my father mentioned the idea. But after I saw the logic tae it, I believe this step is best for my clan.”
As he heard the resolve in her tone, his sense of contentment diminished further, and in its place, was a jumble of unfamiliar emotions. The idea of marriage never occurred to him. Yet the thought of Anabell belonging to another man — he didn’t like it at all.
But Blane saw that it was unlikely that she would withdraw from the plan. She had the same stubborn expression as when he first met her at Caleith. He took a deep breath, knowing that he needed to let her go. He meant nothing to her.
He listened politely as she went into a little detail about the powerful chief that she was to marry. But in truth, Blane didn’t want to know anything about the other man. The less he knew about him, the better.
“I wish ye nothing but the best in this union,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “And ye do us much honor by inviting my friends and I tae the celebration.”
As he heard himself wishing her well, his heart felt empty. He had shared a magical bond with her. He doubted that he would ever feel this level of connection with any other woman. Once upon a time, he lived a normal life. His head was full of dreams and ambitions. He had fostered at Eanruing MacGregon’s household, and he enjoyed his time at Tancraig Castle.
But when his family was killed, any happiness he had was stripped from him. It was a betrayal of sorts to live while those he loved perished. And the guilt of being alive caused him to throw himself into his work.
Years later when Blane left Tancraig Castle, he never allowed himself to relax. The thoughts of military strategies, war conferences, and battle training continuously occupied his mind. He sought to improve himself and elevate his combat skills until he was one of the most feared warriors in Scotland. His reputation was forged through sheer determination, and he defended it with his blade. In the end, very few willingly challenged him. But with Anabell, he felt no need to fight or wrestle with his demons. He felt no need to prove himself. All he wanted was to immerse himself in the quiet moments with his enchanting lass.
But it appeared now that he had made a mistake. He shouldn’t have let down his guard. A minute ago, he was content, and now he felt the complete opposite. He was used to fighting and using his single-minded focus to win battles. This emotional swing was unreasonable and foreign to him. And it wasn’t what he wanted or needed.
Blane turned and walked closer to the water’s edge. His thoughts were darker and more erratic. He needed to stop this line of thinking and regain control of himself. He bent and scooped water from the burn and splashed it on his face. The cold water stung him and momentarily stopped his unwanted thoughts. He stood up and wiped the water from his face.
Anabell climbed down from the flat rock and went to him. “Thank ye for your words of encouragement, and for agreeing tae stay for the wedding,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. “And thank ye for giving me this glorious day. I shall never forget it.”
For a split second, Blane closed his eyes, allowing himself to feel her soft body pressing against his hard frame.
A bird squawked overhead while the sound of rushing water flowed near his feet. He fully accepted that at this very instant, Anabell MacNeadain was his. But even as he contemplated this idea, a more realistic and insidious thought intruded in his mind. In less than two weeks, Anabell would belong to another man.
“We should return tae the castle,” he said, carefully extracting himself from her embrace. “Lady Beitris will wonder where ye have gone.”
Chapter 17
Anabell had opened her eyes and was struck by the fact that two weeks had passed quickly. And even worse, the wedding was set for tomorrow.
She turned to her side and saw Maggie asleep in her usual place next to her bed. Not wanting to disturb her friend, she quietly got up, dressed, and slipped out of her bedchamber.
Her first intention was to head straight toward the solar. After all, Lady Beitris expected her in the private chamber every morning. Her grandmother had decorated the space with tapestries depicting religious scenes and furnished it with exquisitely carved wooden fixtures. But the room was uncomfortable and hot. Even with plenty of sun entering from the main window, her grandmother liked to keep the fireplace lit.
Anabell winced at the thought of being trapped in the sweltering chamber while millions of ideas raced through her head. All week she had been plagued with restlessness, and being in the small solar only made matters worse. The castle felt stifling, and the only remedy was being outdoors.
But before she headed toward the stairwell, she looked guiltily over her shoulder. If her grandmother caught her, she would insist that Anabell went straight to the solar. These were her final hours of freedom, and Anabell couldn’t allow herself to be imprisoned just yet.
Luck favored her as she found the hallway clear. But her relief was shattered when she heard the sound of rapid footsteps echoing behind her. A moment later, Maggie called out her name.
She groaned and reluctantly waited for her nursemaid to catch up to her. She had probably slipped out of her bedchamber too often, and her companion had caught on.
“I awoke and found ye gone,” Maggie said, panting. “Why dinnae ye wake me up?”
“Ye have been working sae hard. I thought ye could use some rest.”
Maggie shook her head as if to dismiss the concern. “The solar is in the other direction,” she said.
“I was thinking of visiting the garden.”
“Ye are going alone?” Maggie’s brow creased for a moment. “I’ll be coming with ye.”
“All right,” Anabell said, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to stop her nursemaid from trailing her.
Minutes later, they strolled out into the courtyard, and the oppressive feeling she felt earlier lifted. The morning was pleasant. And except for the guards making their rounds and a couple of servants doing chores, few people were on the grounds.
Maggie began to hum as she moved. Anabell listened to the cheery tune, feeling comforted. Her nursemaid was one of the first people to know about the marriage. She recognized that no matter what, her friend would never judge her.
“Maggie, be honest with me. Do ye think the Cunningtoun is a guid
man?” she asked. All the questions she had suppressed about the laird came to the forefront, and for some reason, she wanted assurance.
The song died in Maggie’s throat, and she stared at Anabell as if she couldn’t understand why she was being asked this question.
“I dinnae have personal knowledge of the man,” Maggie said carefully. “Although I suppose a guid number of people might think he’s a fine leader. After all, he’s been their chief for many years.”
Anabell nodded, although her nursemaid’s answer didn’t fully satisfy her.
“Have ye seen Blane lately?” she asked, deciding to change the topic.
“I believe he’s with his men,” Maggie said. “The other day, I asked him why they’re always training. He told me he cannae allow anyone in his Company tae get soft. Can ye imagine that? I gather that as mercenaries, they need tae be in peak condition at all times.”
“That would make sense,” Anabell said, her tone slightly distracted.
Why was Blane talking to Maggie but not to her? Was he avoiding her? But the idea was silly, Anabell told herself. Blane and his friends had agreed to attend the wedding. There was no reason for him to avoid her.
However, even as she tried to convince herself that everything was fine with Blane, she acknowledged that he wasn’t the same man who had made love to her. On the few occasions she bumped into him, he appeared quite civil toward her. Somehow, though, she sensed his withdrawal. Likely, he was only staying for the wedding. Once the ceremony was finished, he would be gone from her life. The idea of never seeing him again caused her to feel an ache in her chest, but she quickly swept the sensation away. At least they shared a moment together, she reminded herself. Even if her marriage to James Cunningtoun was an unhappy one, she would always remember her special time with her lover.
Maggie tugged at her sleeve, pulling her out of her thoughts.
“I think that’s the Cunningtoun,” she whispered.
She looked in the direction her nursemaid indicated. Anabell’s heart plummeted when she saw the troop of men that entered the courtyard. At that moment, the reality of her situation registered fully in her mind. The clansmen wore distinctive patterns on their great kilts, clearly marking them as members of the Cunningtoun clan.
Highland Engagement Page 13
