‘Don’t be daft. She only puts on all those complaints. She’s got years in her yet.’
Ruby shook her head. ‘That’s neither here nor there. I want you to wipe a flannel over your face and pull on your best shirt – and hurry,’ she snapped, as he stood in front of her looking puzzled.
‘You don’t mean I’ve got to come with you?’
‘It may be the last time we see her alive, and I want her to go to her maker thinking we are a united family. She doesn’t want to be fading away listening to what you’ve been up to. I don’t want the nurses and doctors knowing, either. What happens at home should stay there.’
Eddie glared at Ruby. ‘Then you stop your nagging. Even the old girl next door asked me about my job. She must have been listening to you, as I’ve not been talking to her.’
‘She’s just a lonely, nosy old woman,’ Ruby said, shaking her head and pushing him towards the kitchen sink so he could wash. ‘If she knows anything, it’s because she’s had her ear to the wall, or she’s got it from elsewhere. If you didn’t get up to no good, you’d not have cause for concern. Now, I’ll be out the front with George. Hurry yourself or we’ll be too late,’ she hissed, leaving him to mutter to himself as he washed his face.
Entering the cottage hospital by the front door, Ruby was again impressed by the high ceilings and the quiet way she was approached by a woman in a severe black dress, who reminded her of a nun. However, she couldn’t shake off the memory of visiting the hospital to enquire after Doctor Hind and where her baby’s body would have been taken. She did her utmost to push the thought to the back of her mind. ‘I’m here to enquire about my mother, Mrs Millicent Tomkins. She was brought in about an hour ago.’
‘In a wheelbarrow,’ George piped up, causing Eddie to laugh loudly, then shut up just as quickly when given a stern look by Ruby.
‘She was taken poorly down by the river while out walking with my son,’ Ruby explained, trying her best to mind how she spoke. She didn’t want anyone thinking they were common. ‘My mother lives with us, a few streets away in Alexandra Road,’ she added, hoping it would impress the woman and she’d look on them favourably.
‘If you would like to wait, I will see how your mother is,’ the woman said, before disappearing through a side door.
‘This place gives me the willies,’ Eddie said, twisting his cap in his hands. ‘I’ll wait outside.’
‘You will stay where you are,’ Ruby murmured, placing her hand on George’s shoulder and grabbing Eddie’s sleeve with the other. ‘We are here for my mother, so forget about how uncomfortable you feel and think of someone else for once.’
‘I don’t like hospitals,’ he muttered back.
‘Who does? But it’s not for us to be selfish at times like this. How would you feel if you were unwell in hospital and no one visited you because they didn’t like hospitals? You’d soon have something to gripe about then.’
Eddie opened his mouth to answer but stopped as a man appeared, followed by a nurse wearing the most elaborate starched cap Ruby had ever seen. The man held his hand out to Eddie. ‘I’m Doctor Gregson. Your mother is extremely poorly, I’m afraid . . .’
Ruby stepped in front of Eddie. ‘She’s my mother. Is she going to die?’ she asked, forgetting for a moment that George was with them. She was soon reminded when he burst into a fresh flood of tears.
‘Nurse, would you take the young man to the children’s ward, please? This is no place for him at the moment.’
George fought and screamed as the nurse tried to take his hand. ‘Leave me alone. I want to stay here with my mum and see my nan pop her clogs,’ he yelled.
The doctor bent down until he was face to face with George. ‘Now, young man. Do you like trains?’
George stopped creating a fuss and looked at the man. ‘What kind of trains?’
‘Wooden trains that run on a track. We have a splendid one in the room next to the children’s ward. A father of one of our patients donated it to say thank you for making his little girl better. Would you like to play with it?’
George thought for a moment. ‘You make people better?’
The doctor looked bemused. ‘But of course we do.’
‘And they don’t pop their clogs?’
The doctor laughed and ruffled George’s hair. ‘He’s a bright lad, isn’t he?’ he said to Ruby as he stood up.
‘We think so,’ Ruby replied, thankful that George had calmed down. As much as she loved her son, she wanted to see her mum.
‘Take him along to play with the train, Nurse,’ he said as he held out his arm for Ruby to accompany him back through the door.
Ruby looked at Eddie and gave him a nod to follow her. She didn’t trust him not to run off. With her heart beating faster than it had ever done before, she followed the doctor into the ward. Looking around her, she tried to identify her mum, but the women in the beds all looked the same, with the crisp white sheets pulled up to their chins as they rested. ‘Where is she?’ she whispered.
They were led to the end of the ward, where a green screen was pulled round the last bed. At this point the doctor stopped. ‘I’m afraid your mother is very unwell. All we can do is make her comfortable. She has been calling for you.’
Ruby fought back tears as she hurried to Milly’s bedside and sat on a wooden bench close to the bed. Taking Milly’s hand and squeezing it tight, she held it to her chest. ‘I’m here now, Mum. Whatever have you been doing to yourself?’
Milly’s eyelids fluttered as she heard her daughter’s voice. Ruby had never seen her look so pale and old. Deep shadows around her eyes and a blue tinge to her lips showed how ill her mother was. A white bandage hid most of her grey hair. ‘You got here, then?’ she whispered. ‘I thought I’d be gone before you arrived.’
‘Don’t talk like that, Mum. The doctor will soon have you up on your feet and fighting fit, just you wait and see,’ Ruby said brightly, forcing a smile.
‘You think what you want . . . if it makes you feel better . . . but I’ll not see . . . dawn break tomorrow,’ Milly said, taking weak breaths between her words. ‘Now, I want you . . . to do a couple of things . . . for me.’ She gripped Ruby’s hand and swallowed hard.
‘I’ll do whatever you want,’ Ruby promised as she held a cup of water to Milly’s lips.
Milly turned her head away, refusing the liquid. ‘There’s a box under my bed at home . . . if you look inside . . . you’ll see . . . some things I want you to have,’ she said stopping to take a shuddering breath. She closed her eyes for a little while before continuing. ‘In my old purse . . . you’ll find the money I hid . . . from that bastard husband of yours. Make sure he doesn’t get his hands on it . . . it’s all yours, so don’t go sharing it with your sisters.’
Ruby couldn’t answer, as tears streamed down her face. ‘I’ll get the word to Fanny and Janie to come and see you,’ she said, looking behind her and hoping Eddie had heard. ‘Can you do that for me, Eddie?’
‘No . . . get him out of here,’ Milly gasped as she tried to sit up. ‘Don’t trust him further . . . than you can spit . . . I always thought . . . I always thought he was a good one . . . I was wrong.’ She raised her hand and pointed towards him. ‘Change your ways . . . Eddie Caselton . . . I swear I’ll find you from my grave . . . and chase you to yours.’ She gasped out the last of the words before collapsing back onto the pillow.
‘It’s best you take George home. I don’t want Mum distressed more than she is already,’ Ruby said without looking round.
Milly turned her face to Ruby. ‘There’s some more money in the box . . . it’s not a lot . . . but it’ll help you . . . give me a decent send-off . . . I’ve been putting . . . a copper or two by since . . . since I was told . . . about my dicky ticker . . . I didn’t want . . . to be a burden to you.’
‘Mum, you have never been a burden to me and shouldn’t be worrying about such things at the moment. You need to rest.’
Milly gave a weak laugh. ‘I’ll b
e resting aplenty before too long . . . There’s something else . . . you will find an envelope and my will . . . stitched into the lining of . . . my Sunday coat. There’s more money there too . . . If that’s not enough . . . you are to sell all me bits and pieces . . . to make up the difference. But what’s left . . . if anything . . . is all yours . . . no need to tell your sisters. They are doing all right . . . without my help . . . You’ve been a proper daughter to me . . . not like those two with their posh houses up in Bexleyheath. Promise me?’ she begged, still gripping Ruby’s hand.
Ruby stroked Milly’s cheek. ‘I promise. Please don’t fret. Why don’t you close your eyes and rest for a while? Fanny and Janie will be here before too long,’ she murmured, hoping that Eddie had the sense to rush to let them know.
Milly closed her eyes, but continued to grip Ruby’s hand tightly. ‘They’d best hurry,’ she said, before falling into a deep sleep.
Apart from a nurse who looked in occasionally to check on Milly, Ruby sat alone with her thoughts. She never let go of her mum’s hand, giving a gentle squeeze now and then, whispering a few words to assure Milly she was still there by her side. Tea, left by a thoughtful ward orderly, went cold as she thought back to her childhood, which had been spent mainly alone with Milly after her sisters, who were much older, went out to work, then married and rarely visited. There was never much money without a husband and father to provide for them, but they got by.
‘Thank you, Mum. I may not have said it very much, but thank you for caring for me and trying not to judge too much when I married Eddie after I fell with our George. I didn’t mean to shame you . . .’ Ruby didn’t know if Milly could hear her words. Perhaps not, as Milly never stirred.
As the sun dropped in the sky and nightfall gradually darkened the screened-off section of the ward a nurse appeared with a small oil lamp and set it down on the wide window ledge. ‘Am I able to stay?’ Ruby asked, thinking that she would be sent home for the night. She was surprised she’d not been dismissed before now, as the signs she’d spotted in the entrance hall had strict visiting times for family.
Milly’s eyelids fluttered and opened. ‘Where . . . am . . . I?’ she murmured faintly.
‘It’s all right, Mum. You had a fall earlier and your ticker’s been playing up. If you rest up you’ll be home before too long,’ Ruby reassured her, wondering if perhaps Milly had turned a corner and was getting better.
Milly took a shuddering breath. ‘Nah . . . my Bert . . . he’s waiting for me,’ she said, looking past Ruby towards the window. ‘Look . . . look there . . .’
Ruby felt fear grip her stomach. ‘But, Mum. Dad – well, Dad died before I was born. Don’t you remember?’
Milly continued to smile for a few seconds more. Her eyes twinkled just like they did when she’d had a bit of a knees-up and a tot too much of something down the pub. ‘Bert . . .’ she murmured, before sighing her last breath and sinking into the pillows.
‘Mum – no, Mum!’ Ruby sobbed, throwing herself onto the still body and hugging her mum for all she was worth. ‘Don’t leave me, Mum, please don’t leave me . . . You’ve got to wait to see Fanny and Janie, and in the morning George will be coming to visit you. Mum . . .’
The gentle arms of a nurse took Ruby by the shoulders and pulled her away from her mother. A second nurse bent over to check Milly before closing her eyes and pulling the white bed sheet up under her chin. ‘She had a peaceful death, Mrs Caselton,’ she said, turning to give Ruby a hug. ‘What a lucky lady she was to have such a devoted daughter.’ She handed her a handkerchief.
Ruby took a few more deep shuddering sobs before doing her utmost to calm herself. The patients in their beds just the other side of the screens didn’t need to be wakened by her crying or be aware someone had passed away. ‘My sisters need to know,’ she finally managed to say.
‘There is a lady waiting outside. She’s been there some time, but insisted on waiting.’
‘It must be one of my sisters. Why wasn’t she allowed in? She’s missed saying goodbye,’ Ruby said, feeling suddenly angry.
‘No, it is your neighbour – a Mrs Green. Unfortunately our usual rules don’t permit people to enter the ward out of hours, but she insisted on staying. One of my colleagues gave her a hot drink,’ the nurse explained, seeing that Ruby looked puzzled. ‘It takes a good friend to wait so patiently and for so long.’
Ruby was thoughtful. ‘Do you think she could come in and pay her respects to Mum?’
The two nurses looked at each other and, without speaking, one left Milly’s bedside. She returned a few moments later with Stella.
‘Oh, my poor love. You’ve had so much heartache,’ Stella said as she sat beside Ruby and rocked her in her arms. The two nurses disappeared, leaving them alone with Milly.
Once Ruby had composed herself she turned to Stella. ‘Mum looks very peaceful, doesn’t she? This may sound daft, but . . . right at the end, she spoke to me.’
‘They often do have a few lucid moments. Did it make sense, what she said?’
‘She told me my dad was here. Do you think he came for her?’
Stella looked towards Milly and the smile that showed on her lips. ‘I’ve heard it said that can happen. How long has it been since your dad . . .?’
‘He was in the army and he died overseas a month before I was born. I never knew him, and my sisters don’t talk about him. They must have been between ten and twelve years of age, so they would remember our dad. I’ve always thought they had a secret that they alone shared and chose to keep from me. I’d love to have known more about him.’
Stella shook her head in sympathy. ‘There’s nothing stranger than folk. You know, my Wilf has six brothers and not one of them sees us from one year to the next. It doesn’t worry him one little bit, but I used to stay awake nights worrying about it. I thought family stuck together through thick and thin.’
‘Does it really not bother him?’ Ruby asked as she glanced at her mum lying peacefully in the bed. She half expected her to sit up and ask a few questions too, as she never missed a tasty morsel of gossip.
‘He says it doesn’t, but I know deep down he’s hurt badly.’
Ruby felt she was truly her mother’s daughter as she asked. ‘But what happened for the family to ignore him – that’s if you don’t mind saying?’ It was a shock to hear that the family living over the road from her had such turmoil in their life. The Greens seemed the perfect family, with three bright sons and a doting mother and father. Who would have thought that if you peeled back the layers, their life wasn’t quite so rosy?
‘Oh, it’s a long story, but – being the eldest son, the family business passed to my Wilf. As much as he would have liked to, there was not enough business for him to take on all of his brothers. Also, since he alone had worked with his father on the tugboat, he refused to sell up and divide the money, as several of my sisters-in-law suggested. The whole thing left a bitter taste in my mouth and gradually it split the family. Wilf thought that when our lads were old enough, they’d like to join him in the business. As it is, none of them are interested. Perhaps we should’ve sold up after all,’ she sighed. ‘Family can be so strange.’
Ruby agreed. ‘I’m sorry for your troubles. If there’s anything I can do at any time, please let me know. In the short while I’ve known you, you’ve been a good friend to my family,’ she said, glancing to her mother for a final time before bending down and kissing her cheek. After a moment, she added, ‘I suppose I should get back home. Eddie will be starting to wonder where I am, and George is no doubt refusing to sleep until he hears how his nanny is. This news is going to break his heart.’
Stella kissed Milly’s forehead and followed Ruby from the screened-off area. Walking quietly out of the ward, they stopped to thank the nurses. Ruby told them that she would be contacting the funeral director first thing in the morning.
As they stepped outside, Stella said: ‘Your George is at our house, as it happens. Eddie dropped him over e
arlier and asked if I would keep an eye on the lad, as he had things to do. That’s how I knew what had happened to Milly and came hurrying round to the cottage hospital to be with you. My boys promised to look after George, and to feed him. Frank said they would make up a bed for him in our front room if he became tired.’
‘That’s very good of them,’ Ruby said gratefully as they linked arms and hurried back to Alexandra Road. It was now the early hours of the morning and there was hardly a soul about, which felt strange when they were so used to seeing Erith bustling with people. ‘Eddie must have gone to tell my sisters. It seems strange they never arrived at the hospital, though. Perhaps with it being so late, they are sitting at my house waiting for news?’
They turned the corner of Alexandra Road and could see number thirteen. The house was in darkness. As they arrived at Ruby’s gate, she stopped to rummage for the house key in her bag and to thank Stella for her support. Stella was just saying that she would accompany Ruby in the morning to give her support while she arranged her mother’s funeral, when Frank came out of her front door and hurried over. Stella quickly explained that Milly had passed away.
‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ Frank said to Ruby. ‘If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. I came out to tell you that George is sound asleep. To begin with he was fretful; then sleep caught up with him in the end.’
Ruby thanked Frank. ‘But why hasn’t Eddie come over to collect him?’ she wondered, looking at their house. ‘Surely he’s not gone to bed?’
‘We’ll come inside with you to check everything is all right,’ Stella said, taking the keys from Ruby’s hand and opening the front door.
Ruby could see at once that Eddie’s coat was missing from the hooks on the wall. He never got on with her sisters, so it was unlikely that he was still at one of their houses. A sudden thought gripped her. ‘Oh, please God, no,’ she cried as she ran upstairs to her mother’s bedroom. On the bed was the ornate box in which Milly had kept her few cherished possessions, normally stashed under the bed for safety. Ruby picked it up and checked to see if there was anything inside. It was empty. All that remained scattered on the bed was a broken brooch and a faded letter, sent long ago, informing her of Bert’s death while on duty. Ruby sank to her knees and sobbed into the eiderdown bedspread.
A Mother Forever Page 10
