Pat hurried upstairs and looked out of the front bedroom window to watch her mother walk to the end of the road and turn right to head down Manor Road towards the marshes and the munitions factory. ‘Good, she’s gone. I thought she’d never go,’ she muttered aloud.
Hurrying back downstairs, she opened the front door and rushed out to the gate. Waving to a figure standing at the top end of the road, she left the door ajar and went back inside to put the kettle on the hob.
‘Anyone home?’ a deep voice called.
‘Come in, Daddy, you don’t have to wait on the doorstep,’ she grinned as Eddie Caselton walked into number thirteen.
Ruby stepped out at a brisk pace. She hoped Herbie had waited for her. It had become the norm for him to wait in his motor car further down Manor Road so they could chat on the way to work. She’d promised to give him her answer today, and whatever she decided would cause ripples in her life and possibly alienate loved ones.
Up ahead, she spotted him leaning against the car, smoking a cigarette. She waved and walked faster as he stubbed it out, walking a few steps to meet her. ‘I’m so sorry. I hope you haven’t been waiting long?’ she said as he pulled her close and kissed her cheek.
‘It felt like a lifetime,’ he smiled, opening the door for her.
Ruby enjoyed the attention of this handsome man. It had been so long since she’d received attention from the one man who meant something to her – Eddie. ‘Pat was dragging her heels as usual,’ she sighed as the car headed out of Erith towards Dartford. Although the marshes were close to Erith, there was not a road passable by car.
‘I take it you’ve not told her about us yet?’
‘Not in so many words, but she knows you take me to work in your car. She’s no idiot, Herbie.’
‘Then tell her I love you and want us to live together, and that you will seek a divorce from Eddie.’
‘Give me more time,’ she whispered. ‘Aren’t you happy the way things are?’
Herbie swore as a child stepped into the road, causing him to swerve. ‘No, it’s not enough for me. I’ve told my boys I have a lady friend, and they want to meet you. I know people are gossiping about us at work. I just want to make an honest woman of you, and for us to live together as man and wife. I’m not one for skulking about and snatching a few stolen hours here and there. I know we agreed you would make your decision by this evening when we meet – but surely you know by now?’
Ruby felt her stomach flip with anxiety. She’d forgotten about meeting Herbie later. Did this mean she didn’t care for him? ‘I’m sorry, but I’m taking Pat to the picture house this evening. She’s been more than difficult lately, and I really need to keep her happy if I’m to drop a bombshell about us.’
Herbie shook his head in desperation. ‘I do wonder sometimes if you really love me, or if I’m just a convenient person to have around?’
Ruby was taken aback by his outburst. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way. I truly have affection for you . . .’
‘But you still carry a torch for Eddie?’ he interrupted.
She was annoyed at the interruption. ‘I was about to say that I have enjoyed our courtship, but that we are not love’s young dream. We both have children to consider – and I believe we both hold a torch for our past loves,’ she added, knowing Herbie still had fond thoughts for his deceased wife.
He gave a sarcastic laugh. ‘My dear, the difference is that you are carrying a torch for someone who is still alive.’
Ruby was thoughtful as they travelled in silence. Herbie had hit the nail on the head. She did still love Eddie, and in the years since she’d seen him, he’d never been far from her thoughts. However, she enjoyed Herbie’s company. Even if their relationship didn’t have the passion of her first love, she found the comfort and the companionship she had with him consoled her now that she’d lost Eddie.
They’d fallen into a pattern over several years of travelling together for work and the occasional trip, but she had no wish to introduce her daughter to a man friend if the romance did not work out. If Pat, who seemed old for her years, suspected anything, she’d never said. There was the occasional jibe about Herbie being her boyfriend, but it was more a childish joke then anything concrete. Pat knew only that Ruby’s boss would drop her home after work on the odd occasion she worked late. That was, until two days ago, when Ruby had told Pat over their evening meal that Herbie was a little more than just her boss and wanted them to become a couple.
Pat had been outraged. ‘But you are still married to my dad,’ she threw back at Ruby. ‘He has no right to want to go courting with you.’
‘I’m only married in name, love. Me and your dad have not even spoken for over three years.’ She didn’t tell Pat that Eddie had written to say he was coming out of prison and wanted to see her. She’d torn up the letter and thrown it onto the fire. Even then, there were times in the months that followed when she’d wondered if she had done the right thing. A small part of her longed for the Eddie she knew.
Pat had said little more, although Ruby was aware the child was not happy. Ruby knew that Herbie was almost at the end of his tether and wanted an answer. For some unknown reason, she’d told him she would give him an answer by the eighteenth of February. It had seemed far enough away to give her time to think about the future, as she knew she couldn’t string him along much longer.
Trying to imagine life without Herbie, she knew it would feel empty, what with so many of her friends having moved away. Doreen and Jean no longer worked at Gilbert’s; Cissie had given birth to two more children in quick succession, and now that her life was full with her new husband and babies, she and Ruby no longer had much in common. This saddened Ruby, but she accepted it; with the passing of the war, so many people’s lives had moved on.
Just before Christmas, Frank and Stephen had sat her down and explained with much kindness that they had decided to move to the coast. They’d insisted she must visit them often in their new home in Eastbourne, where they had purchased another bookshop. As Frank had said, they would have a fresh start, away from gossips and people who knew their business – and the sea would be within walking distance. He never spoke of what he’d seen while away at war, but now his face was lined and his hair prematurely grey. He and Stephen needed to feel as though they were set up and ready for their old age. Ruby was heartbroken, but couldn’t tell them so; instead, she had joked that as she wasn’t much younger than Frank, old age seemed a rather feeble excuse. It was then that Stephen had explained he was ill, and the sea air had been prescribed by his doctor for the chest problems that had haunted him all his life.
In some ways, Ruby felt as though she’d been abandoned; apart from Pat, everyone she knew had moved away from Erith. No wonder, then, that she clung to Herbie even though she wasn’t necessarily ready to make a commitment. She was loath to lose his friendship.
As the motor car pulled into the grounds of the factory, Ruby took a deep breath. It was only fair to tell Herbie of her decision. As she opened her mouth to speak, a man came running from the office block, waving his arms for Herbie’s attention.
‘I wanted to say . . .’ Ruby began.
‘What’s wrong, Dick?’ Herbie asked as he rolled down the window, ignoring Ruby’s words.
‘Sorry, boss, we’ve got a problem with the clocking-in machine. I wanted to catch you before you went off on your inspection of the sheds.’
Herbie got out of the vehicle and, with a quick backward wave to Ruby, started to walk away.
‘Herbie, I want to tell you . . .’ Ruby faltered, not sure if she should continue talking to his back.
‘I’ll see you when I reach your shed,’ he called back.
‘I was going to say yes . . .’ she all but whispered as she watched him walk away. Ruby turned and went to shed number six to start her work.
‘So, how’s my girl?’ Eddie asked as he took a gulp of the hot tea she’d placed in front of him.
Pat beamed at her dad. This was
the third time she’d seen him since he’d left prison. ‘I’m worried. That’s why I sent you the postcard,’ she said, offering him a biscuit. ‘I made these myself.’
Eddie shook his head and smiled. It surprised him how old Pat seemed. She was so like her mum, and at only twelve years of age she spoke like an adult. ‘Your postcard said you’re worried that your mum has a man friend?’
Pat leant her elbows on the table and cupped her chin in her hands. ‘If we don’t stop this, I have a feeling she will marry him, and then you’ll never be able to move back home and be a proper dad to me. We have to do something now,’ she said in earnest. ‘Don’t you want to be a part of this family again?’ she asked crossly as he laughed at her words.
‘My love, I’ve tried to be a part of this family over so many years – but between me and your mum, we keep messing up. Since I’ve been out of prison and in a proper job, I’ve written and begged her to meet me. But she ignored my letters,’ he said. He didn’t mention that Ruby had replied just the once to say she still loved him and always would, but feared he would never change his ways and so would not read any more of his letters.
‘She throws them onto the fire. That’s how I found your address, when one hadn’t burnt through properly.’
‘I’m pleased you did. At least we can keep in touch. But you shouldn’t be playing with fire.’
Pat rolled her eyes. ‘I don’t believe you understand how serious this is, Dad.’
But I do, Eddie thought to himself as he humoured his daughter. If what Pat said was true – and he had no doubt she was telling the truth – then he was about to lose Ruby forever. Since he’d last written to his wife, he’d secured a good job as a milkman and had moved into lodgings, the very same ones where he’d stayed before he’d joined up. All he needed was for Ruby to understand that he meant what he’d promised.
‘I’ll need to get back to work soon, love. I’ve parked the milk cart up at the top of the road and I don’t want my horse breaking loose and talking off with the milk, as my customers won’t be at all pleased,’ he grinned. Seeing her glum face, he added, ‘I do appreciate how worried you are, love, and I intend to do something about it very soon.’ His thoughts turned to the money he’d put aside; that surely would show Ruby he’d changed his ways. ‘Now, why don’t you show me what you’ve been up to at school? This time next year you’ll be thinking about leaving and finding yourself some work. Will you go down the munitions factory to work with your mum, or would you like me to find you work at the dairy?’
Pat scoffed at his words. ‘I’m going to work on the farm over Slades Green way, where I help out now. You’ll not catch me working down at Gilbert’s – especially not if he’s my boss,’ she pouted.
‘By “he” I suppose you mean your mum’s boyfriend?’ Eddie laughed.
‘Why are you laughing? Don’t you realize he could take Mum away from you forever?’
‘My darling daughter, your mum has not been mine for many years. I’m not sure she will ever speak to me again, let alone continue to be my wife. Perhaps you need to understand that adults can grow apart?’
Much as Eddie hoped his words wouldn’t come true, he felt he ought to prepare Pat for the possibility. She might not get her own way and see her parents together – ever. Seeing her eyes start to water and a sob escape before she started to cry inconsolably, he hurried to her side and pulled her to him, rocking her back and forth. ‘Come on, now, there’s no need for this. I’ll do my best to make your mum see sense.’
As her tears slowly subsided, a shout could be heard from outside, followed by screams. They both rushed to the door – and before Eddie could ask what was happening, a grumbling explosion could be heard from the direction of the river.
Ruby had gone to shed number six to check the girls under her supervision had set to with their work. A happy group, they seemed to enjoy the job of prising open the Verey Light cartridges and emptying out the explosive powder, placing the casing and the powder into the right receptacles. Ruby thought it was monotonous work, but so had her job been when she’d worked for hours stuffing explosive into the bombs that were sent to the front during the war. She wandered back and forth along the long wooden building, answering queries and checking stock numbers from her clipboard. Hearing chattering and laughter from the next shed over, she put down her clipboard and headed to hut number five.
‘It’s Lil’s birthday,’ one of the girls said as Ruby entered the shed.
Ruby smiled. ‘Keep the noise down, girls,’ she warned them, nodding to a supervisor to follow her outside.
‘The girls were still working,’ she explained before Ruby could speak. ‘It’s just a bit of high spirits.’
‘I have nothing against high spirits as long as safety is observed. I’d hate anything to happen to the girls if their minds were taken off their work. Here,’ Ruby said as she took her purse from her pocket and handed over some coins. ‘Treat the girls to a bun and a cup of tea on me when they stop for their break.’ God knows they need a treat sometimes, she thought, knowing that some of them came from poor homes.
‘Thank you, Mrs Caselton,’ the supervisor said as she hurried back inside the hut.
‘Ruby!’ Herbie called out before she could return to her duties. She turned as he came rushing up to her, pulling her away from the door to the hut and leading her around the corner, out of sight of prying eyes. He pulled her to him and kissed her in a way he’d never done before. ‘I’m sorry to have left you so abruptly earlier. I felt you had something you wanted to tell me,’ he said as his eyes searched her face for an answer.
Ruby felt as if her breath had left her, such was the effect of his kiss. He’d never acted this way before. Did he feel she was about to call off their relationship? ‘Why, Herbie . . .’ she said, feeling flustered, and at the same time wishing they were somewhere more private and hoping he would kiss her again.
‘Ruby, please tell me you will stay with me and you want to live out the rest of your life with me?’ he begged, kissing her again before she could draw breath.
Ruby froze. Why was it that when Herbie’s kisses swept her away on a cloud, she thought of Eddie? Her Eddie . . . Would he ever leave her dreams? Would she ever stop thinking of him, while rejecting him every time he made contact?
‘What the hell?’ Herbie said suddenly. His hands dropped from her shoulders and Ruby turned to follow his gaze. A plume of black smoke was billowing out from the back of shed five.
‘Oh my God,’ Ruby cried out as an explosion erupted from the shed, followed by screams of panic from the girls inside.
Eddie rushed from the house, telling Pat to stay where she was. From the road, he could see clouds of smoke rising from the river. The woman who had been screaming was on her knees in the middle of the road, sobbing and wailing. ‘It’s Gilbert’s, I know it’s Gilbert’s going up in smoke, and my daughter works there,’ she cried out in desperation. ‘Please – can you help me get to her?’
‘Come with me,’ Eddie called as he ran away from the smoke and up Alexandra Road towards his milk cart. Helping the woman up onto the seat next to him, he told her to hold on tight and set off as fast as his gentle, passive horse would allow. Waving to Pat to reassure her as he passed number thirteen, he carried on at a brisk pace down Manor Road towards the banks of the Thames and the dirt track leading through the marsh towards the filling factory. It stood out against the morning skyline, outlined by black smoke. He could hear a series of explosions, and what sounded like gunfire.
‘That’ll be the Verey Lights. They’re emptying them of gunpowder,’ the woman said anxiously.
As the track became rougher, and the horse had trouble pulling the milk cart over the ruts, the woman jumped down and ran on towards the buildings, calling out for her daughter. Seeing that he couldn’t get much further, Eddie hitched his horse to a nearby bush and ran like the wind, praying Ruby hadn’t been injured. He was one of the few people pushing his way towards the scene of the disas
ter, through hordes of distressed workers fleeing the explosions coming from what was left of their huts. Strange lights glowed from the black smoke as the heat caused bullets to fire out in all directions. To one side, he could see men holding up pieces of corrugated iron as shields while they edged towards what was left of one of the sheds.
‘Keep back!’ one of them shouted, as Eddie edged closer.
‘I’m looking for Ruby Caselton,’ he bellowed to no one in particular as he gazed wildly around him for help.
‘I saw her outside hut six just before this started,’ a young woman called out to him. ‘She was with Herbie Wilcox.’
Eddie felt an anger burn inside him like he’d never felt before. Had this Herbie held Ruby back from escaping? He spotted a group of men wearing suits and carrying clipboards. Hurrying over, he snapped: ‘Ruby Caselton was near hut six. Have you found her? She was with a man called Herbie Wilcox, if that helps . . .’
One of them checked his list. ‘We don’t have her name marked as safe, or Mr Wilcox’s,’ he said, showing his list to another man standing close by. ‘They could have escaped, but we’ve yet to know,’ he advised Eddie.
Eddie ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. ‘Where is hut six?’
‘What’s left of it is down there – but be careful . . .’ the man called as Eddie started to run towards it. ‘The cartridges are going off all over the place . . .’
Eddie ignored the warnings and ran on; he had to find Ruby at any cost. As he passed what remained of hut five, he averted his glance – several lifeless bodies were lying where they’d been blown by the explosion. Black smoke swirled around the scene as he pulled his jacket up over his head for protection and started to shout out Ruby’s name. She must be somewhere nearby, he thought as he approached the hut.
‘Over here,’ a muffled voice called out.
Turning the corner of the hut, he spotted a man trapped by his legs under a fallen wall. There were sheets of corrugated iron lying about that had blown from the most damaged of the huts. ‘Have you seen Ruby Caselton?’ he asked as he pulled the man free.
A Mother Forever Page 30
