by Leslie North
She made herself look him in the eye. “I’m not sure I’m brave enough to date you with everyone watching us.”
“Put that aside for a second,” he suggested. “The real question is do you want to be with me?”
“Yes,” she whispered because she couldn’t deny it.
“Good.” He smiled and it did funny things to her insides. “Then we won’t let them watch. We’ll keep this private until we figure out where it’s going.”
Cal was full of surprises, and she added this to the “Unlike Luke” list. Luke had sometimes treated her like a trophy, showing her off to his friends and teammates in college. He’d even told her how to dress. She’d been too young and in love to realize how controlling it was, how invested he was in making sure she looked good on his arm. The same had been true when they’d come to Darby Crossing after their wedding. Cal didn’t seem to have that kind of ego. He didn’t need her to be on display.
“Give us a chance, sweetheart,” Cal said. “We’ll be discreet.”
He really didn’t care if they kept their relationship a secret until she was ready. That made him even more special in her mind, so she reached out and grabbed his jacket, bringing him closer before kissing him.
It was another stellar kiss. Her body hummed with desire and all she could think was that she wanted him in her bed. “Stay the night with me,” she whispered when the kiss broke apart.
“I’d love to, but…” He didn’t need to finish the thought.
She lived with her dead husband’s family. Her bedroom was isolated on the opposite side of the house from Laura’s and Jake’s rooms, but the morning would be the problem. That was a complication. She thought quickly. There had to be a solution. “We can say you slept on the couch because you had one too many or you were too tired to drive back to town. Brian does it sometimes when he and Jake hang out.”
“I should say no, but I can’t,” he said and kissed her again. A minute later, she took his hand and led him through the dark house, guiding him around furniture and quietly passing Henry’s closed door. Fortunately, he always slept like a log.
Oh, god, she was sneaking a man into the house. A nervous giggle escaped her as she reached her bedroom door and pulled him in.
“Something funny?” he asked, softly closing the door behind him.
“No, I’m just…” Before she could finish, he pulled her into his arms and started a kiss that wiped out her nerves. Everything faded except the two of them. She pulled his hat from his head and tossed it aside so she could run her fingers through his hair. It was thick and soft.
“Unbutton my shirt,” he whispered against her lips. “I want to feel your hands on me.”
With fingers that trembled only slightly, she unsnapped his western style shirt until it was open down the front. He shrugged out of it, dropping it to the floor at their feet. Her hands molded the firm muscles of his chest and shoulders and lingered over his toned stomach.
“So good,” he said, kissing her again and worked the zipper of her dress down her back. She felt the tug and waited for him to finish removing the garment, but he paused, his hands coming to her face. “Amy, tell me again that you want this.”
“I do. I want you,” she said and wiggled her shoulders, so the dress slithered down her body.
He held her out at arm’s length from him, his gaze traveling over her. “So lovely. Every part of you.” His fingertips trailed along the tops of her breasts and then went lower until they trailed along the edge of her panties. “We should get in the bed. I want to love you.”
He scooped her up and placed her in the center of her bed before quickly shedding the rest of his clothing and joining her, covering her body with his. He felt so good on top of her, his skin touching hers. He started yet another kiss that left her weak with desire before he moved his lips down her body, stopping in places that made the breath catch in her throat.
“I’m going to slip this off you now, sweetheart,” he said when he reached under her to unsnap her bra and pull it from her. His palm, calloused from hard work, cupped her breast and nothing had ever felt better. “Just as beautiful as I imagined.”
“You thought about this, about me?” Her words came out breathlessly.
“Oh, yeah. Couldn’t stop myself.” His thumbs flicked over her nipples, causing a slow spread of warmth between her thighs. When he lowered his mouth to her breasts, she arched up into him, their bodies rubbing together intimately. “Feels good,” he said when her hands stroked down his back to cup his butt.
She wanted him closer, inside her, because she knew how good it would be. He seemed to recognize her urgency, but he put a little distance between them. “Don’t,” she pleaded.
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. Just getting rid of these.” His fingers caught the sides of her panties and moved them slowly down her legs. “And getting this.” He reached down to his jeans and fished a condom out of his wallet. Once protection was in place, he parted her thighs, separating them gently. His lips came back to hers, the kiss both deep and loving. She was falling under the spell of it when she felt him nudge against her entrance, making her wrap her legs around him. He took his cue from her and thrust in slowly until he was fully seated. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against her, and she realized he was as affected as she.
“Jesus, god, that feels so damn good.” He wasn’t moving inside her, but she could feel the hard length of him.
“Cal, please,” she whispered, tightening her muscles around him and drawing a gasp from him. He started to move, finding a rhythm for them and kissing her all the while. Long, deep kisses timed to match the strokes of his thrusts. She felt the coil of heat inside her expand until she could think of nothing but the movement of their bodies and the coming pleasure. Finally, when it broke over her, she whispered his name over and over against his lips. He held her close, moving in a way that prolonged her orgasm until his came.
“You’re amazing,” he whispered into her shoulder where he’d buried his face against her. “So amazing.” He was panting, but so was she. When his breathing calmed, he rolled off her, took care of the condom, and then lay spooned around her, his hand gently stroking her side. For a long time neither of them spoke, as their bodies cooled.
“Should I go?” he asked eventually, his lips in her hair.
She sighed. “I don’t want you to.” Making love with him had been an experience to savor. He’d talked to her throughout, admiring her, letting her know how she was pleasing him. That was new to her, too. Luke’s lovemaking was quiet and controlled. If anyone spoke, it was her, praising him. Cal seemed more confident, less in need of reassurance. And he might have said that she was amazing, but he was, too. In truth, she felt a little overwhelmed. She hadn’t expected the emotional connection between them to be so strong.
“Me either,” he said, “but I don’t want to make this tougher on you. If you think Laura and Jake won’t buy the sleeping on the couch story, I’ll go.”
Now was one of the times when she wished she’d bought a little house for herself and Henry off the ranch. She loved living here. Being close to Laura and her sons gave Amy much-needed emotional support, and Henry adored being on the ranch. But sometimes she wished she could live in a place where she didn’t have to keep pretending her marriage had been perfect for the sake of other people’s feelings. It was getting harder to maintain that fiction.
“No, stay.” She wasn’t letting the shadows of her marriage to Luke steal this time with Cal. This moment belonged to them, not the past.
He reached for his phone on the nightstand. “I’ll set an alarm to make sure I get up early and move to the couch. I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
“You won’t,” she said, but that was a lie. Her heart was tied up with his and that was going to cause her trouble down the road—but not yet. For now, she was going to hold on to this happiness while she could.
He settled back into bed, cuddling her close as though
she were precious to him. His body relaxed against hers and she could hear his breathing start to even out. When he was nearly asleep, she finally worked up the courage to speak again.
“You can come again tomorrow night if you want to,” she said. Her offer was met with a moment of silence. Was he asleep? Or unsure of how to answer? Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything.
Before she could move away, he rolled her onto her back and kissed her in a way that left her with no doubts.
“I’ll be here tomorrow,” he said against her lips. “I’ll be here anytime you want me.”
11
In the morning, Cal took a quick shower in Amy’s bathroom and headed for the living room. He considered trying to make it look as though he’d slept on the couch, but he decided that he wasn’t into that kind of deception. While he stood there debating, his eyes fell on a wedding portrait hanging on the wall. He’d noticed it on a previous visit but hadn’t looked closely. He took a moment to study the picture.
Amy looked beautiful in a white dress standing next to her husband, both of them smiling. The photo was taken on a beach with the sunset behind them. Luke’s arm was around her waist, in a possessive gesture. Cal shouldn’t feel jealous of a dead man, but for a moment he did. Even though he’d slept most of the night in Amy’s bed, she wasn’t really his. Everything between them was temporary and overshadowed by her dead husband.
He hadn’t been thinking that while making love to her, and he hoped she hadn’t been either. No, he was sure she’d been focused on him since she’d whispered Cal’s name over and over. A little wave of guilt hit him, though. Was he stealing something that should have been his brother’s? Cal didn’t want to go there, so he moved on to the kitchen where he started making breakfast for the family.
He was cracking eggs into a bowl to make batter for French toast when the shattering of glass made him spin around. Laura stood there, her hand over her heart and a broken drinking glass at her feet.
“I thought you were Luke,” she said before he could react. She was breathing heavily and her face had gone white.
“Sorry,” Cal said, moving toward her, afraid that she might collapse onto the glass-covered tile floor. “Be careful now.” He glanced down to make sure she had slippers on and led her to the kitchen island where he pulled out a stool for her. “I’ll clean up.”
“I can do it,” she said, but he didn’t want her moving when she still looked so shaken.
Cal found a broom and dustpan to sweep up the shards, which gave Laura a chance to recover.
“What are you doing here so early?” she asked after he’d put a cup of coffee in front of her.
“I brought Amy home late and was too tired to drive back to town, so I crashed on the couch. I’m making breakfast as a sort of thank you for being an unexpected houseguest.”
“That’s nice of you.” Laura seemed to be recovering. “Luke would never have cooked for us.”
He shouldn’t reply, but he wanted to know about the man. Amy never said much, and Cal wanted to know more about him and their marriage. He couldn’t stop himself from prying for information.
“What was Luke like?” he asked, keeping his tone casual. Laura might assume he was just curious about the brother he’d never known.
While Cal battered the bread, put it on the griddle and fried bacon, he listened to a mother’s reminiscence of her dead son. At first, her words seemed pulled from the depths of her, but she soon warmed to the subject and was happy to keep talking.
“He was a born leader,” she said. “Always the first to do anything. At school, at home, it didn’t matter. He had that kind of personality that attracted others to him. Charming is the word, I guess. He applied that charm to everyone from his kindergarten teacher to his high school football coach.”
“Sounds like a great guy,” Cal commented.
“He was. Marshall would let him sit in front of him in the saddle when Luke was just a toddler, and they’d go down to the lake every evening. The boy was a born horseman. Luke was so sure his son would follow in his footsteps that he bought Henry a pony for his first birthday.” Laura stopped and stared into her coffee, and Cal realized that Luke had never gotten to see his son ride King. Cal could almost feel the sorrow coming off Laura, and it made his heart ache for her and Amy and Henry.
“He loved Amy so much,” Laura said after a minute of silence. “When he called us from college to tell us that Amy was pregnant and they were getting married, I worried that they were rushing into it. I was wrong about that. They suited each other and were so happy. I saw in them what I had with Marshall, a kind of love that was meant to last for a lifetime.”
Cal felt a weight on his chest. Could Amy ever be satisfied with another man after Luke? She’d seemed pleased with his lovemaking in the night and content to sleep with him, but did her heart still belong to a dead man? Was a physical relationship all she had to offer? Could Cal ever measure up in Amy’s eyes? He had no idea.
Breakfast was nearly ready when Amy entered the kitchen with Henry at her side. She was dressed casually, and her hair was still damp from the shower. When she smiled at him, he tried to push aside the worries he had about forming a relationship with her. It might be foolish to get involved with her…but foolish or not, he still didn’t want to walk away.
“Uncle Cal.” Henry rushed toward him and put his arms around Cal’s waist in a hug.
“Hey, buddy. How you doin’?” Cal asked as he rubbed his hand over the boy’s head.
While Cal finished up cooking breakfast, Henry talked about his first-grade class and what they were learning.
“I already know how to read, so I’ve got to wait until the other kids catch up,” Henry complained as he watched Cal place the slices of French toast on a platter.
“Maybe you could ask your teacher for some books to keep you busy.” Cal switched off the griddle. “I’ve always got a book handy.”
“That’s a good idea. I’ll do that. Can I carry that?” Henry pointed to the platter.
“Sure thing.” Cal placed it carefully in the boy’s hands and sent him toward the table.
When Cal looked up, he caught a smile and nod from Amy. She didn’t comment, but he felt that she approved of how he treated her son.
“Morning.” Jake entered the kitchen from the back door, clearly coming from the barn. He went straight to the coffee pot and filled a mug. He swung around and shot a look at Cal that said what the hell are you doing here?
“Let’s eat,” Amy said, picking up the plate of bacon and following Henry. “It smells delicious.”
“Right behind you,” Cal said. Jake could question him later if he wanted to, but not in front of Henry.
They all took the same spots at the table as they had at other meals, which put Jake at Cal’s left. While Cal focused most of his attention on Henry, he could still feel his young brother’s eyes on him throughout the meal. Jake didn’t appear to be buying the it-was-late-and-I-crashed-on-the-couch story. Amy picked up on the tension and soon odd looks were shooting around the table. Only Laura and Henry seemed oblivious to the tension.
“Thanks for cooking,” Jake said as he stood up after finishing his breakfast. “I need to check on Star, she was favoring her left foreleg yesterday. I’d appreciate your opinion.” Jake focused his gaze on Cal.
“Happy to take a look,” Cal said, standing up. He seriously doubted the trip to the barn had anything to do with checking a horse, but he understood the invitation for what it was. “I’ll be out as soon as I clean up the dishes.”
“We’ll get those,” Laura said. “You boys go on.”
With a nod to everyone at the table, Cal followed Jake outside. They talked about general topics until they reached the barn. He was a little surprised to see there really was a horse with a potential problem. They assessed her ailment, agreeing that a few days of rest was needed, but a call to the veterinarian wasn’t necessary.
“Anything I can do to help?” Cal asked, fe
eling comfortable and happy in the barn.
“Sure,” Jake said as he picked up a brush to groom the horse. “You can tell me the real reason you spent the night on the ranch.” Jake looked Cal straight in the eye as he spoke.
Cal had only a second to make a decision. He didn’t want to lie to Jake. They’d become friends of a sort and he liked the guy, but Cal’s first loyalty was to Amy. She’d been worried about them having privacy to explore their relationship, had wanted to keep it a secret, and he’d do what he had to to give her that.
“Exactly what I said,” Cal answered, keeping his tone calm. “I stayed late talking with Amy, and I was too tired to drive back to town. It seemed like a better idea to stay here.”
Jake remained silent for a minute as he continued to work. “I can see how that might happen. Amy’s easy to talk with.” Jake ran the brush over the horse’s neck. “I don’t know how we’d have gotten through the months after Dad’s and Luke’s deaths without her. The family was damn lucky the day Luke brought her home. She means so much to us,” Jake hesitated before continuing, “and she was the perfect wife for him.”
The perfect wife for the perfect man? Was that what Jake was implying? If that was his opinion, no wonder Amy was worried about telling the Thorne family that she was seeing Cal. The folks in town were one problem, but this was a bigger one for both of them. And it was all frustrating as hell because Cal was becoming increasingly certain that as long as he stuck around the area, he would be forever walking in the shadow of his perfect brother.
He wasn’t sure what that meant for him and Amy. If she was willing to leave town and make a fresh start with him, then maybe they could have something. If not, the best he could do was enjoy being with her in the short term. At least he could congratulate himself on getting her past her fear of dating. Would she have the confidence to date other men after he left? He didn’t want to know the answer to that question because the thought of her with another man left a sour taste in his mouth.
