by K. A. Linde
She jolted backward a step. A hand went to her chest. I thought she was finally getting it. Seeing how upset I was by all this.
“I don’t…understand.”
“Until you can accept me for who I am, then you don’t get to look out for me.”
“Lark,” she whispered.
A rumble of anger swept through me, and still, I was stuck in place at the weakness in her voice. I knew that I shouldn’t let her get to me. That I should stick to my guns. But for a second, I just wanted it all to work out. I wanted my mother to see me, really see me for who I was. I just didn’t think that was possible. Not when she continued on this way as if my wants and needs and feelings didn’t matter.
So, I stuffed the guilt in my back pocket and held my hand out. “The key.”
And to my shock, she took out the gold key and placed it in my hand. I closed my hand around it, and it felt like a ten-pound weight. My mother looked sad. But then it cleared away as fast as it had come, and she just returned to indignant.
“If you didn’t want me to help with your apartment and wardrobe, you could have just said so,” she sneered.
Then, she turned on her four-inch Manolo Blahnik heel and exited my apartment, leaving all the new and old furniture where it was. And two disgruntled movers with two new chairs in the hallway.
Sam took one look at me and closed the door before the movers could come inside. Leaving them to work it out with my mom.
And then I collapsed in on myself. I crumpled into a heap on the hardwood floor, holding my head in my hands and shaking. I couldn’t believe that had just happened. I’d always had a volatile relationship with my mother, which had only gotten worse over the years of my defiance. But it had never come to a head like that.
“Hey,” Sam said. He sank to the floor, pulling me into his chest. I leaned hard against him, letting his warmth wrap around me. “It’s okay.”
“Is it?” I whispered.
“It will be.”
“I just told my mom to get out of my apartment.”
“You were justified,” he reminded me.
“I know,” I whispered. “But I hate it.”
“That seems reasonable. You probably wouldn’t be human if you didn’t hate what had just happened with your mom.”
“I just…had to stand up for myself.” I pulled back and looked into his eyes. “I couldn’t keep letting her stomp around in my life so carelessly.”
“You did the right thing. She crossed the line and was unrepentant.”
“I didn’t like how she’d talked about you either.”
He stroked my hair back. “I don’t care what she says about me. I’ve heard it all before. I know that I don’t belong here with a girl like you.”
“Hey, don’t say that. That’s dumb.”
“You’re so far out of my league that it’s not even funny,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh.
“You are not.”
“Lark, you are an Upper East Side princess. I’m a nobody from nowhere, who used to do construction. It’s okay for me to admit that. I’m not ashamed. But I’m not giving you up because of any of it. I still love you.”
I hiccuped, and a small smile came to my face. “I love you too.”
He cupped my jaw and drew me into a kiss. “Now, are you really going to be okay?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I feel like the ball is kind of in her court. But I know my mom. She’s not going to try to make amends. She’s going to try to pretend like it didn’t happen until I give in and make up with her.”
“Just give it time. You don’t have to do anything about it today.”
“I don’t need this right now. Not with the primary so close and Thomas’s fucking casino party.”
“Hey, don’t add stress if you don’t have to,” he said. “We don’t have to go to Thomas’s party.”
I arched an eyebrow. “And miss you taking him for all he’s worth? I don’t think so.”
He laughed. “We’ll see how it goes. But really, if it makes you uncomfortable, we could just have a night in.”
“No, I think I’d like a night out with our group. I miss having them all together. It was like having a new crew in the Hamptons.”
“It was nice to feel like I belong.”
I smiled. “This is where you belong.”
He pulled me up off of the floor and into a hug. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
31
Lark
“You really told her to give you the key back and to get out?” English asked with wide eyes. “And that you were no longer her daughter? Holy shit!”
I laughed softly and shrugged. “Yeah, I was enraged. To put it mildly.”
“Jesus Christ! I can’t imagine going off like that. I’m not close with my parents, but still!”
“Yeah. I don’t know what to do about it. I’m still angry. I just need more time to calm down before I can talk to her again.”
“Well, I definitely think this will get your mind off of it,” English said as the elevator opened onto the top floor of my apartment building.
“What exactly am I looking at?” I asked her.
English grinned. “This is it.”
I stared back at her blankly.
“This is the apartment that Josh and I just closed on!”
“What?” I gushed. “It’s so close to my place! Only a few floors up!”
“I know! He knew that I loved your building so much and that I wanted to be close to you, so he bought the penthouse.”
“That’s insane. I didn’t even know it was for sale.”
She shook her head with a sly grin. “It wasn’t. He contacted the people who were living here and made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.”
“Holy shit! That had to have cost a fortune!”
“He said nothing was too much for me.”
“God, how did you get so lucky?” I asked as I gazed around the gorgeous and enormous penthouse suite. It was full of natural light, and I could so easily see English being happy here.
“I really have no idea,” she gushed. “But I’m so excited to move in. He bought me a ticket to London to come out to the shoot this weekend. And it’s been so long since I’ve seen him that I’ve decided to go.”
“Oh,” I said, my face falling. “This weekend is Thomas’s party.”
“Yeah, I figure it’ll be fine to send Court. Especially since all of you will be there to watch him.”
“Sure. I can watch him. I’ll just miss you.”
“I know. I wanted to go with you all, but it’s been so long.”
“And you want to get laid,” I said with a laugh. “I get it.”
“I mean…you’re not wrong.”
“Gah, I’m having second thoughts about this party. I think it’d be hilarious to see Sam hustle them all at poker, but am I putting myself in a bad position, bringing my ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend together in the same place?”
English put her hand on my shoulder. “It’s a reasonable thing to be worried about. But this is Sam we’re talking about. It’s not like he’s going to go rogue boyfriend on you and punch Thomas or anything. I hate to admit I was wrong, but I think Sam is really good for you.”
I flushed. “Thanks, English. That means a lot.”
“So, just go to this party and have a good time. What could go wrong?”
“Aside from everything?”
She laughed. “Well, I will happily be in a sex coma during it. So, I will be MIA.”
“I’m happy for you,” I told her with a smile. “This apartment. You’ll have Josh back soon. The job. I’m so glad that you took it so that we could be in the same city again.”
“Me too. Best decision of my life.”
We hugged like eccentric best friends, and then she dragged me around every single room to show it all off.
Having the most brilliant day on set. So good to be back in Josh’s arms. Don’t forget to keep your eyes on Court tonight. I’ll follow up i
n the morning. And remember to have fun! I love you!
I groaned as I read English’s text. I’d been so bogged down in work that I hadn’t seen her message until she was probably already asleep. I hated that Josh was stealing her away for a week. I’d gotten used to having her here in New York. And I really didn’t know what I’d do come November when she had to move back to LA. Hopefully, we could work it out, so she could stay.
“All good here, boss,” Aspen said, stepping into my office. “Have a good time tonight with Sam.”
My head whipped up. “What?”
Aspen froze. “I mean…you are with Sam, right?”
My stomach churned. “That’s not…I mean, we’re not—”
“Hey, I’m happy for you,” she said, holding up her hands.
God, we hadn’t been as careful as I’d thought. Did the whole office know? Was someone just waiting to let it slip to Shawn so that it could fuck us up? Because, god, I couldn’t risk my job or Sam’s job right now. Not this close to the primary. Not when we were both so invested in this.
“Who else knows?” I managed to get out.
“No one. And I haven’t told anyone.” She bit her lip. “I won’t tell anyone. You can trust me.”
“Thanks, Aspen. I don’t mean for it to be a secret. But it just happened. It has nothing to do with work.”
“If anything, you’ve been more productive,” Aspen argued. “I think it’s great for you.”
“I appreciate it.”
“So, really…have fun.”
I laughed as she tipped her head at me and then dipped out of the office. I powered down my laptop for the night and then quickly changed into the slinky sapphire dress I’d chosen for the party. This one had come from my closet. Pointedly not something my mother had picked out.
A minute later, Sam stood in the doorway. He whistled. “Well, hello there.”
I smoothed down the front of the dress and then stood in the high heels. “How do I look?”
“The office is empty.” He closed the door. “We could…use your desk.”
I grinned at him, wishing I could take him up on that offer. “Aspen knows.”
“Yeah. I think she’s known for a while.”
“She said that she wouldn’t tell anyone. But I hate that we have to hide it here. And I think we kind of suck at it.”
He strode across the room and pulled me in close. “I don’t like hiding it either. But we’re professionals. Work comes first when we’re here, and then, when we’re home, who cares?”
“Someone probably cares.”
He grinned. “Don’t worry about it. What you should be worrying about is the fact that I forgot my suit at home. We’re going to have to swing by Brooklyn before the party.”
I groaned. “Really? And I already got all dressed up.”
“Yes, and I am enjoying that.”
I swatted him away.
He laughed. “Let’s get going. I’m ready to clean the table tonight.”
I followed him to the door. “God, I can’t wait to see the look on Thomas’s face.”
“I’m thanking those long hours with Jake, learning how to play, right about now.”
“How are things with you and Jake?”
He shrugged as he hailed a cab and held the door open for me. He didn’t respond until we were zipping along toward Brooklyn. “Same. Better. I don’t know. I think he wants to come out after the primary is over.” He glanced down and then back up at me. “If he comes, would you want to meet him?”
“Definitely,” I said automatically. “I’d love to meet him.”
“Cool. We’ll see what happens. It’s nice that not everything has to be so perilous between us.”
“I know it’s not the same, but I don’t have siblings, so I’ve always treated my friends like they’re family. And I’ve always tried to hold my crew together. It’s all splintered, and I still try to fix it. I think I’m going to make us all hang out when Penn finally gets back at the end of the summer.”
“Is he really in Paris all summer? When is he coming back?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t really talked to him, but he has to come back to teach at some point.”
“Well, I think it’s a good idea to get your friends back together. Maybe you could take a weekend away with all of them.”
My smile grew. “I like that idea. Though…I also like that we’re kind of building a new friend network. Having English around and Whitley and the guys…”
“Me too.”
“Sometimes, new is good…healthy.”
“It is.”
The cab pulled to a stop in front of Sam’s apartment, and he paid before helping me out. We took the stairs up to his floor. I was cursing the heels the whole way. I should have stayed in my flats, but I hadn’t wanted to bring them with me. The original plan had been to get ready at work and go together to the casino party. Since we had been getting out of work later and later lately, it just made more sense. But we’d have to make do even if it meant we got to the party really late tonight because of this detour.
“Sometimes, new is just what you need,” he said with a wink at me as he turned the doorknob to his place and pushed it open.
He took a step inside and then froze.
He stopped so abruptly that I nearly ran into him.
“Sam, what…”
But I never finished the sentence.
Because a figure was in the apartment, in the living room, on the couch.
A small blonde figure.
She looked up at us with a tear-streaked face. But she couldn’t see me. Or she didn’t see me. She only had eyes for Sam.
“Claire?” he rasped.
Then she vaulted off of the couch, dashed across the apartment, and threw herself into his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I stood there, shell-shocked, as she pressed her lips to his.
Fuck.
Part V
But Who Could Stay?
32
Lark
Claire was kissing Sam.
My Sam.
And I just stood there. Because I had no idea how to process this. Like, how the fuck was this even happening? It made no sense. It wasn’t…even possible for her to be here. She wasn’t supposed to be back for weeks still.
Finally, Sam seemed to come out of his own stupor. He gripped Claire’s shoulders and held her at arm’s length. She stumbled backward a step, but I could see her red-rimmed eyes and puffy face.
“What are you doing here?” Sam finally asked.
“I-came-home-early-and-everything-is-awful-and-I-missed-you,” she said, unintelligibly stringing all her words together with tears springing to her eyes again.
“Wait…wait,” he said, gently guiding her back into the apartment. “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”
“I missed you. I was wrong. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left,” Claire said, swiping at her cheeks. “I realized that I still love you. I’m still in love with you. I came back to make this better.”
I stood awkwardly on the threshold between walking into that apartment and staying out here. Because nothing good was going to come from me stepping inside and hearing what the fuck was about to happen. Claire was a mess. And still, I wanted to tell her to fuck off. That she was too late.
The old Lark…Bad Lark…would have done it. The other side of me reared its ugly head. It made my claws come out and my teeth lengthen into fangs and my instincts take over. I wanted her to hurt. She had no right to be here. She’d left Sam. He was mine.
But…the other part of me knew I couldn’t say any of those things. It hadn’t worked last time with Melissa. It certainly wasn’t going to work this time with his ex-girlfriend sobbing into his shoulder.
All it would do was make things worse. Make Sam see that I hadn’t changed as much as I’d claimed. That deep down, that viper still existed. As much as I tried to charm that snake to sleep inside of me and never come back out, I
couldn’t escape who I was. I was my mother’s daughter. I was Katherine’s best friend. I was Upper East Side. There was no denying that. And I could feel it in the vengeance that sprang up when I looked at that crying girl and felt nothing, except that I wanted to make her pay for touching him.
I’d say it was the normal sort of anger. The normal sort of don’t touch my boyfriend. But it wasn’t.
It was the Upper East Side level of I’ll ruin your life, and no one will ever know. And it terrified me.
Terrified me that it was still in there.
And that somehow…Sam was the only one who brought it back out in me.
I took a step backward. I couldn’t walk in there. I didn’t know what he’d say or what kind of con Claire was trying to pull. But I knew if I walked in there, the part of me I’d tried so hard to bury would surface. And I had no clue if I could put her back in a box.
“Lark,” Sam said, glancing up at me.
Claire seemed to notice me standing there for the first time. “Hey, Lark,” she said, sniffling. “I didn’t mean for you to see me like this. I just got in from Rome and it’s a bitch of a flight and I’m so tired. Such a mess.” She glanced down at my swanky outfit. “Oh god, am I keeping you from something? Do you have a banquet?”
“Uh…yeah,” Sam said. “Something like that.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I came straight here from the airport. We need to talk.”
“Yeah, I think we do.” He glanced back up at me.
I was halfway out the door like I was ready to sprint in the other direction. I saw his gaze soften for a minute. As if he wanted to say something to appease me, but there was nothing there.
“You want to head to the party? I can meet you.”
“You want me to leave?” I asked in surprise. Even though I’d been ready to run, I hadn’t thought Sam would send me away.
“Yeah. I mean, Claire and I have some unfinished business. I’ll meet you there.”
“Oh.”
“I’ll text you,” he said carefully.
