A Heart to Trust

by A. L. Brooks

  Olivia swayed into her home and finally found a light switch on the wall after three attempts. The illumination revealed a bright, modern space with some stunning small pieces of artwork hung on the walls. Olivia walked a few more paces down the hallway, then turned and looked back over her shoulder.

  Jeez, she’s beautiful. The soft lights in the ceiling sent a glow downwards that cast sultry shadows over Olivia’s gorgeous body.

  “You’re still outside.” Olivia’s head tilted. “Why?”

  “I should be getting home.” No way am I stepping through this door. I don’t think I trust myself right now with you looking the way you do. “Now I know you’re safe, it’s time for me to leave.”

  A sad smile twisted Olivia’s mouth. “I guess.” She kicked off her sandals, then she weaved her way back toward Jenny. When she reached her, Olivia pouted. “Don’t go.”

  Jenny’s heart lurched and her stomach tightened. “I really should.”

  Olivia stepped closer and stared up at Jenny, who was a couple inches taller now that Olivia had removed her sandals. “Your eyes,” Olivia said, her own eyes narrowing, the hazel darkening to a soft brown, “are so beautiful.”

  “Th-thank you.” Holy crap, what was happening here?

  “You are beautiful.” Olivia licked her lips.

  “Olivia.” The word came out as a hoarse whisper.

  Olivia leaned in a little farther.

  Jenny’s phone pinged from inside her jacket pocket.

  They both jumped.

  Olivia’s eyes went wide as she took a step back. “I…” She cleared her throat. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  She took a few more steps back. She didn’t seem quite so drunk now, as if a veil had been lifted on her consciousness and everything she’d said or done in the last while had been revealed to her. “Please forget that, okay?” She bit her bottom lip. “Please forget everything I said.”

  She looked so fearful, Jenny couldn’t consider arguing. Besides, forgetting all of the last half hour was definitely a good idea. She and Olivia? Yeah, bizarre concept.

  “I’ll see you on Monday.” Jenny moved away from the door, feeling hot and cold all at once and desperate to get out of there. “Hope the hangover’s not too bad tomorrow.”

  Olivia pursed her lips. “I’ll drink lots of water. Promise.”

  They stared at each other for a moment longer, then Olivia deliberately, slowly, closed the door between them.

  Chapter 15

  By the time Jenny and Carl met up with Tamara and Roz in the park Saturday at lunchtime, Jenny had almost managed to stop thinking about everything that had happened with Olivia the night before. But the memories of Olivia’s words and touches had kept Jenny awake long past midnight.

  Carl had arrived home from Solomon’s at a little after eleven this morning, and Jenny had slapped on her happy face and acted as if the company party the night before was the best thing ever. He’d quirked one eyebrow at her, suggesting he saw right through her, but hadn’t said anything.

  All four of them spread the two blankets on the ground. Carl and Roz bounded away to play frisbee while Jenny and Tamara laid out food and drinks.

  “You okay?” Tamara handed Jenny a cup of sliced strawberries. “You seem…” She shrugged. “Kinda low.”

  Jenny bit her lip. Tamara had always been her confidant, the one person who knew everything that had ever happened to her. She was Jenny’s rescuer, although Tamara balked at that label and had done so since that fateful night when Jenny ended up homeless and shivering in a bus shelter, thanks to her bigoted parents. Not that Tamara didn’t know how important her help had been that night. Tamara’s call, wondering why her new friend Jenny wasn’t at their queer quiz night as expected, at that precise moment offered Jenny a lifeline she’d grabbed at with both hands. Tamara always said Jenny would have done the same if the tables were turned, and Jenny was pretty sure she would have. Didn’t mean she wasn’t always going to be grateful. So, if I’m going to talk about this with anyone, it has to be her.

  “Something happened at that party last night.” She licked her lips, a nervous habit she couldn’t quite shake. “And I’m pretty confused by it and…”

  Tamara shuffled over on her knees and sat beside Jenny. She took the bag of chips from her hand and placed it on top of the cooler box. “These can wait. And those two will be ages yet with their dumb game, so you have plenty of time to tell me what’s got you looking so scrunchy.”

  Jenny sighed. “So, remember the woman at work I was telling you guys about? Olivia?”

  Tamara tapped her chin. “The icy woman? Who is also hot?”

  “Yeah. That one.” She shifted to stretch her legs out. “So, she was at the party last night. Wait, no, I need to backtrack.” She told Tamara about what Chrissy said Olivia had done with the Excelsior photos and notes. Then she outlined how the party had played out, right up to what Olivia said in the elevator at her apartment building.

  “Okay.” Tamara drew the word out, a frown creasing her forehead. “She misses being cared for by a woman?”

  “Yeah, that’s what she said.”

  “And then what did she say?”

  Jenny swallowed. “She told me I was beautiful.”

  “Woman’s got taste.” Tamara smirked. Then she held up a finger. “And in what context did she say those truthful words?”

  Jenny’s face heated. “When she, uh, was standing on her doorstep and asking me to stay.”

  “Oh my.” Tamara stared at Jenny. “And did you?”

  “What? No! No way. She’s married.”

  “Well, I can’t lie, I am very relieved to hear you say that.” She laid a gentle hand on Jenny’s leg. “You sound totally into her, and I thought you’d mentioned she was married, so I was worried for a moment that you’d completely lost your fucking mind.”

  Jenny snorted, then rubbed her hands over her face. “I’m as confused as fuck,” she mumbled. “She is beautiful and sexy and super smart and—”

  “And by all accounts a conniving bitch taking credit for your work and married at the same time as she’s flirting her ass off with you.” Tamara’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think you have anything to be confused about.”

  “Easy for you to say.” Jenny held up her hand when Tamara made to speak. “No, you’re right. I know you are. But trust me, stepping back last night was…difficult.”

  “Yeah, but you did. And I’m proud of you. Now you just forget that all happened, like the woman said. And watch your back at work. She does not sound trustworthy, either privately or in the workplace.” Tamara picked up the bag of potato chips and opened them. “And neither, by the way, does this Chrissy person.”

  “What?”

  “She sounds too good to be true. And too quick to gossip about the others too.”

  Okay, that part was true. Sometimes there were things about Chrissy she found uncomfortable. Jenny sighed. “She’s been the only person to make an effort with me.”

  “That may be, but I don’t like some of the stuff you tell me about her.”

  Jenny didn’t know what to say to that.

  Tamara leaned in, making sure their gazes locked. “Be careful, okay? Watch your back,” she repeated, enunciating every word.

  Jenny swallowed and nodded.

  Olivia sat on the balcony, a glass of orange juice next to her on the table, and gazed out at the New York skyline. It was a gorgeous Saturday morning—not too hot, a few fluffy clouds in the sky, a light breeze skimming over her bare arms. But Olivia didn’t feel good. Not at all.

  She sighed, then swept a hand through her damp hair. The shower had helped, as had the Advil and the large bowl of muesli she’d forced herself to eat half an hour ago. What hadn’t helped was her mind scheming to play on repeat, word by word, the last half hour of her evening with Jen
ny. Somehow, despite how drunk she’d felt as they rode home in the cab, she’d remembered every word. Every single, bloody one. Each made her cringe with a mix of embarrassment and fear.

  Yes, she’d had some kind of epiphany last night; how gorgeous Jenny was had finally dawned on her. But no, she shouldn’t have told her and risked everything she and Broderick had worked for the last two years. Would Jenny keep her word and never mention it? Or would she blab to the simpering Chrissy? God help me if she does that—it’ll be all over C&V in a heartbeat.

  She groaned. All because she forgot her golden rule of social engagements: don’t drink alcohol, and certainly don’t drink any of it on an empty stomach. Her capacity for alcohol had reduced significantly since she and Broderick worked out their agreement. She always loved to drink and party, like many people, but she’d known from the minute she agreed to be Broderick’s wife she’d have to curtail that behavior. What was that old saying? Oh yes, loose lips sink ships.

  Well, this ship had taken a potentially fatal hit thanks to her blabbering mouth.

  If only Jenny hadn’t looked so damn good in that suit. Jesus. Her mouth went dry at the image once more. Yeah, right, Olivia, blame a bloody suit. She scowled. The only problem last night was you and your lack of self-control. You only have yourself to blame if this all goes wrong now, this late in the game.

  She straightened in her chair and drank the remainder of her juice. Sitting here wallowing in self-pity wasn’t going to achieve anything. First, she needed to take Barnaby out for his lunchtime walk—Mr. Cousins had visitors today. Then she needed to tell Broderick. He was away in Florida for the final races of the season. He wouldn’t answer a call, not that she would think to interrupt him in race mode anyway. But she’d send him an email, which he would read tomorrow night or Monday morning, and at least he’d have some idea of what might befall them.

  God, what a mess.

  Olivia’s stomach churned as she stepped out of the elevator into the C&V offices on Monday morning. She was early, hoping to assess how Jenny seemed as she arrived and whether Chrissy wore a cat-that-got-the-cream look as she came in. She marched over to her desk and unpacked her bag. Then she sat, ready to face her fate.

  Derek walked in a few minutes later and waved hello. “Have a good time on Friday? I’m sorry I didn’t get to talk to you much. You know how it is, so many people to make time for.”

  “No problem. And yes, I had a lovely time, thank you.” Chalk up one more lie to the scoreboard. Besides, she was quite sure he’d spent most of his evening with Chrissy, and Olivia was fairly certain she knew what was going on there. She wondered if Derek’s wife knew. Once more her stomach rolled, this time in anger at what Chrissy might be playing at—probably was playing at—and how Derek seemed game to let her. Ugh.

  Derek disappeared into his office and shut the door.

  Next to arrive was Chrissy. She muttered, “Good morning,” before heading to the coffee station.

  Okay, so that didn’t seem to suggest she had any inkling of what had happened Friday night. There was certainly no evidence of gloating, which she would have expected if Chrissy had known. Dare I believe?

  When Jenny arrived, she looked tired and withdrawn. She barely glanced at Olivia before easing into her chair and setting up for the day.

  “Good morning.” Olivia’s heart thudded.

  Jenny looked up. “Morning.” Her eyes met Olivia’s. “Did you have a nice weekend?”

  “Yes, thank you.” Olivia’s voice croaked. “And you?”

  “It was good.” Jenny turned back to her screen and scrolled her mouse.

  Olivia exhaled. She had to know. Once and for all.

  Chrissy walked away from the coffee station and made a beeline for Jenny’s desk.

  Come on, quickly, while you’re still alone. “Jenny?”

  Jenny looked up again and a flicker of annoyance crossed her features.

  “Could I talk to you for a moment? Perhaps over coffee?” Olivia kept her voice calm even as her insides churned.

  Jenny quirked one eyebrow, hesitated, then pushed away from her desk and stood. “Sure.”

  They walked past a bemused Chrissy to the coffee station.

  Before Jenny reached for a cup, Olivia cleared her throat. “Are you okay?”

  Jenny stared at her. “I’m fine. Why?”

  “You look a little tired.”

  Jenny looked away. “Didn’t sleep so good this weekend.” She grabbed a cup and placed it on the machine. She pressed the requisite button for straight black, then crossed her arms.

  “I just wanted to apologize again for—”

  Jenny held up a hand. “It’s all forgotten. Don’t worry.”

  “Thank you.” Olivia swallowed. “Look, I hate to ask, but you won’t share this with anyone else, will you?”

  Jenny’s eyes clouded. “No, Olivia, I won’t. I’m not that kind of person.” She lifted her cup and without another word walked away.

  Olivia sighed. Well, that could have been worse, I suppose. Equally, it could have been a lot better. She risked a glance at Jenny, who was almost back at her desk. If only things weren’t the way they are.

  Chapter 16

  Jenny was thankful the last two weeks of September were busy. Work was always a good distraction for her from whatever else was going on in her life. Especially this work. The NFL season was underway, and her work on the preseason segment around the Jets and Giants had segued nicely into C&Vs involvement with a special documentary on the charity work of NFL stars behind the scenes. She’d been asked to work as an all-round runner on a couple of days’ shooting at a zoo then spent a day helping out at a photo shoot. She loved the variety in her job, and she had to begrudgingly admit that had increased since she’d been moved over to C&V.

  She also loved the fact that all this running around, plus the work she did back in the office, allowed her to keep her thoughts—mostly—away from Olivia. Although that was more difficult to achieve when their days in the office crossed. Whenever their gazes met, there was a difference to it compared to pre-party times. It was warmer, softer, not so confrontational. Jenny couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing. They were supposed to forget the night of the party, after all. And she was still supposed to remember to not trust Olivia.

  Looking up from her screen, needing to stretch after an hour of solidly tapping away at her keyboard, she caught Olivia observing her.

  Olivia jolted and looked away. She bit her bottom lip in that way that Jenny found ridiculously distracting.

  Jenny grabbed a handful of M&Ms from her dispenser and surreptitiously stared at Olivia as she munched each one.

  Olivia looked really good today. Hell, Olivia looked good every day, but today was something else. The bright-blue shirt, with two or three buttons undone, created a V of pale skin at the top of her chest, and it had short sleeves that showed off Olivia’s slender arms. Arms holding hints of muscle in all the right places.

  Jenny had always been a sucker for toned arms, and she found herself mesmerized by the play of those muscles as Olivia typed or moved her mouse.

  I bet those arms would hold you really tight if you let them.

  An M&M caught in her throat, and she began to choke. She thumped her own chest to try to dislodge the candy.

  Olivia leaped up from her desk. “Are you okay? Do you need me to slap your back?”

  Jenny flailed her arms, her face becoming hotter by the second as air became hard to come by.

  Olivia leaned in and whacked soundly on Jenny’s back, once, twice, and—

  The M&M broke free and shot out of Jenny’s mouth to hit her laptop screen before it ricocheted onto the desk itself.

  Jenny coughed and spluttered, gasping air into her lungs.

  Olivia rubbed a soothing hand up and down Jenny’s back, then seemed to realize what
she was doing and stepped backward. “Better?” Her voice was quiet.

  Jenny grabbed her water bottle and swallowed down two or three mouthfuls. “Much,” she croaked. “Thanks.” Her back was still warm where Olivia had rubbed it.

  “You’re welcome.” Olivia smiled at her when Jenny looked up. Then her gaze moved to the soggy mess of the M&M on the desk, and she smirked. “Dangerous things, M&Ms. Maybe I should confiscate them, for your own safety.”

  There was a twinkle in Olivia’s eyes, and Jenny marveled at the transformation in her face. She looked so open and amused, and…fun. “No way. I know what your game is.” Jenny hugged the M&Ms dispenser. “All mine.” She threw Olivia a mock glare.

  Olivia’s laugh, so open and carefree, shot tingles all the way down to Jenny’s toes. She laughed with her.

  “What’s so funny?” Chrissy asked in a snide tone as she walked up to her desk.

  Jenny stopped laughing.

  Olivia walked back to her desk and sat. “Nothing.”

  Chrissy stared at Jenny and mouthed the words, “What the fuck?”

  Jenny sighed. “I’ll tell you later,” she whispered, purely for Chrissy’s ears. “Wanna do lunch?”

  “Sure.” Chrissy’s expression was suspicious. “One o’clock?”

  Jenny nodded, uncomfortable and unsure of why. She turned back to her screen.

  “Well, I suppose it’s great she didn’t let you die.” Chrissy folded up her sandwich wrapper. Her voice was icy.

  “Yeah, what she did was actually nice. I was in real trouble there for a second.”

  Chrissy waved a hand. “Sure. I understand. It’s just…” She looked away, then sighed heavily and turned to meet Jenny’s gaze. “Be careful with her, okay? Just because she did something nice this morning doesn’t mean she’s still nice overall. You know what she’s done to you already.”

  Jenny shifted in her seat. “I know. But I wonder if we’re being too hard on her. That there’s more goodness to her than we realize.” I know there is. I’ve seen it, up close and personal. But she wouldn’t say that to Chrissy. She’d promised Olivia, despite all the problems between them at work, and she’d keep that promise.