by A. L. Brooks
“Good place to grow up?”
Jenny waggled her hand back and forth. “I had an okay childhood. Better than most people, I guess.” She sighed. “I guess this is all part of the getting to know you stuff so you may as well know up front.” She took a deep breath. “I haven’t been back there since I left college because the year before I graduated, I came out to my family and my parents literally threw me out of the family home the same night. We haven’t spoken since.”
“Oh, no.” Olivia’s heart lurched. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.” She took Jenny’s hand.
Jenny gazed down at their joined hands, a small smile on her lips. “That feels good.”
Olivia nodded, then cleared her throat. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, were your folks just generally homophobic or…?”
“Very, very religious. Evangelicals. I was raised in the faith, but by the time I was thirteen, I knew it didn’t fit with who I was and who I was becoming.” Jenny shuffled her cutlery around. “I knew they wouldn’t approve, but I never imagined they’d kick me out. I’d planned a ton of arguments against whatever they might say in response, but I hadn’t prepped at all for my dad marching me into my room and forcing me to pack my clothes.”
“Jesus.” Olivia’s stomach roiled with anger and sympathy. “How do you get over something like that?”
Jenny shrugged, but Olivia could tell she wasn’t as unaffected as she made out to be. “It is what it is.” She sat up straighter. “I survived because I lucked out with my friends, Tamara and Roz, then a little later, Carl.”
“The three people in that photo on your desk?”
“Very good. Another ten points.” Jenny smiled. “Yeah, they were college acquaintances I knew through an LGBTQ group. They rescued me, literally, and gave me a roof over my head. When we all graduated, Tamara was the only one with a real job lined up, here in New York. So the rest of us decided we’d come here too and see what we could achieve. After doing some waitressing for a few months, I eventually took some extra media classes at NYU. About three months in, I attended a lecture given by a visiting speaker, a woman named Adrienne Wyatt.”
Olivia’s brain connected the dots. “Your manager at TC Productions. She gave you a job.”
“Yeah, but only after I stalked her to a coffee shop and chewed her ear off about how good I’d be as her assistant.” Jenny laughed.
Olivia had no trouble imagining Jenny doing that, and she smiled broadly at the image.
They ordered from the extensive menu, then talked more through waiting for the food and eating it.
Jenny’s humor delighted Olivia, while her gray eyes continued to reduce Olivia to a stammering mess whenever they locked onto hers. She couldn’t get over how balanced Jenny seemed to be, given what her parents had done to her, and she commented as such as she wiped up the last of her masala butter paneer.
“I know, right? You’d think I’d be a basket case. But that’s where Tamara and the others come in. Without them, I would be seriously screwed up, I’m sure.” Jenny pushed her empty plate away and stretched.
Olivia tried hard not to ogle the thin strip of pale abdomen revealed by Jenny’s motion.
“I’d like you to meet them.” Jenny’s teeth worried at her bottom lip.
Olivia’s heart skipped a beat. She knew from everything Jenny had said that this was the equivalent of meeting the family. These people mattered to Jenny, and their approval meant everything. “I’d love to meet them. In fact, I’d be honored.”
Jenny chuckled. “Don’t tell them that, it’ll go to their heads.” Then her expression turned serious. “Look, I haven’t told them your real story, okay? I think that’s up to you. But if it is okay to share with them, that would be cool, because I’m usually not happy about keeping things from them.” She held up her hands. “But only when it’s okay with you. Honest.”
Olivia’s heart warmed at the care Jenny was prepared to take over her situation. “I appreciate that, you not telling them. And I know I’ve put you in an awkward position. But for now, yes, if we can keep it just between us two, that would be better. I’m hoping we can stop all the lying soon.”
“Okay.”
They split the check and strolled back toward the subway. It was icy cold, the sidewalks a mess of half-melted snow and frozen patches. They walked side by side, not quite touching, and that exquisite tension between them sizzled even more.
“Do you want to come back to mine? Maybe have some coffee or a glass of wine?” Olivia asked as they reached the subway entrance. She absolutely did not want the evening to end. Of course, in the privacy of her home, they could kiss, and touch, and… She swayed at the surge of heat and desire that flooded through her.
Jenny hesitated, then exhaled a long sigh. “A big part of me would love to.” She leaned in closer to Olivia and lowered her voice. “But I have a feeling if we did that, we wouldn’t stop at kissing this time.”
“Maybe not.” Olivia’s entire body throbbed at the thought.
Jenny’s chuckle was throaty, and more wonderful sensations cascaded down Olivia’s body. “You see, I was thinking that was a bad thing.”
Olivia took a half-step back. “Huh?” What was Jenny trying to say? Did she not want her?
“Not in general!” Jenny held up her hands. “Please, don’t get the wrong idea. I definitely, definitely want to get to that point sometime. Just…not so soon. I’m a little old-fashioned like that but also—”
“You need to be sure of me before we take that step,” Olivia finished, all of it making sense. She let no judgment seep into her tone, no disappointment. She’d said ever since the weekend they would take this at Jenny’s pace; she wanted Jenny to believe in her—in them—completely. Even if taking it slower meant her body would have no relief from everything Jenny’s mere presence did to her.
“Exactly. I know that must sound like I’m still thinking badly of you, but that’s not it. I’m—”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Olivia slipped her arms around Jenny and gave her a quick hug. It was the type of hug friends would give each other, nothing more. Then she stepped back again. “I absolutely, totally understand. I’m not upset by it.”
“Promise?”
Jenny looked so worried, Olivia gave her another hug, trying not to linger too long in the wonderful feeling of Jenny’s arms around her once more.
“Scout’s honor.” Olivia released Jenny and threw up a three-finger salute.
“Don’t do that, you’ll have me picturing you in a cute little uniform.”
Olivia waggled her eyebrows. “Oh yes?”
Jenny snorted, gave Olivia a gentle push on the arm, then increased the distance between them. “Come on, I’m supposed to be thinking about white bears or something so I don’t let my mind go to the sexy place.”
“The sexy place. That sounds rather nice.” Olivia gave her a sultry smile.
Jenny leaned in once more so she could whisper in Olivia’s ear. “I’m pretty sure it will be, when we get there.” Then she dropped the briefest of kisses on Olivia’s cheek and stepped back. “Come on, let’s get on a train before this gets out of hand.”
Olivia laughed and followed her down the steps into the station.
Chapter 31
It was a little after eight on Thursday evening when Jenny’s phone rang, and warmth spread through her when she saw the name in the caller display. “Adrienne! How are you? How is Morgan? How was Christmas in California?”
“Hi, Jenny. We’re both very well, thank you. And Christmas in California was odd. Not having to trudge through icy streets in eighteen layers of clothing felt very wrong.”
Jenny laughed and snuggled back into the couch. She had the apartment to herself for the evening—surprise, surprise, Carl was at Solomon’s again.
“But I am not complaining. Life here is wonderful.” Adrienne’s v
oice dropped in tone, and the emotion it carried was palpable.
“Aw, that’s so good to hear!”
“So, how are you?”
“I’m good.” Jenny paused. “Well, work isn’t so great and went off the charts for a while, but outside of work is kind of nice right now. Although the two are connected, so that’s a little bizarre to deal with.”
“I have no idea what any of that meant.”
Jenny could picture Adrienne shaking her head. “Yeah, sorry. I’m in Happy-Romance Land, so my brain has, of course, forgotten how to function.”
“Romance?” Adrienne sounded excited. “Tell me!”
“Uh, yeah, this is where it gets funky.” Jenny took a deep breath. “Remember the woman I told you about from C&V? Olivia, the icy, British woman?”
“Yes?” Adrienne drew the word out.
“Yeah.” Jenny hesitated. “It turns out she’s not that icy.”
There was a moment of silence. “Are you pulling my leg right now?”
Jenny snorted. “No, but I can see why you’d think that.”
“Start at the beginning.”
Jenny snuggled back into the couch and spilled it all—Olivia, the project, Chrissy, Derek. But not Olivia’s fake marriage situation—Olivia hadn’t yet given her the go-ahead, and Jenny would respect that.
“Good God, I don’t even know where to start with what you’ve just told me. Actually, that’s not true. Firstly, I’m very happy for you. Olivia sounds lovely, and what you’ve started together has so much promise. I’m delighted.”
“Aw, thanks.”
“And I’m also ridiculously proud of you for dealing with the situation with Chrissy and Derek the way you did. At the risk of sounding patronizing, you’ve grown so much in the last couple of years. It’s wonderful to witness.”
“Thanks.” Jenny glowed with the praise. “That means a lot, coming from you.”
“But I do have one question.” Adrienne’s tone turned even more serious. “Are you sure you want this job at C&V? Because it doesn’t sound like it’s firing you up. You could just quit and find something else. You now know lots of people in the business you could reach out to.”
Jenny chewed on her bottom lip while she considered Adrienne’s words. Was it an option? To just say, “To hell with this, I’m out of here”? Go off and do something new? But if she did, that would mean more upheaval, more change, and she’d barely gotten settled from the C&V takeover of TC Productions.
“Jenny? Are you still there?”
“Sorry, yes.” She ran a hand through her hair. “You’re right. What I do for C&V doesn’t exactly have me leaping out of bed every day. But it’s still what I know and what I’m good at, and maybe it’ll get better the longer I stay there.”
“Or maybe it won’t.” Adrienne’s voice was gentler. “Jenny, you are good at what you do, but you can also do so much more. That idea you had for the Christmas show was brilliant. And you know I loved what you did with the last project we worked on together. You are full of ideas and I think they’re wasted on a PA role. Don’t you want to push for something bigger? Something where you can really fly?”
“It’s all a bit daunting,” Jenny managed to whisper. Her stomach churned.
“I understand. I do. But I genuinely think you have so much more to offer and could get so much more satisfaction if you took a chance on being a little bolder. You did it with the Chrissy debacle, and with giving Olivia a chance to prove herself to you. Why not take that new, braver Jenny out into the job world, and see how far she can go?”
Adrienne’s words made Jenny equal parts excited and scared. I have been braver these past few months, that’s true. But keeping her head down, sticking with the job she knew, was so safe. Steady. Reliable.
Boring.
“If you want me to ask around, see if anyone has anything that—”
“No!” Jenny practically shouted the word. “Sorry. I mean, thank you, for the offer, and everything, but I think I need to think about this. Work out what I want to do.”
“Of course. I’m sorry if I pushed too hard.”
“You didn’t. But I do appreciate what you said. And why. It’s just…hard.”
“It is. Anything new is always a challenge. The trick is to own it and not let it own you. When you can do that, you can do anything you set your mind on.”
Not for the first time in the last six or seven years, Jenny wondered if Adrienne would be willing to adopt her. God knew she’d never gotten such good advice from her actual mother. “Thanks, Adrienne.” Her voice croaked. “I… Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.” Adrienne’s voice was also a little husky. “Any time.”
Olivia watched as Jenny and Maxwell finished their lunch break with a quick game of desk basketball. Once again, Jenny ran out the winner.
Maxwell shook his head as Jenny danced a victory jig around the desks. “I hate it when she does that.”
“She is rather insufferable, yes.” Olivia winked at him and he laughed.
“Hey!” Jenny stood with her hands on her hips and glared at the pair of them.
Olivia, her libido racing into high gear, blew Jenny a kiss without thinking.
Maxwell’s knowing laugh made her cheeks flame with heat.
She turned back to her screen, shaking her head at the soft laughter from Jenny that followed. A new email pinged into her inbox and her heart stuttered. The subject line showed it was the staff vacancies bulletin the HR department sent out every couple of weeks, and she knew there was every chance this one would include details of the production manager role made vacant by Derek’s departure.
She glanced up.
Maxwell was busy packing up his bag; she knew he was headed uptown to a TV studio.
Jenny was by the coffee machine, laughing with the guy from the mail room.
Olivia couldn’t help but smile—everyone seemed to love Jenny and her irreverent humor.
Turning her gaze, somewhat reluctantly, away from Jenny and back to her screen, Olivia clicked open the email. There were three vacancies listed and, sure enough, one of them was production manager. She opened the attached link to the job description on the HR internal website and read through it, her heart pounding.
It sounded like a great role, something someone could make their own. It also seemed as if they’d taken the opportunity of Derek’s departure to overhaul the position, and it had definitely been upgraded. The list of responsibilities included four things that Derek had never done, three of which Olivia did not have experience of, either. However, she did meet all the other criteria for the role.
Should she apply? Would it make her look foolish in the eyes of HR and the production team senior management if she did, given how relatively little time she’d been at C&V? But then, Zoey had made it clear they should all consider applying once it was advertised.
Of course, there was another factor, one that, to Olivia’s surprise, she found more important.
Jenny.
If Olivia applied for the job, would that send a message to Jenny that their relationship, albeit a shiny new one, wasn’t important? Because if by some chance Olivia did get the job, she and Jenny could no longer see each other. The thought of relegating Jenny to second place over her career did not sit well with her. Yes, she wanted to progress in her career. And yes, she’d been frustrated at her lack of opportunities since coming to New York. This job, if she got it, would put paid to all of that, and could seriously kickstart the kind of career she wanted here. But at what cost?
“You okay?”
Olivia looked up and blinked.
Jenny stood before her, her head tilted, a small frown on her face. “You’ve got a full scrunchy face going on. Everything all right?”
Olivia sat up straighter. “All good.” Wait, there weren’t supposed to be any mo
re lies, remember? You promised to always be honest with her. She sucked in a breath. “HR just sent out the details of the new production manager’s job.”
Jenny stepped closer. “They did, huh?” Her tone was casual, but her eyes gave away her concern.
“Yes.”
“How does it sound?”
Olivia licked her lips. “Good. Very good, actually.”
Jenny walked to Olivia’s desk and perched on the edge. “Will you apply?”
“I…I’m not sure.”
“Because of us?” Jenny asked in a whisper.
Olivia nodded.
To her surprise, Jenny’s face lit up with a wide smile. “Thanks.”
“Wh-what?”
Jenny made to reach for Olivia, then seemed to remember where they were and stopped herself. “The fact that you’re even taking me—us—into consideration is kind of awesome. So, thanks.”
“Of course I’m doing that.” Olivia managed to keep her voice low, but it still vibrated with intensity. “What we’ve started is hugely important.”
“It is.” Jenny leaned a little closer. “Trust me, I feel the same. But at the same time, I don’t think either of us should give up a career opportunity just because we’ve started seeing each other.”
“But what would we do if I got the job?”
Jenny shrugged. “We’d figure it out.” Her words were casual, almost throwaway, but there was a tension in her shoulders and worry in her eyes. “Besides, I’ve got my own thinking to do about career stuff.” She looked around to make sure they weren’t overheard. “I’m not completely sure my future is with C&V.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. I spoke with Adrienne the other day. She said some things that got me thinking.”
“Nice things?”
Jenny blushed, and it was adorable. “Lots of them. But, after what my parents did, I’m not a person who handles change very well, so it’s not easy to think about moving on.”
She looked embarrassed by the admission and Olivia itched to hold her hand, link their fingers, and rub soothing circles on Jenny’s hand. “I understand. But look, nothing is going to happen instantly. We’ve got time to think this all through.”
