by Kay Manis
With no call from Rory, the hard fact had hit me this morning as I’d laid in bed—this was the end for us. I’d always expected it, yet I still wasn’t anymore prepared for it today than I had been the first moment I’d realized our relationship was doomed.
I turned the coffee pot off halfway through its cycle and dragged my body down the hall, tumbling into my bed as the tears finally fell.
I’d experienced heartbreak and devastating loss before in my life, but this was nothing compared to the absolute total abyss Rory’s absence had pushed me into. As I tugged the covers over my head to block out the world, I clutched the phone to my chest, praying he would call and end my agony, knowing it wouldn’t happen.
I jumped at the sound of a cell phone ringing and popped up from my bed, staring down at the screen. Nothing.
The ringing continued and I realized it was coming from the work phone sitting on my nightstand. I tossed Rory’s phone aside and picked up my work one, not surprised to see Matt’s number on the screen.
I had no desire to talk to him, or anyone, but he was our sponsor and I couldn’t afford to piss him off. I looked at the time on the phone, surprised I’d slept a few hours.
“Hello,” I said.
“Oh, hey there, Hindley. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, I’ve been awake for a while.” It wasn’t a total lie. I’d been up half the night already.
“Oh, good. I was calling to see if you’d like to have a late lunch with me, say maybe one o’clock?”
The only thing I felt like doing was throwing up and shaving off all my hair, but I had to pull out of this funk, and fast. My career, and Rory’s, depended on it.
“Sure,” I said, knowing the outing would at least get me out of bed. “One o’clock sounds good.”
“Great, I’ll pick you up from your house.”
“Actually, I’m going into the office soon.” I hadn’t really planned to go in today but maybe a few hours in the office would help clear my mind. “Why don’t you pick me up there?”
“That sounds great. I’ve heard there are a ton of good Mexican restaurants here in Austin. Feel like Mexican?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Any suggestions?”
I didn’t even have the energy to shower, much less pick a restaurant. I wouldn’t be able to eat anyway. “Why don’t you pick.”
“Okay, I’ll think of a place. See you at one.”
“See ya.”
“I’m looking forward to it, Hindley.”
Suddenly his voice changed and I felt a familiar pang of unease burn in my gut. I reminded myself that Matt was safe, he was a sponsor. And today he was a good distraction.
Two hours later, I was sitting at my desk in my office, trying to concentrate on my next potential client
Humberto Sullivan was a quarterback, two years out of college, who was making a name for himself in the big leagues. I read page after page about him, but I still couldn’t quote one single fact about the guy. The only image floating around my mind was Rory Gregor.
Before I knew what time it was, Matt had arrived and we’d headed off to a local restaurant. We sat on the patio and I watched Matt consume his second lethal margarita of the afternoon.
“Those are really strong, Matt,” I said. “You should go easy. Especially if you’re driving to the airport.”
“I’ll be fine,” he said. “I have a high tolerance when it comes to alcohol.”
I didn’t, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit in a car with someone who, in the span of thirty minutes, had consumed two margaritas. The drinks at this restaurant were legendary for not only containing tequila, but Everclear too. I’d seen many a friend fall down fast, literally, after consuming more than they should have.
Another two hours later, I was sitting in the driver’s seat of Matt’s rented car, waiting curbside at the Austin airport.
Just as expected, the power of the lethal margaritas had proven too much for Matt. I’d insisted on driving and he’d willingly obliged. Staring at his limp body in the passenger seat, I wondered how I was going to get him inside the airport. And even worse, how the hell would he ever get through security and find his gate?
Rory’s words rang through my mind. ‘You deserve someone like Matt.’
I laughed to myself. If he could only see Matt right now, I didn’t think he would agree.
Didn’t Rory understand? We were all broken in some way. No one was perfect. Well, no one singularly.
On our own, Rory and I were damaged and abused. But together, we were perfect in our imperfections. He was the missing piece of my broken soul that made me whole. I had to convince him of that.
“Thanks for taking care of me,” Matt said, his words a bit slurred as he reached out for a hug.
“Whoa, Matt.” I pushed on his chest. “I think you’re a little too drunk.”
“I like you, Hindley,” he said softly, his breath reeking of tequila.
“I like you too, Matt, but in a professional way. Not personally.”
“Oh. So, what, you only get personal with him?”
“Him who?”
He laughed sarcastically. “Him, your client.”
Oh, shit. He knew. Which probably meant others did as well.
I straightened my shoulders and donned my most professional voice. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Matt snorted. “Please, Hindley, I may be buzzed but I’m not a fool. Anyone can see the guy’s crazy about you.”
“Who?”
“Who?” He laughed. “You sound like an owl.” He sat back against his door, studying me, his head cocked. “And you like him too. Don’t you?”
I cleared my throat and squirmed in my seat. “Matt, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Okay, Hindley. If that’s the way you want to play it.”
“Play what?”
“Hindley, you’re not fooling anyone. You and Rory Gregor are involved in more than a professional relationship.”
I sucked in a breath as a wave of nausea and panic raced through my body. I was going to lose everything.
“No, we’re not,” I half shouted.
“Hey,” he held up a hand, “don’t get me wrong. I think it’s great. In fact, I’m jealous as hell of the S.O.B.”
I had no response, no words. I was paralyzed with fear. If Matt knew, then other people must know as well. Even my family seemed to ignore our insistence that Rory and I weren’t a couple.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not going to say anything to anyone. I like you too much.”
His words should have assured me but they didn’t. My head was pounding and I was breaking out in a cold sweat.
“Just be careful,” he said. “It’s not like you can’t be involved with him. It’s just that…” He thought hard about his next words.
“Just what?”
“You’re new in the industry, Hindley. I would hate to see you get a reputation, you know?”
I swallowed down the urge to vomit. “What kind of reputation?”
“You’re smart, you’re talented and creative. Those are the things you want to be known for in this business.”
“As opposed to what?”
“As opposed to the agent who sleeps with her clients to sign them.”
Shit. I’d completely fucked this up, for me and for Rory.
“Don’t get me wrong. I think Rory’s great,” Matt said. “I think you’re great too. Together, I think you’re unstoppable. I’m not saying I don’t think it’s a good idea for you and Rory to be together, personally.”
“Well, what are you saying?”
“Sneaking around doesn’t always give people the best impression.”
“So, you’re saying if we are together, personally, it’s better to go public?”
“That’s your decision. All I know is, there is no way you two can hide your feelings for one another and think you’re getting away with it.”
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I sagged against the door, releasing a heavy sigh. How stupid had we been, thinking we could hide our feelings from everyone around us.
“If you really do want to be together then it is probably better to confess and get it over with. Hiding only makes things worse.”
And wasn’t that truth, not only about me and Rory, but about life.
“The press loves secrets,” he said. “They love exposing secrets. That’s what ruins reputations, not the actual relationship. Rumors will destroy you in this industry. If there are rumors about Rory, that he’s secretly screwing his attorney, I’m not sure Sonora would want to keep him.”
I covered my mouth with my hand, fighting back the tears.
“I’m sorry, Hindley, but I don’t want you to be blindsided.”
I nodded. Matt was being cool and I knew he truly did have my best interest at heart.
“Thank you for talking to me,” I said. “For being brutally honest.”
He smiled reassuringly. “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. I love working for Sonora Water, I really do. And I do care about their reputation. It’s a good, solid company. But the reason I’m sharing this with you is because of you. I care about you and your reputation more.”
I felt the emotions welling up inside and fought to control myself. “I know,” I said, touching his arm gently. “And I appreciate your concern more than you know.”
“You’re smart, Hindley. Very smart. You’ll be fine. Just be careful, that’s all. Thanks for the ride. Sorry about getting sloshed.”
I laughed. “I tried to warn you.”
“That you did.” He chuckled. “Thanks again.” He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek that felt more innocent today than offensive. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
He shut the door but leaned in through the open window. “I was a fool to think I ever had a chance with you.”
“Why do you say that? I think you’re a very attractive man.”
“I was a fool to think that Rory Gregor would ever let someone steal you away. The man’s completely in love with you, Hindley.” He searched my face as if he recognized something within me. “It’s not hard to see why.”
My mouth fell open at his revelation. Did Rory really love me? I knew I loved him.
“I’ll call you as soon as the commercial’s done,” he said. Stepping back, he waved goodbye and disappeared into the airport.
I sat in stunned silence. Did Rory Gregor love me? Could he love me? Why was that fact so unfathomable?
A banging noise jarred me from my thoughts as I jumped in my seat.
“Hey, lady.” A man stood next to my window, dressed in some type of uniform. “You can’t park here. Move it or I’ll have it towed.”
“Do you know where the rental car counter is?” I asked.
“All rental car drop-offs are down below in Terminal A.”
“Thanks,” I said, rolling up the window. Shoving the car into drive I slowly pulled away from the curb.
Rory Gregor loved me—whether he knew it or not. I had no doubt Matt’s words were true. That’s why Rory was so possessive of me, why he didn’t feel worthy.
A smile bigger than Kim Kardashian’s ass spread across my face. Rory Gregor loved me. And I had a plan to show him.
Dana pulled up to the curb at the rental car facility in her BMW convertible and I slipped inside. “Thanks for picking me up.”
“No problem. Glad I was awake.”
I gazed over at my best friend. Her normally tan complexion was ashen and her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles underneath. She looked like death warmed over. “Rough night?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah.” She laughed. “I’m surprised I didn’t see you there. I kept expecting you to walk through the door any minute.”
“Where?”
“At Leif’s.”
“Why would I have been at Leif’s?”
“Because Rory was there.”
Oh, God. Rory had gone to a party after their fight. Suddenly she had an urgent need to find him.
“What were you doing at Leif’s?”
“It was Rory’s wrap party,” Dana said.
“What wrap party?”
“The one Leif threw him last night, to celebrate the end of filming his first commercial.”
Images of Rory at a party flashed through my head. What if he’d gotten drunk or high? What if he’d buried his anger with me inside another woman? Bile rose in my throat and I was about to ask Dana to pull over.
“Calm down, Cinderella,” Dana said. “Prince Charming didn’t do anything. He came in, looked around, said hi to everyone then locked himself in Leif’s back bedroom the rest of the night.”
“Really?” I asked, still unsure of his commitment to me.
“Yes,” she sighed. “What the hell happened between you two anyway? He was so pissed off when he came in, storming around with his hands fisted like he was going to punch a wall.”
“We had dinner with my family.”
“Oh, lovely. I bet that went over like shit on a birthday cake.” Dana laughed. “Was Geneva there?”
“Oh, yeah. Stan too.”
She shook her head. “Poor Stan.”
“It was sad. Geneva has no shame. She was all flirty with Rory with no regard to her husband.”
“That bitch is a skank. I bet she fucked five different guys on her honeymoon. And Stan wasn’t one of them.”
We both burst out into peals of laugher. The sad thing was, Dana was probably right.
I sunk back into my seat with a heavy sigh.
“What’s wrong?” Dana asked.
“I’m gonna tell him.”
“Tell who what?”
“Rory. I’m going to tell him everything. About my past. About what happened.”
She pulled over to the side of the road and shoved the car into park. Turning in her seat she sat directly facing me, her eyes wide. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
She held her hands up to the sky. “Well, thank the Lord, Buddha, Mohammad, and any other savior of the world.” She reached across the console and squeezed my leg. “It’s about fuckin’ time. The guy was a mess last night, Hindley. No one could reach him.”
“I don’t know why he thinks he’s beneath me.”
“He had a shit stepfather who beat his ass on a daily basis.”
“Really?” Rory had never told me that. I knew he’d had a bad childhood, but he never told me he’d been physically abused.
“One day,” Dana said, “he fought back and beat the shit out of his dad. The cops arrested Rory and his mom didn’t do jack shit to bail him out of jail.”
I sucked in a breath, covering my mouth. “Oh my God.”
“Leif said he spent almost six months in juvie.”
“Why hasn’t he told me any of this?” I wondered out loud.
“Same reason you haven’t told him any of your shit story. It’s not something that gives people the warm fuzzies. Especially someone you’ve fallen in love with.”
I gasped, my eyes widening as my body stiffened. Did everyone know? “Is it that obvious?”
She laughed. “You two have been in love since that first kiss back at Geneva’s wedding. You’re both just too damn stupid, stubborn, and hard-headed to see it.”
I couldn’t contain my joy any longer. I reached across the car and hugged Dana tight. “Thank you.”
“Why?”
“For always being my voice of reason.” I released her and sat back in my seat. “For always being there. Especially when I thought I’d go over the deep end.”
“I love you, Hindley. You know that. I’ll always be there.”
I nodded, unable to speak.
“And trust me,” she said, smiling, her deep dimples drilling into her cheeks. “There is nothing you can say about your past that will make Rory stop loving you. He’ll probably love you even more once he finds out how strong and brave you are.”
“Can you drop
me off at my house?”
“You don’t want to go straight to your boy?”
“No, not yet. I have an idea. But I need your help.” I just hoped against hope that Dana was right. I prayed Rory would still love me in spite of my past. Maybe even because of it.
Chapter 11
-RORY-
I surveyed Leif’s living room, convinced I’d done as much good as I could to clean up from the party last night. It had been quite the celebration, supposedly in my honor, only celebrating last night was the least thing I’d wanted to do.
I couldn’t remember feeling lower in my life. Had I really pushed away the only woman who gave two shits about me, the real me, and not my fame, or money, or anything else?
Afraid to answer my own question, I fell into the plush leather couch, not surprised that, once again, I’d fucked up a good thing.
Hindley had been nothing but kind and caring, completely genuine in her feelings for me. Something about watching her parents interact in a gentle, loving way had pushed deep-seated buttons within me. Their exchanges of love and adoration for Hindley only reiterated how far apart our worlds were.
Her parents loved each other, cared for one another, cared for her. My parents despised each other and hated the fuck out of me.
Hindley’s mother supported her and nurtured her. My mom had let her own asshole of a husband beat the shit out of both of us on a daily basis. And she’d never contacted me since she’d had the police cart me off to jail ten years ago. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She found me shortly after I went pro. Apparently, she was drawn more to my money. When I refused to give her a dime, she’d left as fast as she’d come.
It wasn’t just Hindley’s family dynamic that screwed with my head. It was also painfully clear that Paul valued education more than anything. I was pretty sure there was no way he’d ever accept me as worthy of his daughter’s love after he found out I was a fucking high school dropout.
What worried me most of all though was her family’s obvious denial of our ‘professional’ relationship. Who were we kidding? Everyone knew we were together. Everyone except Dipshit Matt Davis from Sonora Water. Dick.
Why was I so jealous of him? I didn’t know where this rage came from inside of me. Actually, I did know. It was born from my childhood, the need to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves.
