by Raathi Chota
“One doesn’t mean it? Do you know who?”
“Not yet, but they can’t all love you, right? Yeah, they might have a crush, but in my opinion, I just think that one doesn’t.” He shrugged. “We all have something or someone that takes away the pain. It’s like you,” he added. “You say you’re happy, but you don’t mean it, yet we somehow believe you.”
“Where’s all this coming from?” I nervously laughed.
“The heart.” He pointed to his chest, and I slowly nodded, and he laughed.
“Nah, I’m joking. I read it in this one book then added a few of my own words.”
“Wow, okay.” I laughed but stopped when he rested his hands on my shoulders.
“I’m gonna tell you the same thing I said to Blake, Levi, Carter, and everyone else who came to me to rant,” he said then cleared his throat. “Stop messing with their feelings just because you’re uncertain about yours.”
I stared at Keene because I didn’t know what to say, but he didn’t seem phased as he let go. We stood there for a second and stared at each other as the music played in the background. I finally understood what he meant and decided to back off. I gave him a slow nod then looked at the house.
“Where’s Levi?”
“He’s in there somewhere,” Keene answered. I turned back to see he motioned with his eyes toward the house. I raised a brow. He rolled his eyes and told me to find him. So I set off to find Levi Radcliff, but my priority was to find a bathroom. Thankfully the group by the stairs were gone, so I quickly walked up the stairs and looked for the nearest bathroom. Once I was done, I walked out of the bathroom. I turned my head to see Miranda laugh. She had a cup in her hand, and someone dragged her into a room. My eyes widened as I walked toward them. I called out for Miranda, but she was so drunk that all she did was wave at me and give me the thumbs up. I tilted my head to see the person dragging her, but I couldn’t recognize them since there was barely any light in the hallway. They went into the room, and when the door shut, I cursed. I leaned my head against the door and tried to listen in. I heard voices. People made their way upstairs, and I took a step back so they didn’t think I was a creep. It was two guys who didn’t seem like they were going anywhere. They leaned against the wall opposite each other, and I watched as the one whipped out a Zippo. I had to go back down so I tried to walk past them as quickly as I could. I immediately stopped when one of them stuck out their foot. A second later, the one on the other side did the same. I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at them. Both of them smoked as they watched me with amused expressions.
“You look stressed,” the one of the left said as I turned to him. He held out his pack of cigarettes, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw his friend played with the Zippo.
“You’re just offering one to me?” I raised a brow as I tried to step over their feet, which only made them straighten their posture and look at me.
“Yeah, we’re friendly smokers who offer to those in need.” The one with the Zippo chuckled. I looked at them because I’d never met them before. They looked older, so they must know Jaden. I looked down at the pack of cigarettes again then at the guy with the lighter. He flicked it open and hovered his hand over it with a playful smirk. I let out a sigh then took the cigarette and put it between my lips. He held up the lighter, and I put two fingers against the cigarette as I let him light it for me. I inhaled once again, but this time it felt fresh from a new cigarette.
“Err…thanks,” I mumbled then walked off.
“No prob,” the one with the pack said as I walked toward the stairs. I decided to stop for a bit and sat down by the stairs. The party was still in full swing with people who danced, a group played spin the bottle, and I winced at the memory of spin the bottle on New Year’s Eve. My phone vibrated in my jacket pocket, and I took it out to see a message from Benny. I pressed the cigarette between my lips to hold it in place as I typed.
Benny: Heard you at Jaden’s party.
Lana: Yeah.
Benny: You okay?
Lana: Yeah.
Benny: No, you’re not, what’s wrong? Should I come to get you?
Lana: It’s not important, and I don’t want to spoil your night.
Benny: You are to me, Lana. I’m coming.
Lana: Thank you.
Benny: Anything, I love you.
Lana: You too.
Benny: Be there soon, Aidan’s also coming because he’s worried about Tiffany.
I wanted to reply, but a figure towered over me. I glanced up to see Levi. I removed the cigarette from my lips then exhaled.
“Hey,” he said then leaned against the wall.
“Hi,” I mumbled.
“How was camp?” he asked, and I watched as he took out his lighter and a cigarette.
“It was…okay. How’s it staying with Keene?”
“It’s great.” He smiled. “It’s fun to live with your best friend, even though it feels like I’m living with my parents. I miss the Gunners too; they were welcoming.”
I nodded then watched as he took a quick drag and exhaled. He put the cigarette between his lips then let it rest there as he leaned against the wall and placed one foot against it. He shoved his hands in his pockets then looked down at me.
“Levi,” I said and didn’t realize how soft it came out. “Do yo—do you remember calling me when I was at camp?”
He tore his gaze away from me then put the cigarette between two fingers. I waited patiently as he exhaled. He looked at me from the corner of his eye then down.
“Yes, yes I do. I had a couple of drinks that night then somehow ended up in front of your house, waiting for you.” He laughed then continued. “I remember calling you, having a few drinks, then Keene and Axel getting me.”
I let out another drag then crushed the cigarette against the wooden staircase. I placed the cigarette next to my foot, then Levi joined me. While he sat down next to me, I glanced at his clothing; he wore a gray shirt, faded black jeans that sagged a bit, and his white and black high-top Vans.
“I was drunk, princess. Y’know people say what they don’t mean,” he said as I bit my lip. “Oh wait, that’s not what I meant.” He shook his head. “I meant that…err…I-I, ugh, fuck it.”
The silence stretched between us was odd, because there was always something to talk about. I never got bored when I was around Levi. Now I didn’t want to speak, and he must’ve noticed.
“Y’know I thought moving here, it’d bring us closer together,” he said then turned to me. I looked into gunmetal blue eyes, entirely different from Keene’s. His were reckless, striking, outgoing, yet cold and ruthless. “Instead we sorta just…drifted apart.”
I didn’t know what to say because I knew it was true. Levi came once a year, and we’d use up every second living our lives, doing crazy stuff that got us in trouble in the end. It’s scary that we weren’t the only ones who’d noticed. Mom and Jade regularly spoke, so they always asked about us, Uncle Griff always mentioned us, Keene and Jaden brought up old times, even Linda talked about us. Those were the people in our lives before all of this.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted,” I whispered.
“Did you get what you wanted?” he asked, and I turned to him with squinted eyes. “Did you get your happy ending?”
I stared at Levi, and I wanted to laugh, but it’d be inappropriate. I couldn’t believe he still remembered my favorite movie, Shrek, and how I say there’s a happy ending. He finally caught on to what I tried to say.
“I-I don—”
“Lana.” I turned my head to see Benny and Aidan by the front door. They hadn’t seen me yet as they continued to call.
“I have to go, Levi,” I said then stood up. I creased out my dress then looked at him.
“Okay.” He smiled. “Don’t worry, princess, you’ll get your happy ending sooner or later.”
***
Since we barely did work at school, Blake didn’t show up. Yet Dad still sent me to sch
ool because there’s no one to look after me at home. I knew I was old enough to take care of myself, but I got what he said about James. I was in the cafeteria and sat at our usual table and munched on pasta. The topic mostly spoken about was prom. The girls talked about their outfits while I nodded, but I was engrossed in my food. When I glanced up, I saw Ethan enter the cafeteria. My eyes widened at his appearance. He was dressed in a blue tuxedo with a matching bow tie, his hair combed to the side with a few strands covering his forehead. I nudged Benny’s knee with mine, and he followed my gaze to Ethan.
“Oh, shit,” Benny muttered. Ethan approached our table, and I looked down when I noticed the corsage in his hand. He awkwardly tapped Miranda on the shoulder, and she turned around. Her eyes widened as she eyed him up and down.
“Hey.” He smiled.
“Hi,” she said, and I noticed her cheeks turned red.
“Way to gain attention, Baxter.” Carter smirked, and I noticed the cafeteria went silent as everyone stared. Ethan ignored Carter then looked down at Miranda. He took a deep breath then said, “Miranda, we’ve been friends for a while now, and I find you very attractive and cool. Marcus was a dick to treat you like that. He doesn’t know what a mistake he made. You’ve been talking about prom for a while now, and I guess you were upset when he broke up with you just a few days before. Err…I…was wondering if I could escort you to prom?”
Everyone turned to Miranda with anticipated looks. I admit I was too, but I thought about Liam. I glanced around the cafeteria and realized he wasn’t here. Neither was Marcus.
“Of course!” she exclaimed then jumped up. Ethan laughed as she swung her arms around his neck.
“Why don’t you do that kind of stuff for me?” Melissa raised her brow at Nick.
“I don’t need to do that to show how much I love you,” he said then kissed her. She rolled her eyes but eventually kissed him back. The bell rang, and everyone made their way to class. I gathered my things then walked out of the cafeteria. As I walked down the hallway, I noticed Liam by a locker. I raised a brow then slowly approached him. I noticed he fiddled with the lock.
“Liam? Whose locker is that?” I asked, and he banged his fist against it.
“Do you know Miranda’s combination?” he asked, and I noticed the saddened look in his eyes as he turned to me.
“Err…yeah, sure,” I mumbled, and he stepped back and gave me space as I put the combination in. Once it was unlocked, I slowly opened it, but Liam was fast and grabbed stuff out of her locker. One of them must’ve been flowers, because I saw a little daisy fall to the bottom of her locker. I closed the locker then turned to Liam. He stuffed the flowers in the trash can, and my eyes widened when he kicked it. He took a few steps back then exhaled deeply.
“Liam? Are you okay?” I whispered as he gripped the chocolates.
“No.” He shook his head then spun around. “I’m not okay.”
“Liam, wait!” I called out, but he hid the chocolates in his jacket then dropped his skateboard. I hopelessly watched as he skated past everyone then turned the corner.
“Hey, what happened?” Benny asked as he swung his arm around my shoulder. I glanced up at Benny with a frown. I didn’t have to say anything from the look on his face; he had already realized. I looked at Miranda’s locker then at the trashcan.
“Liam was gonna ask Miranda to prom.”
Chapter Fifteen
Lana
Liam didn’t show up the rest of the day even though we left him tons of messages and calls. Benny and I decided to stop by his apartment and see how he’s doing. I was sad for him but happy to see a smile on my best friend’s face.
“Didn’t Ethan know that Liam had a crush on Miranda?” I asked as we stepped out of the elevator.
“Well, Liam never admitted it when we all hung out, but you’d think everyone would know considering how he acts around her,” Benny mumbled. “Then again, Ethan is sometimes oblivious.”
“Yeah, but Miranda wouldn’t latch onto someone immediately. She cared about Marcus a lot,” I stated. “Ethan was just a kind and supportive friend. He doesn’t like seeing girls cry.”
“Didn’t she have a crush on him?”
“Oh shit, yeah.” My eyes widened, and I groaned as we walked down the hall. “If Ethan keeps on acting cute, her crush on him will eventually come back.”
“Well, he’s going to Australia soon; Miranda and Liam are staying in Illinois.” Benny shrugged. “Hopefully this prom thing will be a one-time thing.”
“Yeah,” I said as we stood in front of the Sanchezes’ apartment. “Plus, who wouldn’t say yes to Ethan Baxter, captain of the basketball team and a total sweetheart?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Benny stare. I turned to him with a raised brow. “What? You haven’t even asked me yet.”
“Wha—I thought since we’re already a couple, we’d go together,” he said then kissed my cheek.
“Yeah, but it would’ve been nice to be asked,” I joked then looked away. I heard a sigh then shuffles beside me. I stared at the beige wall for a while then turned to him. My brows raised when I saw him down on one knee with his hands clasped together. I folded my arms as I watched him.
“Lana Willson, this is so unnecessary, but I’d do anything to make you happy. Will you be my date to the prom this Saturday?”
The corner of my mouth pulled up into a smirk as I turned to the door.
“You’re going to have to try harder than that, Nielson,” I said then knocked on the door. He chuckled beside me as he got up. The door creaked opened a few seconds later with Liam’s grandma in front of us. She was short compared to Liam, who was six feet tall, yet I noticed he got his tender brown eyes from her.
“Hello, welcome, welcome.” She ushered us into the apartment as she stepped aside.
“Hey, Grandma Sanchez, is Liam here?” Benny asked as he shut the door. Apparently, she didn’t hear as she walked further into the apartment. Her steps were slow, and before she walked into the kitchen, she turned around.
“Would you two like tea? I’d ask Liam, but he’s been in his room all day,” she said then looked at Benny. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s upset because there’s a dance comin—”
“Oh! A dance, I remember in my day, dancing at the yearly town dance. Big instruments, lovely singing, and beautiful dresses.” She smiled then looked at me. “Do you dance?”
“Err…I-I’m not the best.” I shrugged.
“Yet you’re perfect to me,” Benny said then took my hand. I laughed as he pulled me toward him then twirled me around. Grandma Sanchez clapped as we continued to waltz. Benny’s arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled me in for a kiss. I smiled against his plump lips as I ran my hand down his face. The kiss was short. I looked up into his brown eyes and noticed how gentle yet fragile they were. We backed away when Grandma Sanchez spoke.
“Aah, young love. It’s beautiful to watch yet sometimes hard with all these phones and technology.” She shook her head but nonetheless still smiled at us. “Now, would you like some tea?”
“That’d be great,” Benny answered. “Where’s Liam?”
“Oh, that boy.” Mrs. Sanchez complained then walked into the kitchen and called his name. We followed the old woman into the kitchen as she turned on the kettle. Benny leaned against the counter, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Liam by the doorframe. It’s like he wanted to become part of the frame as he leaned into it. His hair was messed up, his Adam’s apple moved up and down, and the biggest frown was molded onto his face.
“Hey, man,” Benny said. “Are you okay?”
“I blew it,” he mumbled. “I should’ve asked before lunch, I shouldn’t have put it in her locker, I should have manned up and jus—”
“Liam, stop it,” I cut him off. “Don’t do this to yourself. Liam Sanchez is supposed to be the joyful one in the gang.”
“How can I, Lana, when the girl that I’m downheartedly in love with doesn’t know?” he exclaimed
then walked off. I bit the inside of my cheek when I heard his door slam a few seconds later. I knew how it felt when someone you had feelings for didn’t know; I’d felt Liam’s pain yet I accepted it and moved on. Liam was different, though, because mostly everyone knew that he had feelings for Miranda. Mostly everyone except her. I looked over my shoulder at Benny, who already made his way toward Liam’s bedroom. I turned to his grandma, who stood by the counter and made tea. I decided to help her while Benny spoke to Liam.
“My grandson wants love because he thinks he doesn’t get it at home,” Grandma Sanchez said. “I might not remember everything, but I’ll never forget the day he tried to get his parents’ attention.” She placed the tea bags in. “They’re so busy with work they barely have time for their son and the things he’s up to in that room.”
My brows rose because Grandma Sanchez might’ve seen Liam’s wall. I looked down to see her smile as she poured the hot water into the cups.
“I might be old and facing Alzheimer’s, but I know when my grandson is in trouble. I know when he’s unhappy,” she said then laughed. I thought of when Keene asked me about Aidan and Liam…if they’re truly happy. “Then again I’m just an old lady who will probably forget all of this by dinner.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Please be a dear and get the sugar for me.”
I nodded yet tried to avoid the strangeness from her laughs. Once we finished, I put the cups on a tray. She walked into the living room and turned on the TV while I walked to Liam’s bedroom. I entered the clustered room and went over to the desk. I put the tray down then looked at Liam, who had his face buried in his pillow. I turned to Benny with a questioning look as I handed him a cup. He sighed in response then sipped his tea.
