by Raathi Chota
“Not blaming her, though. I put her through so much.”
“Even though Benny’s my best friend, I hope you all make up. It’s fun when we’re all together.”
“Yeah, and same with Ethan. Good luck,” I said, and he raised his fist and we fist bumped. From there, conversation died down as Liam and I stared opposite at the people who had fun while we moped about two girls who ironically were best friends.
“How do you cope?” Liam asked.
“Huh?” I turned to him with my eyes squinted.
“With the rejection from Lana,” he said, and my jaw tightened as I stared at him.
“Fuck you.” I exhaled tobacco in his face.
“Oh, that’s how you cope. Oh, oka—”
“No, ugh.” I facepalmed because I shouldn’t have said that. I looked up at Liam, who waited patiently. “I’m not coping. I can’t handle it. Look at me. If only things worked out differently, I’d be dancing with her, be with her, laughing with her…loving her, and she’d love me right back.”
“Same here. I can’t deal with it. Seeing Miranda every day, knowing that I had my chance and it slipped right through my fingers,” he said then took an immense sip. “It kills me, but what can you do, huh?”
I nodded in agreement then crushed my cigarette in the potted plant. Liam offered me a sip of his drink, and this time I agreed. I took a long sip and made sure the cold beverage hit the back of my throat.
“So what do we do now?” Liam asked as I handed him the bottle. I got comfortable on the sofa and looked straight ahead. Lana and Benny danced, and I noticed Miranda and Ethan laugh. Liam sighed beside me as I stared at the two couples.
“What we’ve been doing for the past few months…watch them be happy.”
Chapter Sixteen
Lana
I shut my eyes and took a bite of the cucumber and shrimp wrapped in rice and seaweed. As I chewed, I let out a moan and opened my eyes to look at Benny. He made the sushi I requested, and oh my god. I loved that he made seafood. We barely ate it at home since Dad was allergic.
“This is by far the best.” I held the roll with chopsticks. We were in the Nielsons’ kitchen on a Friday afternoon. Sam sat beside me as we tested Benny’s sushi.
“Yep.” Sam nodded as he reached over for another roll.
“Thanks.” Benny smiled then packed the leftover ingredients away.
“Speaking of sushi, Carter told me about that raw meat joke when Lana asked for sushi.” Sam laughed. “Did you get it?”
My smile faded as I felt my face heat up. I turned to Sam and continuously poked him with chopsticks to hopefully get Carter’s dirty mind out of the young boy.
“Sam, shut up,” Benny muttered as he sat opposite us. Sam laughed, and I took a quick glance at Benny. Of course, we had sex on the night of prom. We were still at the venue. It turned out that whole building had four separate ballrooms, the reason being for its long staircase. Benny and I snuck off to an abandoned room downstairs. I’d never thought I’d do it in such a prominent place with only one light available.
“Change of subject please!” I whined.
“Haha, oh Benny, have you told Lana about summer break yet?” Sam asked as he tried to recover from his laughter.
“Well, I have to now.” Benny awkwardly chuckled as I raised a brow. He turned to me with a smile, and I squinted my eyes.
“Every summer, my family and I go away for a few days to another state. It’s like a family gathering sort of thing,” he explained. “So I won’t be here for the first few days of summer.”
“Oh,” I mumbled as I thought of when my parents told me that I couldn’t go anywhere because of James. “Well, that’s only in like a week or two. We still have to graduate.”
“Oh yeah!” Sam exclaimed. “Wow, you guys are graduating. How do you feel?”
“Sad that I won’t have a locker or the same routine every day. I’m gonna miss sitting in the cafeteria with everyone.”
“And being in Mr. Bronx’s class,” Benny piped up. “Best teacher ever, man.”
“I heard there’s this teacher…Miss Rosa?” Sam gave me a questioned look.
“Yes! Don’t you try anything on her when you go to Jefferson High.” I pointed my chopsticks at him. “She’s a sweet teacher.”
“I’ll try my best.” Sam pursed his lips.
“All in all, high school is supposed to be the most intimidating, influencing, and worst years of your life,” Benny said. “Yet somehow, I’m gonna miss it.”
I smiled at Benny, and he returned the gesture then held my hand. I knew he’s going to Boston even if he said he’s thinking about it. He had to go; he couldn’t put a hold on his studies for me. After we finished the sushi, Sam and I helped Benny clean up. I had to get going because tomorrow Uncle Griff would come over for lunch, and if he’s there, Levi would be too. It’d be kind of awkward because after the partners dance Levi asked to talk to me outside. He almost kissed me, but I backed away and told him to stop. I was confused.
“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Benny asked as I gathered my things.
“Err…yeah. After lunch, though, then I’ll meet you guys at Liam’s apartment.”
“Okay, see you then.”
As I walked toward my mother’s car, my phone vibrated. I took it out of my pocket then saw a text from Carter. While I read it, the biggest smile grew on my face. I let out a high-pitched squeal, the highest I had ever done, then ran toward the car. I drove as fast as I could to Carter’s house yet kept the speed limit. Dad took Mom to work because I barely went to school, even though Dad worked in our town, since he’s the sheriff, while Mom worked in the city. Once I arrived at Carter’s house, I got out and sent him a text. I couldn’t contain the excitement within me as I read his previous text repeatedly. He did it. Carter Halls did it. He’d get out of here.
Lana: Open your front door.
Thankfully, he did open his front door with a perplexed look on his face. I let out a squeal as I ran toward him. My arms locked around his neck in a second while I jumped up. My legs wrapped around his torso, and he stumbled back, yet his grip on me tightened.
“You did it!” I cheered. Apparently, he lost his balance, and we fell. I didn’t mind, though, because I was too excited. He groaned on the floor with me above him, my legs on either side of him as well as my arms. His indigo blue eyes met mine as I smiled. “You got into Yale!” I shouted then repeatedly hit his chest with my fists.
“Ow—yeah. I did, thanks.” He laughed then grabbed my wrists.
“Sorry.” I giggled then heard a cough, which certainly wasn’t Carter. I turned my head to the side to see Blake, Miranda, Ethan, Aidan, and Tiffany look at us. My eyes widened as I bit the inside of my cheek.
“This would be much more fun if it were just the two of us,” Carter whispered. I pursed my lips then slapped his hands as he laughed. Then I got up and helped him.
“You got in?”
“Yeah, it arrived this morning.”
“Congratulations. I’m so happy for you, Carter!”
“Thanks, Lana,” he said then ruffled my hair. “Wanna see?”
I nodded with a smile then followed him into the living room. Everyone scattered around the sofa and watched TV. What really seemed to catch my eye was Miranda’s book on the coffee table.
“Hey, guys.” I waved then looked down at the book. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to get this book open!” Miranda groaned as she stared down at it. Ethan crouched down next to it while Aidan sat and stared.
“I thought Liam was going to help you.”
“Yeah, but I couldn’t wait any longer, plus the guys offered to help today so…”
I turned to Blake, who sprawled out on the armchair and scrolled through his phone. He looked up, and his eyes met mine. We stared at each other for a moment, and my thoughts drifted off to prom when he apologized. I didn’t know what to do anymore; I didn’t know if I could forgive him yet.
“Look.” Carter drew my attention. He handed me the big envelope, and I looked inside to see the contents that I wished I received. I was happy for him.
“Wow, Carter,” I said. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks,” he said as I handed it back to him. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Err…sure, anything’s fine,” I called out then turned back to the coffee table.
“Why is this so important, anyway?” Tiffany shrugged. “You can get this thing as an ebook or something.”
“I know, but something’s not right here.” Miranda frowned then collapsed next to Tiffany. “I wasn’t here when the package arrived, so I don’t know who it’s from. My mom would get mad at me if I ever brought it up.”
“And she just tells you to leave it in the car?” Carter spoke up as he handed me a glass of grape juice.
“Yeah, that old piece of shit car!” Miranda exclaimed. “Before I came to Illinois, we’d always travel from state to state. Almost every year was a different school.”
“Then why haven’t you moved now?” I asked because she’s been here since sophomore year, and I remember when we became friends she’d tell me how she and her mom always moved.
“We were going to, but then my mom saw I was settling in here nicely and she got a good job, so there was no reason to move again,” Miranda answered.
“Have you guys ever considered buying a new car?” Ethan asked then awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “Not gonna lie, that thing is pretty old.”
“I know, right! Every time I bring up the car, she just finds a way to change the subject. Same thing with my dad, and now this fucking book too!” Miranda complained then leaned her head against Tiffany’s shoulder.
“Just burn the fucking book,” Blake suggested, and I turned to see that he held up his Zippo.
“No!” Miranda said. “There’s something in there, and I wanna know…I did consider burning it at first, but I don’t want to damage whatever is inside it.”
“What about a knife?” Aidan suggested as he ran his fingertips along the edge of the book.
“That could work,” Carter said then picked up the book. He turned the hardcover book over and on its side a few times then stopped. He shook the book and brought it to his ear. My brows rose as I heard a thud whenever he shook it. From the corner of my eye, I noticed everyone else was surprised too as they stared at Carter. “There’s something in here, which means we can’t use the knife; we might damage whatever is inside.”
“What could be in a hardcover baseball guide?” Ethan stared at the book then turned to Miranda. “You said your mom ordered it?”
“That’s what she told me.” Miranda shrugged.
“There is some freaky shit happening,” Aidan said. “Just saying.”
“We won’t give up, though,” Ethan assured Miranda. “I’m curious, too.”
While Aidan, Ethan, Miranda, and Tiffany continued to talk about the mysterious book, Carter offered me to sit down. We sat on the sofa next to Blake, yet he barely noticed us since he had his earphones in.
“So did you tell your sister and mom yet?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Carter mumbled. “I’m thinking of doing it when my sister gets here; she’ll be here soon.”
“That’s good. Hopefully, you can talk things out with your mom too.”
“Yeah, she should accept that her son is leaving her but not in the way that her husband did.”
“She’ll understand, Carter. Don’t worry. She’ll see all the work you’ve been doing and all the books in your room were worth it.”
“Thanks, Lana,” he said then bit his lip. “But I want you there with me. I’m not going to Yale without you.”
I looked down and tried hard not to bite my cheek, yet it was a habit. Carter was smart, handsome, and humorous. I knew he said that to keep my hopes up, but I was waitlisted. Like many other people around the world.
“Yo, Carter!” Aidan said, and I glanced up to see Aidan read off his phone. “Switch to the news channel.”
Even though Aidan was right next to the remote, Carter picked up it up anyway. Whatever was on the news must’ve excited him so much that he stood and stared at the flat screen.
“Quick!”
“Calm your tits, bro,” Carter said, and Miranda, Tiffany, and I groaned. “Sorry.”
“Hey,” Blake said beside me. I turned to him as my smile faded.
“Hi.”
“How are you?” he asked then took out his earphones and put them in his pocket.
“I’m all right.”
“That’s good.” He nodded. “We’re graduating in a few days…”
“Yeah.”
“It’s been a wild senior year, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. Suddenly, his gaze dropped as he took in my appearance. I wore contacts today yet had the urge to push my glasses up if they were there—just to do anything to get out of the awkward conversation.
“Did you forgive Levi?”
“No, I—I don’t know,” I answered then looked at him. It was odd that Blake and Levi were similar in appearance; they both had nose rings, yet they took them out often, tattoos, same style, muscular build, cigarettes galore, and dark vehicles. Levi was probably an inch taller than Blake, yet I couldn’t tell unless they stood next to each other. Somehow their personalities were different; some qualities were similar yet…so different. It was unexplainable. “Why’d you ask?”
“You’re wearing his shirt,” Blake replied. I looked down to see that I was for a fact wearing Levi’s Nirvana tee. He gave it to me before he “supposedly” left to go back to California. It was big on me, but I wore it with denim shorts and white and black Vans.
“I just grabbed the first thing I saw.”
“There!” Aidan exclaimed since Carter finally found the news channel. Our attention drew to the television, which reported missing people. It was a weekly report yet today seemed serious. My eyes widened as I saw the familiar passport photo of the luscious hair and dark eyes with his lips drawn into a straight line.
“Marcus Sanders, a young twenty-year-old male, has been reported missing since the 17th of May. The young man was last seen at a gas station getting into an unknown vehicle. He attended Jefferson High and lied about his age. Police report that Marcus could be in serious trouble that he might have caused earlier in the year with the abandoned cottage on Route 28, and he’s a suspect in an investigation involving this man.” The woman reporter then showed a photograph of Christo Aimar. “Detective Kale has reported that Marcus’s fingerprints were on a piece of evidence, and due to his disappearance, Detective Kale is skeptical.” She relayed information on what to do if we saw him.
“He was twenty years old?” Miranda yelled.
“If Detective Kale is suspicious, he’s probably going to question you sooner or later, Miranda,” Tiffany said.
“Yeah, I know,” Miranda mumbled then looked at the TV. “Aww, poor Ellie. He was such an amazing big brother. What happened?”
No one knew the answer to that one, yet I kept my theory quiet about Marcus and James.
“Aidan, how’d you know to check the news?” Blake asked.
“Liam texted me,” Aidan replied as he smiled at his phone.
“Damn, what if Marcus was kidnapped or something? The last place he was seen was at a sketchy gas station,” Ethan added.
“Whatever happened to him, I don’t care. If the police question me, I’ll be honest because I have nothing to hide,” Miranda stated then placed her hands on the book. “Now, let’s see if we can get this thing open.”
***
Levi
To work at the tattoo parlor with Isaac wasn’t the most fantastic job in the world, but at least it brought in money. I paid my bills and still saved for online classes and got things going. I wanted to prove to my parents that I could be independent, that what happened in California wouldn’t ruin the rest of my life. One thing about working in the
downtown was that Keene and I’d come back to the apartment and be too lazy to cook, so we’d order takeout or show up at either Roxanne’s, Uncle Griff’s, or Angie’s house before they had dinner. Keene and I grinned when we’d enter and get the smell of a home-cooked meal. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to cook. Keene got annoyed since I left the kitchen in such a mess, so he cooked when he could. Tonight, it was my turn to pick a place to eat since Keene chose Subway last night.
“Do we come here just so that you can look at the waitresses?” he asked as we got out of my car.
“No.” I scrunched my nose up. “They have good milkshakes plus the best of Chuck Berry.”
“This is one of those moments when I’m glad that your dad and Griffon played their records for us, so I know who the heck Chuck Berry is,” Keene stated as we walked across the street to the diner.
“Yeah, speaking of my dad, they’re coming in a few weeks.”
“That early?”
“Yeah, they’ll obviously stay with Bobby and Angie, but they’re bound to check up on me, like, see where I live and shit.”
“That’s why you have me, dude; we’ll treat the Radcliffs like royalty,” he said then bumped my shoulder against his. I cursed and pressed my palm against him. From the corner of my eye, I saw Keene’s eyes widen. As he was about to approach me, I laughed then playfully pushed him away.
“Asshole.” He waved me off. “I thought I hurt you from your wound.”
“It healed. There’s just a big ugly scar that’ll stay forever.” I shrugged then looked at the ground. It was scary to have an experience like that, stabbed in the shoulder by a fucking rapist. Then again, I was injected with heroin. Then I realized a lot of things had happened ever since I first left princess after the car accident from summer 2015. They say you get addicted to heroin, and the flashback of the syringe, forcibly pressed into my skin, made me want to scream. I badly wanted to call princess, to hear her voice; she was like a guide to make sure I wouldn’t become addicted and lose myself. She couldn’t let me go; she needed me…I needed her. That’s why I’d do anything to keep her. To be in her presence and hopefully live a life with her.
