Matthew looked at his father with alarm. “It’s not like that,” he said. “I don’t want you to feel that way. I want us to all feel like the hotel is a safe place where we can relax.”
“You mean you want Kathleen to feel like the hotel is a safe place,” David said.
Matthew bit his lip. He didn’t want to admit to that. Doing so felt like a sort of betrayal. Why did it always feel like he had to choose between his wife and his father these days?
“She’s the one that doesn’t feel safe,” David reiterated. “She’s been different. I know you see it, just like me and your mother see it. The kids sense it. She’s been short-tempered with all of us.”
“And paranoid,” Matthew admitted. Saying it out loud filled him with relief and also unease. “She’s convinced someone has been watching the property. She acts as if an invading army is on the way. I’ve looked, but I don’t see any signs of someone out there like she says.”
David’s face darkened with worry. “Do you think she’s imagining it?” he asked gently.
Matthew ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t think so. I hope not. I trust her…but I just can’t find any reason why she would insist that someone is out there. This obsession has been going on for days.”
“Allison has changed too,” David said. “She’s sleeping more and barely talks. Eating cereal is the least of our concerns, but it’s still a concern. She’s not acting like she used to.”
“I thought it was just her being a teenager,” Matthew said softly.
“Something must have happened to them,” David said. “Don’t you think so?”
“Neither of them will talk to me,” Matthew said. He began to pace the porch. “I can’t force them to speak about it.”
“Ruth tried to encourage Allison to open up,” David said, “but she clammed up. Kathleen is the same way, then?”
Matthew nodded. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost my wife. I just wish they’d confide in me. It’s affecting them both so much.”
David looked relieved, as if he had been anticipating fighting to make Matthew see what was going on. “I know,” he said and patted Matthew’s arm in sympathy. “But you know we can’t continue like this. I want Kathleen and Allison to feel safe here too, but we can’t force that. If we keep rushing at a breakneck speed, we’ll begin making mistakes and wasting what little resources we do have. I didn’t tell you this, but yesterday Patton nearly broke the gimlet we found in the cellar. He was desperate to figure out how to work it. He got frustrated and nearly used it the wrong way. He could’ve injured himself and broken the tool.”
Matthew pursed his lips together. “You should’ve told me, Dad.”
“I know,” David said. “We all need to be more open with each other. Ruth and I had noticed Allison’s unhealthy eating habits, but we decided it was better to keep quiet. They’re your children, after all, and we didn’t want to step on your toes. That was a mistake. We are all part of one family, not separate entities, and we need to watch out for each other. We should’ve said something. Maybe then, we could have avoided this whole thing.”
Matthew sensed something lingering behind David’s words. “Has she overeaten her share of food?” he asked, knowing their food supply was something that needed to be regulated.
David shrugged, but Matthew knew what that really meant.
“How low on food are we, now?” Matthew demanded.
“It’s not just the dwindling food supply,” David finally said. “We have to ensure everyone is getting the required nutrients. If we start suffering the consequences of that, we’ll be in big trouble. Yes, Allison ate more than her fair share, but we’ll just take this as an opportunity to address it.”
“We need to figure out a long-term system,” Matthew said with a sigh. “Something has to be done about the food.”
“It’s not like it used to be,” David said, his blue eyes staring off into the distance. “We can’t just eat on a whim and hope to run to the grocery for more. There is no more.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Matthew said, but even he heard the disillusionment in his tone.
“And what about Kathleen?”
Matthew paused. He wished he could take whatever burden his wife and daughter carried and make it his own. If he pressed either of them to open up, he feared it would lead to them distrusting him more. There were a hundred little fires that seemed to pop up around him and every time he thought he’d put them out, he turned around to see that they’d multiplied. Kathleen was one such fire. Allison another. The issues kept growing until he found himself standing in a raging inferno even he couldn’t understand.
“I’ll figure it out,” Matthew repeated, even as he refused to look at David. “I promise.”
12
Only when the last traces of the sun disappeared behind the mountain vista did Matthew call for another Riley family meeting.
As everyone gathered in the lounge area, he had a distinct sense of déjà vu. This time, though, Allison sat propped on the sofa next to Kathleen and leaned her head against her mother’s shoulder. Kathleen seemed to cradle Allison as though she were a delicate flower at risk of wilting. She must have heard about the fainting incident from Ruth.
Patton swayed back and forth with exhaustion from his seat on the floor. Jade sat in a chair, her face and hair coated with a layer of dirt that made her hair looked gray. Even David looked somewhat haggard, even though Matthew knew he’d been taking pains to protect his health and heart for once. Everyone looked completely worn out. Matthew had to admit that his father was right. He was pushing his family to their breaking point.
And the exhaustion extended to him as well. He could feel it in his bones, and not just because of the physical labor. Ruth had rationed their food, keeping their protein and calorie count carefully regulated as much as she could, but soon, they’d be running low on everything they had. Additionally, now that Allison had devoured a good portion of their cereal stocks, they needed to take into consideration nutrients, and not just whether their bellies were full. Eating crap food staved off the hunger, but it didn’t do much to keep them healthy.
He crossed his arms loosely and began to speak. “There was an incident today that you’re all probably aware of, but I’d like to address it all the same.” He gave Allison a comforting smile. “Allison fainted today. She hasn’t been eating right, and that, paired with all the strenuous physical work and the hot weather, finally got to her.”
He paused, waiting to see if anyone had anything to say. He steadied himself. He didn’t want to admit to this next part, but he knew that he wasn’t a saint. He had made mistakes and would recognize and rectify them. “It’s also no secret that I’ve been pushing everyone extra hard to help make the hotel a safe haven. Yet, in wanting to build that safety, I may have jeopardized your health. I’m sorry for that. For pushing all of you the way I did.”
“It’s all right,” Jade said with a weary smile.
Matthew felt his own smile freeze on his face, and he refused to look at her. Sometimes it seemed as if he just pretended Jade wasn’t there, he wouldn’t have to deal with all the emotions she brought up in him. All the doubt and, yes, even fear. “What do our rations look like, Mom?” he asked, directing his attention to his mother.
Ruth sat primly on the loveseat with David. Matthew inwardly started to relax, remembering when he was a child the way he would head to Ruth’s office after school, where she would make phone calls and schedules and lists for her employers. She had that same look.
“It’s not great,” Ruth admitted. “We’ve all done a fine job of stretching everything for as long as we have, but to be honest with you all, we only have a week left at most. Most of what’s left isn’t healthy at all. It would be more for sustenance than anything else.”
“But we planted those seeds,” Kathleen protested, looking scared. “Won’t those do anything for us?”
Allison raised her head at Kathleen’s tone. Her face darke
ned. Once again, Matthew wished he understood why Allison would give Kathleen such a look.
“They will,” Ruth said, “but it will take months for anything to grow. And that’s assuming the seeds take root and sprout. Some might grow faster than others, but it would be a miracle if we saw a little green growth in two weeks. These things take time. They don’t germinate overnight.” Ruth spread her hands as if helpless.
David nodded as though to back her up. “Plus, we’ve most likely started late in the season. Usually, it would take a year to start things up, anticipate failures, and keep shifting our strategy using trial and error. We don’t know if those seeds should’ve been planted in early spring or late summer for an autumnal harvest. Cultivating crops is a long-term plan. It’s a good plan, please don’t misunderstand me, but it doesn’t solve our immediate problem.”
Kathleen looked frustrated. Allison sat up further, seeming to pull away from her mother, and gave her another odd look. Even Matthew could see Kathleen’s distress. Was Allison reacting to that?
“We did read through the books in the library,” Ruth said. “Perhaps we can use them as a guide to help us identify native edible plants that are growing on the property now.”
“That will definitely help with nutrients,” David said, “but it still won’t provide the calories or protein we need.”
“Cannibalism it is,” Patton joked.
“Patton.” Ruth tsked at him. “Is that kind of talk necessary?”
Patton shrugged and looked away, properly chastised.
Matthew began to feel like finding food was a much more urgent need than he’d anticipated. “What about hunting?” he asked.
“That’s true,” David mused. “I’ve seen deer in the woods. Once I even spotted a wild turkey. We could even try to catch some squirrels.”
“Like real mountain men,” Patton said with a yawn. “Squirrel stew.”
“Any chance your classmate taught you how to make a squirrel trap at school?” Ruth asked Patton with a wink. Patton rolled his eyes and hissed out, “Grandma.”
“That might be what we have to do,” David said and looked to Matthew as though sharing a secret. “I’m not a great hunter, Matt. I barely managed at it when I was young. I never taught you how to hunt or shoot.”
Matthew ran his hands through his hair. He was sure his blond locks were standing straight up. “So it sounds like our only option is going back down the mountain and into Galena. Scavenging and raiding.”
Everyone suddenly looked uneasy. Matthew’s suggestion hung in the air like an unpleasant smell. Matthew cleared his throat and felt a knot in his belly. “I don’t like it either,” he said, “but it sounds like the best thing we could do. We could raid the grocery store. Maybe check out a couple of gas stations. Anything is better than starving.”
Jade cleared her throat. It sounded loud to Matthew. “Would you like me to give you a shooting lesson, instead?” she asked.
Matthew couldn’t help but turn and stare at her as if she’d just suggested something more heinous. “I beg your pardon?” he asked.
Jade shifted uneasily in her chair and looked at each of the Riley members in turn. “It’s just…if you know how to shoot then you can go hunting. There’s a better chance you’ll hit something if you’ve had practice and can master the basics.”
“We can’t waste the bullets,” Matthew said. He knew Jade had a point, but at the same time he couldn’t bring himself to trust her. Each time she suggested something, he logically understood it, but his gut roiled with doubt.
“I’m not sure you have much of a choice at this point,” Jade said. “How sustainable is raiding stores, anyway? At some point, if this EMP continues, there won’t be anything left to raid. If you know how to shoot, you’ll be able to go out hunting in the winter, when plants are definitely not growing. I guarantee you, if you go out hunting without knowing how to shoot, you’ll be wasting the same number of bullets you would in practice, if not more.”
“We wouldn’t shoot everything we saw,” Matthew said hotly, hating that Jade painted him in such an ignorant light.
“How would you know?” Jade said, her voice teasing and yet mocking at the same time. “If you’ve never been?”
Matthew opened his mouth to protest but Jade cut him off again. “Shooting a deer means you have to complete the kill. If you miss it and wound it, you’ll have to track it down. You can’t just leave it to die. That’s what will happen your first time, I promise you. It would be better if you just let me teach you how to aim.”
“Out of the question!” Kathleen shouted and leapt to her feet so that she loomed over Jade. “The day you get to use one of our guns will be over my dead body. You can’t be trusted with a weapon. Especially not after what you did to that man at the gas station. You don’t even seem to show any remorse!”
Jade’s face flushed a dark red. Her eyes narrowed with the same kind of rage Matthew had seen when the clerk had threatened her. “That’s completely unfair,” she said.
“You’d turn on us,” Kathleen said, her voice low and venomous, “and I bet you wouldn’t feel bad about it at all.”
Jade looked affronted. “How dare you?” she said, slowly standing from her chair to face off with Kathleen. “I’m dealing with my issues in my own way. What do you know? You’ve barely taken the time to get to know me. Would you rather see me screaming at everyone and throwing a tantrum, instead? Would that make it look like I was feeling bad for what I did? Perhaps I should hide in my room.” Jade eyed Kathleen up and down as if taking stock of her and not liking what she saw. “Maybe I’ll just pretend to see imagined threats hiding in the woods.”
Kathleen looked as though she’d been slapped.
“I’ve already proved,” Jade continued, “on more than one occasion, that you can trust me. I’m not going to turn a gun on you and shoot you. I may not be weeping openly in front of you, but I can certainly tell you that I’m mourning in my own way. I’m just handling it better than you, and that pisses you off!” Jade said.
Kathleen’s face paled. She stared at Jade as if desperate for words that wouldn’t come.
“You’re the one that hasn’t been sleeping,” Jade said, pointing a finger at Kathleen. “You’re the one who’s been eating just as poorly as Allison. To tell you the truth, I’m surprised you haven’t collapsed. You see everyone as a threat. Now tell me, of the two of us, who is the one who is more dangerous with the gun?”
Kathleen began to shake as though Jade’s words were physical blows. Matthew wished she would open up to him so he could defend her. Even if he was just a sounding board, it would be better for her to get her feelings out instead of keeping them locked up tight until they exploded.
Even so, Matthew knew he had to prove that he was on Kathleen’s side no matter what. He had to back her. They were a team, and he had to show he was trustworthy, through thick and thin. That he would always protect her.
“That’s enough, Jade,” Matthew said, his voice low. “You’re out of line.”
“I’m out of line?” Jade said, shocked.
Matthew took a deep breath and readied himself to justify Kathleen. “Kathleen has been adjusting to you as best as she can. She’s terrified that you might turn on her and hurt us. It’s not her fault that she’s heard what you’ve done and judged you based on that. You made poor decisions. It’s not illogical for us to assume you’ll make poor decisions again.”
Jade’s mouth clapped shut. Her lips pursed into a thin line. Her chin began to wobble, but no tears shone in her eyes. “If that’s what you really think—after everything I’ve done—then there’s no chance of me ever being redeemed.” With that, she stormed out of the room.
Kathleen wrapped her arms around herself and left the room without another word.
I wanted that to have gone better. Matthew rubbed his forehead as a headache raced between his temples. He glanced at David, who looked at him disapprovingly.
“Can you teach us
how to shoot?” he asked his father. He hated that he sounded so desperate, but he didn’t know what else to do. Maybe, if this was the solution to their problem, then it might ease some tension lingering between them with Jade as the rotten cavity at the core of it.
David said in a flat tone, “Unlikely. I was never a great marksman. I’ve gone downhill since. I can consult with you and teach you the basics, but doing long-range shots is hard for me. I don’t have the eyesight or the ability.”
Matthew finally collapsed into Jade’s abandoned chair. He felt completely at a loss.
“Having Jade on our side is a good thing,” Ruth said, sounding unnaturally gentle. “Reconsider, Matthew. Giving her the benefit of the doubt wouldn’t be considered a betrayal of Kathleen. It would actually help us survive if she was on our side. She knows so much more than we do. There’s nothing wrong in admitting we are in over our heads. There’s nothing wrong in asking for help.”
Matthew looked toward the door that Kathleen had left through. He should say that to Kathleen. They faced problems at every turn, but maybe with Jade, things didn’t have to be so difficult. The thought of navigating an argument with her left him feeling more exhausted than he had at the beginning of the conversation. He simply didn’t have the energy. He nodded. “I’ll think about it, but right now I need some air.”
David sighed as if he’d expected Matthew to say something else. Matthew ignored him and stood, heading outside and seeing nothing but the last moments of dusk coating the sky in a purple twilight. He meandered toward the perimeter of the hotel grounds in a daze. Since he spent most of his time out here anyway, it made sense that he should try to find some kind of peace out here too.
As he walked the perimeter, he studied the ground. He grimaced when he walked through some drying mud, and then came to a halt.
There. In the middle of a patch of mud softened with scat he saw a footprint. Not an animal print, but a boot print. The tread had been worn on one side, but it was clear that someone had been standing there facing the hotel. He cursed. How had he not seen this before?
EMP Catastrophe | Book 2 | Erupting Danger Page 10
