by L. P. Maxa
I didn’t know what else to say, so I sat there next to Ems with my hand on our growing baby long after she’d fallen asleep. She was so beautiful, so damn angelic. I’d been drawn to her the first moment I’d laid eyes on her. I’d been infatuated with her purity, her grace. She was everything I wasn’t, and I’d wanted a piece of her for myself.
I’d gotten a little more than I’d bargained for.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Emmie
I’d been avoiding my whole family for two days now. They knew Kase was in town and they all wanted to know why. They were constantly texting, dropping by to check on me. Luckily, our parents were all still in Florida, and they weren’t around to witness the over-the-top hovering that was taking place.
I hadn’t seen Kase since I fell asleep with his hand on my stomach. I told him I had homework to catch up on, but really, I’d been hiding. He wanted to be part of this kid’s life, and that meant he was always going to be part of my life too. It was noble, and I was proud of him. But I was also terrified for myself.
Kasen Cadence was handsome and funny. He was sexy, and he turned me on without even trying. He was my first, and he was the father of the baby taking over my body. Every time I saw him, I was overcome with emotions. Anger at the situation we were in, desire for his hands on my body, and longing for his heart to belong to me. And that was probably part of the reason I never wanted to tell him I was pregnant. The more he was around, the more he had the power to destroy me.
I needed to get it together. I needed to stick to our agreement. We were friends and co-parents. There was no room between us for more. I’d only end up hurt when everything was said and done.
I rolled over, wiping my eyes from the tears that seemed to flow nonstop when I was alone, and grabbed my cell out of its charger. Speaking of my baby daddy, I needed to talk to him. Brody had cornered me today, refusing to leave my house until I agreed to his terms.
Emmie: I stopped training today, I told them I was sick and couldn’t make it in.
Kasen: How long you think we got?
Emmie: I don’t know, two days? Max.
Kasen: Okay. Well, tell our kid stories about my bravery.
I was almost positive that my dad wouldn’t kill him. Although I couldn’t even wrap my mind around how disappointed he was going to be. How heartbroken. I’d never let them down before, and this was a hell of a first offense.
Emmie: Brody and Landry invited us to dinner tonight.
Kasen: Us? Like you and the baby? Or us like you and me?
Emmie: You and me. I think Brody is playing peacemaker.
Kasen: Do they not know we already made peace?
Emmie: No. I’ve avoided all my cousins since you’ve been in town. They ask too many questions and I haven’t had the energy to deal with them.
I left out that I’d been avoiding him too. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed. He probably didn’t think of me nonstop the way I seemed to think about him these days.
Kasen: Then let’s go to dinner with Brody and Landry.
Emmie: You sure?
Kasen: When I leave here in a week, I want to make sure that no one is calling me an asshole behind my back.
Emmie: To be fair, they call you an asshole to your face too.
Kasen: When do those pregnancy hormones kick in? The ones that make you all sweet to the man who gave you the baby?
I couldn’t be sweet to the man who gave me the baby. It was called self-preservation and I was clinging to it like a life raft after a plane crash in the middle of the Atlantic.
Emmie: Those aren’t a thing when your one-night stand knocks you up.
There. Distantly sarcastic.
Kasen. Hm. Too bad.
Emmie: I do appreciate what you’re doing though, helping me with my family. And you’re right. We need to let them know that you’re the baby’s father and that you aren’t going anywhere any time soon.
Kasen: Ever. I’m not going anywhere ever. I’ll be its dad, always. Teething, scraped knees, broken hearts, all of it.
Emmie: When you’re not in Italy or Bali.
Kasen: You gotta bust my balls every time I attempt to be heartfelt and nice?
Emmie: I keep my expectations low so I don’t get let down.
I don’t get my heart shattered.
Kasen: That seems awfully sad.
Emmie: But smart.
Kasen: I’ll come pick you up in a bit.
Emmie: Sure.
I got out of bed, heading to my closet and flipping on the light. It was a chandelier and it was so elegant it was almost embarrassing. My mom and sister re-did my room a few years ago, and it was like a department store threw up a bunch of pink bubble gum. It bothered me that this was what they thought I liked, what they thought of me. It was childish and ostentatious. I was neither of those things. I would have preferred clean and vintage.
I moved my clothes along the racks, trying to find the perfect outfit. What did one wear for dinner with the guy who you gave your virginity to? I glanced down at my stomach. It wasn’t board flat like it used to be. Instead it looked like I’d had a big lunch. I could still fit into all my clothes. I didn’t need to choose something that would hide it yet.
I smiled, plucking a thin tan slip dress out of the back of my closet. I wouldn’t be able to wear this in a matter of days, so I might as well dazzle Kase while I could, right? Pretty soon I’d be obviously pregnant. He wouldn’t be able to look at me without seeing our child. It may have been silly that I wanted to remind him that I was still me. That I was still the girl he’d wanted.
Even if it was for only one night.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kasen
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, and that lump was pure fucking lust. I’d pulled up in front of Emmie’s house to find her standing on her front porch. Her hair was down and wild, her lips were like glass, and that dress…holy shit that dress. It was almost sheer, accentuating her every soft curve and angle. Was she trying to kill me?
I got out of the car, opening the door for her as she made her way down her front steps. The wind blew her hair, carrying the delicious scent of her shampoo directly into my brain. I felt dizzy, like it’d been laced with some unheard-of narcotic.
“You look beautiful, Ems.”
I had to tell her, she had to know that she was gorgeous. I’d leave out the fact that she made it difficult to breathe and my dick was so hard it was about to bust out of my jeans.
“Thank you.” Her smile was small, sweet.
I helped her into the car, and then spent the short journey to the driver’s side willing my cock to stand down. She’s not for us. We’ve already been there and fucked up her life.
Ems and I were both quiet on the drive over to Brody and Landry’s. I hated that I didn’t have the right words and that I didn’t know exactly how to talk to her. We’d made our choices, and we were now living in the middle of our new normal. But neither one of us seemed to know exactly how to navigate.
Luckily, once we got inside, Brody and Landry picked up the conversation. Asking Emmie about how she was feeling, about the classes she was taking. Brody wanted to see the drone videos I’d shot on my latest trip overseas. And before I knew it, it was time to eat.
I was sitting next to Ems, and across the table from Brody and Landry. I’d always thought they were an odd pair, but tonight was making me rethink that assessment. They complemented each other in a way that was hard to ignore. Brody was hilarious and over the top, with no filter. Landry was quietly brilliant, and he made her laugh.
“Where are the kids?” Emmie was eating her dinner, one food at a time. I noticed that she always seemed to save her favorite part for last. This time it was the strawberry vinaigrette salad that was still left, which made sense because that was the only part of dinner that contained sugar.
Landry smiled, letting out a content sigh. “They are with Devin and Jett. Isn’t it great? It’s so quiet.” She put her hand to her
ear. “You hear that?” When the rest of us stayed silent, she nodded, her smiling growing. “Exactly. It’s only the four of us and this nice meal, and this delicious wine. No one is screaming. No one is fighting. No one is peeing on the potted tree in the living room.”
Brody pouted out his lower lip. “I kind of miss them. Call Devin and tell her to bring them back.”
“Not a chance.” Landry picked up her glass of wine and took a healthy swallow.
Brody pointed across the table while addressing his wife. “You’re going to scare them.” He looked at us. “It isn’t all bad, you know? They’re great, and we wouldn’t trade those little monsters for anything in this world.”
Landry rolled her eyes. “Em knows how much we love our kids.” She took another big drink of her red wine. “She also knows the chaos that ensues when all three of them are at a dinner table together.”
“Well, then you’re going to scare Kase.” Brody and Landry were talking back and forth like I wasn’t here, listening to every word spoken. “Em is going to need him, and he’ll regret walking away. So keep the our kids are terrors stuff to a minimum.”
“Uh, you’re not going to scare me away.” I’d seen those three little blond-haired surfer spawn, and when they were together, they were a force to be reckoned with. But Ems and I weren’t having three kids. We were having one. And we could handle one. Right? I put my arm along the back of Emmie’s chair, rubbing my thumb along her enticingly bare shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Emmie wiped her mouth in that small, polite way she had about her, and put her napkin back in her lap. Which drew my eyes to the fact that her dress was short, and most of her perfect thighs were exposed. Fuck. Now I had a semi at the damn dinner table. “Kase and I are going to raise this baby together.”
Brody and Landry didn’t say a word, but their eyes grew a bit rounder.
“Yeah, I want to be in the baby’s life.” I kept rubbing her shoulder, unable to stop touching her smooth skin. “We’ll co-parent as friends.”
“No shit?” Brody finally found his voice.
I nodded. “No shit.”
“Good for you, bro.” He held his hand out over the table for a high five. I’d take it. That was at least one other person in my kid’s life who was happy I was sticking around. “You tell your parents yet?”
Ems cleared her throat, and I went from rubbing her shoulder to squeezing it. We were two adults about to have a baby. But when it came to telling our parents, we were reduced to two teenagers unsure of our every step. “We’re telling mine this week.”
There was a constant pit in my stomach. The thought of admitting out loud to Smith James that I got his youngest daughter pregnant made me almost physically ill. But I did the, uh, crime? So I’d pay the time. Was that even the right analogy? Probably not.
“Do you want us to be there?” Landry had finished her first glass of wine and was pouring herself a second. “We can come over, all of us.”
“I think we can handle it.” I did not want an audience for that conversation. And why the hell would a room full of extra people be helpful? “Thanks for the offer though.”
Landry’s eyes narrowed and Brody’s smile grew. “I wasn’t offering it to you, I was offering it to Em. If she wants us there, then we’ll be there. That’s how this family works, not that you would know.”
Us against the world. Who didn’t know this family’s decree by this point? But right now, I was Emmie’s person. We were the ones having the baby, we were the ones who needed to man up and tell our parents. We couldn’t keep hiding behind our siblings, and behind our fears.
“I think our kid needs its parents to have big enough balls to announce its existence without a backup crew.”
Brody clapped his hands, once, loudly. “Yes.” He pointed at me, grinning. “That’s exactly right, bro. We’ve all announced our shit in this ridiculous way, across the table at family dinners. It’s always dramatic and everyone’s fucking opinions get thrown in the mix. It’s unnecessary chaos.”
I wholeheartedly agreed. But Ems was sitting silent and stiff beside me, and Landry looked like she wanted to stick a knife through her husband and into me.
“Ems? Do you want them there?” It was her life too. If she wanted to be surrounded by her cousins, then I’d deal with it. What I couldn’t handle was her staying quiet, afraid to voice her opinions. That wasn’t how things were going to work between us.
She shook her head. “No.” Her hand found mine under the table. “We can do it, together.”
My chest swelled with pride. She trusted me to be there for her, she gathered strength from us. And that mattered, a lot. I pulled her closer. We were a team. We were going to be a team for the next eighteen years. It wasn’t us against the world. It was us there for our kid from day one. I kissed the side of her head, allowing myself one small moment to breathe in her scent. Suck it everyone who doubted me, who doubted Ems. The fuck-boy and the ballerina, figuring their shit out.
“You two boning?”
“Seriously, Brody?” Ems sat up straighter, tossing a broccoli stalk across the table. He caught it before it could hit him in the chest, and he popped it into his mouth, smiling.
He chewed, talking around his food. “He’s been looking at you like he wants to eat you for dessert. You’re wearing a sexy-ass slip of a dress. And you two have announced that you’re raising this baby together and formed your own little team. What else am I supposed to think?” I opened my mouth to defend us both, but he cut me off before I had a chance. “I know what it’s like to be completely turned on by the chick carrying your kid.” He gestured with his thumb to Landry, like we wouldn’t know who he was referring to otherwise. “I get it. It’s hot.”
He wasn’t wrong. There was something about knowing Ems was carrying my baby that made her hot level go from smoking to fucking on fire. I tried to ignore it as much as possible because it made me feel like a caveman.
“I’m wearing this dress because I won’t be able to in a matter of days.” Ems leaned back in her chair, her palms going to her stomach. “This is only going to get bigger. And then I won’t be dessert. I’ll never be dessert ever again. It’s not hot.”
The table went silent. Brody looked terrified.
I had to bite my lips together to keep from smiling at her adorable outburst. “Ems, is that what you honestly think?”
She sighed, her eyes trained on her lap.
I lifted her chin with my finger, forcing her to meet my gaze. “You are gorgeous, and you will always look like dessert, Ems.” I smiled, cupping her cheek. “And the pregnancy thing? It’s hot. I swear I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. It’s stupid hot.”
I might not be able to act on any of it, but I didn’t want her to think otherwise. I’d remind her how beautiful she was every day if that was what it took for her to believe it.
“You sure you two aren’t boning?”
This time Landry popped him on the back of the head.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Emmie
Dinner at Landry and Brody’s house was last night. And I’d been thinking about Kase’s hands on me ever since. The words he’d spoken, the compliments he’d given me. But more than that, I thought about how he made me feel. He made me feel like I could do anything, like I could own my life without anyone’s help. He made me feel capable and beautiful, and I was so grateful.
So far, Kase had kept his word. He was there for me, and he was there for the baby. He wanted to be part of this, and he wasn’t going anywhere.
“Emmie, can you come in here, baby girl?”
And now, he was really going to be put to the test. I knew that tone, even from down the long hallway that separated my room from where my parents were hanging out in the den. It was that concerned yet slightly suspicious tone that I’d heard my aunts and uncles use with my cousins.
“Yeah, give me just a sec.” I closed the textbook I’d been reading, quickly typing out a m
essage to Kase.
Emmie: It’s go time.
Kasen: Holy shit.
Emmie: You backing out?
Kasen: Nope. Never. I’m on my way.
Knowing that Kase was coming gave me the strength I needed to climb off my bed and head toward the firing squad. This was it. This was the moment I let my parents down, by letting them in. I made a detour to the kitchen, buying time by getting myself a drink of water.
“Emmie? Are you coming?”
I put my glass in the sink, allowing myself a few deep breaths before leaving the safety of the dark kitchen and walking into the well-lit den.
“Hey, guys, what’s up?”
My parents were sitting side by side on the oversize sectional where we all gathered for family movie nights every Sunday while we were growing up.
“Well, baby, I got a call from Master Degas this afternoon.” My mom took off her glasses and sat them and the magazine she’d been reading on the coffee table. “She asked if you were okay. Said you hadn’t been to rehearsal in a few days.” There was concern in her tone and in her eyes.
“Sweetheart, is everything okay? Are you sick? Hurt? Did something happen?” My dad was perched next to my mom, a worried united front ready to tackle any problem together and head on.
Would Kase and I have that? We’d have to schedule big talks like this with our kid. I’d have to call him and hope that he had cell service, then wait for him to fly home. Whatever, we’d make it work. And hopefully, our kid would never have to sit us down and tell us about an unplanned pregnancy.
“Um, actually, yes, something did happen but—”
“Hold on, baby, I think someone’s knocking. Do y’all hear that?” My heart dropped to my stomach when my dad got off the couch to answer door. “Kase? Hey, bud, what are you doing here?”
“I’m here for Emmie.”
I could hear them getting closer and closer to the living room with every step. I was shifting on my feet and trying not to vomit all over the priceless handspun Turkish rug.
