“I also have great friends in Augusta and Ned. While you were talking with your lawyer, I called them to ask if they’d keep an eye on my place. They agreed—assuming I’d watch their place while they’re on their Christmas anniversary cruise.”
“I can’t imagine them on a cruise.”
“Same.”
Their shared smile at the mental images of Augusta and Ned’s Western-themed cruise wear brought the night much-needed levity.
Laredo parked in front of the office and was thrilled to see Sarah wasn’t on duty.
A red minivan pulled in next to him.
The driver smiled and waved.
Laredo managed a sort of friendly nod. “Sit tight. I’ll grab a couple rooms and be right out.”
“Laredo?”
“Yeah?”
“Just get one. I can’t be alone.”
“Understood.”
Ten minutes later, Laredo had unlocked the door to room #12, then carried in the overnight bags. He checked the tarp covering Lark’s things in the pickup’s bed. And then he’d run out of tasks to keep him from facing Robin’s tearstained hollow expression.
When he shut the room’s door, he found her seated at the edge of the bed. The only light glowed from a lamp on the nightstand beside the king-size bed.
“How are you?” he asked. “Hungry? If so, the bar a few doors down makes great burgers. It’s a well-lit short walk. I can grab a couple to go.”
“I couldn’t eat.”
“You need to keep up your strength.”
“Too late. It’s already gone.”
“Babe...” He sighed. “I won’t insult you by trying to play off what you just went through as anything beyond what it was—a nightmare. But you will get Lark back. Soon.”
She nodded. “Thanks again—for everything. I don’t know how I could have handled this without knowing I have at least one friend.”
“You’ve already charmed half of Dandelion Gulch. Pretty sure you’re good in a crowd wherever you go.”
“Stop trying to make me feel better.” She bowed her head. “At the moment, I’m not feeling good at anything. My marriage was a disaster. My child was just taken. I can’t even manage to get new tires for my car.” In the room’s dim light, her silent tears ran like liquid silver down her pale cheeks.
“Hey...” He joined her on the bed for an awkward sideways hug. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
She nodded before resting her head on his shoulder. They sat that way for a few minutes connected in the physical sense, but he also warred with a far deeper sensation of having known her a lifetime. How could it have only been days? How could he feel the knifelike cut of also having lost little Lark?
He took her loss as personally as if she was his. Crazy. But there it was. As undeniable as it was unexpected.
Robin straightened, meeting his gaze with her tear-filled brown eyes. She looked sad. Defeated. He wanted to cup his hands to her cheeks, to kiss her forehead and cheeks and the tip of her button nose.
He leaned closer.
His breath caught in his throat.
His heart beat faster than when charging into enemy fire.
When he raised his right hand to cup her cheek, she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes with a barely perceptible sigh.
Had she ever been with a real man as opposed to a monster? The sort of man who would put her needs ahead of his own and always ensure she knew she was protected and happy and adored?
He leaned closer and closer, bridging the distance between them until her exhalations became his breaths. “I want to kiss you. Would that be all right?”
Eyes wide and luminous, pupils dilated, she nodded. “I need to feel something besides this crushing pain.”
It had never before occurred to him to ask a woman for permission for a simple kiss, yet Robin wasn’t just any woman. For what she’d survived, she deserved the extraordinary—far more than he had to give.
Summoning his every shred of strength, he inched away, swallowing the dusty rock scratching the back of his aching throat.
“W-what’s wrong?” Gaze still full and teary, her brows furrowed in concern.
“Nothing.” He half laughed. “Everything.”
The weight of her stare was palpable, yet he couldn’t bring himself to look up.
“I’m going down the road for burgers. What do you like on yours?” He stood to make his way for the door.
“Really?”
“Ketchup? Mayo? Onions? Pickles?” He knew exactly what her question meant. He was just too big of a coward to admit he wasn’t enough for her—could never be enough.
“Talk to me. What was that?”
“Mustard? Tomato? Mel—the bar owner—grows his own beefsteaks on the back patio. Slices ’em thick. Delicious with extra mayo.”
“Please...” More tears thickened her voice with questions he couldn’t begin to answer.
“I’m gonna get everything. What you don’t want, you can scrape off.” Like gum from the bottom of your shoe. That’s what a half-blind man would be to you, Robin. Old dirty gum. Used up. Useless. He opened the door and stepped outside.
“You’re an ass!”
He pulled the door shut behind him.
Whatever she’d thrown at it hit with a thump.
Chapter 13
“You ever planning on talking to me again?”
No. Robin clung to the edge of the motel room bed with her back to Laredo. The glowing red numbers on the nightstand’s alarm clock read 1:03. Instead of sleeping, instead of preparing for the fight of her life, she’d lain there hating Laredo and staring at that damned clock.
“Look, I’m sorry.” His voice barely rose above a whisper. “What happened was a mistake—what almost happened. I—I need you to know I’m here for you. Just not that way.”
Did he not want her? Did he find her unattractive? What kind of horrible mom was she that either question mattered?
Outside, the wind howled, echoing the loneliness in her heart.
“All I wanted,” she said, “was human contact. To be held.”
“I understand. Hell—if all you need is a hug...” He shifted closer, spooning her with his big hand cupping her belly.
“Here you go.”
“Don’t touch me.” She wanted to move his hand, but physically couldn’t when being held against him was the only thing in her cruel world that felt right.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
When he nestled his head into the crook of her neck, his exhale warmed her cheek. “If you did, you wouldn’t let me hold you like this.”
Making my heart pound and lower parts achy with the kind of need I haven’t experienced in years—if ever.
“But it’s not physical. Anyone with a soul would hold you the same.”
“I’m so sick of this. Of you.” Of his circular BS and the way he downplayed his heroism when her daughter could have been killed. Whether he believed it or not, what he’d done in stopping that carjacking was a big deal. As was letting her stay with him till her tires were replaced. Why couldn’t he see the good in himself that she’d seen all along?
Of course, she wasn’t sick of him. Nothing could be further from the truth. But she was done chasing a physical encounter that would do no more to solve her problems than eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” He scooted back to his side of the bed.
Damn her body for missing him on a cellular level.
“But I’m still going with you to get Lark.”
“I don’t need you.” Liar.
There was an endless pause, then, “Did you ever think I might need you?”
If only that was true.
“The thought of going back to my place without yo
u and Lark scares me.” His voice was low enough that his words barely reached her.
“What really keeps you up at night is the night—the actual dark. That fear has nothing to do with me or my child.”
His heavy sigh filled the room’s silence and overrode the still-howling wind.
“In the morning, if you’d please take me to my car, I think it would be best if we say our goodbyes at Jimmy’s.”
“I think you’re right.”
Sometime after the glaring red clock numbers passed 3:00 a.m., Robin finally found sleep. But it came at the price of horrible dreams in which she’d lost both her daughter and the man for whom she’d inexplicably fallen so hard.
* * *
“Guess this is it.” Laredo pulled his truck into Jimmy’s lot, placing it in Park before taking his cowboy hat from the dash to slap it on his head. Through the open garage doors, Robin’s white Focus could be seen up on the hydraulic lift. “I’ll help you unload Lark’s gear.”
“Thanks.”
They hadn’t said more than a few words since waking well after nine. He never slept that late. But the sleep had felt almost as good as waking alongside her. At some point in the night, they must have gravitated toward one another. He blamed it on the saggy mattress—not on the fact that he’d wanted—needed—her close.
After waking, while she’d holed up in the bathroom, he’d made a doughnut and coffee run. It was now pushing eleven—a good thing since the truck delivering her tires had already come and gone.
“Hey!” Sally used her rear to bump open Jimmy’s office door. She carried two yellow watering cans. “Y’all go on to the garage. I’ll just be a sec. If I left it up to Jimmy to water, these poor babies would be dead by the end of the day.” Midway to her first flowerpot, she paused. “Speaking of babies, where’s your sweet little girl?”
Robin opened her mouth to speak, but no words made it past the knot in her throat.
“She’s visiting her grandparents,” Laredo said in a breezy tone. “Wasn’t that nice of them? Giving Mary a well-deserved break?”
“Sure, but I thought you were nursing.” Sally set one watering pot on the concrete walk before starting on the red petunias. “Are you going to pump and dump? That’s what my sister did when her baby boy spent time with our folks.”
Robin nodded, clinging to the truck’s hood to keep her rubbery knees from buckling out from under her. Bless Laredo for not spreading her business around the small town, but she wasn’t like him. She hadn’t been trained in counterintelligence. This lie was too big for her to comfortably hold.
“TMI.” Grinning, Laredo held his hands over his ears. “You ladies excuse me while I talk to Jimmy about something extra manly.” If Robin’s knees hadn’t already been weak, his flirty wink would have done the job. And that smile—filled with white teeth and the kind of good looks that in better times would have melted her heart. Now, her heart was frozen.
It was a relief when he left her to enter the garage.
“He sure is a looker.” Sally fanned herself. “You’re one lucky girl.”
“It’s not like that between us.”
“Then what’s with the smoldering glares? There’s enough heat rising from you two to scorch my flowers.”
“You might need your eyes checked.” Robin managed a smile.
“Nope.” Sally watered her last pot. “As a bride, I’ve read an awful lot of articles on falling in love. You two have undeniable chemistry. It’s cute.”
“I’m sorry I won’t be here—” Robin needed to change the subject “—for your wedding.”
“Wish you’d change your mind and stick around. It’s kind of nice having a new face in town—two if you count Lark.”
How wonderful staying would be. Having the luxury of her own home and friends. She’d briefly had that sort of life with Chuck. It had been a few months before he’d started to change. Or maybe he’d been a monster all along, but she’d been too naive to see the signs?
“All set.” Jimmy saved the day by cutting the awkward conversation when he exited the garage with Laredo.
“Wonderful,” Robin said. “How much do I owe?”
“I already took care of it.” Laredo tipped his cowboy hat.
“Thank you.” She wanted to point out the fact that she didn’t need his help—anyone’s help—but the truth was that she did. Not just financially, but in every other aspect of her messed-up life.
“Let me load Lark’s gear in your trunk, then I guess you can be on your way.”
“Yep...” Just like that? He seemed almost eager to let her go. She wished she felt the same. Instead, her palms sweat and pulse hammered. In some ways, facing Chuck’s parents in this custody battle would be harder than taking any beating he’d delivered. With physical violence, all she’d had to do was close her eyes and pray it would soon end. A court battle could take years of constant emotional turmoil. After all she’d already been through, this new threat seemed too much to bear.
While Laredo and Jimmy loaded Robin’s car, Sally set her watering cans on a bench, then wrapped Robin in a hug.
“It’s been such a pleasure meeting you. Please, don’t let this be a forever goodbye. At the very least, let’s connect on social media.”
“Yes. That sounds good.” Robin pulled away without confessing she didn’t have social media accounts. The concept of never again seeing Sally or Jimmy or Augusta or Ned—most of all, Laredo—was unfathomable.
“She’s all yours.” Jimmy held out her keys. “Gave you an oil change and checked your belts, brakes and hoses. Oh—and a new spare. You and your baby should be good to go for thousands of miles.”
“Thank you.” Robin took her keys before hugging the mechanic.
“No problem. Have a safe trip.”
The wall at the back of her throat only allowed her to nod.
On autopilot, incapable of looking at Laredo without completely losing what little remained of her cool, she climbed into her car’s front seat. The tangible connection to her old life jerked her back to reality. The nightmare would never end. Chuck’s parents would never release their last living link to their son.
Seated behind the wheel with the engine running and her seat belt fastened, Robin lowered the window for a final goodbye. “Thanks again—for everything.”
While she backed the car around to face the highway, Sally and Jimmy wrapped their arms around each other and waved.
Laredo shoved his hands in his pockets. His hat’s brim shadowed his expression.
With one last wave, tears flowing, Robin steered her car onto the highway, driving away from the man and friends she wanted in her future to instead reconnect with her past.
* * *
“What in the name of all that’s holy are you doing?” Sally fisted her hands on her hips. “Are you really going to let her go?”
“Yup.” Laredo headed for his truck. He needed a long ride with Chestnut to clear his head. He feared nothing would ever help the uncomfortable tightening in his chest.
“Stay out of it,” Jimmy said to his soon-to-be wife.
“I will not. Laredo, you might have trouble finding your way in the dark, but we’re standing in broad daylight, meaning you should have no problem seeing that you and Mary share a bond it takes some people a lifetime to find.”
“I offered to go with her—multiple times. She turned me down.”
“To be polite. Or maybe out of pride, but trust me, no woman in her place wants to be alone.”
Laredo narrowed his gaze. “Just what do you know about her situation?”
“Enough to realize she’s in for the fight of her life. Lulu overheard Kyle talking on his cell. You and I both know Mary’s God-given name is Robin. We also know she didn’t willingly hand over her baby girl. Go after her. Now. Make her pull over. Augusta and Ned will look after your place. The
only thing keeping you here is your own bullheaded pride. She needs you. And I suspect you need her.”
“Damn...” Jimmy settled his arm atop Sally’s shoulders. “I’m not only marrying a great cook, but a spy and shrink. All of that was news to me.”
“Sal—” Laredo removed his hat to wipe sweat from his forehead. The day was already turning out to be a hot one. “I know you mean well, but I’d appreciate you staying out of my business—and Robin’s.”
Hat back on his head, Laredo climbed behind the wheel of his truck and started the engine.
Out the open window, Laredo said, “Thanks, Jimmy, for the rush job on those tires.”
“Anytime, man.”
With a backhanded wave, Laredo left the mechanic’s lot.
On the highway, he had five miles to decide whether or not to make the turn for home. Sure, part of him craved once again being a hero. His truck’s powerful eight-cylinder engine could easily outpace Robin’s four-cylinder sedan. But what then?
She’d been clear about not wanting him to join her.
But could Sally be right about Robin not having meant what she’d said? He smacked the steering wheel with the heel of his hand. Why couldn’t women come right out and say what needed to be said? If she’d wanted to kiss him that bad, why couldn’t she have made the first move? Why was he left feeling like the bad guy?
Say he did chase after her, he didn’t know the first thing about fighting the legal system. He was an ex-soldier turned farmer. Where was the heroism to be gained from that? What use was he to her?
All I wanted was human contact. To be held. Her voice rang through his head.
Such a simple request. Didn’t require legal smarts or even his piss-poor night vision. He just had to be there for her. Supporting her physically and emotionally. Simple.
So why did the idea of surrendering himself feel so hard?
* * *
On her way past the truck stop, Robin knew she should top off her tank and say goodbye to Lulu, but she couldn’t handle another goodbye. Losing another piece of her soul.
Home on the Ranch: Colorado Cowboy SEAL Page 13
