She’s pissed and upset, I get that, but she’s still willing to come with me. It gives me hope that I did the right thing telling her what was going on. We need to take care of the Raging Devils so I can get back to focusing on starting my family. I smile at the thought. Family.
Chapter 10
Ivy
I’ve been in bed for over an hour now and my mind won’t shut off. I knew there was something going on with the club but hearing it all scares the shit out of me. The fact that it’s not just the club in danger but Kace is facing the retaliation of what he did to that guy Damon proves my fears are valid. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought the last few days and I know that if I want this to work with him, I need to accept the club. He’s already said it to me. The difficult part is accepting the death that comes with it. It’s easier said than done. I need to talk to Harper and ask her how she handles it all. I need to know how to separate the man that is holding me close right now and the man that has no problem killing someone.
“Sweetheart, stop overthinking everything,” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss below my ear.
“I’m not,” I lie.
He rolls me onto my back and climbs on top of me. His brown eyes are soft as they search mine, looking for the lie I just told. “You’re lying.”
I don’t say anything. I just grin and enjoy the feeling of his muscular bicep beneath my hands. A tear escapes my eye as I think this could be the last time I feel him on top of me.
He reaches up and covers my mouth with his hand. My eyes widen and he leans down kissing my nose. “Relax, take a deep breath in through your nose. Stop overthinking.” He presses his hard cock against me and my eyes flutter closed for a second. “Let go of all the feelings that are suffocating you and let me take control,” he whispers.
He presses his hand harder against my mouth and I feel like I can’t breathe until he reminds me to take deep breaths through my nose. I keep my focus on that and once I relax, he uses his other hand to reach down and pull my panties off. He came to bed naked and I pulled my sleep shirt off a while ago, so we are now both naked. The feeling of his warm, solid, strong body on top of me gives me a sense of security.
He begins teasing my entrance with his rigid dick. My hips move trying to get him inside me where I am suddenly burning with need. “I’m going to fuck you, Ivy. I want you to stop thinking, stop worrying, stop trying to make sense of things. I want your only thought to be of my cock inside your tight pussy. Each thrust bringing you closer to falling over the edge and once you do, let it all go with your orgasm.”
He rubs his dick along my wet pussy, and I moan against his hand. My eyes lock with his and because I’m not able to speak, I simply nod. My body is on fire and he is the only one who can put out the flames. He reaches down between us and rubs my clit causing my back to arch. “God, you are so fucking sexy, sweetheart. Feeling you beneath me, seeing how my simple touch affects you is so hot,” he says, his voice thick with want. In one quick move he slams his thick cock into me, and I scream against his hand. “Let it all go, Ivy. Give it all to me.”
He slowly begins moving, allowing me to adjust to him, but after a few strokes he begins moving fast and hard. My hands find their way to his solid back and my nails sink in. He lets out a primal growl that has my nipples hardening further and my pussy getting wetter. As he pounds into me, he puts even more pressure on the hand he’s got covering my mouth, forcing me to breathe through my nose. It’s erotic and exciting. My hips match his rhythm and we are both moaning with pleasure.
“Look at me,” he demands. His deep, sexy voice wrapping around me. I don’t need to be told twice, I open my eyes and find his brown eyes darker than normal as they collide with mine. “Concentrate on the feeling of my dick buried deep inside you, of my piercing dragging against you, hitting you in all the right places. On our bodies pressed against each other. Your hard nipples rubbing against my bare chest each time I slam into you. Give yourself over to me completely, Ivy,” he groans out.
I want to tell him I am, but I still can’t speak. I do as he asks and focus on the way he makes me feel. He’s pounding into me hard and fast. His piercing is amplifying the feeling a hundred times over. My pussy is dripping wet as I feel the tightening in my stomach, alerting me my orgasm is coming fast. My head is clear as I focus solely on the feelings he is evoking within me. The fast, rough, hard pace is everything I didn’t know I needed.
“I know you’re close, sweetheart. Don’t fucking fight it. I want to feel you come all over me. I need to watch you come undone,” he roughly says.
I nod as my eyes search his. He’s biting his lip where that sexy lip ring is. I trail my fingers from his back around to his chest and I pinch his nipples, pulling on his piercings.
“Fuck,” he hisses as I continue.
It spurs him on, and my head hits the headboard over and over as he fucks me. I can’t hold back much longer; my body is shaking with the need for release. He knows it too because he reaches between us and pinches my clit, hard. I bite his palm and he groans in pleasure. My entire body is shaking as he pulls me to the edge. He pinches my clit again and I lose myself. My orgasm hits me hard and I scream and moan against his hand as he continues to fuck me.
“Let it go, sweetheart,” he whispers.
I can’t fight it, I let it all go. All the worry, the questions, and the uncertainty. My orgasm washes it all away, just as he wanted. He shouts my name as his orgasm rips through him and he finally moves his hand off my mouth so he can kiss me. It’s a frantic, damaging kiss and I can’t get enough. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back just as hard.
We finally break the kiss, and he drops next to me, pulling me against his chest. We take a few minutes to recover from the much needed orgasms before he kisses the top of my head.
“I’ll never let anything happen to you, the baby, or myself. Believe me. I will keep us all safe,” he says, holding me tighter.
In this moment, I do believe him, and I stop questioning it all.
“I’ll follow you over. I made a doctor’s appointment and I’ll need my car,” I say, finishing up my eggs.
He plays with that lip ring and squeezes the back of his neck. “I’ll take you to the appointment.”
It’s sweet and kinda possessive which I happen to find extremely hot, but he’s got other things to worry about right now. I know if I let myself get excited that he’ll be there that something will happen that will keep him away. It’s better to expect the worst. “Let’s see what happens with the club. You might be needed there more,” I say.
“You and the baby are my top priority. If I say I’ll be there, I’ll be there,” he hisses. His eyes are dark with anger or maybe hurt, I’m not sure which.
I lean over and press a soft kiss to his lips. “Okay.”
There’s no point in giving him something else to worry about. I might not know this club world all that well, but one thing I do know is I saw Harper’s disappointment time and time again. I’m not a stupid girl and I know better than to count on anyone. I’ve been living on my own for longer than I care to admit. After my parents died, I had no choice. I didn’t handle losing them very well. I slept around a lot, I got mixed up in some shitty relationships because I wanted to replace the love I lost. I think it’s what scares me about all this with Kace. The fear of losing him like I lost my parents is a real possibility.
“I’ll put the bags in your car, and we can head over to Souls after I have a quick smoke,” Kace says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I nod and wash the breakfast dishes quickly. Kace wasn’t kidding when he said this house needed improvement. It’s obviously been ignored over the years. He never talks about his family or at least he’s never mentioned them to me. I get it because I don’t talk about mine either, but if we are going to be in a relationship, I think it’s time we got to know more about each other. I know it’s not the best time, but is there ever a good time?
“What are you in
such deep thought about?” he asks as he strides into the kitchen.
I grin at him as I finish drying the last plate. “Thinking about how we don’t know much about each other and I’d like to know everything.”
He runs his hands through his hair as he nods. “We know a little. I know you’ve never really been in love and I know where to touch you to make you scream my name.” He lifts an eyebrow, giving me a lopsided grin. “What else is there?”
I rest my hands on his massive chest and bite my lip. “I don’t know anything about your family.”
I feel him go rigid under my hands and his playful eyes harden. “Nothing to tell, both my parents are dead.”
“I know that pain, I’m so sorry,” I say, truly meaning it. I had a feeling they both died but now I wonder how much of that was due to the club. I don’t know if his father was a member, but I’m guessing he was.
“Nothing to be sorry for.”
He still has his arms around me, but they aren’t as tight as they were, and I miss the protective feeling it gives me. But being the person I am, I can’t let it go. “Are you an only child or do you have siblings?”
This causes him to give me that sexy lopsided grin of his. “I’m an only child. What about you?”
“Same. I always wanted a sister though. Do you mind me asking what happened to your parents?” I ask.
He kisses my lips quickly and pulls away, giving me his back as he collects his belongings off the counter. “That’s a story for another time. Come on, we need to head to Souls before it gets any later.”
My curiosity is now peaked. It must be very painful for him to talk about. He did tell me he has trust issues because everyone always leaves him. Maybe it started from losing his parents. I bite my lip as I look at the muscles flexing in his back as he moves around. It’s a turn on but not what is causing me to bite my lip. The honesty I’m about to spill does. I can’t expect him to talk to me about things if I’m not, so I’ll start the conversation.
I clear my throat, causing him to turn around. “My parents died in a car accident. It was quick and they both died at the scene. I was seventeen and it fucked me up. I went through some bad periods after that.”
He takes one step closer and crosses his art filled arms. “What kind of bad periods?” His face is serious, his lips in a thin line, and his eyes are hard. He’s expecting exactly what I’m going to say.
I swallow a few times since my throat is suddenly dry as the desert. “Sleeping around a lot. Staying in shitty relationships. Shit like that,” I say.
His eyes roam over my entire body and it ignites a flame that I will need him to put out. When his eyes crash into mine, I can see the concern in them. “Why were the relationships shitty?”
I close my eyes briefly trying to decide what to tell him. “When we talk about your parents, we’ll talk about that.”
I’m proud of myself for the quick thinking. He won’t like it, but I’ll give when he gives. This can’t be a one-way street. I know from experience that never works.
He tilts his head slightly and nods. “They killed themselves, you’re turn.”
My eyes widen as I take in his words. That is not what I expected at all. I have even more questions now, but I’ll take that for now.
“The relationships were mentally abusive, sometimes physical. A lot of fighting, anger, and giving too much of myself without getting anything in return,” I admit, glancing down to the dirty floor. I don’t like talking about it. I’d rather just move on and let that be in the past.
“I want names,” Kace growls.
I snap my head up to look at him and he looks enraged. It’s sweet but makes me want to laugh. I bite my lip hard as I step closer to him. “Why? What are you going to do with their names?”
“Kill them,” he says with complete seriousness.
I can’t hold back the laugh this time. I start laughing hysterically, I can’t help it. I shake my head as I talk around my laughter. “You can’t kill everyone who’s ever mistreated me, Kace. You’ll be killing a lot of people. It’s sweet and kinda fucked up, but not worth it.”
“I don’t think it’s funny that a man has had his hands on you in any way that can hurt you. I see no humor in this situation,” he hisses.
I wrap my arms around his waist and smile up at him. “You don’t think it’s a little funny that you said you want to kill them all?”
“You think I’m kidding?”
I laugh again, shaking my head. “Kace, you need to find the humor in life. It’s not funny what I’ve dealt with in the past, but your reaction to killing them is funny. Find the humor in it, come on,” I plead.
He lifts me off the floor and I wrap my legs around him. He crashes his lips to mine, and I moan as his tongue roughly fucks my mouth. His fingers dig into my ass as mine sink into his shoulders. He’s good at distracting me and I don’t know if he does it on purpose or not.
When he breaks the kiss, he rests his forehead against mine. “I’ll try to find the humor in things, but not this.” He presses a very feather soft kiss to my lips before searching my eyes. “I will never physically or mentally hurt you, sweetheart.”
I run my hands through his hair and kiss his rough cheek. “I never said you would.”
“I know that, I’m trying to make you understand that just because I’ll kill for you, I’ll never bring that anger toward you,” he whispers, sincerely.
It makes my stomach swim with butterflies and my heart double in speed. There are definitely two sides to this man, and he wants to comfort me in knowing I’ll only see the good one. The more time I spend with him, the more I realize that all my fears are baseless. What he does for the club shouldn’t affect my feelings for him.
“I know that, big guy. I really do,” I say, resting my hand against his unshaven cheek.
He cocks an eyebrow and grins. “Big guy?”
I laugh and wrap both arms around his neck. “Don’t like it?”
“No,” he says kissing the tip of my nose and my full lips. “I love it.”
We are finally at Souls and I’m kinda intimated by the amount of people here. Kace hasn’t let go of my hand, so I find comfort in that, but I still feel out of place. I was just getting comfortable around the guys, but this is family and friends. I’ve seen many at the few barbeques I’ve been to, but not everyone.
“Hey, can I steal your girl away for a few minutes?” Harper asks, laughing at Kace.
He looks down at me, silently seeking my permission. It causes my pulse to race at the sweet gesture. I nod and he kisses me in front of everyone. I can feel my cheeks heat up as I walk away with Harper.
“That guy is falling hard,” she says, pushing through the door to the back. I bite my lip as I look at her. She smiles as she links her arm through mine. “You are too, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I think I am,” I say.
“Good, it’s about fucking time,” she says, pushing into the room that she is sharing with Zane.
I look around as I sit on the bed. “What are we doing?”
“I wanted to ask you privately how you’re doing. I know this is a lot and I wanted to make sure you’re alright,” she says.
I sigh as I wrap my arm around my flat stomach. “We talked about it all. I’m scared something bad is gonna happen, but he asked me to trust him, so I am trying to do that.”
“That’s what you need to do. They are up against some shit, but they’ll do whatever is necessary to keep us safe.”
She looks so happy and comfortable. I think deep down she lives for this kind of shit. She likes the rush and the danger. I guess when you grew up surrounded by it, it’s just normal. It reminds me I wanted to talk to her about everything. There’s no one else I trust more than her.
“Harper, how do you separate the Zane that kills people to the Zane that loves you?” I ask, nervous for her answer.
She pulls her legs up on the chair and wraps her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees. He
r blue eyes sparkle as she looks at me. “I don’t really. I love him entirely for who he is and what he does.”
“You said once that the killings don’t bother you. I need you to help me understand it, because that’s the thing I am having the most trouble with. How can he kill someone and come home to me and the baby acting like it was just another day?” I ask.
She smiles as she looks around the room at all their things. “Killing someone isn’t something they do because they want to. It’s necessary to survive. Remember, it’s kill or be killed. Kace killing someone and coming home to you and the baby is how he makes it just another day. He did what he had to do to ensure you are both safe and he shouldn’t be judged for that.”
I think about what she said and try to see it her way. It’s just difficult for me. I think I might need to understand the club better in order to see it all differently. Harper understands it all and they all respect her for it. I’m not looking to have the connections she has with them. I understand fully that she grew up with them, but I’d like to fit in.
I peel my eyes away from the ugly carpet and glance at her. “How can I fit in?”
She laughs as she stands up, pulling me off the bed. “You fit in by being here. Come on, let’s go get a drink.”
“I can’t drink or smoke. I’m going fucking crazy,” I whine.
She smiles as we walk out the door to all the noise. “Another reason why I’m never gonna get pregnant.”
Zane pulls her away from me and kisses her while I slowly walk away. When I was young I figured my life would be so different. I planned to fall in love, get married, and have kids. I seem to be doing it backwards here. I got pregnant and I’m starting to fall for Kace, yet Zane and Harper are desperately in love and married with no chance of having a baby. Life never goes as you plan it that’s painfully clear.
“Everything alright,” Kace whispers in my ear as he wraps his arms around me from behind.
Kace (Shattered Souls MC Book 3) Page 12
