I do, and I see the normal ship again. I start to turn back around and he stops me.
“No, don’t look back. Just keep going.”
He’s so close to me and he smells like leather and woodsmoke. We walk up the rest of the stairs together and he talks to me the whole time as if I’m a skittish apprentice. For once I don’t mind. When we get to the next level we walk down the hallway until we see a steward. He flags him down and asks him to bring breakfast to my room, and the steward half bows and then leaves us.
“Thank you so much,” I say, finally getting control of myself again. “I don’t know what happened.”
“It really is a normal reaction,” and he smiles at me as he reassures me. I can’t help but notice the dimple in his cheek, his strong white teeth, the stubble on his jaw. I realize how good it feels to be with someone who isn’t demanding that everyone do what they want, someone whose eyes are safe for me to look into. I want him to hug me and I immediately stiffen. Assassins don’t get hugs.
“I’m just glad I was there. You looked like you were going to pass out.”
I laugh despite myself. “I might have, really. I should get going; I’m starving and if they deliver my food when I’m not there my roommate will eat it all.” He would, and he’d never mention it.
His eyes glow when he smiles. “We can’t have that. Hopefully I’ll see you again.”
I get to my room at the same time as the food. Zair is up, he’s clean, and his hair is brushed. We have breakfast together and I tell him about the bottom of the airship. He laughs and for once I don’t hear any meanness in it.
“I should go see it, although I’d probably piss myself in fear.” He puts a forkful of eggs in his mouth. I’m back to my normal breakfast porridge; I need to keep in shape somehow.
“So you’ve never seen that either?”
“Nope, but I’d heard about it. I should have warned you but I didn’t think they’d move breakfast all the way down there once it got too cold to eat up top.”
I shudder just remembering it. “It was the weirdest feeling, like I was drawn to something that could kill me. I hated it.”
His face grows serious. “I can understand that. You said a handsome stranger rescued you?”
“I don’t think I called him handsome, did I?” I’m shocked.
He chuckles. “You didn’t have to, it was in your voice. Does our indomitable assassin have a crush?”
“What is a crush?”
“You know, when you meet someone new, and your heart does that funny thing and you blush when you think of someone and you make excuses to have breakfast with them.”
“That doesn’t sound like me,” I laugh, and take a bite of my porridge. It’s so bland.
“Do you have someone back home?” he asks, serious again. “Another assassin?”
I look down, still careful not to meet his eyes. “No, there’s no one. They train us to be alone.”
“But you still have feelings, right? They can’t train those out of you,” he presses.
I can feel it welling up inside me, the secret I’ve carried. I don’t know why but I let it out; I confide in him, of all people.
“I don’t have feelings like that, I never have. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why they chose me. I feel like a monster.”
My eyes well up and then I can’t stop the sobs. Here I am, a trained assassin, and I’m crying over nothing. I never cry.
“Alinya,” he says, and his hand covers mine. “You are not a monster. I know monsters. I was raised by some of them. You could have killed me any time this week and you didn’t. And when you get mad, you don’t just speak for yourself, you speak for your people. So no matter what happens don’t ever let anyone make you feel like a monster. You have a beautiful heart.”
“You really think so?” I ask, ashamed of the quaver in my voice. I don’t know why I want his approval.
“I really do. It’s ok. Whatever is going on with you, whatever they did to you or however you were born, it’s not your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
He is right. It wasn’t my fault they picked me. It wasn’t my fault they trained me to kill.
I want to look him in the eyes but I can’t take the risk. I squeeze his hand instead.
“So you can’t fall in love? Have sex? Have babies?”
“Well, not as an assassin, no. We take vows. But if it weren’t for that I would do some of those things, maybe. But probably never fall in love, not romantic love. I’ve never felt that way. I cared about my family, I loved them, but as I started growing I never felt anything special for anyone. The Masters told me I was born different, and that it was a good thing, it would make my life in the guild so much easier without ties or temptations.”
“But the other stuff?” he asks, more interested than I would have expected.
I try not to blush. “Sometimes I’m interested in physical things, and sometimes I want to be able to cuddle, or something. But I just put those thoughts aside.” I don’t tell him how I felt when the man who rescued me from the glass bottom of the ship touched me, whispered so that I felt his breath on my face. I may not know much about relationships but I suspect sharing that with Zair would lead to trouble.
I decide to change the subject. “How long until we get to the Winter City?”
He lets go of my hand. “Two more days. Are you that desperate to be rid of me?”
“No, I’m just excited to get off this ship. I want to see the armored bears!”
He frowns at me sternly. “Those are just a myth, Alinya. Don’t be such a peasant.”
I hit him with my pillow.
CHAPTER 8
That night I dream of killing him; my knees pressing into his chest, my knife arcing up and then down, down, drowning in his blood. Killing in anger is the greatest shame for an assassin; not killing at all is second. We have a newfound peace; who will be the first to break it?
◆◆◆
Two days later, as promised, we get to the Winter City. The captain summons us all to the foredeck to watch the approach, hundreds of passengers waiting for the first sight of the city. We’re all holding steaming mugs of chocolate coffee and speaking in murmurs.
When we sink through the clouds we are shrouded in mist, a mist that hushes and softens everything. The damp mist can’t get through my furs so I am warm as we pass through it, warm and happy as I look around for the man I met the other day. I don’t see him.
I forget all about him as the clouds end and we get our first view of the city. I’d heard tales of the mythical Winter City as a child but nothing, nothing could have prepared me for the reality. The city is all gray curves and pillars and towers, the twin suns shining down with a cool light. There’s a giant dock jutting out from the city, large enough for a dozen airships, but there are only a handful.
The city itself is built into the side of the mountain, up high, near the peak. Zair walks up to stand beside me, his usual chilly arrogance gone as he gazes in wonder at the city, so much larger than our own City in the Sky. “How did they build the city on the side of the mountain like that?” I ask Zair, for once not afraid of his response.
His voice is subdued. “No one knows. But it’s not built ON the mountain; the city is built into the mountain. It goes all the way through and out the other side.”
I look and try to peer around the mountain. I can’t tell for sure but as far as I can see there is just the city, the mountain spread out below it and the snowy peak above. As we get closer I can make out people standing on the docking platform waiting for the ship to come in.
The captain and his crew are rushing about, getting ready to throw lines to attach to the dock. The head wizard is casting navigation spells and slowing us down as we approach and all too quickly we are nestling into one of the berths and the crew ties us in.
Zair fidgets while we wait for the ramp to lower and for the captain to give the all clear. He’s ready to jump if he has to. I pat him on the shoulder a
s if he’s a nervous apprentice and he tries to settle down. “I just want to see my cousin,” he whispers. “I just want my life back.”
I get it. I want my life back too, but it may never happen. We have to concentrate on surviving, somehow. The worst part is I don’t really know how to do anything if I’m not doing the one thing I was trained to do.
The ramp hits the dock with a clang and dockworkers on the ground tie it down. Everyone cheers and claps and throws empty cups in the air. I worry about the mess but the wizard vanishes the cups with a wave; he must be used to this. Travel-sacks on our shoulders, we follow the crowd down the ramp and into the Winter City.
The air here smells like ice-mint and the cold white flowers that come only from the north. They are hanging from awnings and we are each handed one as we walk through the throngs of travelers and locals. Zair tucks his into my hair and I slide the stem of mine into his jacket. Their smell is heady and I smile at the beauty all around me, so much different than the colorful riot of Hinshalla. This is the beauty of frozen lakes and snowcats and tall, elegant creatures sheathed in white like the woman who approaches us.
Her ice-blue eyes are surrounded by thick lashes covered in frost. Her gown is white silk and she wears matching slippers; blue and white markings like long curving lines paint her bare arms and face. I doon’t know how she is not freezing in that outfit but she is lovely and I’m glad she hasn’t covered herself, I just want to look at her and touch her. Her silver hair cascades down her back in long rippling waves as she walks to us.
“Darling Zair,” she croons, holding out her arms to the prince. Shocked, I look at him and he’s rushing towards her with a grin.
“Cousin Freyja, you didn’t have to come meet us yourself!” He wraps his big arms around her and she smiles, a smile that is genuine but not at all warm. I watch with interest to see if her paint gets on him; it doesn’t.
“Of course I did,” she murmurs. “I couldn’t send a servant to fetch you, you might run off again.”
His smile slips for a moment and then he introduces us. I notice he doesn’t tell her how we met, only that we are traveling together. I might be imagining the heat in her eyes as she looks at me, but I’m not imagining the heat I feel looking back at her. As she turns to lead us away from the dock I see a familiar set of amber eyes over her shoulder but they are gone when I try to find them in the crowd.
Once we leave the port area I notice something; I spend most of our walk trying to find all the people that must live in this giant city but I do not see very many people at all. Zair and his cousin are chattering about family and I can’t understand anything they’re saying.
The walk is refreshing after being cooped up on an airship for a week. I’m getting warmer as we walk and I take off my fur coat and then I pause to wrestle off my boots. Freyja and Zair stop and he takes off his heavy coat as well. “Why are we so hot?” I ask.
Freyja laughs, a sound like the chiming of bells. “It’s part of the magic of the city. It’s acclimating to you; once it does, as long as you are in the city it will always make sure you are comfortable.”
I can’t even imagine how much magic that would take. I think of the wizard on the ship feeding raw magic to the ship’s wheel so that the rich can visit other cities, and then I remember seeing little girls coming back from the fields, tired and dirty from harvesting magic all day, every day. The ones who make it back.
Freyja and Zair are walking again and I hurry to catch up. I don’t know what to do with all the thoughts and feelings I’m having but I know, I know to my core that there is something wrong with our world.
We walk up white stone steps surrounded by small gardens full of twisting trees and white flowers, peppered with tiny red berries. The steps lead to a landing with a shimmering pillar. Freyja tells us to link hands and we do; we step into the shimmering pillar and we are taken up, up to the heart of Winter’s Palace.
I don’t get to see much of it at first. Freyja takes us to our room, a connected suite that’s almost as large as our entire guildhouse back home. “Clean up, get some rest, and then come down for dinner. The rooms should have suitable clothes in the wardrobes. I’m sure you’ll find something to your taste.” Her eyes linger on me for a moment and then she leans in to kiss each of us on the cheek before sweeping off down the hall. I wonder if the rest of her is as soft as her lips.
The suite has a sitting area, two separate bedrooms, and two bathrooms. Each bedroom is large enough for a giant canopy bed and more seating areas, and each of them has a writing desk and a small table. Zair claims the first bedroom by dropping onto the fluffy white blankets with a long sigh.
“Civilization at last!” he wiggles around on the blankets like a cat. Rolling my eyes, I open the connecting door to the other room and freeze. There’s a man on my bed and he looks an awful lot like the man I met in the glass-bottom dining room on the airship.
Zair comes up behind me to snoop in my room. “Why are you - “ and then he lets out an uncharacteristic shriek as he sees the man on the bed. “Alexsi!!” Zair jumps on the bed and tackles him, wrapping his arms around him and smiling the realest smile I’ve ever seen from him. “Alexsi,” he says softly. Alexsi hugs him back, tightly, and I feel awkward just standing there. I turn and leave, closing the door softly behind me.
CHAPTER 9
The bathroom is incredible. There is a large white tub nestled up against a window with a gorgeous view of the blue and yellow sky; the floor is heated marble. There are warm, fluffy gray towels that smell like lemon and vanilla, and little pots and jars of colorful scented powders and gels and lotions and oils. I don’t know what to do with any of it, but I spend some time trying them all.
I fill the bath with soapy purple water. There’s a giant froth of bubbles on top. I wonder how the water is heated, and then I figure it’s probably more magic. It’s probably all magic. For once I’m not worried about the waste as I wallow in hot soapy water and blow bubbles in the air. The bathroom on the ship was decent and we stayed mostly clean but I wasn’t able to soak in a tub. I finally feel really clean for the first time in a long time.
I play with more soaps that leave rainbow oil slicks on my skin and I giggle before sinking all the way under the water, getting my hair good and wet, the bronze strands fanning out around me and then sinking as they get saturated with water. I scrub my scalp with my nails and then come up for air, splashing water on the floor and generally making a terrible mess of the lovely bathroom.
An hour later I rinse my hair under the tub’s faucet until all the soap is out of it. I tie it up in a knot and find the drain release; the water drains in just one minute and then the tub is clean and dry as if someone had scrubbed it down. The floor is dry too, even though I know I must have splashed buckets of water on it.
There’s a comb waiting for me on the counter and a small pot of scented hair lotion. I comb out my hair and then work the lotion into my hair. It’s heavy but when it dries it will be soft and lighter and won’t frizz around my face. The gray towel is so soft as I dry off and there is a matching gray robe hanging in the bathroom closet. I wrap myself up in it and then head out through my room and into the seating area, where Zair and Alexsi are waiting for me on the couch.
They have gray robes too and they are sitting close to each other. Zair looks a little sheepish but there’s no reason; I didn’t take his flirting seriously, and even if I thought he meant it, it wouldn’t have meant the same thing to me. I give him a grin and a nod so he knows we’re ok and then I look at Alexsi.
“We haven’t officially met yet. I’m Alinya,” and I hold out my arm.
“Alexsi,” he says in that voice I remember. He clasps my forearm and looks at me with his amber eyes and we hold there for a minute before releasing. The handshake of new comrades.
I sit down in a chair facing the couch and let my curiosity take over. “Why were you on the ship? Why didn’t you talk to Zair?”
Alexsi clears his throat. H
is arm is around Zair again. “I heard the story, that an assassin had killed the prince and was leaving by airship. Someone saw you get on that airship, so I managed to get on board before it left.”
Wait. “Who saw us?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know. I heard it as I was walking through the City in the Sky; that a girl in assassin’s clothes was seen boarding the airship to the Winter City. So I ran to the docks and booked passage and looked for you.”
I’m shaking his head as he’s talking. “We got on the ship right before it left; there wasn’t a moment to spare. If you heard that in the city and then had to get to the port, that means we weren’t even on the ship yet. They had to have said that before we picked a ship, maybe even before we got to the port. How is that possible?”
Alexsi shrugs and looks at Zair. “She’s right,” Zair says. “We tried to get on any ship we could find; the first two weren’t even going directly here. We got lucky that we were able to get on a ship that just happened to be going to the exact place I was hoping to go.”
I hadn’t thought about that part. The two ships that turned us away - of course they wouldn’t be heading here. I can’t think where they’d have been going. I realize I don’t know very much at all about our world.
None of us have the answer to this particular puzzle. I think of The Joker and the note he left me on the ship and I wonder if he has anything to do with Alexsi finding us.
“But why didn’t you talk to Zair on the ship?”
“I thought he was dead,” he answers. I can hear in his voice how much he’d been hurting. “I thought you’d killed him.”
“If you thought that why were you so nice to me at breakfast?”
Zair laughs nervously. “Alinya, why are you grilling him?”
“I’m just trying to understand. The three of us were on that ship together for a week and I only saw him once, and the two of you never crossed paths once? Not even at dinner?”
Empire of Sky Page 5
