VOLUME TWO, CHAPTER TEN.
Through coaches, drays, choked turnpikes, and a whirl Of wheels, and roar of voices, and confusion, Here taverns wooing to a pint of "purl," There mails fast flying off; like a delusion.
Through this, and much and more, is the approach Of travellers to mighty Babylon; Whether they come by horse, or chair, or coach, With slight exceptions, all the ways seem one. BYRON.
When Newton Forster and his father arrived at London, they put up at anobscure inn in the Borough. The next day Newton set off to discover theresidence of his uncle. The people of the inn had recommended him toapply to some stationer or bookseller, who would allow him to look overa red-book; and in compliance with these instructions, Newton stopped ata shop in Fleet-street, on the doors of which was written in large giltletters--"Law Bookseller." The young men in the shop were very civiland obliging, and, without referring to the Guide, immediately told himthe residence of a man so well known as his uncle; and Newton hastenedin the direction pointed out.
It was one of those melancholy days in which London wears the appearanceof a huge scavenger's cart. A lurid fog and mizzling rain, which hadbeen incessant for the previous twenty-four hours; sloppy pavements, andkennels down which the muddy torrents hastened to precipitate themselvesin the sewers below; armies of umbrellas, as far as the eye could reach,now rising, now lowering, to avoid collision; hackney-coaches in activesloth, their miserable cattle plodding along with their backs arched andheads and tails drooping like barn-door fowls crouching under thecataract of a gutter; clacking of pattens and pestering of sweepers; nota smile upon the countenance of one individual of the multitude whichpassed him;--all appeared anxiety, bustle, and selfishness. Newton wasnot sorry when he turned down the narrow court which had been indicatedto him, and, disengaged from the throng of men, commenced a more rapidcourse. In two minutes he was at the door of his uncle's chambers,which, notwithstanding the inclemency of the weather, stood wide open,as if there should be no obstacle in a man's way, or a single moment forreflection allowed him, if he wished to entangle himself in the expensesand difficulties of the law. Newton furled his weeping umbrella, andfirst looking with astonishment at the mud which had accumulated abovethe calves of his legs, raised his eyes to the jambs on each side, wherein large letters, he read at the head of a long list of occupants, "MrForster, Ground Floor." A door with Mr Forster's name on it, within afew feet of him, next caught his eye. He knocked, and was admitted bythe clerk, who stated that his master was at a consultation, but wasexpected back in half an hour, if he could wait so long. Newtonassented, and was ushered into the parlour, where the clerk presentedthe newspaper of the day to amuse him until the arrival of his uncle.
As soon as the door was closed Newton's curiosity as to the character ofhis uncle induced him to scrutinise the apartment and its contents. Inthe centre of the room, which might have been about fourteen feetsquare, stood a table, with a shadow lamp placed before the only part ofit which was left vacant for the use of the pen. The remainder of thespace was loaded with parchment upon parchment, deed upon deed, paperupon paper. Some, especially those underneath, had become dark anddiscoloured by time; the ink had changed to a dull red, and the imprintof many a thumb inferred how many years they had been in existence, andhow long they had lain as sad mementos of the law's delay. Others werefresh and clean, the japanned ink in strong contrast with the glossyparchment, new cases of litigation fresh as the hopes of those who hadbeen persuaded by flattering assurances to enter into a labyrinth ofvexation, from which, perhaps, not to be extricated until thesedocuments should assume the hue of the others, which silently indicatedthe blighted hopes of protracted litigation. Two massive iron chestsoccupied the walls on each side of the fireplace; and round the wholearea of the room were piled one upon another large tin boxes, on which,in legible Roman characters, were written the names of the parties whoseproperty was thus immured. There they stood like so many sepulchres ofhappiness, mausoleums raised over departed competence, while the namesof the parties inscribed appeared as so many registers of the folly andcontention of man.
But from all this Newton could draw no other conclusion than that hisuncle had plenty of business. The fire in the grate was on so small ascale, that although he shivered with wet and cold, Newton was afraid tostir it, lest it should go out altogether. From this circumstance hedrew a hasty and unsatisfactory conclusion that his uncle was not verypartial to spending his money.
But he hardly had time to draw these inferences and then take up thenewspaper, when the door opened, and another party was ushered into theroom by the clerk, who informed him, as he handed a chair, that MrForster would return in a few minutes.
The personage thus introduced was a short young man, with a round face,bushy eyebrows, and dogged countenance, implying wilfulness, withoutill-nature. As soon as he entered he proceeded to divest his throat ofa large shawl, which he hung over the back of a chair; then doffing hisgreat-coat, which was placed in a similar position, he rubbed his hands,and walked up to the fire, into which he insinuated the poker, andimmediately destroyed the small symptoms of combustion which remained,reducing the whole to one chaos of smoke.
"Better have left it alone, I believe," observed he, re-inserting thepoker, and again stirring up the black mass, for the fire was nowvirtually defunct.
"You're not cold, I hope, sir?" said the party, turning to Newton.
"No, sir, not very," replied Newton, good-humouredly.
"I thought so; clients never are; nothing like law for _keeping youwarm_, sir. Always bring on your cause in the winter months. I do, ifI can, for it's positive suffocation in the dog-days!"
"I really never was _at law_," replied Newton, laughing; "but if ever Ihave the misfortune, I shall recollect your advice."
"Never was at law! I was going to say, what the devil brings you here?but that would have been an impertinent question.--Well, sir, do youknow there was a time at which I never knew what law was," continued theyoung man, seating himself in a chair opposite to Newton. "It was manyyears ago, when I was a younger brother and had no property: no one tookthe trouble to go to law with me; for if they gained their cause therewere no effects. Within the last six years I have inherited aconsiderable property, and am always in hot water. I heard that thelawyers say, `causes produce effects.' I am sure I can say that`effects have produced causes!'"
"I am sorry that your good fortune should be coupled with such adrawback."
"Oh, it's nothing! It's just to a man what a clog is to a horse in afield, you know pretty well where to find him. I'm so used to it--indeed so much so, that I should feel rather uncomfortable if I hadnothing on my hands: just keeps me from being idle. I've been intoevery court in the metropolis, and have no fault to find with one ofthem, except the Court of Rights."
"And pray, sir, what is that Court, and the objection you have to it?"
"Why, as to the Court, it's the most confounded rascal; but I must becareful how I speak before strangers, you'll excuse me, sir (not that Isuspect you, but I know what may be considered as a libel). I shalltherefore just state, that it is a court at which no gentleman canappear; and if he does, it's of no use, for he'll never get a verdict inhis favour."
"What, then it is not a court of justice?"
"Court of justice! no, it's a court for the recovery of small debts: butI'll just tell you, sir, exactly what took place with me in that court,and then you will be able to judge for yourself. I had a dog; sir, itwas just after I came into my property; his name was Caesar, and a verygood dog he was. Well, sir, riding out one day about four miles fromtown, a rabbit put his nose out of a cellar, where they retailedpotatoes. Caesar pounced upon him, and the rabbit was dead in a moment.The man who owned the rabbit and the potatoes, came up to me and askedmy name, which I told him; at the same time, I expressed my sorrow atthe accident, and advised him in future to keep his rabbits in hutches.He said he would, and demanded three shillings and sixpence for the
onewhich the dog had killed. Now, although he was welcome to advice, moneywas quite another thing; so he went one way, muttering something aboutlaw, and I another, with Caesar at my heels, taking no notice of histhreat. Well, sir, in a few days my servant came up to say thatsomebody wished to see me upon _particular_ business, and I ordered himto be shown up. It was a blackguard-looking fellow, who put a piece ofdirty paper in my hand; summoned me to appear at some dog-hole oranother, I forget where. Not understanding the business, I enclosed itto a legal friend, who returned an answer, that it was a summons to theCourt of Rights; that no gentleman could go there; and that I had betterlet the thing take its course. I had forgotten all about it, when, in afew days, a piece of paper was brought to me, by which I found that theCourt adjudged me to pay 1 pound, 2 shillings, 6 pence, for damages andcosts. I asked who brought it, and was told it was the son of thepotato-merchant, accompanied by a tipstaff. I requested the pleasure oftheir company, and asked the legal gentleman what it was for.
"`Eighteen shillings, for ten rabbits destroyed by your dog, and 4shillings, 6 pence, for costs of court.'
"`Ten rabbits!' exclaimed I; `why he only killed one.'
"`Yes, sir,' squeaked out the young potato-merchant; `but it was a doerabbit, in the family way; we counted nine young ones, all killed too!'
"`Shameful!' replied I. `Pray, sir, did your father tell the Court thatthe rabbits were not born?'
"`No, sir; father only said that there was one doe rabbit and ninelittle ones killed. He asked 4 shillings, 6 pence, for the old one, butonly 1 shilling, 6 pence a-piece for the young ones.'
"`You should have been there yourself, sir,' observed the tipstaff.
"`I wish Caesar had left the rabbit alone. So it appears,' replied I,`he only asked 3 shillings, 6 pence, at first; but by this _Caesareanoperation_, I am nineteen shillings out of pocket.'--Now, sir, what doyou think of that?"
"I think that you should exclaim against the dishonesty of thepotato-merchant, rather than the judgment of the Court. Had youdefended your own cause, you might have had justice."
"I don't know that. A man makes a claim against another, and takes hisoath to it; you must then either disprove it, or pay the sum; your ownoath is of no avail against his. I called upon my legal friend, andtold him how I had been treated, and he then narrated the followingcircumstance, which will explain what I mean:--
"He told me that he never knew of but one instance in which arespectable person had gained his cause, and in which, he was ashamed tosay, that he was a party implicated. The means resorted to were asfollows:--A Jew upholsterer sent in a bill to a relation of his for achest of drawers, which had never been purchased or received. Refusingto pay, he was summoned to the Court of Rights. Not knowing how to act,he applied to my informant, who, being under some obligations to hisrelative, did not like to refuse.
"`I am afraid that you'll have to pay,' said the attorney to hisrelation, when he heard the story.
"`But I never had them, I can swear to it.'
"`That's of no consequence; he will bring men to swear to the delivery.There are hundreds about the Court who are ready to take any oath, athalf-a-crown a head; and that will be sufficient. But, to oblige you,I'll see what I can do.'
"They parted, and in a day or two my legal acquaintance called upon hisrelation, and told him that he had gained his cause. `Rather at theexpense of my conscience, I must acknowledge,' continued he; `but onemust fight these scoundrels with their own weapons.'
"`Well, and how was it?' inquired the other.
"`Why, as I prophesied, he brought three men forward, who swore to thedelivery of the goods. Aware that this would be the case, I hadprovided three others, who swore to their having been witness to the_payment of the bill_! This he was not prepared for; and the verdictwas given in your favour.'"
"Is it possible," exclaimed Newton, "that such a court of Belial canexist in England?"
"Even so; and, as there is no appeal, pray keep out of it. For my--"
But here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Mr JohnForster, who had returned from his consultation.
We have already described Mr John Forster's character; we have now onlyto introduce his person. Mr John Forster was about the middle height,rather inclined to corpulency, but with great show of muscular strength.His black nether garments and silk stockings, fitted a leg which mighthave been envied by a porter, and his breadth of shoulder was extreme.He had a slouch, probably contracted by long pouring over the desk; andhis address was as abrupt as his appearance was unpolished. Hisforehead was large and bald, eye small and brilliant, and his cheeks haddropped down so as to increase the width of his lower jaw. Deep, yetnot harsh, lines were imprinted on the whole of his countenance, whichindicated inflexibility and self-possession.
"Good morning, gentlemen," said he, as he entered the room; "I hope youhave not been waiting long. May I request the pleasure of knowing whocame first? `First come, first served,' is an old motto."
"I _believe_ this gentleman came first," replied the young man.
"Don't you _know_, sir? Is it only a _believe_?"
"I did arrive first, sir," replied Newton; "but as I am not here uponlegal business, I had rather wait until this gentleman has spoken toyou."
"Not upon legal business--humph!" replied Mr Forster, eyeing Newton."Well, then, if that is the case, do me the favour to sit down in theoffice until I have communicated with this gentleman."
Newton, taking up his hat, walked out of the door, which was opened byMr Forster, and sat down in the next room until he should be summoned.Although the door between them was closed, it was easy to hear the soundof the voices within. For some minutes they fell upon Newton's ears;that of the young man like the loud yelping of a cur; that of his unclelike the surly growl of some ferocious beast. At last the dooropened:--
"But, sir," cried the young man, _in alto_.
"_Pay_, sir, _pay_! I tell you _pay_!" answered the lawyer, in astentorian voice.
"But he has cheated me, sir!"
"Never mind--pay!"
"Charged twice their value, sir!"
"I tell you, pay!"
"But, sir, such imposition!"
"I have told you twenty times, sir, and now tell you again--and for thelast time--_pay_!"
"Won't you take up my cause, sir, then?"
"No, sir! I have given you advice, and will not pick your pocket!--Goodmorning, sir;" and Mr Forster, who had backed his client out of theroom, shut the door in his face, to prevent further discussion.
The young man looked a moment at the door after it was closed, and thenturned round to Newton.
"If yours is really law business, take my advice, don't stay to see him;I'll take you to a man who _is_ a lawyer. Here you'll get no law atall."
"Thank-ye," replied Newton, laughing, "but mine really is not lawbusiness."
The noise of the handle of the door indicated that Mr Forster was aboutto reopen it, to summon Newton; and the young man, with a hasty goodmorning, brushed by Newton, and hastened into the street.
Newton Forster; Or, The Merchant Service Page 28
