Ryder's Boys

by Cody Ryder

  We left the car with the valet attendant, and Will and I walked up the wooden walkway leading up to the place, lined with low hanging garden lamps. There was a faint chuckle of water in a stream nearby, and the low murmur and clinking of dining from the inside. We were side by side as we walked, and I had the overwhelming urge to take his hand, but of course I didn’t. This whole thing just felt so damn…romantic.

  “What do you think?” he asked, jerking me out of my thoughts.

  I shook my head. “Amazing,” I said. “Seriously. Up until now, I’ve only ever been able to see places like this in magazines. God, I’d love to shoot places like this someday.”

  When we reached the front of the restaurant, a man in a grey suit that looked more expensive than everything in my apartment combined opened the glass door for us. “Mr. Masterson, Mr. Golden, welcome. Your table is prepared, if you’d please follow me.” I was surprised to hear my name.

  The way the inside was designed reminded me of Will’s apartment, the center was open and had a stream of water running through, with bamboo and other greenery arranged in a sort of garden. All around this center garden were the dining tables, and the host led us to our table, which was in a private section inside the garden itself. I was surprised at how quiet this area was, despite still being inside the restaurant, and I could hardly hear the bustle. We sat down at our table, and the suited host was replaced by another suited waiter, who placed leather-bound menus on the table in front of us. To be honest, I was feeling a little overwhelmed. When he had asked if I was doing anything for dinner I was expecting we’d check out another place in the city – a fancy place for my standards sure, but nothing this fancy. Was this the kind of place that a guy would normally take someone he thought of as a friend?

  “He’s into you!” April’s voice shouted in my head. “I told you he’d take you somewhere romantic!” If she were here I knew she would be kicking my foot under the table and nudging me in the ribs.

  “Do you like wine?” Will asked.

  “Uh, yeah. I guess,” I said. I didn’t know anything about wine.

  “They’ve got a really awesome beer selection here too,” he offered.

  “Beer sounds good.”

  The waiter showed the beer menu filled with a selection of craft beers that were all foreign to me. I selected an IPA, and Will ordered the same. The beers came, and we both sipped at them quietly as we looked at the menu. I decided to keep it simple and order the veal shanks in red wine reduction, and Will ordered fresh caught swordfish with garlic truffle mashed potatoes.

  What was this?

  Was this a…a date? Because right now, with the romantic mountain restaurant and the intimate private table, it sure felt like one. I realized that my palms were sweating. It couldn’t be, could it? It just seemed too surreal. And besides, he was seeing someone. A girl.

  I had to ask him. I had to find out what this was all about. I opened my mouth, and the just as the words, “is this a date” were about to escape my lips, Will spoke first.

  “When I was just a kid, I’d always had an obsession with buildings,” he said. “I’d build these crazy fancy Lego creations, skyscrapers that I had to stand up on a ladder to complete. You could open them up and see inside them, each of the floors were actually there with real rooms and all sorts of cool little details.

  “My father, he was in the movie industry back then. He encouraged me, and must’ve bought thousands of dollar’s worth of Legos for me to play with. He’d bring over his friends to see the stuff I built, and people actually came, not just because they wanted to be nice, but because the stuff I made was actually really good. Everyone always said that I should become an architect, and so I decided, yeah, that’s what I’m going to do. My mom though. She wasn’t so into the idea. She was grooming me to become a singer like she was, only she was convinced I could be famous. After all, my family had connections because of my dad.”

  There was a change in his eyes, their clear ocean blue becoming just a little bit hazy. So that was why he had gotten upset in the car. I could see where this story was going. I was just unsure why he was suddenly telling it to me.

  He told me that his father had gotten sick while he was in high school, and had to retire from acting. He had supported his son with his design and architecture goals up to his death, when Will was enrolled in university.

  “Why didn’t you just finish the program?” I asked.

  “My mom was a mess after my dad passed. I dropped out to take care of her.”

  “And she wanted you to become a singer after that?”

  “I don’t hold it against my mom, not entirely at least. But she can be very…she’s good at getting her way. At the time I thought by doing what she wanted I was doing right by dad. That’s what she convinced me, at least. But now… I don’t believe that’s true at all.”

  “So why don’t you just step away from it all? Go back to architecture, if that’s your passion.”

  He smiled. It wasn’t his normal smile, and it wasn't one tinged with sadness either, but there was something in it. Doubt, maybe?

  “I’m too wrapped up in my world now,” he said. “I’ve got album contracts. Fans to take care of. And my mother, of course.”

  It didn’t make much sense to me, but it seemed like something that was beyond me. Fame, the music industry, all of that, it was way outside of my experience. I let out a long breath.

  “Sorry, Luke,” he said, and he took a long swallow of his beer. “Not to bring the vibe down or anything, but I figured I should explain why I acted the way I did in the car.”

  “It’s alright,” I said. “I appreciate it.” And I did, not just because I had been so curious about the whole thing, but because for the first time I felt like I was looking at Will Masterson the person, and not at Will Masterson the famous singer. It felt like a kind of filter had been taken off, like when a portrait photographer uses a mist filter on the lens to make the subject look like they’re glowing. Will’s glow had been removed. He was still incredibly handsome, none of that had changed, but I felt more on the same level as him now, and to be honest – it only made my feelings grow stronger for him.

  And that pained me. It was only our second time spending time together, and despite my efforts I couldn’t keep myself from falling harder for him, no matter how many times I reminded myself he was straight and that he had a girlfriend. I needed to know what this was about. Was he only seeing me because I was a way for him to connect with his old passion?

  “Will,” I asked slowly, with a bit more than a hint of hesitation. “Why is it that you want to hang out with me? I know we get along well, but you’re…you.”

  He smiled, and this time it was his genuine, warm, body tingling smile. Then he reached out across the table and placed his hand on my wrist. I flinched, but didn’t move my hand away. I felt my face growing hot. “I told you the other day. Because I like you.” He moved his hand away. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry if I am. It’s just, it’s been a while since I’ve connected with anyone in this way.”

  “What way?” I asked. My voice was low.

  His eyes were locked deeply with mine, and a look of confliction crossed his face, like he was struggling with something deep inside. My heart was racing.

  “Excuse me, sirs.”

  The waiter approached the table with a tray of food perched on his hand. The connection broke like a snap, and we both sat back quickly in our chairs. “Veal shanks for you, Mr. Golden, and for you, Mr. Masterson, the swordfish. Enjoy.” He shuffled off, and I let out a breath and picked up my knife and fork. The moment had passed. I would have to ask him again if I could after we were done.

  The food was mind blowingly good and as I dug in I suddenly realized how damn hungry I was. I found myself slowly pushing my conflicting feelings and to the back of my mind as Will told me a hilarious story about how a fan in Europe had given him a bear cub as a present. He just had this way of talking with me th
at completely disarmed me, loosened me up and brought me right to the present. And of course, I felt my want for him growing even stronger.

  We walked around the gardens that surrounded the restaurant, lit by lanterns that lined the pathway and cast everything in a warm, romantic glow. He told me he had something to show me, and we walked side by side, one of my hands in my pocket and the other hanging loosely at my side, just a few inches away from Will’s. I could feel his hand drawing mine in with almost magnetic force, beckoning me to take it. I resisted, though very soon I wouldn’t have to anymore. In the end, it was Will that took me.

  We chatted about work, and he told me about how after recording his album, he’d likely be going on tour. Asia, he said. He was really big in South Korea. He said that while he was there he wanted to see a few famous works of home architecture, if he had the spare time, which was rare. He had to go from place to place constantly, never leaving much time for him to do anything except perform, attend parties, press events, signings, and all while working in a moment to sleep. He sounded tired just talking about it.

  I had always just assumed that celebrities loved their work. I mean, they were doing some special, something rare that very few could achieve, and making tons of money while they were at it, but with Will I could see that this wasn’t always the case. He was carrying someone else's torch – his mother's.

  We walked up a long set of stairs and at the top I was greeted by a sight that completely took my breath away. We were up at an observation area, looking out over the vast expanse of west Los Angeles, glimmering like a carpet of gems resting at the foot of the downtown skyline in the distance.

  “Even this dirty old city can look beautiful with a view like this,” I laughed, and he agreed. I stared out over the vast expanse, watching the slow flow of headlights and tail lights of the cars backed up on the 10 freeway, like a red and gold river of light, when I felt Will’s hand draw around my waist. I looked at him in surprise, and he gazed back at me with eyes that were filled with desire for me. My surprise faded quickly as all the questions I had were answered with that one touch. I didn’t care about anything else, I didn’t think about anything else, other than he wants me too. And then our lips drew together.

  I had kissed girls before, and it was nice, but I had never really enjoyed it, at least not as much as I figured I should have enjoyed it. I kind of just assumed that maybe I wasn’t into kissing, that it was just something that didn’t really do it for me, but here, my lips pressed firmly against Will’s, tasting him, smelling the light musk of his cologne, I was struck with a hunger. We both were, and I clutched at the back of his neck as he drew me in close against him, his hand pressed firmly around the small of my back, and I couldn’t get enough of him. I felt a surge of energy between my legs as my cock sprang to life, something that had never happened to me with any of the girls I had dated, and I found myself gasping both in surprise and in want for him as everything that had built up inside was released.

  He pushed me up against the rail, kissing my neck and biting my ear as I groaned softly, my cock now pressing firmly against my underwear. I would’ve let Will take me right then and there, bend me over that railing and do things to me that I had tried for so long to keep out of my mind because I couldn’t accept that I was the kind of man who wanted to do those things with another guy. But he didn’t. Our tongues explored each other's and he lightly sucked the tip of mine before breaking away, gazing deeply into my eyes. I realized my breath was almost a pant, my heart was beating so fast and so hard.

  “Should we be doing this?” I asked, knowing full well that the answer didn’t matter.

  “Yes,” Will said simply. He took my hands in his. “Luke, I don’t want you to think that I’m like this with just any hot guy that I meet. I’ve never met anyone like you, and it’s not just because we share a passion. Truth is, it’s not easy for me to trust people. I never know what people are trying to get from me. But with you…right from the day we met I’ve just felt at ease with you.”

  “I felt the same way,” I admitted, squeezing his hands softly. They were so warm in my grasp, so real, and I could hardly believe that I was touching them. “I’ve never felt this way about another man before.”

  He nodded and kissed me again. “We can’t let anyone know about us,” he said.

  We went back down to the restaurant, walking casually side by side as we had done on the way up, my hand aching even more for his now that the floodgates had been opened, but I knew that he couldn’t be seen doing that. My head was swimming with euphoria, and I constantly had to remind myself that I wasn’t dreaming, that this was real, and I also knew that I stepped into territory I wasn’t familiar with. I was in Will’s world now, one where anyone with a cell phone could snap a picture and create a scandal that would be literally seen around the world. We drove back to his apartment, and we were both drunk with how we felt for each other, and I had completely forgotten that according to his Wikipedia, Will was already a taken man.

  I couldn’t wait to get my hands on him again, and I kept them thrust in my pockets as we walked from his car up to the door of his loft, and I wondered where the rest of the night was going to lead. We reached the front door, and I felt a little thrill of anticipation and a swell of excitement down between my legs, and I had to do everything I could not to get hard. Will tapped his key to the reader, the door whirred and unlocked and he pushed the door open.

  The lights in the apartment were on, but I didn’t pay any notice and assumed that a place like his must have lights that automatically turned on once the door was opened. As soon as the door shut behind us I practically pounced on Will, pushing him backward as I kissed him, letting my hands wander over his sculpted chest. He had enviable definition, and it drove me wild. I wanted to rip his shirt off and see if the photos on the Internet did him justice, even though I knew perfectly well that they wouldn’t.

  I was so distracted by his abs and by what his tongue was now doing to my own that I didn’t notice that the fridge door was open.

  “Will,” a woman’s voice said. “I just ate the rest of the ice cream.” I cranked my head to the right in surprise and saw the fridge swing closed. “I’ll go buy—” Standing there, staring open mouthed at us was a woman whose face I easily recognized. After all, I had seen her in movie not too long ago. “More,” she finished.

  “Hey, Frankie,” Will said, with a sheepish grin.

  Six

  I looked at Will, a wash of confusion rolling over me. In the heat of it all I had completely forgotten that Will was a taken man. Or had I just selectively forgotten? Either way, I was confronted with it now. I braced myself for the fight that I thought was about to come, and I felt a surge of anger as I realized that Will and I had only been intimate for a few hours and already my trust was betrayed. And he said he trusted me…

  But then I saw that Francesca White was smiling. She arched an eyebrow, put a hand on her hip and said, “Well, shit, Will. If you had told me you’d be bringing him home tonight I wouldn't have come over.”

  Will was still smiling sheepishly. “Luke, this is Frankie. Frankie, Luke.”

  She walked over and stuck out her hand. “Hey there,” she said.

  I stood dumbstruck. “You guys…” I pointed back and forth between them. “I read online…”

  “Will did explain us, right?” she said. “Oh, Christ, he didn’t. Will, what the hell?”

  “I’m sorry, Luke,” Will said. “I was going to, but the way the night went it just slipped my mind. Frankie is my best friend. She agreed to pretend to be my girlfriend to dispel the rumors that I was gay.”

  I didn’t even know there were rumors he was gay.

  “Agreed? More like suggested it,” she laughed. “I’m sorry, Luke. I didn’t mean to ruin your guys’ evening.”

  “It’s alright,” I said, dazed. “I’m just relieved. Honestly, it had been on my mind the entire evening up until after dinner. Then I just completely forgot.”<
br />
  “Well, anyway,” Frankie said, walking over to the front door. “Will, you’re out of ice cream, and I’ll bring back a tub next time I’m over. Luke, it was nice meeting you, sorry about the confusion. I’ll see you next time.”

  “Yeah,” I replied. She gave a quick smile and a wave before leaving the apartment. I stared at the shut door, still trying to get a handle on what just happened. Will stood, hands in pockets, and I turned to him. He gave me an apologetic smile. Then I snorted, and started to laugh. He laughed too, and I found the laughter rolling out of me, half from nervous relief and half from amusement at the absurdity of it all.