by Cody Ryder
Bruce nodded, slowly getting up. “Just stunned me. Nice punch. You finally snuck one through.”
After class, they went back to the locker room to shower. As he stood in the shower stall and let the water wash the shampoo from his hair, he couldn’t help but think about the fact that Bruce was just a couple stalls down, completely naked. He managed to stop himself before the thoughts turned too explicit, and quickly finished washing up. I really like this guy, he thought with some amazement. Damn.
When he left the showers, and went back into the locker room, he found himself alone. Bruce was still not done. He kept his towel wrapped around his waist as he pulled his clothes out from the locker—dress clothes again, since he’d rushed over from work.
He’d been in an online meeting with Paul and one of the food distributors they’d been working with to put a new line of breakfast sandwiches into their stores—Paul’s push, of course. The distributor was rethinking their agreement, wanting to back out, and he’d had to pull a miracle of negotiations out of his ass to rescue a contract that he’d hadn’t been completely sure about in the first place. Of course, Joe understood that sometimes sacrifices had to be made in the pursuit of success.
He’d told himself he wasn’t going to miss class that night. He couldn’t. He needed to see Bruce again. He didn’t think he could wait another week to talk to him again. Bruce had been on his mind almost constantly since that first day they’d met, to the point where Lyle had noticed that something was different about the way Joe was acting.
He was about to undo his towel when he heard footsteps behind him and a locker open. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Bruce standing in front of his locker, towel around his waist and beads of water still dotting his broad shoulders. Bruce slipped his thumb underneath the lip of his towel, and Joe quickly glanced away just as he pulled it off. His heart started to thud faster in his chest. God, he wanted to look back over his shoulder and take a little peek.
“We still on for that drink?” Joe asked into the locker. He dropped his towel and slipped on his underwear.
“Yeah,” Bruce’s said. “Are we going to the same place?”
“Why don’t we go back to my place? I just got brand new furniture.” Without even realizing it, Joe held his breath as he pulled on his shirt and buttoned it up. He’s not going to agree to that, he thought, his heart hammering. He could be cool and collected in a boardroom with three bigwig investors staring him down, and now such a simple, stupid question had gotten his hands trembling.
“Your place?” Bruce asked.
“Sure. It’s nearby.” Joe swallowed. His imagination was still running wild, trying to picture just what Bruce looked like with his towel pooled around his feet and his bare body exposed. If he turned around and looked…
He felt a little pulse of energy surge down to his cock, and quickly fought to fill his mind with thoughts of online meetings and boardroom negotiations.
“Alright, yeah,” Bruce said, after what felt like a lifetime. “Okay.”
Joe let out his breath and only then realized that he’d been holding it. He stepped into his pants and sat down onto the bench to put on his shoes. Bruce’s locker shut behind him, and Joe felt him join him on the bench.
“You’re making me feel underdressed,” Bruce said.
Joe laughed, tying the laces on his leather dress shoes. “I did come straight from work.”
They left the gym, and this time Bruce followed behind Joe in his own car. He lived just a few blocks away from the gym, not walking distance but still in the same neighborhood. Joe was glad that he had managed to unpack most of his moving boxes over the week and make his place presentable. Now a completely new issue presented itself—what would he do next?
He began to feel a nervous excitement running inside him.
Sure, he’d dated plenty of men before, and he’d done what he had to do to satisfy his normal manly cravings, but this felt like the first time he’d ever liked someone this much—at least in a very long time. It was a strange feeling that tugged at his heart and enthralled his very being.
Bruce.
“Welcome, come on in,” Joe said, opening the front door and gesturing with a sweep of his arm. “Sorry, I’m still in the process of moving in.”
The walls were mostly bare, but the moving boxes were gone and had been replaced by a big, welcoming leather sofa opposite a gigantic flat screen television, along with a variety of other tastefully chosen furniture and decorations.
“It looks like you bought everything brand new,” Bruce said.
“I kind of did,” Joe admitted. All the furniture was brand new—Joe didn’t see a point to lugging it all from his old place in the bay, so he’d just sold everything.
Joe gestured to the couch as he walked over to the kitchen. “Make yourself at home. How does a gin and tonic sound?”
“Great.” Bruce plunked down onto the couch. He looked around with wide eyes, his hands pushed firmly into his pockets. Joe thought he looked a little overwhelmed. Cute.
“What’s up?” Joe asked.
“Nothing, just…you’ve gotta own some kind of tech company. Right? A place like this, in this side of the neighborhood?”
Joe laughed. “Tech company…Because I moved from the Bay?”
“Yeah.”
Joe got out two short glasses and filled them with ice. “Nope, not a tech company.” He cracked open a new bottle of tonic water and poured it with the gin into the glasses. Then he took out a lime from the fridge, quickly sliced it, and then put wedges into both drinks.
“Okay, what is it then?” Bruce asked. He turned around on the couch and folded his arms over the back.
Joe drew in a long breath. He wanted to tell Bruce that he owned The Standard, but he knew how that information would complicate things. Money and success of that level always did. Right now, Bruce could see that he was a successful entrepreneur, but how successful was up to his imagination. Actually knowing that he was a multi-millionaire would probably be best kept a secret. For now.
“I’d…still rather not say,” he said with an apologetic smile. He passed Bruce his gin and tonic, and then sat down onto the couch beside him. “But I’ll tell you that I work in the restaurant industry.”
“I do too!” Bruce exclaimed, surprised.
“You’re kidding me. You own a restaurant?” What a crazy coincidence!
“Yeah. It’s a small place.”
“What’s it called?”
Bruce looked apprehensive. “I don’t know if I want to say.”
“Why not? I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s only fair.”
Bruce considered this for a moment. “I just…we’re…” He was silent for a moment, and took a swallow from his drink. “I’m just embarrassed.”
Joe laughed. “Why?”
“Because you’re obviously very successful, and my place is just a hole in the wall. And…honestly, we’re not doing so well right now.” He took another big swallow from his drink, draining nearly half the glass.
“I see,” Joe said. “It’s a tough business. The important thing is that you don’t give up on what you believe in. In what you want. I know you’re a fighter. So, you gotta keep fighting.”
Bruce looked at him, and Joe thought he saw a flash of the same spark that burned in his eyes when they were boxing.
“I’m fighting, the best I know how to,” he said.
Bruce took another long sip of his drink and gazed ahead, silent. Joe studied his face, drinking him in slowly. Joe could see that beneath looks that some might’ve mistaken for innocence, Bruce had the marks of experience. He had a toughness in his eyes that was unmistakable. Of course, Joe had seen it there during their boxing matches, but now he knew that it was more than just fighting spirit developed in the ring—it was a callus that could only be gained from the toughness of real life.
“What are you thinking about?” Joe asked, finally.
Bruce blinked and sw
allowed the rest of his gin and tonic. He shook the glass and looked at it, seemingly surprised that he’d finished it so fast.
“Here, let me get you another,” Joe said, taking the glass from him. He swigged down the rest of his own, and then walked back to the kitchen. “So, what are you thinking about? You looked far off there, for a moment.”
“Yeah,” Bruce said. “You remember last time, when I asked if you’ve ever wondered about the direction your life has taken you?”
“Yeah, I do. In fact, I remember you zoning out that time too. Déjà vu.”
“Have you ever wondered if you still care about what you’re fighting for? Or if you’re just doing it because you’ve never stopped to give a second thought to if it’s actually what you still want? And if it’s too late to change?”
Joe’s heart made a little flip. “Yeah. I know it pretty well,” he said quietly. It’s happening to me right now.
“I’m fighting to save my business,” Bruce said. “It’s always been the most important thing in my life. But recently…I’ve been wondering if maybe there’s something else I’m missing.”
“Like what?”
Bruce sat back into the cushions and pushed his fingers through his hair. He sighed. “…I don’t know. Sorry, I’m not even sure what I’m talking about. Maybe I’m a little tipsy.”
You do know, Joe thought. But you don’t want to say it.
“That’s okay,” he said, with a chuckle. “Don’t worry about it. Here.” He went back over to the couch and handed Bruce his drink. “Let’s just enjoy these, huh? We don’t need to talk about heavy shit. It’s our second time hanging out, anyway.” He smiled at him, and the way that Bruce looked back at him made his heart pound just a little faster. There was something in that glance, but it only seemed to last for a brief moment.
“Thanks,” Bruce said. “You know…I’m really glad we met.”
“Me too, Bruce,” Joe said, meeting Bruce’s brief gaze. The two of them sipped their drinks, a moment of comfortable silence draping over them.
After a little while, Joe spoke first. “My best friend, he got married shortly after he and I started the business together. His relationship was never something that phased me. Never wanted that for myself. My work was enough.”
Bruce looked over at him, his eyes inquisitive.
“It was the same when he had his daughter,” Joe continued. He smiled thoughtfully. “Awesome little girl. Just a delight to be around. Still, it never once made me think I’d want one for myself someday. I never had any pause, no second guessing, nothing. My mind was on my work. But just recently, for the first time ever—things felt different. I found myself wishing I could have that.”
“A wife and kid?” Bruce asked evenly.
Joe paused and shifted in his seat, unsure how to answer. Complete truth?
I have to.
“I’m gay,” he said, with a smile. “So not quite.”
“You are?” Bruce asked. Joe caught the surprise that flicked across his face. Was I wrong about him? Shit.
“Sorry, does that make you uncomfortable?”
Now Bruce’s surprise was unhidden. “No,” he said. “I’m just…I mean, I suspected, but I didn’t want to assume.”
Joe’s heart was pounding fast. I shouldn’t have assumed either. Joe had thought he’d sensed something there, some spark…but he could’ve been wrong. He didn’t want to push him away.
“I’m thirty-three,” Joe said. “Five years ago, my company was getting off the ground. In another five years, I’ll be thirty-eight. If I wait to start a family then, would it be too late? Would I even be able to find someone?”
“Of course you would,” Bruce said. “Why wouldn’t you be able to? You’re successful, you’re nice, you’re handsome…” His eyes went wide, and he quickly put his face into his glass and drank.
Joe blinked. Maybe he… “Thanks,” he said. He set his glass down onto the side table by the couch, and moved just ever so slightly closer towards Bruce. “That’s kind of you to say.”
“Mm,” Bruce mumbled, his face turning red.
“But those things don’t necessarily mean I could meet someone I’d want to start a family with,” Joe said.
“That’s true,” said Bruce. “It is rare to meet someone who you have a connection with...”
“It is. Especially for men like us,” Joe replied. He moved a little closer still. “Focused on business. No time for anything else in our lives.”
“Our business is our lives. We don’t need anyone or anything else.” Bruce’s gaze locked with his now, and it seemed to be drawing him in, moving his body closer so that they were just a hand’s distance apart. Joe’s heart was beating so fast he thought he’d see stars—or maybe white flowers.
“That’s right,” Joe said. He could smell the faint spicy musk of Bruce’s body wash. “They’d only be…”
“…a distraction,” Bruce finished.
It was more than just gin intoxicating them. Joe reached out and drew his hand around the back of Bruce’s neck, gently and slowly. He felt Bruce tense up for a moment, but quickly melt into his grasp, moving forward to meet him. Their lips touched for just the lightest of kisses, but it still managed to put a shock through Joe’s body.
They came together again for a longer, deeper kiss. Bruce’s mind up until that moment had been a flurried mess of conflicting emotions, with a driving desire that pushed and urged him towards giving himself to Joe. He gave himself to the kiss, and felt his mind go completely numb. He was unable to think about anything except the fact that this was happening. This was really happening.
Then his functions returned.
They separated. Bruce’s chest pumped up and down, his body trying to catch up with the racing of his heart. Holy shit. Holy shit.
“Wow,” he whispered.
“Wow,” Joe agreed.
“I wasn’t expecting that at all,” Bruce admitted.
“I wasn’t either. But I won’t say I wasn’t thinking about it. Were you?”
Bruce drew in a long breath. He looked flustered. Over the past week, he’d spent nearly every day convincing and reminding himself that he only saw Joe as a friend, and that he’d never let those feelings go any further than that. But it’d all crumpled in an instant.
“I don’t know,” Bruce said. “I don’t really know.”
Joe frowned. “Are you alright?”
“I’m alright,” Bruce said. His voice was distant, airy. “I…I like you, Joe. I just need some time to comprehend what just happened.”
“Alright,” Joe said. “Of course.”
Bruce stood up and put his drink on the side table. “Thanks for the drink,” he said, smiling. “I should go.”
Joe thought about trying to convince him to stay, but decided against it. “Okay.”
Bruce walked for the front door, and Joe followed behind. “Hold on,” he said, and Bruce turned around. “We’re going to see each other again, right? Outside of class, I mean.”
Bruce laughed. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Joe. I just need some time to myself. I don’t regret what just happened between us at all. Let me give you my number…”
They exchanged numbers, and Joe stood in the doorway and watched as Bruce walked down the steps to the driveway. At his car, Bruce turned and gave Joe a small wave before getting in and driving away.
Joe exhaled a long sigh. He held up his hands in front of his face—they were trembling.
I risked it all, he thought. But was it worth it? Did I just make a huge mistake?
He shut the door. He was unable to come up with an answer.
Nine
Bruce sat in his car out in the driveway in front of his house, his hands still on the wheel, his seatbelt still buckled. His mind swirled with happiness and conflict over what had just happened between him and Joe.
Happiness, because deep inside, he had wanted it. Conflict, because he still couldn’t fully accept it.
His heart pounded, t
he moment replaying over and over in his mind. The soft touch of Joe’s lips…the taste of them. He could feel the scratch of his stubble against his cheek, the warmth of his palm around the back of his neck, the lingering fragrance of his cologne.
He felt dizzy, and a surge of excitement traveled down between his legs and pulsed through his member. He swallowed as he felt it come to life, rapidly swelling with each new and vivid recollection of the moment between them.
You don’t want to pursue this, a voice in the back of his mind said. It seemed much further away than it had before. Quieter. Less sure.
