I did do the hard stuff in the end.
The fact that I labored so hard actually sickened me now, and she stood back when I came in. A clear shock and awe moved in her eyes at seeing me, and what lingered beneath the surface only pissed me off. It was a look I knew I’d sported many times before upon seeing her, a happiness deep within, and I didn’t want her to be fucking happy. I wanted her to suffer, to have as much pain and agony as I carried every day since the last time I spoke to her. It’d been the day she bailed on me when I’d been her biggest champion. That incident and more made me push Cami away just now, and I only resented her more.
“Colton…” More of that fucking hope in her voice. She swallowed. “You came.”
“I’m going to make this quick with you,” I said, knowing both my body and voice were shaking. She brought me to a place of little control, and I hated her for that.
I hated her.
Breathing, I attempted to force the shakes out, alleviate the nausea and everything else that threatened to rupture at being forced to confront this woman. I strained my mind to the brink, my body to the edge, like I had every game I played on the court, but this time, the effort wasn’t as easy to overcome. This wasn’t a game. This was my life, and the stakes were so much higher. I was in a dark daze so hard to get out of.
She approached—slowly.
“Colton, if I messed things up,” she said, hesitant. “Between you and your friend? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. She clearly came here without you knowing, came here for you?”
For me…
And the fact that she regarded Cami as my friend only cut my insides apart even wider, like I couldn’t gain air. Like my lungs were too big for my chest and the cave inside physical pained.
I breathed deeply, facing Maggie.
“That woman I sent away?” I questioned, physically quaking. I dampened my lips. “I love her. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved outside of members of my own family, and what’s worse is I couldn’t even share that with her tonight. I couldn’t tell her that I loved her back when she told me because I’m so fucking screwed up by everything I’ve been through with you.”
The words sucked the air out of the room, Maggie’s hand going to her mouth, and hearing them aloud, put a number on me too. My stomach knotted, the nausea surfacing again.
Maggie’s eyes glassed. “Colton…”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. She got enough words in the past—it was my turn now. I put my hand to my chest. “You know I can’t make decisions? That I follow everything everyone else does to a simple food order, or juggling women I don’t even care about because I don’t trust myself? Because I don’t believe in my own decisions enough to make them. I question everything about myself every day because in the back of my mind I think, will this make me like her? Will it send me down a path I don’t want to go down and push everyone I’ve ever cared about away in the process?”
Tears dripped through her eyelashes, but I didn’t care. She had enough, had enough of me, and she was about to know it.
“Basketball and Cami were the two decisions I’ve ever really truly held faith in,” I said, nodding. “And I just barely held onto one and might have lost the other entirely—both because of you—and I’m not doing it to myself anymore.”
“I never wanted that,” she said, coming to me. “I just wanted you to be okay. I wanted all of you to be okay. You and your brothers? Things got hard for me, Colton. They were hard, and I couldn’t be there for you. I wanted to come to your draft party. I wanted to be there, but I fell into some old habits.”
Meaning… drugs, and I’d be naive to say I hadn’t suspected. The fact only made me more like this woman than I ever truly wanted to admit. I turned to drugs too when I had been messed up, something I never touched.
I backed away. “Tonight is the last night I want to hear from you, and that means my brothers and their families as well. Griffin told me you came for him, his wife, Roxie?” I shook my head, disgusted. “You needed money? Really—”
“No.” She dared to come close to me. “I went to Griffin, to his wife only because I needed to know about you. You wouldn’t talk to me, Colton, and I was worried.”
“Worried.” I nearly spat the words. “Because of you, the woman I love thinks I’m crazy. She thinks I tried to hurt myself over you.”
I was rattled, mostly by this, her words and how she looked at me. I couldn’t face her again even if I wanted to. I was too angry, embarrassed, too…
I forced the emotions away. “Stay the hell away from me.”
“Colton—”
“I mean it!”
The whole room went silent, the coffeehouse, everything.
That’s when I saw the camera phones.
There were people with their phones out, all on us, and I wondered for how long. My drama was now out in the air, my life messed up even more, and all because of this woman.
I threw myself through coffeehouse doors. I said all I needed to say and had my own battles now. I wanted to drink, dive back into the depths.
I guess I was more like her than I thought.
Chapter Nineteen
Cami
We ended up leaving San Francisco separately, but not because I wanted to do so. Colton arranged for Tommy and me to be escorted home by other means, as he himself headed back home to LA last night. I only knew because a member of his security woke me up with the information that next morning.
He left me, left the situation, and knowing San Francisco was the last leg of his redemption tour, he had the freedom to do that. He literally didn’t need me until he requested something of me, and finally, getting back into town, he didn’t. He didn’t call me, text, or anything.
I knew because I waited.
I’d been staying in a hotel for over a week, waiting patiently for him to come around, but the only thing that ended up coming in was a text from Roxie. She wanted me to come down to Miami, talk to me about the presentation I sent her. She liked it and, well, wanted to discuss.
I supposed that’s what I wanted, right?
I knew this was big because she even arranged for me to fly down. She said it would be a quick trip, and she was excited to talk to me. I wanted to share the same, but there was so much on my heart. I did agree to go, though, and even texted Colton where I’d be in case he needed to get a hold of me. I got no response on the way to the airport and nothing after I finally landed. This hadn’t surprised me, but I still hoped. I guess I was waiting out for a miracle, which I didn’t get during my trip to Roxie’s office, Rox, Inc.
It was a beautiful place when I got there, a beautiful space with sparkling floors. The bright chandeliers brought attention to the glistening floor tiles, and the sound of clicking heels surrounded me the moment I arrived. The staff was ninety percent female, a powerful essence to the place, and the main source of it came in the form of the CEO. Roxie was in the business of helping people, athletes in particular, and I stood the moment she arrived in the lobby.
In her white power suit, she approached me, just as show stopping as the rest of her team around her. They buzzed like busy bees. Working for a cause like this was my dream. I came to NYC, wishing for the same, but I’d gotten involved with someone who ultimately took any opportunity I could possibly want away from me.
How ironic personal involvement got me here as well, to this place…
“Ready?” Roxie asked me. She was ready for her two o’clock—me—and I pretended like I had it as much together as she did.
Portfolio in hand, I put my hand out for hers and gave a strong shake, but I’d be lying if I said my mind wasn’t on other places. I kept my thoughts of Colton and everything else on the back burner, making my mind stay here.
Once in Roxie’s office, the doors closed behind us. Roxie moved behind her large desk, and I took the front. She brought me into her world, and I was ready to listen.
The pacing of the meeting moved quick, and I had to
stay on my toes just to keep up. Roxie had been completely prepared. She’d already had my concept boards set up and everything. She had them brought in during the meeting, and she’d taken the liberty of making mock-ups of where they’d go. An illustration of my design was set up over a highway. Right downtown in the heart of Miami.
“I want you to come and work for me full time,” she said to me, concluding with that. “I think it’d be a match made in heaven actually.”
I did too. This place… was ultimately perfect for me.
“Of course, we’d have the issue of your boss,” she went on, eyeing me with a coy grin. “Colton says he’s okay with giving you up, but I’m not exactly sure why.”
She had my attention more than she already did.
“You…” I started, my mouth dry. “You spoke with him?”
Her nod was firm. “I did, and he said he’s okay with you working for me, coming here, but I find that hard to believe. Your work is amazing, and I have a feeling that’s the case in everything you do. I’m finding it hard to believe he’d ever give you up.”
The words twisted a dagger in my gut. Though I knew that wasn’t her intention. She was just trying to make me feel valued, nothing more.
“I guess he’s allowing me to move in another direction,” I supplied, saying the words actually making me nauseous. I hadn’t been ready to let go of him.
He’d apparently been ready to let go of me.
I forced a smile. “If he’s okay with it, then, yes, I’d love that. I’d love to work here for you.”
Roxie folded her fingers together, tilting her head. “Well, I’d be happy to have you. I can have my legal team start drawing up papers for your contract immediately, full benefits, and you’d have your own office. It’s right next to mine actually.”
More than perfect. I nodded, trying to be confident in the way I presented it. The pair of us ended our meeting with not just a handshake, but a hug, and I hadn’t been surprised. Roxie just seemed like that type of person, genuine in her overall demeanor. In a way, I felt as if she was inviting me to be a part of some type of family she’d established here.
“You should come to lunch with us,” she said, opening the doors for me. “I’m sure he’d love that.”
The “who” I didn’t get to ask about until it was too late.
Colton stood there, his body swole and thick in the Under Armor, paired with athletic shorts and sneakers he’d chosen to wear that day. It seemed he’d come right from the gym and to Roxie’s office.
Seeing others with him, I soon figured out why.
Roxie’s office was filled with men, tall and blond men, one of which was her husband, Griffin. He too wore shorts and an athletic tee, and his golden locks were slick and filled with sweat. The other two men I recognized as their older brothers, Brody and Hayden. Hayden, the oldest, was the most svelte of the men, his long hair pulled back into a ponytail, and the final brother, Brody, wore a backwards baseball cap on his head. The man was massive, like a literal freight train. He had a basketball under his arm, and all four men seemed to be involved in their own conversation in the middle of the office.
At least, until I arrived.
The youngest of them spotted me immediately, his lips parting. If he’d known I was invited to lunch with apparently most of his family, he sure didn’t act like it. He stood there, jaw slack, and wasn’t the first to make a move. That honor went to Griffin, who as soon as he spotted his wife, made only about three lengthy steps and arrived in her presence.
“Hey, babe,” he said to her, pulling her close. He gave Roxie a modest kiss on the cheek, then cradled her close. The others joined us at this point, but Griffin’s proximity didn’t give them much access. It seemed the largest of them, Brody, hadn’t cared about that because as soon as he made to it Roxie, he was grabbing her.
“Sister-in-law!” he said to her, spinning her around and making her laugh. He set Roxie on her feet. “It’s been too long.”
“It’ll be longer if you don’t give me my wife, Brody. Jesus,” Griffin chided, but he did so with a smile, before taking Roxie’s hand. Roxie gave him a nudge for that and let him go so she could give Hayden a hug.
“Hey, sis,” Hayden said to her. Not as abrasive as Brody, he merely gave her that small embrace before drawing back. “How have things been?”
“Good. Just finishing up with Cami,” she said, acknowledging me. “You guys apparently had fun.”
“The most,” Brody cut in, actually bouncing his ball in her office, which made Griffin shoot him a stern look. Brody shrugged. “Lighten up. You’d think you were the oldest.”
“Someone needs to act like it sometimes,” Griffin said, and all that did was make Brody jostle him. He replaced the ball with Griffin’s neck when he slung his arm around him. The large men jokingly tussled for a bit, and all the while Colton stared at me.
It was like he was in a trance. He didn’t move, and not even the fake scuffling of his siblings could bring him out of it. He stood stark still, and it was Roxie’s voice that brought him to awareness.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I invited Cami to have lunch with us,” she informed them, touching my shoulder. “It seems she’s accepted my offer to work for me, so we’re all going to be seeing a lot more of each other.”
This got a small round of applause from the big men, mostly Brody, who was obviously the jokester. The one who didn’t clap was Colton, and for the first time since he’d seen me, his attention flittered away. He may have approved of me in regards to my previous employment, but at the present, he didn’t express the same excitement as his brothers.
“Hey, I thought Cami worked for Colt,” Brody stated.
Colton’s eyes blinked wide. Suddenly, the attention was all on him, and with it, he was forced to acknowledge it.
Colton faced me. “She’s been given a better opportunity. I’m happy for her.”
He may have said the words, but they sounded more than empty. I didn’t want to be here in this moment, and he clearly didn’t want me to be here with him. What happened the last time we’d seen each other still held a weight between us, and that was so obvious between us. I’d been about to excuse myself until Colton did the honor.
“Hey, I got to go over some things with Cami,” he said to the men. “See you guys outside?”
It’d been a crafty thing to say, keeping it more than casual, since I still worked for him. He could take me outside and tell me I wasn’t invited there. Not that I was taking Roxie up on her offer for lunch. The man clearly didn’t want me there, and I didn’t want to be if I wasn’t wanted.
Colton’s brothers gave him each a handshake/hug combination when he lifted a hand in the air. He gave Roxie a hug, something he hadn’t done in their initial greeting, then did in fact take me outside. We went out back behind Rox, Inc., apparently the perfect place to dismiss me. We ended up in a back parking lot, no one there but us.
“You’re in town with your brothers,” I concluded. It’d been something I didn’t know, not that he’d tell me.
He watched the door. “Uh, yeah. My gram’s birthday’s next week. They’re planning a party for her. Anyway, it was Griffin’s idea.”
“It was a good idea,” I said. It was sweet and something a member of the Chandler clan would do. It was something Colton would do.
His jaw moved, and the way he stared at the door was like he willed it to stay closed. It made me feel even more out of sorts, like I wasn’t wanted.
I threw my hand in my hair. “I didn’t know you’d be here. Roxie called me to Miami for a meeting. I texted you about it.”
And he didn’t respond to said text.
His gaze slid to me. “I know, and I knew you might be here, that it was a possibility.”
“Well, don’t worry. I won’t ruin your fun. I was going to tell Roxie no to lunch.”
He nodded, and there really was all still that between us. How had things been so good, so passionate between us and suddenl
y gone? It was as if it never happened, that he never cared about me or wanted anything to do with me. It made me angry, frustrated, and I faced the dark sky.
“I take it nothing was said to your brothers or Roxie,” I said, looking at him. “You guys look chummy. I suppose your mom was never brought up—”
“No.” He honed in, and I noticed he watched that door again. Why did he feel the need to keep so many secrets from everyone? What did he possibly have to hide where he couldn’t let anyone in, where he couldn’t let me in…
I breathed hard. “Colton—”
“Look, Cami. I gave you what you wanted, okay? You got your job. You got everything—”
“But you,” I said, making him swallow hard. “I did get everything, but I never asked for it. The one thing I asked was you, for you to…”
Emotion filled the words and made finishing them impossible. They were impossible, this complete conversation hopeless.
“I need to go,” I told him. “Give you your space like you asked.”
That was what he wanted, so I was giving him that. His eyes closed at what I said, but he didn’t argue with me to stay. He let me go.
“Cami,” I heard him start to say behind me, but when no steps followed me, I continued.
I was lost in a sea of emotion, coming to the full realization of something. This was over, he and I were over. He was letting me go, and if it was so easy for him, I had to do the same. I made it to my rental car, but something told me to turn around. Something physically pulled me to do so, and the moment I did, I was glad. Colton was on the ground.
And he was holding his chest.
He was literally hunched over, and I ran, dropping all my things in the parking lot.
“Colton!” I screamed, reaching him. I grabbed him and he seemed lost when he looked at me.
He reached for me, a gasp in his throat. “Cami?”
“Colton, what’s wrong? Colton…”
“Something… Cami, something’s wrong. I can’t… I can’t see.”
He stared at nothing, looking toward me but not at me. He held my hand, but he clearly couldn’t see me.
Colton (Found by You Book 7) Page 15
