When she reached the front of the office complex, there was Rick leaning against his parked car. “This is crazy. Why are we doing this? Come on, get in the car. Let’s talk this through.” Rick’s voice was calm and persuasive.
Christy stood still, staring at her shoes. She didn’t want to get in the car. She felt too shaken to let him smooth this one over.
Without looking up, she calmly restated her question. “Where’s my bracelet, Rick?”
“You know,” he said in a broken voice, “I thought I was doing the best thing for us. I really did.” He sounded like he was about to cry.
Christy battled with whether she should keep her distance or go to his side and comfort him. She stayed several feet away but spoke softly. “What did you do, Rick?”
“I didn’t want anything to come between us. I had no idea that bracelet meant so much to you. I took it to the jewelry store and traded it for the one I gave you.”
“You traded it?” Christy said in a whisper. Then with firm, angry words she said, “You had no right to do that.”
“I know. I realize that now. At the time I thought it was the best thing for our relationship. I’m sorry.”
She couldn’t tell if he was truly sorry or only sorry the trade had backfired on him.
“You don’t have to compete with everybody in the world, Rick. You don’t have to be jealous of Todd. He’s thousands of miles away.”
“No, he’s not. He’s still in your head. I can tell. He’s competition. He always has been.”
“I can’t believe this! Rick, I’m dating you, not Todd. Can’t you see how much I’ve wanted to be with you?”
“What is it about him? Why is he still so important to you? Did he write you love poems or make big promises about your future?”
Christy couldn’t help but laugh. “No. Todd has never written me a letter or note of any kind. And he is about the most noncommittal person I’ve ever known.”
“Then what’s the deal with him? What makes you so drawn to him?”
Christy had to think about it. Rick was right; some kind of bond existed between her and Todd. How could she explain it?
“I think it’s the Lord,” Christy said finally. “I think what makes Todd unique is that he prays with me and—”
“We can pray. Is that what you want?”
Christy realized that during the entire time she had known Rick and had been dating him, they had never prayed or even talked about the Lord or spiritual things. “Yeah, I’d like it a lot if we prayed together. But it’s not just that. It’s …”
In trying to find the words to explain Todd’s uniqueness, she remembered how Todd would look when he talked about God. It was a contented, vulnerable, strong-as-a-rock look. That was it. Todd loved Jesus more than anything. How could she explain that to Rick?
“Come here.” Rick held out his right hand. “Do you want to try praying with me?”
Christy placed her hands in his. Rick bowed his head and closed his eyes. “Our almighty heavenly Father, we come to You asking for strength and direction in our relationship. Please grant us Your blessing and help us to work through all our problems. Amen.”
He lifted his head and looked at her like a little kid waiting for approval. It wasn’t anything at all like the way Todd prayed. Nothing about Rick was like Todd. She suddenly realized nothing ever would be. Rick was Rick. Did she really want to be his girlfriend?
“Do you want to go over to my house now? We can pretend all of this never happened and start over,” Rick said.
“Actually.” Christy forced herself to finish her sentence before she chickened out. “I think we should break up.”
Rick looked at her as if she had told a bad joke. “But we just prayed. And I told you I was sorry about the bracelet. Why would you want to break up?”
“Because I don’t think I’m ready to be your girlfriend. I don’t think I’m ready to be anybody’s girlfriend. I want to go back to being your friend. We got along so much better when we were friends.”
Rick ran his fingers through his hair and looked frantic. “I don’t get it. I’m trying to do everything right. I’ve never, ever tried this hard with any girl before. What am I doing wrong?”
“It’s not you. It’s me. You’ve said it a couple of times: I’m not ready to have a serious dating relationship. I’d like to slow everything down. It seems like you went from being my buddy to my boyfriend overnight, and that’s too fast for me. I think it would be better if we built up our relationship slowly.”
“We have been building it up slowly,” Rick said. “Or did you forget the nine months I waited to date you?”
“That’s exactly it though. I thought you were waiting to date me, not possess me. I’m not ready to go steady—with anybody. I need time for myself, and I want to spend time with my girlfriends without feeling that I have to ask your permission.”
Christy thought of other things she wanted to say, but Rick looked so wounded she decided to stop there. He obviously got the point. It surprised her how calm and peaceful she felt for someone who had just broken up with her boyfriend, especially since none of this had been planned or decided ahead of time.
“You know,” Rick said, drawing himself up to his full height and looking down on Christy, “I have a lot of pressures on me with starting college and all. I think we should slow things down and give each other a chance to catch up with everything in our lives. I don’t know when I’ll be back up here for the weekend. Thanksgiving, probably not before. I’ll give you a call then. Maybe we can get together and go somewhere just to talk. The time will give us a chance to reevaluate our relationship.”
Christy thought it was kind of funny to watch Rick take control of the situation, speaking smooth words like the closing lines of a movie. The way he restated everything, it sounded like he was the one breaking up with her.
“I’ll look forward to your call.”
Rick looked at her as though she were patronizing him.
“No really, I will! We still have a whole list of dates that you thought up, remember? And I’d like to go on them with you. We can take them one at a time instead of trying to do them all in one week.”
Christy tried to sound as light and positive as she could because her emotions were catching up with her prior burst of logic, and she felt a major storm brewing inside.
“I think you should have the bracelet back. I’m always going to be your friend, Rick. But I can’t be your girlfriend right now. Could you help me take it off?”
Rick picked the clasp with his thumb and held the bracelet in his fist. “I’m holding on to this,” he said tenderly, “because I still think it belongs on your wrist. One day I want to put it back there.”
His last statement felt like a clap of thunder, releasing the storm inside Christy. She lowered her head as tears fell on the pavement.
“Can I give my friend a hug?” Rick asked.
Christy nodded without looking up.
He wrapped his big arms around her and hugged her good-bye.
Monday morning Christy wanted to stay in bed and skip school. She hadn’t touched her homework all weekend, and she was emotionally exhausted. How could she convince Mom that she was sick and needed to stay home?
Her mother saw right through Christy’s scheme and gave her twenty minutes to get dressed and out the door.
Christy threw on a sweater and jeans and pulled back her hair in a braid. This was definitely not going to be one of her more glamorous days.
She slid through the first two classes, begging extended time on one of her homework assignments. In third period she wasn’t so fortunate.
“Today, class,” her literature teacher began, “we shall start our readings of the Victorian poems you’ve selected. Our first reader will be Christy Miller.”
“I left my book in my locker,” Christy answered, hoping she could get off the hook.
“That’s half a grade off. Take a hall pass to get your book, and let’s see
if you can manage a passing grade. While Christy gets her book, does anyone else have to retrieve a book from his or her locker?”
When Christy returned to class, another girl was reading her selection, tripping over the thees and thous.
Christy had barely found the right page when the teacher called on her to stand and read. She wished she would have at least looked the poem over before having to read it in front of the class—especially on a day when she looked and felt so yucky.
“ ‘Twice,’ by Christina Rossetti,” Christy began and then read,
I took my heart in my hand
(O my love, O my love),
I said: Let me fall or stand,
Let me live or die,
But this once hear me speak—
(O my love, O my love)—
Yet a woman’s words are weak;
You should speak, not I.
You took my heart in your hand
With a friendly smile,
With a critical eye you scanned,
Then set it down,
And said: It is still unripe,
Better wait a while;
Wait while the skylarks pipe,
Till the corn grows brown.
As you set it down it broke—
Broke, but I did not wince;
I smiled at the speech you spoke,
At your judgment that I heard:
But I have not often smiled
Since then, nor questioned since,
Nor cared for corn-flowers wild,
Nor sung with the singing bird.
I take my heart in my hand,
O my God, O my God,
My broken heart in my hand:
Thou hast seen, judge Thou.
My hope was written on sand,
O my God, O my God;
Now let Thy judgment stand—
Yea, judge me now.
This condemned of a man,
This marred one heedless day,
This heart take Thou to scan
Both within and without:
Refine with fire its gold,
Purge Thou its dross away—
Yea hold it in Thy hold,
Whence none can pluck it out.
I take my heart in my hand—
I shall not die, but live—
Before Thy face I stand;
I, for Thou callest such:
All that I have I bring,
All that I am I give,
Smile Thou and I shall sing,
But shall not question much.
At about the fourth line of her reading, Christy had realized how similar this poem was to all that she had been through with Todd and Rick during the last month. She had chosen the poem from the list because it was written by a Christina. But now she knew it wasn’t an accident. Katie would call this a God-thing.
With a heartfelt interest in the poem, Christy read with tearful intensity, as though she had practiced the reading all weekend. And in a way, maybe she had.
When she finished, her teacher stood up and, clasping her hands together, said, “Now that is an exceptional reading! Thank you, Christy, thank you!”
When the bell rang and the students herded through the hall, Katie caught up to Christy. “When did you have time to practice your reading? I thought you were with Rick all weekend.”
“I didn’t practice. I lived it.” As generally as possible, Christy gave Katie a quick rundown on the weekend.
“So you can be happy that I’m no longer going out with Rick since you never did like us being together.”
“That wasn’t it,” Katie protested. “I didn’t want him breaking your heart, that’s all. I’m glad you broke up with him instead of the other way around. I will admit that. I just didn’t want to see you hurt.”
“Then close your eyes,” Christy said, “because I’m hurt.”
After school she called her mom and asked if she could go to the mall to pick up her paycheck, since she hadn’t worked Saturday. Even though Christy did want her paycheck, she had another reason for going. She entered the mall and headed straight for the jewelry store.
“May I help you?” asked an older balding man behind the counter.
“I hope so,” Christy said. “A week or so ago, a guy named Rick Doyle came in here and traded in a small gold ID bracelet. He bought a silver one instead. I was wondering if, by any chance, you still have the gold bracelet.”
“Let me check.” The man disappeared into the back of the shop.
When he returned, he had a long, thin box in his hand. Opening up the velvet-lined case, he held the bracelet for her to see. “Is this it?”
Christy’s heart jumped, as if she’d spotted an old friend in a crowd. “Yes, that’s it. I can’t believe you still have it! May I have it back? I mean, I’d like to buy it back.”
“I’m sure we can arrange that,” the man said, checking the tag now attached to the chain. “That will be $145.50, plus tax.”
“A hundred and forty-five dollars? That can’t be right!”
“This is a valuable bracelet, miss.”
“You’re telling me,” she mumbled.
“Apparently, it was handmade. We’ve checked all our manufacturers’ catalogs, and this is not a standard issue. That doubles the price. Plus it’s 24-karat gold, not the usual 14-karat. It’s one of a kind.”
Christy tried to respond as graciously as possible. “I know it is, sir. You see, that is my bracelet. The guy I mentioned earlier stole it out of my purse and brought it to you without my knowing about it. He gave me a silver one to replace it, but it’s just not the same.”
“I see,” the man said. “And have you reported this theft to the proper authorities? We do have a procedure we can follow for this sort of thing if you haven’t already pressed charges.”
Christy had to admit that for one minute it was tempting to press charges against Rick. “No, I haven’t reported it, and I don’t think I want to. I’d simply like my bracelet back.”
“Did you bring in the silver one to exchange?”
“No, I don’t have that one.”
“How would you like to pay for this, then? Cash, check, or charge?” The man looked as if he knew she had none of them to offer.
“I’d like to pay cash, but I don’t have enough yet,” Christy explained.
“I see.” The man snapped the case shut on the bracelet.
“I work across the mall at the pet store, and I get paid every Saturday. Could I put some money down on the bracelet today and then every week pay what I can until it’s all paid for?” Christy tried to look as sincere as possible so the man would see she meant business.
“We could do a layaway for you. We would need 10 percent today, and you could continue to make payments until it’s paid off.”
“Okay,” Christy agreed, mentally calculating what 10 percent would be. “I’ll go cash my check and be right back.”
“Fine. I’ll hold the bracelet for you.”
The rest of the week dragged by slowly, silently. The phone didn’t ring, her parents asked few questions, and Christy spent each afternoon and evening buried in homework.
Her heart and mind continually battled over Rick.
Why did I ever break up with him? We could have worked it out. Every couple has problems. Why did I push him away? Am I just running from him again, or did I really do the right thing?
Of course I did the right thing! Our relationship was headed down the wrong road, and the farther I would have walked down that road with Rick, the longer and harder it would have been to get back.
But back to what? Todd?
This is all a cruel joke. Here I am, finally old enough to date, and the only two guys I ever cared about I’ve pushed right out of my life.
The biggest blow came on Wednesday when Renee, the cheerleader Rick had mentioned over the weekend, came marching up to Christy at lunch. She had two of her friends with her.
Tapping Christy on the shoulder, she said, “So, let’s see
your proof.”
“What are you talking about?” Christy asked.
“Yeah,” Katie jumped in to defend Christy.
“I want to see your proof. Rick said you two were going out, and I told him I’d believe it when I saw it. He told me to find you this week, and you’d have evidence.”
Katie interrupted, apparently trying to protect Christy. “It’s not any of your business who Christy is going out with.”
“You’re not going out with him, are you?” Renee taunted. “Rick has been after you for so long that he’s having hallucinations that he’s going out with you. Why don’t you tell Rick to wake up and start dating someone who’s more his style—like me.”
“Rick is free to date whoever he wants,” Christy said quietly.
“So you’re not going out with him, are you?” Renee turned to the girls with her. “See? I told you guys. I knew it all along.”
“Well, for your information—” Katie began.
“Katie.” Christy tried to stop her, but it was no use.
“Christy and Rick were together. The evidence was a very expensive bracelet he gave her on one of their many dates out to dinner at expensive restaurants.” Katie picked up steam. “But Christy gave it back to him and broke up with him because she saw right through that egotistical jerk!”
Oh Katie, I wish you would’ve kept your mouth shut.
Renee looked at Christy in disbelief. “You mean you had him? You had Rick Doyle in the palm of your hand, and you let him go?”
“It was a mutual decision,” Christy said softly.
A smug looked crossed Renee’s face. “You don’t have to explain it to me. You’ll get over him. And hey, if you’re going to wait until you’re sixteen to lose your virginity, it might as well be with a guy like Rick … even if he did dump you once he got what he wanted.”
Christy and Katie both shot up from the picnic table like twin rockets and faced Renee.
“I did not lose my virginity,” Christy said, her words flaming hot.
“Not that it’s any of your business,” Katie said.
Renee laughed at them. “You mean you didn’t do it with Rick? I can’t believe you’re such a loser! What is your problem, Christy?”
Christy Miller Collection, Vol 2 Page 38
