by Sandy Barker
Downstairs, amid exclamations of “Merry Christmas” which she half-heartedly returned, Steph ushered her to a place at the breakfast bar in front of a steaming mug of tea. A glance at Will, who winked at her from across the room, confirmed that he’d made it for her. She mouthed “thank you” and gratefully sipped the tea as the ruckus of family festivities buzzed about her. Nate seemed to be in his element as he cooked up a Christmas breakfast feast, aided by Will and Steph—his “sous chefs” he called them.
When Nate slid a pair of pancakes onto a plate and set it before her, Lucy wondered if she could choke them down. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this awful. Bridget, who was seated on her left, passed her the butter dish and a large glass bottle of maple syrup. “Uncle Nate’s pancakes are to die for,” she said right before putting a loaded fork into her mouth.
Maybe a plate of buttery, sickly sweet pancakes was exactly what Lucy needed. She smeared on a pat of butter and drizzled on some syrup. “You’ll need more than that,” said Bridget. “Here.” Bridget took the syrup bottle from her and poured until an enormous pool of syrup surrounded the pancakes.
“That’s definitely enough,” Lucy said, laughing as she took the bottle from Bridget, a momentary and a welcomed reprieve from her glum and queasy state. And Bridget was right—the pancakes were delicious. By the time they’d cleared up after breakfast and moved the festivities into the front room to exchange gifts, Lucy was feeling marginally better.
She’d brought some carefully chosen gifts for Jules’s family that she hoped showed off some of the best of Britain, and handed them out in turn, watching to see if she’d hit the mark. The tartan scarf for Will that she’d bought while on a trip to Edinburgh with her parents, turned out to be perfect, its hues of blue bringing out the colour of his eyes, and she smiled shyly as he kissed her cheek in thanks.
She’d brought a bottle of Eden Mill gin for Nate. “Oh, that’s gonna be great, sweetheart, thank you,” he said, after reading the label. And for Steph and Joe, she’d sprung for a set of Jo Malone home fragrances. She knew it was a little generic, but she loved Jo Malone and every now and then, she’d treat herself to a candle or a bottle of home fragrance to cheer herself up. She’d had to douse the flat in fragrance after Val’s cheesemaking experiment back in July, she remembered, chuckling to herself.
“This is for you, Lucy,” said Will, “from all of us.” Will placed a large gift box on her lap, which she opened to reveal a plush cloth bag. She lifted it from the box and gently pulled open the drawstring. She wouldn’t typically get excited about a handbag, but as she slid the Coach bag from its wrapping, she couldn’t help but coo in awe. Tan leather, a broad base narrowing elegantly to its double gold clasps, and two handles in perfect arches—simple, elegant, and oh so luxe.
“Thank you,” she said breathlessly. She looked from Will to Nate to Steph, who she just knew had been the one to choose it for her.
“You’re so welcome, honey,” said Steph, patting her knee. The moment was lovely, but it was immediately swallowed up by the noise and bustle around her, and as a mountain of wrapping paper amassed and family members leapt from their seats to give thankful hugs, Lucy started to feel more and more miserable. She was still a little hungover, things weren’t right between her and Jules, and now she had to distance herself from Will.
In that moment, Lucy just wanted to go home.
Somehow, she managed to keep it together, helping clear away the detritus of present unwrapping and playing a lengthy game of Trivial Pursuit in which she came second to Briony, who was, it turned out, something of a trivia savant.
She even put on that ridiculous snowsuit so she could build a snowman in the front garden, like she’d promised herself. Bridget joined her, and they chatted companionably about their favourite novels while they rolled three large balls of snow and hoisted them into place. After putting the finishing touches on their “snowperson”, as Bridget called it, Lucy pushed aside her sense of ill ease and smiled broadly for a photo.
But in the early afternoon, as Nate’s phone was passed around and she could hear Jules’s voice, Lucy realised with a jolt that she’d practically slept-walked through the day—Christmas Day—the white Christmas she’d been excited about for months. She’d also spent the morning steering clear of Will, not wanting to encourage him, or pursue whatever was budding between them—lovely, lovely Will, who’d done nothing wrong.
So, even though Lucy knew it would upset Jules that she didn’t want to talk to her, she didn’t care. What had started out as concern that something between her and Will could affect her friendship with Jules, had morphed into something else since their Christmas morning video call.
Lucy was furious with her BFF.
At times, she’d wondered if this day would ever come. Twenty-two years of friendship and the three of them had never really quarrelled—she didn’t count the sisterly bickering that Jules and Chloe seemed to relish. What surprised Lucy most, however, was that it was Jules who had tipped the scales. Surely, if anyone was going to enrage her at some point, it would be Chloe, but Chloe had been the empathetic one.
As Will got up from the sofa and left the room to talk to Jules, Steph caught Lucy’s eye. Lucy looked away quickly, suddenly riveted by the pilling of her jumper.
“Lucy, come with me,” said Steph from behind her. It was practically a whisper—not a command as such, but a warm summoning. Lucy stood and followed Steph into a little room off the foyer, a study. Lucy had known it was there but had never been inside. Steph closed the door behind them, then sat on the office chair next to the desk, swinging it around to face the centre of the room, and Lucy curled up in the comfy armchair opposite.
“This is my little sanctuary when I need to get away from … well, from all that.” She waved her hand in the direction of the front room.
“It’s nice. Quiet.”
Steph smiled. “Nate got his kitchen. I got this. Anyway, that’s not why I asked you to come in. Although, I should say, that you’re welcome to escape here any time you like—to read, or … whatever.” Lucy looked out the narrow floor-to-ceiling window and marvelled at how the sunlight made the snow clinging to the trees twinkle like fairy lights. She breathed out a long, slow breath.
“Is everything okay?” Steph asked. Lucy’s eyes met Steph’s, then immediately filled with tears. She brushed the tears away briskly, annoyed at their appearance. “You must be missing home. Did you get to talk to your folks this morning?” Lucy nodded. “It can be tricky, huh, the adventure of a Christmas on the other side of the world, but missing home too?”
Steph snatched a handful of tissues from the box on the desk and handed them to Lucy. “There’s something else though, isn’t there?”
It was just the prompt to break the floodgates and it all tumbled out, Lucy managing to shove aside the thought that this was Will’s mother. When she’d caught Steph up on everything that had happened, including how hurt she’d been to discover that Jules didn’t think she was good enough for Will, Lucy expelled a huge breath and sat back against the chair, her fingers playing with the soggy tissues. “Sorry to put such a dampener on Christmas Day.”
“Oh, honey, don’t you worry about that.” She gave Lucy a kind smile as Lucy dragged the wad of wet tissues under her nose. “Here,” Steph handed her a fresh batch.
“Thanks.”
“So, let’s break this down.” Those words and the way she said them were so like Jules—the engineer’s mind at work, sifting through the problem, making order from chaos. While Chloe was the planner amongst them, when things invariably went wrong on their travels, it was typically Jules who found the solution, and she’d be just as calm and systematic as Steph was now.
“You and Will have something between you …” Lucy felt the heat rise in her cheeks. It was easy enough to forget who she was talking to mid-rant, but now she was calmer, it was just embarrassing.
“Please don’t be embarrassed.” Oh, lord, that only
made it worse. “I see it—even in just a couple of days. He’s quite taken with you, Lucy, and Jackie was right—” She must have seen the horror in Lucy’s eyes and laughed. “No, no, not about the ‘grandbabies’ thing, sorry. About Will not bringing a girl home for Christmas for a long time. Actually, he hasn’t brought a girl home, period. Not in years.
“Look, I won’t go into details—he can tell you himself if he wants—but Will was in a serious relationship all through college and for several years after that. I’m pretty sure he thought he was going to marry her, but it ended badly—very badly.”
Lucy was overcome with compassion for Will, sorry that he’d had to endure such a devastating breakup. “Do you think that’s why Jules is cross with me, because she thinks I’ll hurt Will?”
“It could be, honey, but what you said about Jules not thinking you’re good enough for Will … I’m certain that’s not true. Jules loves you, Lucy, even if she did a poor job of showing it today.”
“I suppose,” Lucy replied, not wholly believing it.
“Hey, do you remember Peter, the guy Jules was dating around ten years ago?” Lucy nodded. Jules and Peter had been together for a couple of years when she caught him cheating with a co-worker. “So, you remember how it ended, then?” Another nod from Lucy. “Well, that was around the time I met Joe … and when it became obvious that Joe and I were serious, well, I think for both my children—even though they were young adults—that was when they had to accept that Nate and I … that our separation was final.
“And it isn’t lost on me, Lucy, that both their relationships imploded not long after. Will took the divorce hardest, I think, and when he turned to Tiffany, she wasn’t the support he needed. And Jules, well, you know what happened with her and Peter. Jules and Will became closer than ever after that. I’m just grateful that they had each other. The bond between them … it’s special.”
Lucy felt her empathy for Will shining onto Jules, her anger dampening. She knew that Jules was close to her brother, and that she’d steered clear of love and relationships ever since the breakup with Peter. But this additional insight into how devastated Jules had been about their parents’ divorce—how devasted she and Will had been—made it a lot clearer why Jules would react so viscerally today. Not only was Jules incredibly protective of Will, on some level, she must have been worried about Lucy coming between them.
“Jules never really talked to us about any of this,” said Lucy. “I mean, she may have confided in Chloe, but she kept a fairly close hand. Even when we were travelling together, she never brought it up.”
“That sounds familiar. I tend to keep things inside too.” Steph gave a little snort of self-derision and her mouth flattened into a tight smile.
“And then here you are, Lucy. Beautiful, kind, an open book … Well, no wonder Will has feelings for you. You are such a breath of fresh air. And let’s just say that I haven’t seen my son so lit up inside for a very long time.” At that, Lucy’s tears threatened to reappear.
“So, how about you set all this aside for now? I’m sure that you and Jules will be fine, and it would be terrible if this ruined Christmas for you.” She paused, then added, “What do you think?”
What did she think? “Honestly, I have no idea what’s happening with Will, except that, until this morning, it made me happy.”
“Then just go with that. Live this day.”
So, according to Steph, Lucy, who loved all things straightforward, predictable, and fair, was going to have to take a leap of faith.
But Jules could be pretty stubborn, and if she really was worried that Lucy would come between her and her brother, then what would that mean for their friendship? Lucy would never be able to live with herself if she and Jules fell out over Will.
Steph was watching her expectantly. “I’ll try,” Lucy said. Steph’s mouth pulled into a taut smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Perhaps she was as dubious as Lucy was.
*
“This is brilliant!” Lucy exclaimed. It was hard to know where to look. The entire town of Breckenridge was like one giant ball of Christmassy wonder and being there amongst it all, Lucy’s worries about Jules receded into the background.
Will laughed beside her. “I knew you’d love it,” he said into her ear. The warmth of his breath sent a wave of shivers over her—the good kind.
Late that afternoon, Lucy, Will, and the cousins had been kicked out of the cabin and sent into town. Steph had claimed it was to get “the kids” out of their hair while she and Jackie made Christmas dinner, but Lucy suspected she was nudging Lucy in Will’s direction.
“Hey, you guys,” called Bridget, “check this out!” She was standing next to a barricade surrounding a small patch of snow and a dozen snow sculptures, all Christmas themed.
“I’ve never seen anything quite like this,” said Lucy. She studied the sculptures, taking in the intricacies of each design. “Unbelievable,” she added to herself.
“Oh yeah?” Will leant in closer. “It’s a competition. I swear, every year they get more impressive.”
“How cool is that?” squealed Briony. “Look! Someone’s made Will Ferrell’s head, you know, from Elf.”
“I love that movie. We’re watching it tonight, right?” Bradley directed his question to the group.
“Duh. We watch it every year.” Apparently, Bridget was less of a fan.
“What’s your favourite, then? Christmas film, I mean?” Lucy asked her.
Bridget seemed to take the question seriously, as though she’d never been asked before.
“Little Women,” she replied after a considerable pause. Lucy should have guessed, as it had featured heavily in their book discussion earlier, but Bradley groaned. Regardless, Bridget forged ahead. “The Winona Ryder one. Although, I do like the newer one, with Saoirse Ronan, but I think Christian Bale was a better Teddy.” She’d clearly given this a lot of thought.
“It’s not even a Christmas movie!” Bradley had, too, apparently.
“It is, Brad,” Briony interjected.
“Nah-uh.”
“Just because you don’t like it. You think Die Hard is a Christmas movie!” Another point for Bridget.
“Die Hard is a Christmas movie!”
“Hey, guys?” Big Cousin Will waded into the fray. “They’re all Christmas movies, okay. Any movie that takes place at Christmas, or has a Christmas scene, or even remotely mentions Christmas is a Christmas movie.”
The three cousins gawped at him, then Lucy saw Briony’s mouth twitch. As the eldest sister, she’d probably heard this exact argument between her siblings a hundred times.
Bradley’s head dropped in defeat and Will rubbed it good-naturedly. “Two against one, hey bud?” Bradley nodded, a smile appearing. “Sometimes, it’s just easier to let them have their way,” Lucy heard him add quietly.
Lucy wasn’t quite sure what to make of Will’s advice to his young cousin and turned her attention back to the snow sculptures. “Which one’s your favourite?” Why did his voice in her ear have such an effect on her?
“Are we talking films or sculptures, now?”
“Either.”
“The Holiday for film, and that one for sculpture.” She pointed to a giant gingerbread house.
“Good choice … on the sculpture anyway.”
The cousins wandered around the snow sculpture display to the other side and Lucy could still hear their squabbling, but there was something in Will’s voice that rooted her to the spot.
“So, you’re not a fan of The Holiday?” It was no big deal if he wasn’t, she told herself. It was the ultimate chick flick after all. Will puffed his cheeks and blew out a long slow breath. What? What does that mean? she wondered. They were just talking about a film, right? “Will?”
“Nah, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” He lifted his head, his eyes panning across the town square, but Lucy didn’t want to let whatever it was lie.
“Will …” She tugged gently at his hand and h
e finally looked at her. She could see the machinations of thoughts processing behind his eyes.
“I do like that movie, although don’t tell Brad. We’re already outnumbered, and he’ll think I’m leaving him in Camp Die Hard all by himself.” He smiled conspiratorially and Lucy felt the breath she’d been holding escape. She returned the smile.
“It’s just that …” Uh-oh. There was a caveat. “I don’t know how to say this …” Will lifted his gloved hand and rubbed at the back of his neck, then bit his lip.
“Seriously, Will, just say it.”
“It’s just … I feel like a bit of a Miles, is all.”
Lucy’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Sorry, what? I’m not sure …” What in the world did he mean?
“You know, Miles? The Jack Black character?”
“Yes, I know who Miles is, but I don’t understand your meaning.”
“Look, you’re like, so beautiful, and you’re British and super interesting. You’re like Iris, and then there’s me, the dorky but—hopefully—loveable American guy—the Miles. And I know that you’re way out of my league, that you’re older and more sophisticated, but …”
He dropped his head and closed his eyes, and Lucy could see his embarrassment. She knew she should say something, but with so many thoughts whirling through her mind, where to start?
“Will, I … I …”
He was shaking his head now, clearly in self-derision. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just that you’ve seemed really distant all day, and I’ve been trying to figure out what I did wrong.”
“Will,” she said firmly. “Look at me.” He did, even though she could tell it was making him uncomfortable. “Do you think we could find somewhere to get a hot chocolate or something? To talk?”
He hesitated for a moment, then replied. “Sure.” He called out to the cousins, who made their way back to them. “We’re going to go grab a hot chocolate. Why don’t we meet you back here in, say, an hour?” He looked at Lucy, as if to confirm the timing, and she nodded.
