“Which way?” he probed, halting immediately, and the abruptness of their movements jolted her back to reality. Now, they stood directly before the shrubbery at the residential office. “What level do you stay on?”
“Level C,” she said quickly, and pulled away with a flushed face. “Room C22.”
This time, she led the way as he followed.
They passed the Level A Unit before taking the stairwell. Again, the tension was pulsating between them like wild madness. After skipping the next unit, they continued their ascent. When they reached the landing, she stopped on point. “You can go now. I’m home.”
He passed her a frown and peered at the closest apartment unit. “We’re hardly there yet. This is apartment C10.” A gleam shone in his eyes as he watched her. “Good try. But, you’re not getting rid of me yet, princess.”
Dazed, she stared at him.
Princess…
It’d been so long since she’d heard that endearment, and why did it sound so wonderful coming from his lips?
But, she couldn’t think of him like that!
“Suit yourself. I’m just trying to save you the leg work.” Shrugging, whirling around, she headed straight down the landing with him following just behind her. “But, do whatever you want.”
By the time she reached her apartment, she was convinced that there was no concept known as breathing. Behind her, he stood dangerously close, so close that she could smell him and feel his raw magnetism.
Swallowing hard, she placed her focus on escaping into the apartment as quickly as she could. The door key slipped from her hand and clattered to the pavement.
“I’ve got it.”
“No, I’ve got it,” she said stubbornly.
They knelt down simultaneously and found themselves at eye level. Their joined hands clutched the door key. But, neither of them relinquished hold.
A breeze swept in, caressing them with a subtle softness. Within nature’s sweet gesture, their erratic breathing could be heard, and against their will, their eyes held. For a brief second, they allowed themselves to feel freely, to embrace the forbidden emotions that claimed them.
She breathed him in.
He breathed in her.
The blaring car horn jolted them both back to reality.
They both reacted with a start.
“T---thank you,” she stammered quickly, coming to her feet. As she did, he followed suit but much slower. She whirled around fast and almost face-planted the door. Then, she twisted the lock fast to cover her shame and embarrassment. She nearly wept with relief when the door opened with a soft click. After stepping over the threshold, she faced him again, only to find him regarding her with a cool look. “I appreciate you bringing me home.”
“No problem.” Giving her a mock salute, he stepped back. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
She shut the door.
Still, she stood there, waiting and listening to his footsteps as they treaded away. A fast second later, she dashed to the apartment balcony, just in time to see him entering the Viper. The car fired up, but for a moment, it just sat there and idled. Then, it sped off before taxing to the next street.
She trailed back inside the apartment.
As she bypassed the lights, she flicked them off, leaving the apartment drenched in darkness except for the short hallway.
Ten minutes later, abed, she hugged the pillow close. Finally, she released the pent-up tears before whispering, “Dear God, what am I going to do?”
Chapter 24
The next six weeks passed in a flurry.
She threw herself into her work, working late most days, just so she didn’t have to deal with her problems outright. Outside of school, she worked along with her father and served as the church’s program director, all the while playing the role of a dutiful fiancée.
Staying true to his word, Christopher kept a careful distance, and they’d put up a cordial front whenever they were amongst others.
That was the part that bothered her, she realized hurt, that Monday evening at 5:45 pm, and straightened the flowers on the piano.
The fact that he acted like she meant nothing…
Isn’t that what she’d wanted though?
Deep down, she knew that answer.
Sighing, taking a step back, she stood and surveyed her work. Yet, her mental ramblings outweighed any thoughts about décor.
“Everything looks great, Sister Grace,” Joy Billingsley remarked, joining her beside the pulpit as she checked the microphone’s functioning. The 65 year old, salt-peppered hair churchgoer, while dedicated was also a busy body and gossiper. “I’m always impressed with how well Revival Week always is under your care. There’s no beating your programming choices each year. The Birmingham Mass Choir is here, not to mention Shane Williams.” To emphasize her point, the woman grasped her arm before giving it a satisfied squeeze, and then gave a word of praise. “Some of the best gospel greats are gracing our presence tonight. We have to give all of the glory to God, sister.”
She smiled in return. “Amen. We’re blessed this evening, Sister Billingsley. I hope that you enjoy the service.”
Quickly, she excused herself before scurrying from the stage. Richard sat with the other deacons on the side pew, and as she passed them, he gave her a fast wink. She smiled before meandering towards the seating area.
The church was packed, to no surprise. With the regular congregation and the neighboring churches, seating was clearly an issue.
Smiling politely, taking a seat beside the group of elderly ladies on the front pew, she smoothed the dress under her hips before settling close to the end of the pew. There was a scant amount of space left beside her, and it’d probably fit another body.
About five minutes before the services begun, she was conversing politely with one of the women. But, her curiosity won out when she saw Richard give a fast wave to someone at the back of the church. Then, he pointed the small vacant area next to her before giving the thumbs up signal.
Continuing to smile politely, maintaining conversation, she peered over her shoulder towards the back of the church. As the visitor fell into view, her heart sped up, and once more, she prayed that her expression didn’t betray her.
Silhouetted within the door frame, with bright rays of fall sunlight falling on him, Christopher stood poised beside the female ushers. To no surprise, they weren’t even able to disguise their appreciation.
Suited in a blue, casual dress shirt and tan khakis, he looked dapper. A pair of shades shielded eyes, but he slipped them off before trailing up the church aisle.
Heart beating fast, she turned and faced the front again. At that point, the choir came on stage and diverted everyone’s attention. Yet, her attention was fully on him as he took the space beside her. Rather than acknowledging his presence, she stared straight ahead. But, ignoring him was impossible, especially since they were a breath’s distance apart. Literally and figuratively, she was reeling from their close contact.
Her heart accelerated.
The air in her lungs constricted.
She found it difficult to breathe.
He tensed beside her, indicating his own unease. Like her, he was disturbed by their closeness. But, she didn’t dare look at him for fear of what she’d find. As hard as she fought to ignore him, the more her thoughts worked against it.
Thirty minutes in, she didn’t know if she’d survive. A moment later, when her father stepped behind the pulpit, she’d pondered if he’d soon be reading her eulogy.
“Brothers and sisters,” Pastor Jonas went on. “As you know, we’ve been searching for sponsors for our youth program as well as a place to conduct them.” His eyes fell in their direction. “Fortunately, one of our very own is the creative force behind this endeavor. That person is my talented and spirited daughter, Hayven.” The church began to applaud at this announcement. When he signaled for silence, the church members quieted at once. “She’ll be heading the program and
working closely with the sponsors. I’m delighted to say that we’ve partnered with the Stedman Outreach Center, and that’s where we’ll host the after-school and weekend activities. One of their co-directors is here, and he’s going to share a few things about their center. Brothers and sisters, give a warm welcome to Christopher Alexander.”
The congregation clapped, and she struggled to hide her surprise and dismay. He was the one that she’d be working closely with?!! Fighting to keep her expression impassive, she watched as he stepped behind the pulpit. As he did, the congregation fell silent again.
“Thank you, Pastor Jonas for inviting me here today and giving me the opportunity to share in this special day with you, plus allowing me the opportunity to share information about our programs at Stedman. We look forward to the partnership that we’re forming with Saint Joe’s Missionary Baptist Church,” Christopher replied and passed an irresistible smile at the crowd. Then, his expression and words carried a serious tone. “I have a special connection to Stedman’s, and it extends well past being a co-sponsor. During my troubled youth, when I needed something or needed a place to vent my frustrations, it was my go-to place. The staff there was eager and more than willing to accommodate me, even though, forgive my French, I was a bit of a hellion.” The scattered laughter erupted in the church before toning down again. “If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be standing here right now before you today. They showed me that I had real value…that my past didn’t define me….that I meant something…that while I thought I was nobody, I was somebody.” For a moment, his voice choked up, and he took a moment to compose himself. At the back of the church, someone gave a hearty, ‘amen brother’. “They showed me a better way. They saved my life. I’m eternally grateful for what they’ve done.”
The congregation clapped again, and it was obvious that they were moved by his impassioned speech.
She blinked fast at the tears.
Her heart broke for him.
Across the way, their gazes met, and it seemed that they were the only ones in the room. In an instance, they connected, and she felt every bit of his heartbreak.
Finally, realizing where they were, and that they were not alone, they tore their gazes apart.
“Stedman is a place that restores hope and gives you the opportunity to grow in ways that you can’t imagine. It fosters that confidence, self-pride, dignity, and leadership qualities that so much of our youth needs today.” As the crowd clapped again, he fell silent, giving time for it to settle down once more. Then, his gaze fell on her, and the strange emotions played in his eyes as they did. But, only she understood the silent discord mirrored in them, and then, finally, he masked it before looking away. “I’m looking forward to working alongside Ms. Grace and everyone here to provide an enriching and learning experience for the children here. Thank you very much.”
She clapped along with the rest of them, and she couldn’t help but stare as he stepped from behind the pulpit. When he made moves to depart the stage, her father stalled him and pulled him aside. They spoke quietly in conspiratorial whispers, and after several seconds, he gave a fast nod before stepping from the stage. As he settled beside her once more, the feeling of air depravation stole over her again.
The service passed by in a whir, thankfully.
But, still, three hours later, after the congregation and choirs had departed, her inner distress lingered. For now, he sat at the small corner table in the church kitchen, speaking alone with her father. Though she tried not to, she kept continuous watch of them, catching wind of their conversation every now and then. Her movements were slow as she dried the dinner saucer with the cloth.
She started when her mother spoke beside her.
“Isn’t it wonderful that we can finally get the program started?” her mother probed, stepping alongside her, and picked up a piece of silverware. “We’ve spent nearly three years trying to get it off the ground; and you’ve been working tirelessly trying to build an effective program. Thank God that he brought Christopher into our lives. He’s going to make an impact in ways that we probably can’t understand. Don’t you agree?”
How was she supposed to answer that!
“Of course, it’s way past time that our youth are served. We’re more than fortunate that Stedman is the platform to get it done.” The heat flamed her face as she looked at him again. “It seems that he and Dad are hitting it off pretty well.”
“You know your father,” her mother said, firming her lips. “If anything, he’s trying to feel Christopher out and see what kind of character he has.” She paused in thought. “You’ve been around him because of Richard. What kind of person does he strike you to be?”
She polished the saucer quickly before taking up another. Silently, she prayed that she didn’t reveal any hidden thoughts with her expression. “He seems like a decent person,” she shrugged and dried the dinnerware carefully. And he’s smart, witty, kind, enigmatic, handsome….Shaking the forbidden thoughts off, she polished the plate with more fervor. “He and Richard seem to be finding that they have a lot in common.”
“I like him. I don’t care what anybody else thinks. But, for the most part, so far, everyone’s attitude towards him seems to be the same as mine. A nice, subdued, and quiet gentleman is what he seems to be.”
Wrong.
He was a wild, hot firecracker.
More than once, she’d felt his burn.
Chasing away the scandalous thoughts, she focused on her mother’s words again.
“Well, I’m sure that some of the members here will enjoy Christopher’s close association with Saint Joe’s. Today, he had more than a fair share of admirers. So, don’t be surprised if you’re suddenly overwhelmed with volunteers,” her mother hinted with a laugh. “Forgive my loose tongue, dear heavens, but I thought that some of them were going to hit the floor when they first saw him. But, he is a very attractive man.”
“Mama!” she said, shocked, turning to look at her. “I can’t believe that you said that.”
“While I might be old, I’m not dead.” Her mother frowned. “Don’t act like you haven’t noticed. You may be engaged to Richard, but you’re not so blind that you can’t recognize an attractive man.” She stacked the plate in the drainer. “Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you’re so in love with Richard that you’re oblivious to the rest of the world around you.”
Her guilt compounded ten-fold.
Well, that actually wasn’t true. While she cared for Richard, she didn’t know if she was in love with him. It was a troubling secret that she harbored alone, and she was too ashamed to admit it to her mother or anyone else. But, he was a good companion, and they shared a lot of commonalities, she mulled, firming her lips. And her father had stressed that a true relationship was not based on the flesh or reckless attraction, but the inner qualities.
But, a niggling thought, deep down, had disagreed with her father’s assessment. It was a thought that she was careful to keep buried. As a pastor’s daughter, she’d been taught that choices should be driven by intellectual senses rather than emotional ones. It was a motto that she’d embraced her entire life. But, now, she wasn’t so sure if the argument was a valid one.
She started when the chairs scraped back from the table and both of them stood. As they exchanged handshakes, she kept her head downcast while polishing more dinnerware. When they stopped a few feet away from the counter, she nearly stopped breathing.
“Hayven, I think that it’ll be a good idea for us to meet with Christopher and discuss our options for the program’s kickoff,” Pastor Jonas suggested and eyed her over the counter. “We were thinking that this weekend will be a great time for the three of us to get together and construct a solid plan. Are you busy Saturday evening, or do you and Richard already have plans?”
Was it her imagination or did he flinch?
“I’m free. Richard’s been working on a big case, and he’s already cancelled our weekend plans,” she murmured, addressing her father, and was
careful not to look at Christopher. “Where do you want to meet and what time?”
“Taggert’s at 7:30.” Turning slightly to the left, her father looked at Christopher. “Does that sound like a feasible meeting place?”
He gave a curt nod. “Taggert’s is fine. I’ll meet the two of you there.”
“One more thing, Christopher. I know its short notice, but I need a favor,” Pastor Jonas uttered quickly. “Mildred and I are going to swing by and pay our condolences to a grieving family nearby. Would you mind dropping Hayven off at her apartment?”
“Of course, I don’t mind,” he said conversationally, passing a fast glance in her direction. “As a matter of fact, I’m going in that very direction.”
What?!!!
The dish slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor. Mumbling a fast apology, face turning hot, she stooped down to retrieve the broken pieces only to be shushed away by her mother.
“Let me get that,” Mildred ordered sharply, and pushed her gently aside. “You’re going to get cut if you’re not careful.”
So, she just stood there, watching as her mother carefully picked up the bigger broken pieces. Across the counter, her father and Christopher watched their antics, and the embarrassment spread through her from head to feet. She felt like she was on a theatrical stage and caught midway a performance. Suddenly, she needed to do something to draw the attention away.
“Mama, I can get that up---”
“No. I’ll take care of it.” Pursing her lips, her mother grabbed the broom and dust pan. With quick, sharp strokes, she began sweeping the glass and debris from the floor. “You and Christopher go ahead and leave. You know that you have work tomorrow, and it’s already late.”
“10:30?” she scoffed, arching a brow. “I’d hardly consider that to be a late hour. My kids at school have later bed times than that, and I’m certainly not a child.”
“Don’t think that you’re big enough to sass, sweetie,” Mildred murmured before patting her cheek affectionately. “Now, go before I take this broom to your hide.”
Reign on Me Page 29
