by Kate Swain
I felt my heart stop. Did she mean that? Did she mean that, if I took her up there, there was a chance that she… that I…?
She put her hands on my forearms, drew me to her and kissed me. It was a strong kiss, a kiss filled with longing. I felt my whole body catch fire. My lips clung to hers, desperate and passionate. I could taste her mouth, feel her hair on my cheek.
“Maddy,” I murmured, pushing back. “I don’t know if we…”
I didn’t know what I was going to say. Longing to do the right thing warred with years of longing for Maddy. I stared down into her eyes, feeling tortured. As I cleared my throat, trying to put my feelings into words, I heard a car.
“That’s Becca,” Maddy said. Her voice was flat.
“It is?” I felt my heart stop. I had just this moment, just a few more seconds, before she disappeared. I had to take my chance.
I bent down and pressed my tongue between her lips.
She stared up at me with surprise. Then, before I knew what was happening, she wrapped her arms around me and pressed her mouth to mine. I felt my cock throb and my stomach tighten.
“Maddy,” I whispered.
She looked up at me, her hand gently stroking my face. Then she turned away and walked across the parking lot to where a red Mazda waited for her.
I lifted my hand to wave. She nodded to me, her blue eyes holding mine. Then she turned away, opened the door, and got into the passenger seat.
I stood and watched the car disappear.
11
Maddy
I stood in the bedroom, looking into the darkness of the spare bathroom attached to it. My brain was in a haze, but it wasn’t the alcohol. I asked Becca to drop me off a block away from Adam’s house so I could walk a little. The cold wind and fresh air helped to clear my head. Except for Mark.
“I can’t believe what happened.”
I went and sat down on the bed. It was unbelievable how aroused and moved I felt. I was relieved Adam was in bed already. I wanted time to think about what happened, without having to consider him or his reaction.
He had no right to tell me who I can be with.
I felt my heart twitch with a mix of defiance and sorrow. I loved Adam, and I didn’t want to upset him in any way. But I was twenty-four, and I deserved a chance to decide my life and who I was going to be with.
“And I definitely want to be with Mark.”
I shut my eyes, recalling how it had felt to have his lips on mine. He kissed so beautifully that I could not describe it. Words didn’t exist to explain how I felt when his lips touched mine. I smiled to myself.
“Come on, Maddy. Get to bed.”
I made myself stand up, taking off my jacket. It was late, and if I wanted to make plans for the studio. I really needed sleep. I had to sign the lease soon, if I was going to take it.
“Of course, I’m taking it.”
I shed my clothes, leaving them in a heap by the bathroom door. Then, I showered quickly, made my way across the cold room, and slithered into bed.
Under the warm covers, I found myself floating in a haze of daydreams. Mark filled my mind. I imagined him here beside me, his body pressed to mine.
He looked down at me, blue eyes flashing as he smiled. His body was naked, and I could see, instead of just feeling, how hard his chest was. His body rippled with muscles. I felt the smoothness of it under my hands. He grinned and kissed me, pushing me down against the pillows.
His waist was tight and toned and my legs wrapped around him. As he pushed his hips to mine, I gasped, feeling the hardness of his large cock press against my clit. He smiled and kissed me, letting his organ play along the opening to my body, sliding in my wetness, giving me pure pleasure.
I shut my eyes, arms wrapped around him and holding him close as he kissed me. His lips explored mine, moving lower. I gasped as he kissed my neck, then his teeth found my nipple. I felt my eyes fly open as he nibbled me, playing with the small hard node with his tongue.
I felt flares of longing shoot from my chest to my clit. I was aching there, my body wet and ready. He knelt between my thighs, his cock full and ready. As I cried out, he pushed it inside me.
My body dissolved in a flare of longing as he moved in me, slowly at first, then harder. He filled me with each thrust, rubbing on all the places in my body that made me ache with longing.
I could feel flares of pleasure running from my clit and deep inside me all the way through me to my toes to my belly to my brain. I started to gasp and shake, my body unable to contain the intensity of what I felt.
I heard my alarm. My eyes flashed open. I was in bed, alone, the blankets rumpled.
“Damn it.”
I swore, feeling where my hand lay, close to my opening. I could feel how wet I was. I bit my lip in frustration.
Then I smiled.
“What a wonderful dream.”
Memories of the previous night flooded back like a movie. We had kissed, and so wonderfully. He had been as full of longing as I was.
I wondered if he had changed this morning. He didn’t seem offhand or like he was simply interested in my body. When we talked, he’d been kind and attentive.
“Maybe he has changed,” I allowed.
I smiled, recalling the look in those blue eyes. My body tingled. I recalled my dream.
Come on. Go and cool off, I told myself amusedly.
I really ought to calm down before I saw Adam at breakfast.
I went into the shower, loving the feeling of hot water running down my body. I was aroused, and thoughts of Mark made my clit throb as I washed myself, imagining him in the shower with me.
When I went down to the kitchen, my hair was freshly-washed and I was dressed in jeans and sweater. I found Adam there.
“Morning, sis,” he greeted me. It was Sunday, and he was cooking crepes. I watched as he flipped one in the pan, a neat trick I had never been able to master. He caught it deftly, grinning in my direction.
“Hi,” I said. I sat down at the table. “Can I help?”
“Nope, I got it, thanks.” He smiled. “Where were you last night?” he asked with a frown.
“Out having a bit of a celebration,” I said, reluctant to tell him with whom. I didn’t know if Mark would tell him or not at work tomorrow, but if he did, then that was up to him and I wasn’t about to go first.
“Celebration?” he smiled, seeming happy. “What for?”
“I found my dance studio.”
“Great,” he said. Then he asked, “Can you tell me where?”
I nodded. I anticipated some sort of trouble when he found out where it was. I drew a deep breath. “In the old industrial zone.”
“Sis?” he spilled the crepe on the paper-towel on a plate, frowning. “That’s not safe.”
“Adam,” I said with a hint of impatience. “It’s fine. The building has an alarm— or, it had one, and I have plans for video monitors and…”
“Sis?” Adam poured crepe-mix into the pan and looked at me worried. “I know this is your future, but please reconsider, at least until you’ve let me check the security?”
I felt my patience wearing thin. “Please, Adam,” I said carefully. “I have to sign the lease soon, or I risk losing the place. I want to sign it today. And I really don’t want to have to wait until you decide that it’s safe.” I knew that he wouldn’t approve if he saw the neighborhood.
“Sis, I don’t like it.” He said plainly, flipping the pancake. “It’s not a nice neighborhood.” He faced me squarely, his face set in firm lines.
“No,” I said, feeling a cold anger fill me. “It isn’t. It’s about a block from where we grew up.”
He looked at me in shock. I could have slapped him, I reckoned, and he wouldn’t have been more surprised. He raised an eyebrow. “Maddy, I’ve worked hard so that we didn’t have to get stuck in a place like that. I am not having you going back there and putting yourself in danger.”
“What? And I didn’t work to get out of there?�
�� I challenged. I was hurt. He hadn’t helped me out of poverty—dancing had done that. And four years of my life spent studying. Yes, he’d done a lot to help both of us, but he had no right to talk like he’d done everything himself.
“Maddy… shh,” he said, gesturing with a hand. His face was pained. I felt my self-control fray.
“I am not a child,” I said tightly. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk to me like one.” I was angry now, really angry. How dare he shush me, as if what I was saying was of no consequence, just a noise annoying him?
“Sis…” he protested lightly.
“No,” I snapped. “You might not have seen me grow up. I left here at eighteen. I didn’t stay eighteen. Until you realize that I’m not a baby, I will refrain from discussing things with you.”
“Maddy…” Adam dropped the spatula, looking hurt. I stood up.
“I’m going out,” I said stiffly.
“Sis, wait…”
I turned around in the kitchen doorway. I couldn’t believe how little he took me seriously! It was really a pity, I thought sadly, that he didn’t see me grow up. He’d gotten way to accustomed to the idea of himself as my protector and big brother.
“Adam, you need to think about who I am today, not who I was ten years ago, and your role in my life,” I said, trying to be fair. “Until you come to terms with the fact that I am not your child, and you are not my parent, our relationship will be strained.”
I turned walked out of the kitchen and then the front door.
When I got out of the house, I realized I was shaking. Anger and weariness of the constraints on my life ganged up, making me feel exhausted. I leaned on my truck, heart pounding.
“How dare he?”
I knew that Adam didn’t mean to sabotage me, but this studio was my life! And he was busy trying to control me. He had no right to cage me in a prison of his concerns. My life was mine, not his to safeguard and shape into what he wanted.
“Damn it,” I swore. “It’s bad enough not having parents. It’s even worse having all the bad habits of parental authority in your life—and from my own brother!”
I wanted to laugh, that was so poignant. Here I was, twenty-four, with no real idea of what it felt like to have a father and mother who would support and encourage me, nurturing my future. Instead, I had an overprotective big brother who seemed to think it was his role in life to curtail and control my dreams to fit his idea of a safe world.
“Damn him.”
I realized that my car was still at the Brand’s shop. Without it, I was stuck here. Frustrated, I called Becca.
“Hi?” I said, relieved that she’d replied.
“Maddy! What’s up? Want to have breakfast?”
“Yeah,” I said. It was good just hearing her voice, and my spirits lifted immediately. “That would be great, thanks. And maybe we could fetch my pickup from town?”
“Sure.” She sounded pleased. “Let’s go. I’ll pick you up in a bit.”
I waited in the driveway for her to arrive. The moment I saw her red car, I felt better. I got into the passenger seat, grinning with relief. I hoped that she wouldn’t pick up on my frustration. I didn’t want to have to discuss it with anyone. I felt disloyal enough to Adam just feeling it.
“Hey,” Becca greeted me cheerfully. “You look good. Let’s go to Miller’s.”
“Perfect,” I said. “I’m starving.”
We had breakfast and I managed to assure her that I would sign the lease on Monday. I really wanted to secure the place and Becca, having seen how excited I was about it, wanted to ensure that I could get it, too.
“I’ll try and stall any clients who ask about it. I want you there.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Becca.” I felt the pain in my heart subside a bit. “You have no idea how helpful your support is.”
“Thanks, Maddy.” She grinned and took my hands in hers. “You’re my best friend.”
I swallowed hard and blinked. It was good to feel supported by someone at least.
Mark supports you.
As I drove through town with Becca, my mind clearing, my thoughts returned to my dream. And then to the previous day. I recalled how kind Mark had been, how optimistic. He had truly embraced my vision, without questioning or belittling.
“I know he’d help,” I said to myself out loud.
Without being consciously aware that I’d decided it, I watched as the road bent towards Brand’s.
“What’s that?” Becca asked me and she drove.
“Nothing…” I said lightly. “I was daydreaming.”
“Oh, good.” She raised an eyebrow, as if she knew the content of my daydreams. “Well, happy dreaming. And here we are,” she added, gesturing at the parking lot, where my pickup was parked.
“Thanks,” I said, hopping out. “See you later?”
“I hope so,” she nodded. “Maybe we can meet up this afternoon, for coffee?”
“I’d like that,” I agreed, and shut the door, waving as she drove out of sight.
When she’d gone, I looked at the shop. I thought I saw a motion in the window of the apartment on the second floor of the shop. It confused me. Surely everyone was away? It was Sunday, after all.
I looked up there again, and there was movement. Somebody was in there and whoever it was, they drew back a curtain. With my heart racing, I ran to the steps, climbed half a dozen, then yelled, “Hey! You’re not supposed to be up there!”
It was only when I heard the door unbolt that I realized how dangerous all of this was. Why didn’t I call the cops? Dumb. I was alone and unarmed and if there was a robber in there, all he’d have to do was push me and I’d fall down the stairs. Or maybe even something worse…
I was frozen where I stood, unable to make myself move to run away, unable to scream, or move, when the door opened.
“Maddy?”
“Mark?”
He was wearing the same clothes as he had on yesterday. He looked tired. His hair was a bit of a mess. He was cute in the morning.
When he smiled, I felt my heart lift.
“Mark,” I said with certainty this time.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, grinning. “It’s Sunday. Can I help you?”
I nodded. An idea occurred to me. “Mark,” I said slowly. “Maybe you could come with me to the studio? I need a neutral opinion.”
He nodded in a serious manner, making his handsome face even more rugged. I felt my cheeks lift in a grin. This was turning out to be a good day after all.
12
Mark
I stared at Maddy. She was dressed in a green sweater, her hair loose and wild around her shoulders, cheeks wind-flushed. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
“Maddy.” I found my voice at last, croaky and strained and odd-sounding. “Sure.”
She smiled at me with a quirky grin that made my body light up strongly. “Great.”
“Have you had something for breakfast?” I asked, as we went down the stairs to her truck, which was waiting by the entrance. “I mean…” My brain was still fuddled from yesterday. I’d been too drunk to drive home safely, so I’d gone to the flat, and fallen asleep. I didn’t know how she managed to get back here, and was about to ask her when she opened the door for me.
“Becca brought me over to fetch this,” she patted the steering-wheel. “And we chatted a bit about the studio. Which reminds me. If I asked you for an honest opinion, would you give it?”
“Anytime.”
She grinned at me and I sat down in the seat beside her. It felt slightly unreal. We drove together to the old industrial area, which wasn’t too far away. The streets became more deserted, the buildings shabbier. I felt an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. I glanced over at Maddy, who was looking determinedly at the street.
“Is it nearby?” I asked. My heart was sinking. It was not a good neighborhood. Abused and unused buildings and colorful graffiti marked the blocks of the area.
She turned left and then right. “Here it is.”
I stared as a four-story building came into view. The windows were still intact. Trees grew in the garden. The paint was relatively new. I was impressed.
“It’s not too bad,” I conceded.
“Hurray!” she smiled, and I felt my heart soar. I hoped I did not get her hopes up for my approval.
“Well,” I said, as she unlocked the doors, “Let’s go and have a look.”
“Thanks,” she said. We got out, and I joined her as we walked up to the iron fence that ringed the front yard of the building.
“What is it you want me to do, exactly?” I asked, as she punched a code into the security pad, reading it from a piece of paper form Becca. She gave me a wide-eyed look.
“I want you to give your honest opinion about how safe it is here.”
“Oh.” I nodded. That didn’t seem too hard. And, as it happened, I liked the building. The front of the building seemed relatively secure, with a fence topped with razor-wire and the key-coded entrance.
“Here we are,” she said as the gate clicked and she pushed it open.
I followed her up the white pebbled pathway.
We went through a door on the right, and she showed me into a big room that smelled of varnish and paint. Our steps echoed in the empty space.
“This is it,” she said. “The studio.”
“Wow.” I looked around. The place was big. I could see windows along one side, a mirror on the front wall. It was a bright, airy space and I couldn’t help imagining kids dancing around here.
“This is where the changing-room is,” she gestured at a small room to the left. “And there’s the mirror. Lots of windows,” she added, gesturing at the walls.
“Yeah,” I nodded. Of everything I saw, that was the part that bothered me. The windows were too big, and none of them were barred. That would not be a problem, I thought, in a safe neighborhood. But in this one? I was concerned. The windows mostly opened into the garden, but there was no fence with razor-wire along the sides of the building.
I cleared my throat, about to say something. Then, in that moment, I lost my words. Maddy opened her arms, doing a pirouette. I stared.
