I really looked at Theo. When did it happen? Did I not even notice the boy I loved at school wasn’t the guy before me? We used to tease and laugh, call bullshite on superficial royal crap. One reason I fell for him was he seemed to see through it.
Now I couldn’t even recall the last time we were like that—when we laughed or teased each other. This role had changed him. Understandably, but still, I longed for the boy who sat in the pub with his friends taking the piss they dealt out. He was serious all the time now, acting far older than his age. No longer a prince, but a future king.
“Come on. The media is waiting for us.” He took my hand, directing us to where the press waited, the sound of their cameras and flashes leaking through the door.
My head lifted, looking ahead.
My lungs wedged against my ribs, a gasp sticking in my throat.
Lennox stood near the door, his arms clasped low in front of him, eyes straight ahead, his shoulders back. He wore a tux, trying to mingle as another guest, but nothing about him blended into the background. He stood out, even his presence took over the space, demanding eyes on him, commanding attention. The tux fit his body like a glove, blooming warmth down my legs, pooling in my belly.
Now that I fully acknowledged my feelings, I could no longer hide my reaction. My emotions simmered on the surface, making it hard for me to keep up the façade—to pretend he barely existed.
His eyes slid to me, then went back forward, only a nerve in his jaw displayed any emotion. “Your Highness.” He bowed his head, addressing Theo. It was clear their relationship had changed, something not spoken or acknowledged, but intuition dictated.
Me.
“I heard you gave Dalton your notice today.”
I couldn’t stop my head from jerking up, feeling like a bullet went through my chest.
“What?” I blurted out. He had mentioned it, but I didn’t think he meant now. Agitation burned up and down my esophagus, making me lose all sense of propriety. “No! You can’t leave me.”
Lennox’s eyes only bounced to me for a moment, but I could feel the depth of them, reaching inside and tugging out my guts.
“I must, my lady,” he replied formally, staring straight ahead. “I have to deal with some family issues.”
Family? They were all dead. My lids lowered on him, but he didn’t look at me.
“We’ll miss you, mate.” Theo’s tone completely lightened as he patted his arm. “But I understand.”
Lennox’s face tightened, his head dropping in acknowledgment.
“You should enjoy yourself tonight, then. Relax. Dalton can watch over us. Nothing will happen here.”
“I can’t do that, sir,” Lennox responded sternly. “She is still my charge until my final day.”
Theo shrugged, his mood totally altered, his hand grabbing mine as he smiled. “Ready, darling? The media awaits.”
Out of the side of my eye, I watched Lennox as we passed. Not one bit of emotion showed on his features. Blank. As if walking away from me was a simple decision, while I shrieked on the inside, gulping back the tears wanting to flood out of me. Agony tore into my lungs as I held the hand of the wrong man.
“Spencer! Spencer!” My name rang out in unrelenting waves, batting against me as cameras clicked and flashed in my face. “How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Have you visited any of the victims still in the hospital? How do you feel about the King ignoring the attack and still doing business with that leader? Are you taking anything? You look beautiful! How are you coping? Are you seeing a therapist?” The questions kept coming, pounding into me until I was dull and numb. I kept a smile on my face as I disappeared into myself, everything becoming distant, a hum in my ears.
“Why don’t we take it easy on her tonight?” Theo smiled, chiding the group in a friendly way.
“I’m fine. Thank you.” I spoke, my head held high. “Everyone in the royal family has been so attentive in helping me through this.” I smiled over at my date. “Especially Theo. Thank you all for your concern, but the focus and help should go to the victims still recovering and the families who lost someone. Not me.”
Theo beamed next to me, pulling me tighter into him.
“Isn’t she amazing?” He shook his head in awe. “She should be in bed recovering from the attack, but here she is.” He kissed my hand, the cameras clicking loudly, capturing the moment. “Now, we just want to put it all in the past and focus on our future together. And of course, my father’s birthday.” He tugged me to start walking, waving at them as we exited the room, walking into the grand ballroom, the rest of the palace off limits to the media.
“That was perfect.” Theo gushed the moment we stepped through the doors. Attendants bowed at us, but Theo didn’t even see them. “Strong. Resilient. Everything this country respects in a person and wants from their royal family, you showed in spades.” Theo squeezed my hand. “There will not be a person who won’t absolutely adore you after this.”
His sentiment brewed in my chest. I didn’t feel strong or resilient. I was a crumbling house on sand, and the more people kept claiming the other, the more I felt like a fraud.
His words kept playing over in my head, twisting the seed that had been growing in my stomach all day.
“Why do you care if they adore me?” I turned to him, knowing whatever they felt about me now would change when I walked out that door and away from the Prince of Great Victoria, deciding against one of the most eligible bachelors in the world, who any girl in her right mind would give up everything for. “You do remember the conversation this morning?”
Annoyance flashed over his face. “Of course I do.”
“I’m here for you tonight, but I can’t—”
“Don’t decide anything until after tonight. You might feel different.” He stepped away, already waving to someone. “There’s Grannie. She hates when I don’t greet her right away.”
Following his attention, my eyes landed on the person standing next to the dowager queen.
Ice punctured my lungs, and I grew unsteady on my feet. Lord William stood next to her, his eyes on me, smugness twitching his mouth as he spoke to her.
With everything that had happened, I completely forgot about my meeting with him. About his threat. He couldn’t possibly still hold me to it. I had been in an ambulance heading to the hospital.
“Grannie.”
“Theodore, you are late,” she sniped, but an approving smile turned up her mouth. “You look handsome. So much like your father.”
“You look stunning as usual, Grandmother.” Theo leaned in, air kissing both her cheeks, disregarding her prickly demeanor.
“Your Grace.” I curtsied, trying to ignore Lord William’s gaze centered on me.
“Spencer.” She said my name like it sat wrong on her tongue. “You are still here.”
“Grandmother,” Theo warned.
She waved him off. She leaned in, allowing me to air kiss her cheeks. “You know I’m teasing.”
William snorted into his glass, drinking down a swig.
We all knew she wasn’t, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I wouldn’t be for much longer—that she won.
“I am. Like a tick in your skin.”
Her eyebrow popped at my response, but she pretended she either didn’t hear or understand what I said.
“What a horrid affair. I’m surprised you are even here.”
“I’m fine. Thank you.” The words were polite, but my tone wasn’t. I had no filter, no fucks left to give.
“She’s made of tough stuff.” Theo’s arm went around me. “She has what it takes, Grannie. Better get used to the idea.”
My gaze went to Theo, wondering what the hell he was talking about after what I said this morning. We were only together for show tonight, but he understood we had broken up, right?
“Highness?” Theo’s assistant, I still couldn’t recall his name, tapped him on the shoulder. “The King and Queen would like to speak with you
for a moment. About the…thing,” he said nervously.
“Yes.” Theo moved instantly. “I need to go speak with them.”
“Don’t worry about your girl.” Lord William’s hand clamped down on my arm, nodding his goodbye to Anne, moving us away. “I will watch over her. I’m sure she is about to drop to her knees for a drink.”
Theo eyed him for a moment, then nodded, strolling quickly away.
I wanted to yell for him to come back, but I kept my mouth shut, knowing somewhere in this room, Lennox was watching me.
“How easily he leaves the bunny in the wolf’s den,” Lord William whispered in my ear.
I yanked my arm away from him, glowering at him. He was dressed in a tux, his thinning white hair brushed back, his face a little sweaty and paler than normal.
“You better hop out then. Wolves get hungry this time of night.” I popped up an eyebrow in challenge.
His gaze went over me, letting out a laugh.
“There is a lot more spunk to you than your appearance lets on.” He licked his lips as he patted his damp forehead with a handkerchief and stuffed it back in his jacket pocket. The room was warm with tons of bodies but didn’t feel stuffy to me. “Which I like. Need to syphon that energy.”
“You are vile.”
“You’ve said that before.” He curled his fingers at a server carrying champagne around the room. Setting his empty glass down, he took two more, handing one to me. “Doesn’t take away the fact you need me.”
“I don’t need anything from you.”
“You’re ready to let your family live in squalor? Lose everything? Reputation? Your family will never be able to work in this country again. They’ll be shamed and tossed out of any respectable circle. You’d do that to your baby sister just to spite me?”
My hand clamped down on the glass.
“I’m willing to be slightly lenient about you missing our meeting.” He took a drink, looking around, acting like the words being spoken between us were casual and polite. “But only if you show me how willing you are to protect your family.”
“You are disgusting,” I spat.
“Don’t push me, Spencer.” His eyes flamed. “I think I’m being very generous and patient. I have the means to destroy you. Your spirit is amusing for only so long. If you aren’t in my office the day after tomorrow…” The threat was in everything he said and didn’t say. He drew out the cloth again, dabbing at his head. “Why do they insist on having it so bloody hot in here,” he muttered, his gaze coming back to me. “It’s on you, my girl…if you want to keep your family from ruin. And speaking of…”
“Spencer!” My sister’s voice was like a fish hook, twisting in my chest and twirling me to the tiny girl running for me. Seeing her, emotion instantly burst out my throat in a quiet cry. Her arms wrapped around me. I squeezed her tight, not caring about the pain.
“Olivia.” I didn’t care who was watching or seeing a tear slide down my cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you more.” She pulled back, her huge eyes looking at me. “When are you coming home?”
Knife to the gut.
Sooner than you think, I thought, if we still have a home left.
“Spencer.” My parents rushed to me. For once, neither of them kept in the lines, showing affection in their hugs, their expressions full of love and anguish.
“We were beside ourselves.” Dad’s voice wobbled. “We called and called; no one would let us speak with you.”
“We knew you’d be properly looked after. Theo was so kind. He loves you so much.” Mom hugged me again before she stepped back, brushing at her dress, her face going into her reserved mask.
Aunt Lauren and Uncle Fredrick were right behind. Lauren took me into a hug, but my uncle’s attention went past me, glaring.
Jerking my head around, I saw Lord William leaning against a table. He lifted his drink, smirking at both Fredrick and me.
“Freddy!” Aunt Lauren smacked his chest, flicking her head in my direction.
“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “We are so glad you are all right. You gave us a fright, my dear girl.” In his awkwardness, I could hear genuineness there, which shocked me.
“Where’s Landen?” I peered around, my heart pleading to see my cousin. I ached, missing him more than I could let myself think about.
“I’m sorry, he’s still in military camp.” Aunt Lauren patted my hand. “He’s hoping to be home for Christmas Eve.”
I swallowed back the sadness. Life at the palace had weeks passing in a blink, but seeing my family, Olivia’s hand holding my mine, the depths to which I missed them, especially Landen and Mina, swallowed me whole.
“How’s he doing?”
“We only speak to him every few weeks, but he’s doing great.” Lauren tried to smile, but it wobbled with falseness. “He really likes it.”
Landen was in hell. We all knew that…and I wasn’t there for him.
“We’re just so proud of both of you.” Aunt Lauren pushed on. “My boy becoming a soldier and you…a future queen. I know there have been some ups and downs, but that’s all changing.” She pressed her hands into her fancy new dress at her breastbone. “The Sutton name is the buzz of our town. Of the world! I couldn’t be prouder of this family.”
“Me, either.” My father squeezed my arm, his touch injecting my system with a flood of guilt and grief, all their hopes and dreams pinning me down.
“Me too!” Olivia squealed as my mother dabbed secretly at her eyes.
My uncle’s gaze burrowed into me.
Brick after brick stacked on my shoulders, my lungs fluttering with weight.
If I walked away from Theo or ignored Lord William, every brick would come tumbling down. My family would lose everything.
Suddenly I couldn’t breathe, my throat closing in on itself. The room spun, heating to the point my skin was sticky with perspiration.
“Excuse me,” I croaked, letting my sister’s hand go.
“Spencer?” My mom called after me, but I didn’t stop, rushing out of the room like it was crumbling down on me.
Stealing all the air and my freedom.
Chapter 6
“Spencer.” A hand caught my arm near the exit, his rough voice lurching more anxiety through me. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
He was the last thing I could deal with right now.
“Let go.” Whirling back to Lennox, I tugged at his hold, his nearness inflicting need, my heart speeding up.
“I saw you with Lord William. What did he say to you?” He loomed over me, his gaze tracking mine for an answer. Protective. Concerned.
“Nothing,” I gritted.
“Did he threaten you again?”
“I can take care of myself.”
“What did he say to you?” He growled.
My gaze shot back to the man in question, his glossy blue eyes were on us, a slow grin growing as he watched us. His delight at what he was witnessing was obvious. And what was worse? He was the closest to the truth out of everyone.
“Let me go. Please. Don’t give him more fuel.” Panic shook my muscles. I needed to get out of this room, away from two men who could take my home and the one who could take my heart.
Lennox looked down at his hand, holding me with authority. A claim to do so. Familiarity a guard should not have.
He dropped his hand, stepping back.
“Stay away from me,” I croaked out, rushing out of the ballroom, curving around corners, finding an unoccupied bathroom in the far east wing away from most of the activity.
Gripping the counter, I slipped out of my aching heels and leaned into the vanity, sucking in air. The cage around me was closing in. I couldn’t give into Lord William. The thought gurgled bile and disgust in my stomach. But if I went to Theo, he’d want to help. How could I ask him that when I just broke up with him? It wasn’t fair, and I would feel obligated to him.
If I saved my family, it would destroy me. If I di
dn’t do anything, it would ruin them.
My knuckles turned white from my grip on the countertop, but the stab of pain was the only sensation in my body, making me still feel I was there, not drifting away into darkness.
The door behind me clicked closed, snapping my head up, my eyes staring at the reflection in the mirror.
His hazel eyes preyed on me through the glass, his broad shoulders set wide, his expression severe. Turbulent. Primal. Dominant.
I stared back at him. Raw need skated over my skin, pulsing in my core. He was my anchor, pulling me back from the brink.
“I know you asked me to stay away from you.” Raspy, his voice battered against my resolve.
I didn’t answer. It didn’t matter. We both knew he should walk right back out the door. This was wrong. But I no longer cared. This was far too fierce and consuming to ignore.
He was leaving. And I was going to have to choose my cage.
“Spencer…” He rumbled my name, his eyes shredding through the glass, burning into me.
Everything shut off in my brain. No thoughts or voices telling me I was wrong. Tomorrow my world was going to collapse, whichever way I chose…right now I just wanted him. One moment of happiness. One moment just for me.
“I can’t stay awa—”
“Shut up,” I breathed, whirling around. My body collided into him, my mouth finding his. There was a moment he didn’t respond, a statue against my assault, like he was still trying to fight it…fight us. But I felt the moment it all snapped, his control shattering, his lips crushing against mine. Hungry. Savage. Stealing the air from my lungs in a gasp. Making me feel alive, ravenous, and wild.
All things I never felt with Theo.
The bomb inside me detonated, incinerating me in violent flames. His hands clutched my face, knotting through my hair roughly, his tongue parting my lips, deepening the kiss and creating a frenzy in me.
Desperate. Feral.
“Fuck,” he growled, his hands dropping to my waist, lifting me. Fighting the layers of the ridiculous dress, my legs wrapped around his hips, his erection pushing against his trousers into my knickers.
Royal Command (Royal Watch #2) Page 6
