His wrist brushed her arm as he used the reins to guide the horse, sending a rush of warmth through her, much like when he had held her trembling hands. Was this how it felt to have a friend, a true friend she could trust? Someone she was not afraid would attack her and mistreat her? To feel warm inside, safe, and accepted?
When they came in sight of her home, she saw it through Sir Gerek’s eyes. The entire structure leaned to one side, and the thatched roof was obviously housing a lot of small animals. If he got any closer, he might see the cracks in the walls.
“Please let me down here.” Rapunzel slid off the saddle before he could get the horse stopped. “Thank you for the lessons and for helping me today.” She turned and hurried away, not waiting for him to reply.
She entered the house. Mother was standing there, her lips thin and bloodless.
Chapter Seventeen
What did you do?” Mother’s voice was like the hiss of a boiling kettle. She stepped toward her and grabbed Rapunzel’s shoulders. “Where have you been with that man? What did he do to you?” Her voice escalated higher and louder with each word.
“He didn’t do anything—”
“If he has got you with child, I will go to Duke Wilhelm. I will force him to make the man pay for what he did to you.”
“Mother, he hasn’t done anything to me!”
“Don’t lie to me. I know what men are about. Did I not tell you? But I’ll take care of this.”
“Mother, nothing happened!”
“Why were you with him? Why?” Mother started to wail and suddenly put her face in her hands. “I’m losing you, I’m losing you.” She was sobbing and wailing, a high-pitched sound that made Rapunzel’s stomach roil and twist.
“Mother, what are you saying? I will tell you everything if you will only be calm and stop crying so.”
Mother suddenly ceased her weeping and looked up. “You tell me now. Tell me now what you have been doing while I was away the last few weeks. You will not lie to me. You will not deceive me.” Again her voice began to climb until she was fairly screeching.
“Mother, I have been going to the monastery for reading lessons.” Her stomach was still twisting, and she was wringing her hands at Mother’s wild eyes and horrified expression. “I asked one of the monks to teach me, and he asked Sir Gerek to teach me.”
“Aha! Sir Gerek.” Her lips twisted as if his name itself were poison. “I knew he wanted you. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at you. He’s lecherous and deceitful. Teaching you to read was only a ploy to make you fall in love with him.”
“No, Mother, no. He didn’t even want to teach me. He was very honest with me, and he never even tried to make me fall in love with him. Nothing happened between us at all.”
“He did not touch you? I don’t believe he did not try—”
“No, Mother. He never tried to touch me.” Not in the way she meant.
“Then why were you riding with him on his horse, sharing his saddle?”
“That smiley man who attacked us and then tried to kill Sir Gerek followed me when I left home today, and Sir Gerek saved me from him. He was taking me home because I was nervous.” The memory of it caused tears to form in her eyes again. “But you don’t have to worry because he’s leaving the monastery tomorrow and I won’t be taking lessons from him anymore. So please, don’t be upset. Nothing happened.”
“How can I trust you? Why should I believe you?” That dark look was on her face again, her eyes narrowing and her lips twisting. “You lied to me. You said you were painting and making up new songs, but you were sneaking away to go see that knight. I knew he was trouble. O God, where did I go wrong?” She clenched her fists as she bent over double, as if she’d been punched in the stomach.
“Mother, please stop. Please listen to me. You will make yourself sick.”
“No, you listen to me.” Her voice was gravelly, and she stuck her finger in Rapunzel’s face. “You are never to leave this house again without me. Never.” She turned and started looking all around the room. “We will pack tonight and leave in the morning. That way he can never find you again. For I know he will never leave you alone. He is determined to have his way with you and then discard you, like an old rag. We must leave here.” She grabbed an old blanket and laid it on the floor and started throwing things into the middle of it.
“Mother, stop! Please!” Had her mother lost her mind? What could Rapunzel say to calm her? “We have only just come here. We can’t leave.” She desperately searched her mind for reasons why they should stay, something that would convince Mother. “You have those two pregnant women who are counting on you delivering their babies. You were doing well. Hagenheim is good for you.” She decided not to mention the man she had come here to seek revenge on.
“But it is bad for you.” Mother was shaking her head. “Didn’t you say that man attacked you again? He found you. He must have heard me say where people could find me, in the cottage in the woods.” She suddenly turned around. “Did he hurt you?”
“No, Mother. He tried to hurt me, but Sir Gerek came in time to save me. I am well, but I am worried about you. You look frantic and not well. We cannot leave, and you are—”
“Frantic? Unwell?” Mother let out a loud cackle, so loud and so long that it made the hair on her arms stand up and her skin tingle. “I come home and find you gone. I don’t know where you are. Then I see you riding up in the very saddle with that knight. Of course I am frantic and unwell!” Mother had filled the blanket with their belongings and was lifting the corners and tying them together.
“Mother, please.” Rapunzel tugged on her arm, but Mother shook her off. “Mother, stop. Please stop.” But she didn’t stop; she only hurried to fetch more things. “I promise I will go with you every day to Hagenheim. I promise. I will not see Sir Gerek anymore. He’ll be gone to Hagenheim Castle to resume his duties there tomorrow. I don’t want to go to another place. Cannot we stay here a few more days at least?”
“Why? So you can run away with Sir Gerek?”
“No, Mother, of course not. I know you are hurt because I was not truthful with you, but I was just so desperate to learn to read, and I knew you would not like it if you knew I was being taught by a man. But I do know how to read now. I can read German. It is so wonderful, and I can teach you if you wish. Only, please do not leave here so hastily. I have not fallen in love with anyone, and no one is in love with me. Please, cannot we stay?” She wasn’t even sure why she wanted to stay so badly. But she felt her future was here. She did not want to go to some tiny, obscure village again.
“Men will hurt you, Rapunzel. You must not trust them. How could you have trusted him?” Her face scrunched up, her openmouthed stare imploring. Would she start wailing again?
“Yes, Mother, I know. But he is gone now, and he did not hurt me.” Rapunzel reached out and rubbed her mother’s shoulder, trying to soothe her.
Mother spun away from her. “I do not know what to think. You deceived me.” She shook her head, her back to her.
“I know. I am sorry. Please forgive me.”
Mother simply shook her head. “It is very hard when a mother cannot trust her own child.”
Rapunzel resisted the urge to huff out a sigh. Yes, she felt guilty for deceiving Mother, but wasn’t she overreacting? “I did not intend to hurt you. I only wanted to get reading lessons. I am truly sorry. Let us have some pottage and I will sing to you and braid your hair. I will make the soup. You sit and rest your eyes.”
But Mother ignored her and continued to pack up their things.
Rapunzel put the pea and oat pottage they had had for breakfast that morning back over the fire pit. She stirred the ashes underneath, but there wasn’t an ember left. She moved the pot back out of the way and set about relighting the fire while Mother kept gathering things and packing them into blankets.
Her heart beat anxiously as she struck her flints together, creating a spark that ignited the dry beech tree bark. She added som
e more fuel to the fire—bark, straw, and sticks—until it was burning strong enough to burn the larger pieces of wood. The smoke stung her eyes, but she ignored it and put the pottage back over the fire.
Mother planned to leave in the morning. Rapunzel had to make a decision. Would she go with her?
She touched the pocket inside the lining of her skirt where she had tucked Sir Gerek’s letter recommending her for a maidservant position at Hagenheim Castle. For once, Rapunzel had a choice. She did not have to go with Mother.
Rapunzel’s heart continued to pound and skip. What would Mother do if Rapunzel refused to go with her? What if she sneaked away early in the morning and went to Hagenheim Castle? No, that would be cruel. Mother wouldn’t know where she was. She would have to tell her mother what she planned to do.
Her breath seemed to leave her at the thought of defying Mother.
She finished reheating the cold pottage. Mother was still throwing things together into cloths, bags, and baskets and muttering to herself. Truly, it was times like this that she wondered if Mother was sane. Other mothers pushed their daughters to marry as soon as possible. Rapunzel had always been grateful her mother was not like that, but at the moment, she didn’t feel grateful, she only felt . . . smothered. Trapped. Desperate.
She simply could not face leaving again, going to a new town, a new village, being the outsider, the strange midwife’s daughter. She was tired, weary to the bone of moving over and over again and never feeling like she belonged. She knew how to read, and now she wanted to read and learn and see and do and be a part of something.
“Mother, I don’t wish to leave with you tomorrow.” Dishing up a bowl of pottage, she sat cross-legged on the floor with her wooden spoon and glanced across the room at Mother. “I want to stay in Hagenheim.”
Mother went still, then turned her head in Rapunzel’s direction. “What did you say?”
“I don’t want to move, Mother. I want to stay here. And I want to go with you tomorrow to Hagenheim.”
Mother didn’t say anything. She also did not eat the bowl of pottage that Rapunzel tried to give her. Instead, she sat quietly crying, not bothering to wipe the tears.
When they were getting their bed ready that night, Mother still had not spoken. Then she turned and looked at Rapunzel. Mother’s eyes were red rimmed and wild. “If you see that man, Sir Gerek, again, I will give you a sleeping potion and take you far away from here, where no one can find you.”
Rapunzel’s insides felt hollow and a cold sweat chilled her temples.
Rapunzel did not answer her. They lay down on the bed and Mother turned her back to her.
Her mind went back to the man who had attacked her and how he had seemed eager to hurt her and take revenge on her for throwing the knife into his arm. She shivered and lay facing Mother’s back, reliving the terror as she had tried to outrun him, as she screamed Sir Gerek’s name, as the man threw her on the ground and sat on her. She wrapped her arms around herself, curling into a ball, and squeezed her eyes shut. Then she remembered the bone-deep relief of Sir Gerek appearing with his drawn sword.
She had expected that her mother, when she heard what had happened, would put her arms around Rapunzel and comfort her. But instead, her mother had screamed at her and ranted and cried for hours.
She had to face the truth that it was no longer safe to stay with her mother.
Sir Gerek. She had always thought him arrogant and irritable, but he had been more compassionate than her mother. He’d even put his arms around her and patted her shoulder. She had thought she disliked him. But whatever it was she felt about him now, it was not dislike. Would she never see him again?
Rapunzel awoke from a dream about a squirrel hitting her on the head with a bunch of nuts. With barely a hint of light coming through the cracks in the shutters, she still heard the tapping sound. Someone was knocking on their door.
Mother got up and yelled, “Who is there?”
“Is this the home of Gothel the midwife?”
Mother opened the door. “I am Gothel the midwife.”
“Please come. My mistress has been having pains since last evening.”
Mother turned and reached for her birthing bag. “Rapunzel, get up. You’re coming with me.”
“Yes, Mother.” She was dressed in her underdress, but hurried to pull her brown kirtle over her head, the one she had worn the day before with Sir Gerek’s letter still in the pocket.
Rapunzel followed her mother out the door and into the dark gray of predawn.
Chapter Eighteen
Rapunzel always felt like she was in hell at a birth, with all the moans and groans and occasional rantings and screams, and this was no exception. She huddled in a corner while the laboring woman’s husband and servants obeyed Mother’s instructions.
One of the older servants, the cook, came into the room and pointed at Rapunzel. “Can you go to the market for me?”
The woman started moaning and crying as Mother called out, “I can see the head. Keep pushing.” Mother didn’t even glance up.
Rapunzel hurried out of the room with the cook, who asked her to get some calamus to help the new mother sleep once the baby came, as well as pears, because pears would help her produce more milk.
Rapunzel stepped out onto the street, thankful they were not far from the market, but her heart was pounding; this was her chance to escape.
She glanced around at all the people. It was strange and exciting and frightening all at the same time. She kept her head down as she went in the direction of the Marktplatz. No one seemed to be paying any attention to her.
When she reached the market, she found a woman selling pears and bought six. “Can you direct me to someone selling calamus?”
“The herb sellers should have some. Check in the center, near the fountain.”
“Thank you.” Rapunzel threaded her way through the people and the lines of sellers and their booths. Finally, she found the sellers with their bunches of green and dried herbs laid out in small piles. Having picked herbs with her mother many times, she recognized the calamus, stepped up, and asked for a small bunch.
She walked quickly through the streets back to the house. She went in the kitchen door and gave the cook the items and turned and left without a word.
She hurried back to the town square, her blood pulsing in her ears. The five towers of Hagenheim Castle rose behind the buildings of the square, and Rapunzel made her way toward them.
Approaching the castle gatehouse, her knees went weak as she stared at the guard. He barely glanced at her as she was passing through, but Rapunzel shifted directions and walked toward him instead. “I want to work in the castle. Would you tell me where I should go?”
The guard studied her with a hard expression. “You want to be a maidservant?”
“Yes.”
“Go in the back there”—he pointed to the right side of the castle—“through the kitchen door, and ask for the mistress of the maidservants, Frau Adelheit.”
“Thank you.”
He nodded and she kept walking.
A path had been worn toward the back of the castle, so she followed it to a stone building that was connected to the castle by a covered walkway. The door was open.
No one looked her way, so she stepped in and tried to find someone to ask. A large pig was roasting over a fire in a giant oven recessed into the wall, where the smoke all seemed to be disappearing instead of going into the room. Even though it was huge, this place for the fire, with its escape hole for the smoke, seemed to work even better than Sir Gerek’s in his monastery room.
A woman stood stirring a pot at the edge of the fire, then swung an iron arm that held the pot’s handle with a hook so that the pot was back over the fire. Younger women sat chopping and peeling vegetables and fruits at a long wooden table. They were all wearing the same blue cotehardie and the same white head covering, which was more like a kerchief. It pulled their hair away from their faces and tied underneath in the
back, but left uncovered the hair that flowed down their backs.
Rapunzel stepped toward them. “Can you tell me how to find Frau Adelheit?”
One young woman stood up. “I can help you find her.”
“I thank you.” She followed the young woman out of the hot little building and across to a huge wooden door. Within the large one was a small door just tall enough and wide enough for them to pass through. They opened it and entered a dark corridor.
“Are you inquiring about the servant position?” the young woman asked.
“Ja.”
“You will need to know someone who works here. Do you know anyone?” They came to a door.
“I know Cristobel.”
The young woman knocked on the door.
“You may enter,” a voice said on the other side.
The woman opened the door and said, “Someone is here about the servant position, Frau Adelheit.” She held the door open and Rapunzel walked through. The young woman closed the door and Rapunzel was alone with a woman who appeared to be about forty years old.
Frau Adelheit sat at a small table holding a pen in her hand. She put down the pen and stared at her, but not unkindly. “What is your name?”
“Rapunzel.”
“And I am Frau Adelheit, the mistress of servants at Hagenheim Castle. What makes you think you should work at this castle for the duke and his lady?”
“I-I am willing to work hard and do whatever is required of me, Frau Adelheit.”
“And why do you want to work hard and do whatever is required of you?”
“Because I-I have no family except for a mother, and I wish to work and live independently.”
“That is a lofty goal for a peasant girl.” But she tempered the words with a small smile.
“Lofty? I’d say it’s more desperate.” Rapunzel expelled a breath that was half laugh, half sigh.
Frau Adelheit raised an eyebrow.
“But I am a good worker, and I am very discreet and loyal.”
A Melanie Dickerson Collection Page 65
