by Ronica Black
She backed away with a smile. “Elevate and ice that ankle.”
“I will.”
“And for God’s sake, no more mountains for a while, okay?”
Olivia laughed and waved good-bye. She watched as Eve climbed into her dark red SUV and drove away. Then Olivia hobbled in behind the wheel of her Toyota, closed the door, started the engine, and stared straight ahead.
Had all of that really just happened?
She couldn’t believe it.
A little over a year ago, she’d wanted, more than anything, to change her life. And boy, was she getting what she wanted. As she drove from the parking lot she thought about that old familiar saying.
Be careful what you wish for.
Because it just might happen in ways you never dared dream.
Chapter Nine
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this down,” Karen said from across the table.
Eve could still see her sipping her margarita even as she stared beyond her into oblivion. Her ability to focus had disappeared, taking along with it sleep and motivation. Crankiness and frustration, however, had moved in, attempting to set up permanent residence.
“Um, hello? Anyone home?” Karen was leaning forward, trying to get her attention.
Eve forced her gaze back to her friend. Normally, she’d come back at her with something clever, funny even. But she just didn’t have the will.
“My God. You’re really jonesing for this woman, aren’t you? Why don’t you just call her and put an end to all this suffering?”
Somehow, Eve managed a sigh. She’d been pining over Olivia since she’d last seen her, wondering why she hadn’t called, complaining that she hadn’t called, moping around because she hadn’t called.
“Well, for one, I don’t have any way to contact her. And for another, this needs to be her decision. I’m almost certain she feels the same attraction I do, but the way she behaved the last time I saw her and the things she said…I think she may be struggling with it.”
Which is why I’m so confused over my reaction to her silence. I shouldn’t be surprised or upset over her avoidance if she’s struggling with those feelings. Not only that, but dating confused women in the past has never ended well for me. So what the hell is going on here?
“Oh, now that’s news. You’ve failed to mention that little nugget of information.” She seemed to think for a moment. “What about your rule? About dating women who aren’t secure in their sexuality? Or have you forgotten?”
“I remember my rule.”
“Then that must be why you conveniently left out the bit about your suspicions. You knew I’d kick your ass for even considering dating her.”
“Yes. That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you.” She spread her hands and gave her an incredulous look. “What do you want me to say? You want me to deny it? I can’t. I knew you’d kick my ass, and honestly, Karen, I’ve been kicking my own ass over it plenty. I’ve gone over and over my rule and the fiascos in the past and I’m still thinking about her. I can’t seem to stop.”
“So if she calls are you going to throw your rule out the window?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. You didn’t even hesitate.”
“I don’t need to. I’ve done nothing but think about this. About her. She moves me, Karen. She is on a whole different level.”
“How so?”
“Well, she’s honest. Even when she tries to hide something, I can tell it’s not who she really is and that she feels discontent in not divulging everything. It’s an innocence I think, and her being that real, that authentic, to me, a virtual stranger, is very unusual and it shows me who she is inside.”
“And who is she?”
“She’s…good.”
“Good? Since when does Goody Two-shoes do it for you?”
Eve gave her a look. “There’s depth to this woman, Karen. Real depth. The way she seems to feel and process the world, it’s profound.”
“Okay. She’s deep, sensitive.”
“Yes. But there’s more.” She couldn’t help but smile. “She’s got some fire in her.”
“Really?” She eased back and crossed her arms.
“She’s headstrong and stubborn and she can be temperamental. She’s a fighter and she’s ambitious and extremely determined. There’s a definite passion there. I don’t think she even realizes it, because she’s been so repressed, but it’s there. Especially with me. She reacts so strongly when I touch her, I almost expect her to spontaneously combust.” She wiped at the sweat on her glass and got lost in the marks from her fingertip. “And the way she dives into my eyes.” She shook her head. “It’s like I’m the rarest most beautiful thing she’s ever seen and she’s trying with all her might to commit me to memory.”
She returned her gaze to Karen, who also seemed to be caught up in her description of Olivia.
“But the thing that gets me the most. I mean really tunnels down deep and stirs me, is how everything she says and does and feels, it all seems to be one hundred and ten percent…” she paused, searching for the right word.
“Heartfelt.”
Karen was quiet for a few long seconds. “I’m at a loss for words. I’ve never heard you talk like this before.”
“I’m a little surprised as well.”
“You know who you sound like, don’t you?”
“No, who?”
“You sound like a romantic.”
Eve spun her glass slowly around and around.
“Yeah,” Karen said. “Try that one on for size.”
“I guess, I do, don’t I?”
“You’re admitting it? You make fun of romantics, Eve.”
“I have before, yes.”
“So, what’s happening here?”
“I don’t know. And don’t think that doesn’t scare the shit out of me, because it does. But, Karen. Jesus, God, Karen. I want her. And not just physically, either. I want all of her. I want to know this woman inside and out.”
“I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’ve got it bad, my friend. You’re well past Go with two hundred dollars in hand and you’re headed straight for Love Boulevard.”
“No,” Eve said, resting her elbows on the table. “Saying I sound like a romantic is one thing, but no, I don’t do love.”
“Eve, you’re love bound, babe. You are riding that wild train of helpless devotion like a demon, pulling on that whistle something fierce.”
“Okay, I get your point.” She massaged her brow while focusing on the table.
“You know I’m all for you meeting someone special and settling down. I want that for you more than I can express.”
“But?”
“It’s not what you want. You just said so.”
“Right.”
“Then you need to let this go. Let her go. Because, I’m telling you, you’re going to fall for her. Hard. It’s already happening, and I know you think you can control how you feel and delve into this woman with sex and passion and an exploration of who she is and somehow keep it casual. But you can’t. Not when it comes to love. There is no way to control that. You wouldn’t know because you’ve never felt like this before. I have. So, please, listen to me and save yourself and this woman a lot of trouble and forget about her.”
Eve almost gulped her margarita, too worked up to sip.
“I must’ve said something that reached you, because you’re stressing.”
Eve took a break from her consumption of her drink even though there was very little left.
“She’s not going to call, so this whole conversation is moot.”
“She could still call.”
“It’s been weeks.”
“Just be ready if she does. Know what you’re going to say.”
Eve downed the remainder of her drink in a single shot and placed her empty glass on the table. “Let’s just talk about something else, please.”
Karen patted her hand.
“Look outside. It’s a beautifu
l day. A glorious day. And look at us. We’re alive, we’re healthy and, not to mention, extremely attractive.” She grinned wickedly and motioned at the food and drinks on the table like she was a spokesmodel showing off merchandise. “And we’ve got margaritas and guac. Some seriously good guac. Two of your favorite things.” She winked. “So come on, show some life, kid. Dig into those homemade tortilla chips like I know you can and forget about the girl.”
“I’ll drink but I can’t stomach anything to eat. Not right now.” Not when Olivia was out there somewhere, undoubtedly lost to her forever. She wasn’t yet okay with that, despite Karen’s opinions.
If she were being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she ever would be.
Chapter Ten
The waiter brought Eve another margarita, and this time she sipped, enjoying the tartness as it mixed with the salt from the rim. She usually relished that fine combination, but everything was still so dull. She took a few more sips, hoping for some color to seep back into her world. The alcohol was relaxing her, but color remained elusive.
As some of the tension lifted, she began to think about climbing out of her funk. That had to be her main objective today. Life hadn’t somehow stopped just because she had. It was still spinning endlessly around her, and she needed to jump back on that merry-go-round before she forgot how. After all, she had goals. Ambitions. And she’d always been driven, come rain or shine. That hadn’t changed.
“Maybe you’re right,” she said. “Maybe I need to move on from this.”
“You don’t sound like you’re convinced.”
“I just don’t know how I’d do it. How can I get her from my mind?”
“Isn’t it obvious? You need to do what everybody else does when they need to forget someone. You need to get back on the horse. You need a date.”
Eve shook her head. “That’s the last thing I need.”
“No, it’s exactly what you need. A new woman will definitely get your mind off of Olivia. And some seriously great sex, well, that will blow Miss Goody Two-shoes right out of your hemisphere.”
Eve frowned, letting her know she didn’t like the comment.
“Okay, I’m sorry I called her that. But come on, hon. Hop back on that horse. I’ve even got someone in mind for you.”
“Karen, you don’t get it. Olivia isn’t just another woman. She’s an experience. Those precious moments I had with her…let’s just say I won’t be able to forget her by going on a date or two.”
“You say something like that and you don’t want love? And you don’t want to even consider that what you’re feeling is headed that way, or that you might possibly already be there?”
“Karen, come on.”
“I just want to be sure.”
“Love means losing yourself and it leads to commitment. You know how I feel about that.”
“So, no love.”
“No love.”
“Not even with this woman.”
“No.”
“Then I don’t know what to tell you as far as forgetting her. Maybe you should obsess on something else. Work out more. Throw yourself into your fitness.”
Eve laughed. “More than I do now?”
Karen shrugged. “It’s something you love to do.”
“How long have you known me? You know I’m built like a Mack truck. I have my father’s physique and I can very easily build muscle.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, look at me. I’m already pretty jacked, Karen. Any more and I’ll look like the Terminator. I like classic Arnold and all, but that’s a look I’d rather pass on, thank you very much. It just isn’t me.”
“That surprises me a little. I never thought I’d hear you say that there’s a level of fitness that is ‘too much.’”
“Yeah, well, I am. I’m happy where I’m at.”
“Must be nice.” She curled her fingers and pretended to study her nails. “Being all physically perfect and everything. I, of course, wouldn’t know.”
Eve rolled her eyes and let her continue, knowing she was going to playfully pick on her.
“Most women wouldn’t know. But I guess that’s what keeps you in business. Keeps you in demand. Our inability to attain perfection.”
“Oh, my God.”
“And so in you swoop to save the day. Like a superhero. To, you know, help all of us less fortunate souls.” She covered her heart with her hand. “What’s it like, Eve? To be so wonderful? To make such a difference in so many lives?”
Eve looked at her for a moment with a straight face. “Exhausting.”
Karen burst out laughing. Eve joined her with a little laughter herself and it felt good.
Their waiter appeared again, and Karen wiped her eyes.
“Don’t mind us. We’re just a little happy. And now that you’re here, well, we’re very happy, aren’t we?”
He smiled but looked a bit uncomfortable. “Did you ladies want to order a meal?”
Karen leaned toward him. “I think it’s the margaritas. You know what tequila can do to a woman.” They were only on their second drink and had been there for close to two hours. She was far from intoxicated.
Eve cleared her throat and gave Karen a stern look before answering the young man.
“No, thank you. We’re fine. We’re ready for the bill when you get a chance.”
Karen ignored her and winked at him. “You get what I’m saying, sweetie?”
He nodded quickly at Eve and hurried away.
Eve kicked her beneath the table.
Karen jerked and squealed. “Ow, what was that for?”
“Can we go anywhere without you verbally accosting the male staff?”
“Oh, come on, he’s cute.”
“Yes, and now he’s scared shitless as well.”
“Oh, he’s just shy. And I’m just being playful.”
“Playful? More like aggressive bordering on harassing. Why don’t you just skip the banter altogether and grab his ass?”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“Karen.”
“Oh, stop.”
“You can’t be so, I don’t know, creepy. Not anymore.”
“I’m not creepy. I’m just a very friendly, very wealthy, and very lonely older woman.”
“Who comes on to younger prospects like a very wealthy, very lonely, very creepy older man.”
She reared back. “I’m not that bad, am I?”
“You’re getting there.”
The waiter returned with their bill and Karen graciously apologized, which still caused a blush. They didn’t bother to finish their drinks before they stood. Karen was obviously embarrassed and she tried to make up for her behavior by leaving a sizable tip. More sizable than usual.
They left the restaurant and walked quietly to their vehicles. Eve took in the fresh air, feeling a little better. Her head felt clearer and the world seemed less heavy. A breeze tickled her face and whipped her hair, and she thought how nice a long walk might be.
They came to Karen’s white Mercedes convertible. “You feeling any better, sunshine?”
“I am, thanks. And thanks for the drink and the…talk.”
“I’m always honest.”
“That you are.”
“And so are you. Thank you for pointing out my misbehavior.”
Eve shrugged. “It’s what we do.”
Karen slid on her sunglasses. They were large, white, and Gucci. No doubt purposely chosen to match her car.
“I know you don’t want to over obsess over your fitness and turn into the Terminator or anything like that, but I still think my other idea is a good one. You should go on a date and meet somebody new.”
“Oh, Karen, I don’t know. Honestly, I’d probably just compare anyone I met to Olivia.”
“But, hon, how long are you going wait for these feelings to go away? It may take months, Eve. You don’t want that, do you? You want out of this pit now, right?”
“I do.”
Karen patted her ch
eek. “Then trust me. Mama knows best. I’ll set the whole thing up; all you have to do is show up.”
“Wait, what?”
“She’s fantastic. Gorgeous, driven. Right up your alley. And…she’s been single for a while. Which means she’s probably hungry for a little monkey business.”
“Karen, I—”
“Don’t say another word. I’ll call you with the details.” She grabbed her shoulders. “Now give me a firm embrace and tell me you love me.” They embraced, and Karen squeezed her so hard it almost hurt. “That’s it, there’s nothing like a good bit of bones on bones.” She pulled away and kissed her fingertips and then pressed them to Eve’s lips. “See you soon, kid. Be good.”
Eve closed her door after her. She waved as she backed out and drove away. Eve walked to her vehicle, hoping Karen would forget about the setup. She would’ve protested more, but she was tired of the fight at the moment. She settled into her Tahoe and dug her phone out of her purse. The screen lit up with a missed call and a voice mail. She started her SUV, muted the music, and dialed in to hear the message. She was looking forward to going on that long, peaceful walk, and she knew exactly where she wanted to go to do so.
But everything came to a sudden and slamming halt as a familiar voice came from her phone.
“Hi, Eve, this is Olivia. You know”—nervous laughter—“from the mountain. I just called to—I was just wondering how you were doing. I’ve been thinking a lot, and—I don’t know. God, I must sound like an idiot. Anyway, if you have time and you want to, give me a call back. I hope you’re—you know—doing well. Thanks. Bye.”
Eve’s heart pounded, and all the sadness and disappointment she’d been feeling vanished, along with her decision to try to forget and move on. All of it was gone, up in smoke, almost as if it had never even existed.
She was aware of what was happening and that she should heed Karen’s words or at least take the time to consider them more, but she couldn’t. Rational thought and good decision-making seemed to have vanished right along with her sad feelings and Karen’s advice.
A new, more vigorous excitement lit her up inside, and that was all she could feel and focus on.
She replayed the voice mail and allowed Olivia’s voice to feed the fire of that excitement, to bring her back to life.
