by Kathryn Shay
Shyly, her father also extended out an envelope. “And this is from me and my wife. Megan’s my sister.” Tears glittered in his eyes and he sniffled. “She’s gonna be all right because of Guardian. It isn’t much either, but we want you to have it.”
A huge swell of emotion lodged in Alexis’s throat. She watched Spence swallow hard a couple of times before he answered. “Thank you, Mr. Smith. Every bit helps.”
His eyes shining, Grant stepped forward to shake their hands. He smiled at the little girl. “Would you like a tour of the base?”
“We’d love it,” Mr. Smith said. “If it’s not too much bother.”
Grant nodded at Alexis. “Mind if I do this one myself, Alexis?”
Somehow she found her voice. “No, of course not. There’s plenty I can do in the meantime.”
He squeezed her shoulder and winked. “Thanks.”
Then the Smiths and Grant were gone. Alexis turned to Spence. His hair still fell boyishly onto his forehead and a grin spread across his whole face. His eyes sparkled like twin blue stars. She couldn’t wrest her gaze from his.
“Does this happen often?” she asked, in a hoarse whisper.
Evan Redman stepped forward. “As a matter of fact it does. Come to my office and I’ll show you the breakdown on private donations. Some really neat stuff there.”
As Evan insinuated himself between her and the rest of the staff, Spence’s face closed down and his gaze narrowed on where Evan had grasped her elbow. Just a light, friendly gesture, pretty common here at Guardian, from what Alexis had observed. Yet Spence’s jaw hardened, as if the man had touched her intimately. When Spence raised his eyes to hers, they were burning with an emotion she couldn’t deny, but was scared to death to acknowledge.
Possessiveness.
o0o
“GODDAMN IT.” In the hangar, his head poked in the ship’s cockpit, Spence yanked his hand back from a wire that had pricked his finger, making it bleed. “Son of a bitch.”
Teddy came up behind him. “Need some medical assistance, buddy?”
“I need a shrink,” he mumbled under his breath. For caring that Alexis Castle was at this very moment at some fancy restaurant with the ever-slick Evan Redman. For reacting so violently to some stupid, innocuous touch. To Teddy, he said, “Yeah. It’s bleedin’ like hell.”
Teddy pulled out his medic bag from the passenger compartment and began doctoring Spence. He chatted as he worked but Spence didn’t listen. Instead, he brooded about Evan Redman—divorced and fairly attractive, if you went for the slick corporate type. Which Alexis probably did. Spence himself had always thought the man was as smooth as olive oil.
Damn, he didn’t like the way Redman had touched her.
If it hadn’t been for the guy’s earlier comment, Spence wouldn’t have cared. But this morning, both Redman and Carl Danner had remarked how nice Alexis looked, how different. Spence had pretended not to notice that she’d dressed down today, in a pretty, peach sleeveless top and a skirt that wrapped around her waist. The outfit was covered with white flowers and his hands itched to see if the material—and what was in it—felt as soft as it looked.
The new clothes weren’t Jamie’s neon fashions; they weren’t Alexis Castle’s usual corporate uniforms. They were Lexy’s clothes. Dressy enough for work. Casual enough for Guardian. Sexy enough to make him want to remove them, piece by piece. He hadn’t been able to get the knot that held the wraparound skirt together, out of his mind
“That should do it,” Teddy said. “You coming to eat?”
“In a minute. Thanks for the bandage.”
“You okay?”
“Sure, why not?”
“You look like you wanna deck somebody.”
“Nah.”
“Not even Redman?”
Spence’s head snapped up. “Why’d you say that?”
“It’s not a secret there’s no love lost between you two. But today, for no reason I could see, you were as pleasant as a grizzly bear to him.”
Because he had commented on Alexis’s dress. Shit. Out loud, he protested. “The guy rubs me the wrong way.”
“Nothing to do with Alexis Castle?”
“Why would you say that?”
Teddy shrugged. “I dunno. Just a feeling.” He sobered and leaned back against the ship. “You know Keag, you can tell me stuff too—it doesn’t just go one way.”
Spence threw him a puzzled look.
“I talk to you about my divorce. About my feelings for Sally. You never talk to me.”
“Sure I do.”
“Not about personal stuff.”
“I’m not good at sharing personal stuff.”
His confession last week to Alexis belied that. I’ll tell it to you straight, so long as you promise not to let it affect your decision about the grant to Guardian.
Again, Teddy shrugged. “I know you aren’t. I just thought maybe…” He glanced back into the office. “Maybe something was on your mind.”
For a minute, Spence was tempted to confess his untenable thoughts about Alexis Castle to Teddy. To tell his friend about the tender and possessive feelings that snuck up on him. But he battled back the urge. Instead, he clapped Teddy on the back and said, “Nah, nothing’s botherin’ me. Come on, let’s go chow down those subs Mike went out to get.”
Hurt flashed in Teddy’s eyes. Spence felt bad and then quickly doused the feeling—and all the other damn emotions that had swirled inside him since morning like wild monsoon rain.
“Tell me what you think’s gonna happen to Jenna today,” he added, lightly.
o0o
ALEXIS RETURNED TO Guardian from the most boring lunch she’d had in weeks to find the reception area deserted; soft voices carried out from the break room. Evan Redman snorted when they passed it. “They’re at it again. It’s like siesta around here when that soap begins.”
“Don’t you watch it?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “Yeah, I confess, sometimes I do. It’s addictive.”
I know.
“Are you leaving now?” He glanced at the wall clock. “I’ve got a few calls to make, but I could—”
“Yes, I’m leaving.” She held out her hand. “Thanks for a nice lunch. Go make your calls.”
Alexis had stowed her sweater and briefcase on an empty shelf in the back of the break room, so she headed toward it. The sight that greeted her at the door made her smile. Watching them from behind, she saw six absorbed faces staring at the television screen. Spence sat on the edge of the couch cushion, hunched over, his forearms braced on his spread knees, his hands locked between them. Marcia Cone and Betty sat beside him, Patty West sipped a can of soda from behind the sofa, while Teddy sprawled on a recliner.
Alexis checked out the screen.
Jenna’s big blue eyes peered up at a sexy male. The close-up revealed a splattering of freckles across her nose. “It shouldn’t have happened between us.”
“Damn right,” Spence mumbled.
The darkly handsome man—Ray--tucked a strand of hair behind her perfectly-formed ear, the gesture so gentle it made Betty draw in a deep breath. “I know. It’s too complicated between us.” He stepped closer. “But I can’t stay away from you, Jen.”
“You keep your hands off her, you sleaze.” This from Spence, who was getting louder and madder.
“I don’t want you to stay away.” Jenna leaned into Ray’s touch.
Spence tried warning her. “Jenna baby, where’s your self-control? He’s gonna hurt you as sure as the sun shines.”
The scene ended in a passionate kiss; then there was a commercial break. Spence swore, stood and crossed to the fridge. He drew out a soda and took a long drink, still facing away from Alexis toward the TV. “Why the hell does she do that?” he demanded.
“Some men are irresistible, Keag,” Patty offered, leaning against the back of the couch.
“That’s bull. They should know better than to be gettin’ together.”
“You
can’t always control passion,” Teddy put in. “Sometimes it’s there, and you know it shouldn’t be, but you can’t stop it.”
Spence stiffened. “You can always stop it.”
His terse tone caused Alexis to shift her position in the doorway. The movement caught the attention of all of them except Spence, who stared at the commercial. Their faces turned wary, no doubt remembering her earlier criticism of their soap opera. Again, the feeling of not belonging hit Alexis in the face like a wall.
Teddy, who had been away during her last visit, spoke. “What do you think, Alexis? Can you always control what you do about your attraction to somebody?”
Spence spun around. His face showed surprise, and something else. Wariness maybe.
Alexis came farther into the room and wrapped her arms around her waist; she was suddenly weary of being on the outside, forever dousing the good mood and camaraderie of others. Though it went against her nature, she went along with the gang. “Well, in Jenna’s case, I can see why she’s attracted to him. Other than his good looks.”
“Why?” Teddy asked.
“He brings out another side of her. Everybody has always seen her as fragile and vulnerable, especially since the rape. He makes her feel competent and powerful, whereas the rest of them treat her like spun glass.”
Spence stuck his hands into his pockets; his eyes narrowed on her. “And how would you know anything about her?” There was no edge to his voice. Instead, it was laced with a familiar teasing. A sexy, warm teasing.
She angled her chin. “I was keeping Clare company just after I saw you all watching the show. She’s addicted, too. I’ve, um, caught it a few times since then.”
Marcia patted the cushion next to her, in invitation. “Come and sit down, it’s starting again.”
Forcing her gaze away from Spence, Alexis settled next to Marcia. The seat was still warm from his body, and she could smell his unique scent. It enveloped her.
Twenty minutes later when the soap ended, everybody filed out and made a point of speaking to her on the way…
“Nice seeing you, Alexis.”
“It was fun having you join us.”
“Don’t miss it tomorrow, girl.”
The comments warmed her. But she felt downright hot when she stood and faced Spence. Leaning against the fridge, arms crossed over his chest, he stared at her, his look soft and approving; high-current sexual vibes emanated from him. “So, Miss Alexis has been watchin’ the soap?”
No, but Lexy has. “Hey, I had to see what all the fuss was about.” The rest just slipped out. “Besides, I wanted to see for myself what Jenna was like.”
His grin was so sexy Alexis wanted to sigh. “Yeah, and why was that?”
She shook her head. “No reason.” She stepped back. “I came in here for my briefcase and sweater.”
For a moment, he just stared at her. Then his gaze swept the room, landing on her things in the corner. He retrieved them and handed them over. Their fingers brushed in the exchange, sending shock waves through her.
She was riveted to the spot.
So was he.
After a meaningful pause, he angled his head to the TV. “Tell me, Lexy, do you really think two mismatched people should be gettin’ together like that?”
o0o
ALEXIS WANDERED aimlessly around the stacks of the Barnes and Noble bookstore. Whereas before, she spent time in the business section, purchasing the latest books on corporate strategies, the stock market and business geniuses, this morning those books bored her. Besides, it was the day before Father’s Day, and the business section of the store was as packed as the subway on a Friday afternoon. Lots of fathers must be into business.
Idly, Alexis picked up a discounted book on art and leafed through it. But she didn’t see the pictures. Instead, she thought of how much she hated Father’s Day. Not only was it tough on Jamie, but on Austin, as well, because of Brody. Each year they struggled through it. She hoped that this year Portia and Clare would help them ease the pain and tension.
I wonder what the Keagans are doing?
The thought came unbidden and unwanted, just as all the thoughts had come since she’d visited Guardian at the beginning of the week. They were of Spence: lounging in the break room, entranced by the soap opera; his mysterious comment, Tell me, Lexy, do you really think two mismatched people should be gettin’ together like that? During the week she’d often caught sight of his sweaty, naked back, tanned deeper and deeper as he completed the work in Clare’s room. By chance, she’d come upon him feeding the ducks with Jamie, and telling her about the kinds of birds that frequented the lake. She could still picture how his eyes crinkled with laughter at her daughter’s antics...or how they burned with desire when he stole a glance at her. It was the latter she thought of most.
“Mom?”
Turning, she found Jamie next to her, books piled in her arms. “Found something, honey?”
“Uh-huh.” Jamie set the stack down and tossed back her hair. Just wait till Austin got a look at that mess tomorrow. The bleach was growing out, and her beautiful chestnut roots were showing. Jamie tugged at the glittery purple tank top she wore. “Man, it’s even hot in here.”
“Show me what you picked out so we can pay and head back to the lake. I’m dying for a swim.”
“Maybe Portia will take us skiing later.”
Skiing...Spence’s hands on her hips, his arms around her. “Maybe.”
“You liked it, didn’t you, Mom?”
She felt her face redden. “What?”
“Waterskiing.—
“Yes, of course. Now that I’ve gained more weight I can stay up better.” Alexis had put on eight pounds and was still gaining. She’d even mastered the slalom.
Jamie showed her the summer reading she’d chosen; some of the books were a little too old for her—like the gory thriller about a psychopathic cannibal—but Alexis kept quiet. Jamie was growing up fast and needed to make some of her own decisions. Book selection seemed tame compared to other teenage activities.
“What’s this?” Alexis asked, as Jamie uncovered the last one.
It was a purple volume with black accents, entitled, Carrying the Darkness—the Poetry of the Vietnam War.
Jamie squirmed. “Oh, that’s for Keag. He likes poetry. I know he fought in another war, but I thought he’d like it anyway.”
Alexis picked up the volume and flipped through it. The book was filled with verses by vets who’d fought in Southeast Asia. She skimmed the introduction and a few poems and immediately saw it contained some powerful poetry. Spence would love it. But she couldn’t ignore the implication of the gift.
“It’s a beautiful book, Jamie.”
“Then why do you look as if it’s filled with pictures of naked women?”
Carefully, she set the book down and squeezed her daughter’s shoulder. This was going to be tricky. “Honey, I don’t think it’s a good idea to buy Spence a gift for Father’s Day.”
Pure mutiny rose in Jamie’s eyes. “It’s not for Father’s Day.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No.”
Jamie wrenched away, but Alexis didn’t let her go. Her hand tightened on her daughter’s shoulder and she sidled up close. “Listen, Jame, I know you feel bad on Father’s Day, but substituting Spence Keagan for your father won’t help.”
Jamie whipped around, her eyes full of hurt. “That’s not what I’m doing, Dr. Freud. But if it’s such a bad idea, why do you substitute Grandpa every year?”
“Do I do that?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t you like spending time with Grandpa?”
The starch went out of her daughter. “Yeah, I do, but…”
“But why can’t you see your own father. Is that it?”
Pouting, Jamie traced the toe of her purple high-top along the pattern on the vinyl floor. “I don’t know. Sometimes. I guess so,” she mumbled.
“Honey, your father’s in Paris now, you know that
.”
“At the Sorbonne.”
“Yes.” Alexis struggled to keep the anger out of her voice. Greg had lived in Europe since Jamie was little.
“I know. But I haven’t seen him for ages. I can’t even remember what he looks like!”
“Doesn’t he send you photos?” Occasionally, Greg remembered to send presents for Christmas and Jamie’s birthday. But he was too bohemian to be reliable.
“Not for a couple of years.”
“I’m sorry.”
Jamie looked up, her innocent eyes pleading. “I like Spence, Mom, he’s nice. He taught me to ski, and skip stones, and identify birds.” She gripped the book. “I just want to do something nice for him.”
Oh, God, what had Alexis allowed to happen? How had Jamie become so attached to a man who would just be a fleeting memory in her life? Worse, a man who was a work associate of Alexis’s—again! Her daughter was kidding herself if she didn’t realize she saw Spence as a surrogate father. Who, at the end of August, would be gone from her life.
And from yours, Lexy taunted.
Well, that was fine.
But as they headed for the checkout, with their stack of books, including Carrying the Darkness, Alexis wondered if she was kidding herself, too.
CHAPTER EIGHT
JAMIE AWOKE in her grandma’s old bedroom and stared at the crack in the ceiling. She tracked the line as it meandered down the wall above the new, big window she’d left open all night. Outside, birds chirped loudly in the still-calm of early morning. The air was already warm, even though the clock by the bed told her it was only seven. Sunday morning.
Father’s Day.
For Jamie, the annual event ranked right up there with disasters such as the chicken pox she’d had at eight, her smelly lab partner from school last year, and the time she got lost in Yellowstone National Park for two hours.
Because every third Sunday in June, Jamie Anne Castle wondered what was so wrong with her that her own father wanted nothing to do with her. Her eyes misted and she shut them tight to keep back the tears. When that wasn’t enough, she flipped to her side and buried her face in the pillow. She knew only a few facts. Her mother was twenty-three when they married, but the marriage didn’t last long because her father left the country shortly after Jamie was born. Now, he was an artist, living in Europe, who dropped her a note when the spirit moved him.
