by C D Cain
Oh yeah, I like this woman.
“Here you go,” the girl said as she returned to the window. She handed the wrapped packages to Mo but held onto her hand as she collected the money from her. “Nice ink.” She tapped the bass clef tattoo on the inside of Mo’s wrist before releasing her hand.
“Thanks.” Mo gave her the same smile she had given her before.
I imagined she had many women flirt with her. I wondered if this was the smile she was used to showing when it happened. I decided it was a smile I hoped not to see in my future.
The unsolicited flirting reminded me of watching women openly flirt with Sam. Either these women knew both of them were lesbians or in the very least they must’ve thought they would respond to their flirtations. How did they know? What aura did they give off?
Mo waved at Jazlyn as she stood above the seated crowd. She was pointing to an empty table Violet had snagged for us.
“What did you two get?” Violet asked as she was wiping off debris from the sea-foam-colored table. The palm leaves hung low over the table and very nearly touched her head as she bent over.
“Fish tacos of course.” Mo set the paper basket containers down and pulled two orange Adirondack chairs away from the table. She pointed to the one next to her before taking a seat in the oversized chair.
“Rayne, did Mo even give you a chance to choose something else besides her beloved fish tacos?” Jazlyn asked.
Mo was already one bite into her first taco. “What? Of course, I did.” A few shreds of cabbage fell from the soft shell onto the paper packaging. She quickly picked them up not to let a single bite escape her mouth.
“She did. But she was pretty insistent this was the best choice.” The heat of the jalapeno coleslaw lingered in my mouth. “I’d have to say she was dead on. These are amazing.”
“Damn straight they are.” Mo gobbled up another bite.
“You may change your mind once you see my grilled cheese,” Violet said as she set four bottles of cold beer in front of us.
“Where’re you headed next?” Jazlyn opened her wrapper and nibbled on a large sourdough sandwich filled with melted white and yellow cheese.
“Key West, Florida.” Mo took the last bite of her first taco and chased it with a few large swallows of beer. “There’s a slammin’ new club opening up.”
“Key West. Nice,” Violet almost hummed.
“Like way nice. These girls do it right too. This is their third club. They have one in New York, Las Vegas, and now the Keys. They’re putting me up for the first month they’re open.”
“A month in the Keys?” Jazlyn tipped her beer toward Mo. “I hope you’ve worked on your exercise tolerance.”
Mo held her palm against her chest as if innocent to Jazlyn’s accusations. “Who, me?”
The three of them laughed at what had to be a private joke. After seeing the Airstream girl’s obvious flirtation, I didn’t have to stretch my imagination too far to understand their laughter.
We sat under the rustle of the palm leaves and let the breeze off of the ocean sweep away the humidity of the day. We took turns making trips to retrieve fresh cold beers. We watched the crowds continue to appear even with the passing hours of the night. We laughed at the parents who showed noticeable fatigue as their children pranced around them with energy that did not seem to be diminishing anytime soon.
Jazlyn and Mo slammed their hands down on the table after a few chords of a calypso steel pan sounded above us. They pulled their chairs closer to sing together about wasting away again in Margaritaville.
“Salt. Salt. Salt,” they sang loudly with their beers held high in the air. They were Jimmy Buffet’s back-up singers as he crooned for his lost shaker of salt.
“Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame,” they sang together. Except this time Jazlyn looked at Violet and Mo looked at me. She raised her eyebrows as her lips curled into what I would call an impish smile.
Yes, it was a very good day.
“What are you talking about?” I heard Mo say as I was about to turn the corner into the kitchen.
“Don’t play dumb with me,” Jazlyn said in a playful tone. “I’ve learned to read that look in your eyes.”
“Okay, okay. But you have to know she’s pretty damn hot.”
I stopped abruptly and took a small step backward as to not be seen in the doorway.
“Yes, she’s a very pretty woman.”
“Hot. I believe the word you’re looking for is hot.”
“Come on, Mo,” Jazlyn whispered. “She’s my friend.”
“You know what makes her even hotter? She has no idea she is. She doesn’t seem to sense it at all.”
“Which is exactly why you don’t need to mess with her. She’s not in a place to be able to handle—” She paused and seemed to stutter to find her words. “Well…you.”
“Me? And what exactly do you mean by that?”
“A good time. Honey, you know I love you like the sister I never had, which is why I can talk to you openly. Rayne’s in a really bad spot right now.”
Rayne? Wait. They’re talking about me. Did she call me hot? I felt my heart rate speed up as the heat of a blush sprang to my cheeks.
“I’ll let her share the details if she ever wishes. To sum it up, think of me when I met you. Would you have been good for me at that time in my life?”
“I was good for you.”
“Not like that. You didn’t find me hot or want to bed me down.”
“Who says?” Mo said as she began to laugh.
Jazlyn laughed too. “You’re incorrigible. What in the world am I going to do with you?”
“Love me and be my best friend for all of my days?”
“I suppose I could do that.”
There was silence for a moment before Mo spoke again. “I get your point though, okay? I understand what you’re saying.”
“Thank you.”
I listened to them move around the kitchen and waited a few minutes before walking in. I didn’t want them to think I had heard their conversation.
“And what if I think I like her?” Mo said.
The coffee grinder stopped. “Then I say let’s talk again when you feel something beyond thinking you like her.”
No longer thirsty for a glass of water, I turned and quietly walked out of the condo.
The full moon was bright in the sky. Not a single cloud shadowed its brilliance. I followed its path out onto the beach. The sand cooled by the night air made a distinctive sound as I walked across it to the surf. A stretch of the imagination and I was back home on the bayou with the moon’s light sparkling atop the water and the gravel crunching under the weight of my footsteps. Yet it wasn’t the bayou. The darkness wasn’t able to steal the salted air I breathed in. Nor could it keep me from feeling the sea air on my skin or the thickening of my curls with the wetness in my hair. The growing waves wet my legs and shorts as they crashed farther up the shore to where I sat. A stray beam caught the stone upon my finger. I stretched my hand out in front of me and watched the beam dance upon the cuts of the diamond. Fingers flexed into a fist didn’t seem to dampen the reflection. I turned the ring around my finger to crush the stone in my grip. I tightened my fist until I could feel the pain of it digging into my skin.
This damn ring. I cursed it for everything it meant and stood for.
“You stare at that a lot, you know?”
I jumped.
Mo walked around from behind me, sat next to me, and stared out across the water.
“Actually, I hadn’t noticed.”
“Well, you do. I’m assuming it’s from a man.”
“Correct.”
“And I take it this man’s not here.”
“Nope.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw her shift her weight to face me.
“Why wear it then? He’s not here. You’re with your friends. Why not leave it off if it bothers you so much?”
“That’s a good question.”
“And your answer is.”
I picked up a handful of sand and let it slowly drain from my palm. “I suppose to remind me. Remind me of the past.”
She scooted across the sand to sit closer to me. I wondered if I wasn’t talking loud enough for my voice to carry over the sound of the waves.
“Remind me of what’s ahead,” I said louder this time.
“I don’t know much about what’s in your past but what lies ahead is still open for change, isn’t it? I mean, it hasn’t happened yet, so how can you say it’s a done deal?”
“Sometimes the decisions we make are what makes it a done deal. The consequences of those decisions prevent change.”
Mo placed her hand on my arm. “Do you really believe that?”
“Yes.”
“Well, no wonder.” She leaned back on her hands stretched out behind her.
“No wonder what?”
“No wonder your eyes look so defeated. You’ve given up.”
I watched the moonlight reflect her face to me. She had this look of sureness to her as if the world was laid out in front of her to read. Different but the same. The waves became louder as they grew and rolled into us. The force of their current lifted our bodies and pulled us closer to the water.
Mo laughed as she gave into the water’s pull. “We’re already soaked.” She stood up, pulled her long hair back into a ponytail, and extended a hand to me. “What’s say we go in?”
I felt like the young girl who waited on us at the taco stand. I couldn’t resist her magnetism. I held her hand as she walked me out into the waist-high water. I let my fingers tighten over the warmth of her hand within mine.
“Why do you say I’ve given up?” I stood close to her as the waves rocked us unsteadily off of our feet.
“Haven’t you?” Her tone was matter-of-fact as if I was now part of the world laid out in front of her to read.
“You don’t know what happened. I didn’t have a choice.”
Mo stepped closer to me and placed her hands on my sides to keep our balance together. “It’s about perspectives, Rayne. Look around you in this darkness. Earlier today, we could see all the way down to our feet but now look.” I followed her eyes down as our waists disappeared into the depth of the water. “Same water, same feet. Different perspective. Maybe you should start with changing your perspective.”
“I don’t understand.”
She removed a hand from my waist and glided it down my left arm until she found my hand. “Don’t you?” She pulled our hands out of the water. “Is this who you are?” She tapped the diamond on my finger. “Or is this just a part of your path and your decisions on this one path? Nothing about this ring changes who you are or who you can be. It’s merely a stepping stone of your life. What you do with it is up to you.”
I watched my hand disappear under the surface of the water as I lowered it from Mo’s grasp. The stone’s sparkle was lost in the cloak of darkness. Perspective.
“Hey, you.” Mo’s throaty voice strangely lifted my spirits the moment I heard it.
“Hey, yourself. How’s Key West?”
“Girl, it was some kind of wild.” Her voice carried the smile I knew she must have been wearing. “But I’m headed back to the real world soon.”
“And what exactly do you call the real world?”
“Ha! In this case, I would call it Atlanta, Georgia.”
“I s’pose that’s real enough.”
“So, I’ve got a gig up there weekend after next. Jaz is coming. I was hoping you would tag along with her. Y’know, see me in action.”
I pushed the doors open to the emergency room and held my finger up when I saw Angie waving from behind the nurse’s desk. She gave me the okay sign before returning to her charting.
“Would your silence be a no?”
“What? Oh no, sorry. I was looking to see if I was on call that weekend.” I felt the lie stain my lips the moment I let it pass. I already knew I wasn’t on call as I had checked the schedule last week when Jazlyn asked me to go with her.
Mo and I had spoken several times on the phone after meeting in Seaside. I enjoyed the conversations very much and found her to be a charming distraction from my thoughts of Sam. She had never ventured into what I would call serious flirtation or beyond a friendly conversation; so, the company was both enjoyable and comfortable. But this was entirely different. This was seeing her again. Seeing her in her own element meant at a lesbian club, not a private beach gathering.
She read me when we sat on our sandy seats the night on the beach. Wasn’t I nervous to see what else she may decipher in me should I see her again? I knew after that night, I still held a glimmer of hope Sam would return. Somehow, I dreamed she would walk up to me and tell me we would figure things out together. Mo never asked about Grant or my family. I’m not even sure she knew his name. She let me carry our talks where I wanted them to go. Not once did they include him.
“How about this? How about you look at your schedule then get back to me? I’ve got to run to do a sound check before the show. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay, have a good show. We’ll talk soon.” I ended the call and tapped the receiver against my chin.
Angie met me at the corner of the desk. “Hiya, Doc. Whoa, what’s got you all flushed?”
I touched my hands to my cheeks. The blush was warm against my palms.
“Got one for you in exam room three.” She handed me a chart.
“I appreciate it, Angie, but I’m not on call for the ER today.”
“This one here’s a special request.” She used her pen to point out the name on the chart.
“Tyler Richard? What happened to her?”
“She fell down and went kaboom.” Angie smirked. “Got her a nasty cut on her pretty little chinny chin chin.”
“Did anyone call Dr. Richard?”
“You mean Dr. Dick? Yeah, we called him. Little bastard had the nurse tell me he was in a case and to call you. Besides, Doc, you sew much prettier than he does.”
“That may be, but he’s her husband.”
“Tell him that. Gotta’ run, Doc. Got you all pulled in there. Laid out a bunch of different sutures for you. Make her pretty again.” Angie headed down the hallway toward the trauma rooms. She turned and walked backward. “Oh, and Dr. Breaker should be in here in a bit so you’d better hurry if you want to beat her in there.”
“Dr. Breaker? Why is she coming?”
“Cuz she’s knocked up. She passed out so OB has to check out the baby.”
I pulled back the curtain leading into the examination room. “Hey, Tyler, what happened?”
The vibrant woman I had shared dinner with on a few occasions sat on the side of a gurney like a scorned child. She lifted her head barely enough for me to see her eyes. She kept her hands clasped in her lap.
“Hi, Rayne.” Her voice was subdued. “I’m sorry they called you.”
“I’m not.” I sat on the edge of the bed to lift her chin so I could study the cleaned cut there. Angie had done a fine job. Careful not to touch the wound, I gently moved her face to the side to get a full visualization of it.
Her eyes caught mine to hold them within her stare. “Do you treat all of your patients like this?” She looked back and forth between the side of the bed where I sat and the small stool left rolled up next to the bed.
“Oh.” I started to stand but she caught my wrist with her hand.
“No, please. It’s nice.”
I felt a wave cross over me from the combination of sincere warmth and sadness in her eyes. She moved her hand from my wrist to my hand and held it gently before pulling it up to rest against her forehead.
“Oh, Rayne.” She sighed deeply. “What am I going to do?”
“About?” I felt as if I could do no more than whisper as I watched her wrestle with her feelings. Her breath against my arm left tingles upon my skin. What the hell?
“Did you hear I’m pregnant?”
“Yes.” From her expression, I didn’t feel congratulations were in order or even warranted.
“Don’t get me wrong. I love this baby, but now I’m tied to him forever. And look at him. Where is he?” Tears slowly fell from her eyes. “He couldn’t care less I’m here. Look, he even sent you to take care of me.”
I wiped her cheeks with the thumb of my free hand but kept my other hand where she seemed to need it most. “I’m glad to be here.”
She forced a smile.
“What did he say about the pregnancy?”
Her smile turned into a sideways smirk. “That it’s my fault and I should’ve been more careful.”
Dick.
“He said he was going to be too busy to take care of a kid and I would have to figure out how to manage without him. I mean, the pregnancy will be fine while he and Grant are gone to New York, but if he gets accepted for that year program, I don’t know how I’ll manage a baby alone. I can barely afford to take care of us on my salary. I don’t know how I’ll pay for childcare.”
“Wait. What?” I was having trouble keeping up with her because she was speaking rather quickly but I knew for certain I hadn’t heard anything about a year program. “What year program?”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “You know, the chance to train under that hot shot vascular surgeon up there? He’s taking two residents from UAB.”
“No. I don’t know about that.” I pulled my hand from hers as I shook my head. “Grant told me about the rotation but I thought it was like for a couple of months or something. I didn’t realize it could turn into a year.”
