He gritted his teeth at the flare of anger inside him. “What do you care if I’m okay?”
“Tyler. God.” She took a step and dropped into the visitor chair, setting her purse on the floor. “Of course I care.”
“That’s not what you said last time I saw you.”
She closed her eyes, looking like she might puke.
He was kind of feeling the same. “There’s an emesis basin over there.” He rolled his head toward the small table next to the bed.
“A what?”
“Emesis basin. For puking.”
She grabbed it and jumped up to hold it out to him.
“Not me. You looked like you need it.”
Her forehead creased. “I’m not going to throw up.”
“Oh.”
She went to set the tray back down.
“Wait. I might need it after all.” He closed his eyes, willing the nausea to pass. He did not want to hurl in front of the prom queen. “Okay. I think I’m okay.”
“Oh God. Tyler.” She dropped the tray on the table, and sat again, leaning forward. “This is awful. What happened?”
“Eh. Don’t wanna tell it again.”
She blinked and nodded. “Okay. That’s okay, you don’t have to. Thank God you’re all right. Or you will be. Right?”
“Yep.” This was sucking the energy out of him, and he was so fucking confused. “So you can go now. I’m going to be all right.”
Her eyes widened and her face tightened. “I didn’t come here just to make sure you’re okay.” Now she looked like she was facing a gang of bangers with semiautomatic machine guns aimed at her head. “I mean, I did, because I was worried stupid about you, but also because…I have to tell you something.”
“Sure. Go for it.”
Her forehead creased. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. Like I said, good drugs. Hey, is that a racoon looking in the window?”
Her head jerked around, then back, eyes wide.
He gave a dry laugh. “Just messin’ with you. Although I was pretty sure you were here last night. And you were pole dancing…naked.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks flushed pink and she bit her lip. “Okay.” She inhaled a big breath. “I wanted to tell you…” Her posture stiffened, but her shoulders went back and she lifted her chin. “I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I was an idiot. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that I…I…I love you too.” Her voice trembled. “My mom helped me see how stupid I was and helped m-me…woman up and come see you and be honest with you.” She met his eyes and hers shone. “You were right, Tyler. I wasn’t being honest with myself.”
His insides clenched.
“When it came to loving someone…I was terrified. I still am.” She met his eyes. “I let Michael down. I didn’t know what he was going through. I should have known. I should have been able to help him. I felt it was my fault that he died.”
He couldn’t speak for a moment, his throat closed up. “You feel responsible for him dying?”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes, looking like someone was sawing off her arm. “I talked to my mom about it. I probably should have talked to someone about it a long time ago. Instead, I’ve been carrying this guilt around, thinking I can’t be in relationship because of that.”
“Christ.”
“I know.” She nodded. “I know I wasn’t responsible for how Michael lived his life and the choices he made. I felt like I should have known, should have done something. Mom made me realize that’s not what love is. You can’t ever keep someone you love from hurting or making bad choices or being unhappy. You can only support them. Encourage them. I realized that’s how I feel about you. I love you. And I’m sorry I hurt you.”
He gazed back at her, a weird out-of-body sensation possessing him. This was Arden…the woman he loved…telling him she loved him too. What he’d always wanted, his whole fucking life. And he was afraid to believe her.
It had taken something like this for her to tell him she loved him. But did she really? Or was she just reacting to the fact that he’d been injured? It still fucking hurt that she’d rejected him and then totally bailed on everything, running away because he’d screwed up and tried too hard to control her life. Over and over she’d told him she wanted to be independent and prove she could do things on her own, and over and over he kept butting in. And then she’d told him that he was the one stopping her from figuring out who she was and what she wanted to do with her life.
Those words had felt like fire burning through every layer of his skin.
He’d been doing a lot of thinking about that. About how many times people had told him they could handle things themselves. He’d been thinking a lot about Tara, and how he’d let her and his whole family down by not being there to save her the day she’d been abducted.
And how maybe he’d been trying a little too hard ever since then to make up for that.
Exhaustion and pain and drugs made it too hard to think about things. Made it too hard to even talk right now. “’Kay, thanks,” he mumbled.
After a long pause, she said, “Thanks?”
“For apologizing. ’Preciate it.” He closed his eyes. “Really tired, now.”
Still silence. All he could hear was distant beeping noises and chatter from outside his room. Then he heard a faint sniffle.
He cracked one eye open. Arden sat there, her face tight but stoic. Her eyes were still glossy, her lips pressed together. She gave a short nod. “I understand.” She picked up her purse from the floor. “Take care, Tyler. I want…” She closed her eyes briefly. “I want the best for you. In everything. Um…you know Sorcha’s in love with you, right?”
What the fuck? Sorcha? Was Arden on drugs?
“So maybe you should go out with her.” She gave a fast swipe at one eye. “Just saying. I want you to be happy. And healthy. And…I want everything for you.”
He stared at her, mind muddled, body hurting. She wanted him to go out with another woman? When she’d just told him she loved him?
“Bye, Tyler.”
And then she disappeared out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Tyler wasn’t milking it. Not really. It was nice having his mom wait on him hand and foot, though, and she actually seemed to enjoy it.
“Can I get you something else to drink?” she asked. “Another pillow?”
“Nah, I’m good.” He held the remote control for the TV, pausing between binge-watching episodes of Game of Thrones. It wasn’t really distracting him from thinking about Arden, though. He’d been a mess since she’d visited him in the hospital. Apologizing. Telling him she loved him. He was afraid to believe her, because…because he’d been hallucinating, and if that hadn’t been real…and because he’d been wanting that his whole life and he’d pushed her away by trying too hard to look after her.
The doorbell rang and Mom went to answer it.
Jamie strolled in seconds later. “Hey, how’s the patient?”
Tyler stopped the show. “I’m okay. How’re you?”
“Not bad. Mila told me I’m supposed to bring something when I visit, so I got you this.”
Tyler pushed up to sitting from his reclined position and took the gift Jamie proffered. “What is it?”
“It’s a plug-n-play retro TV games arcade kit. It comes with two hundred games.”
Tyler grinned, checking out the tiny handheld controller. “Retro is right.”
“You just plug it into your TV.”
“Cool. Thanks.” It was crazy, and Tyler would bet it set Jamie back a few hundred bucks, but that was him.
“Can I get you a drink, Jamie?” Mom asked. “Beer? Scotch? Coke?”
“A Coke would be great, Mrs. Ramirez. Thanks.” He threw himself down into an armchair.
Mom brought him a drink and then disappeared.
“So, how are you healing?” Jamie asked.
“Good, I guess.” He held up his arm. “Go
t my cast on this morning.”
“Uh…that’s good?”
Tyler shrugged. “They just splint it until the swelling goes down. Then they put a cast on it.”
“How long for the cast?”
“Six to eight weeks.”
“Jesus. Are you gonna be off work that long?”
“I guess so.” He sighed. “But the concussion symptoms are a lot better. Burns are healing fine.”
“That’s good.”
“Yep.” He paused and eyed Jamie, who tapped his fingers on the armrest of the chair. He waited, one eyebrow raised. “What is it?”
“Arden.”
His heart bumped. “What about her?”
“She’s not good.”
Tyler swallowed, his heart rate quickening. “What’s wrong?”
“You.”
Tyler frowned.
“She came to see you in the hospital.”
“Yeah.”
“To tell you that she loves you.”
“Yeah. Funny how it took me getting hurt for her to realize that.” A burning sensation hit his gut.
“She came back before she knew you were injured, asshole!”
His tense jaw loosened. “What?”
“Yeah. I was the one who told her. She was standing in my apartment, all excited to be back and try to apologize to you and fix things, because she knew she’d messed things up, and I had to tell her you were in the hospital. She thought you were dying. I think she had a…a flashback or something.” His face tightened. “She passed out on me and scared the shit out of me when she heard.”
Tyler’s gut clenched, remembering Arden’s face when he’d opened his eyes and looked at her in the hospital room. She’d been scared, but she’d tried to be so brave. “She was already here?”
“Yeah. I guess after a talk with Mom, she realized she had to come see you. She got back the morning after your accident. She didn’t even know about it.”
“Shit.” He closed his eyes on a wave of hot shame. “Shit.”
“Yeah. And you rejected her.”
“It’s for the best. She…” He swallowed. “She told me I interfered in her life too much and I was stopping her from being able to start over. She kept saying she wanted to prove she could do things on her own. I screwed up.”
Jamie fell back into the chair, eyes closed. “Jesus Christ.”
“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. She’s your sister.”
Jamie rolled his head side to side. “You do tend to be a bit overprotective of people.”
“I know. I’ve been thinking about that, believe me. I lost…” His throat clogged up and he coughed. “I lost the best thing that ever happened to me because I just couldn’t stop butting in all the time to try to help her.”
“Shit.” Jamie sat forward now, bowing his head.
“I knew she was trying to prove herself. But the thing is, she doesn’t have to prove a goddamn thing. She’s strong and determined. Even though she’s been through hell, she still believes everything is going to be okay. Everyone else can see that too. In the end, she’s the only person she has to prove anything to. And she needs to do that on her own. So she was right to end things between us.”
Jamie heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“She wants me to go out with someone else.”
Jamie’s eyes opened and his head jerked up. “I don’t believe that.”
“She said that. She told me to go out with Sorcha.”
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“After you told her to get lost.”
“I didn’t tell her that!”
“Whatever. Am I right?”
Tyler let out a breath and closed his eyes. “It’s kind of fuzzy. I was on a lot of drugs.”
“I’m right,” Jamie muttered.
“She says Sorcha’s in love with me.”
“Everyone can see that, dickhead.”
“She said she wants me to be happy.”
Jamie was silent for so long, Tyler opened his eyes to peer at him.
“Wow,” Jamie said. “You sure that concussion didn’t cause brain damage?”
Tyler scowled.
“I never thought you were slow,” Jamie said. “You told her to fuck off, and what she said was she wants you to be happy. Even if it’s with another woman. Don’t you get it?”
A tightness spread through Tyler’s chest, and he rubbed his hand over it. “Uh…you’re saying she really loves me?”
“Yes, she loves you!” Jamie pulled in a breath and lowered his voice. “She was worried about you, terrified you were going to die. She screwed up and she came to tell you that. And you fucking let her down. And here I thought you imagined yourself to be some kind of hero.”
Heat swept up into Tyler’s face in a hot flush.
Jamie set down his empty glass on the coffee table. “Well. I better go.” He stood.
Fuck. Jamie was pissed at him.
Not as pissed as he was at himself. Jesus, he’d had another chance with Arden, and he’d fucked that up too. A sharp stabbing in his heart made him wince.
But…if she really loved him…maybe he could still fix things. Not by taking over her life. He wanted to spend the rest of his life showing her that he believed in her and believed she could do anything she set her mind to. He wanted to be her partner. Her lover. Her support when she needed it.
Could he have the chance to do that?
His muscles twitched with the need for action. His heart beat a rapid, uneven rhythm. He rubbed his mouth.
“Take care, buddy.” Jamie started toward the door. “Let us know when you’re coming home.”
Tyler shook his head and focused on Jamie again. “Is she still here?”
Halfway across the room, Jamie turned. “Arden? Yeah.”
“Tomorrow.”
Jamie’s head cocked.
“I’m coming home tomorrow. But…wait.”
Jamie took two steps back toward him, one eyebrow cocked.
“Come back.” Tyler jerked his head and swallowed. “I might need some help.”
Liam’s jaw dropped when he looked up from the bar and saw her standing there.
“Hi.” Arden smiled tentatively at him.
“A chara. You’re back.”
She gave him a crooked smile. “I don’t suppose you need a waitress? I’m looking for a job.”
He smiled slowly. “As a matter of fact, we could use some help. Someone experienced. Someone beautiful who charms the customers. You’ll do.”
“Thank you.” Her throat clogged up, and she swallowed as she climbed onto a barstool, setting her purse on the bar. “I screwed up.”
“Yes. Yes, that you did. But screwups can be fixed.”
“Apparently not.” She sucked on her bottom lip. “That’s what Jamie told me. So I went to see Tyler.” Her throat squeezed shut again, and she couldn’t get the words out. She bent her head.
“We went to see him last night,” Liam said quietly. “He seemed a little narky.”
She nodded even though she didn’t know exactly what that meant.
“Probably bollucksed from the drugs,” he continued, as if he knew she couldn’t talk. “But it sounds like he’s going to recover.”
She nodded miserably.
“Did you tell him you screwed up?”
She nodded again. “He said thanks.”
“Thanks?”
“For apologizing.” She lifted her head, determined not to cry. “So I guess I can’t fix that screwup. But…” She smiled bravely. “I can get my old job back. I’m sorry, Liam. I shouldn’t have run away like that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. But I think Tyler loves you, so maybe there’s still hope.”
“It’s okay.” She rubbed her mouth. “It’s going to be awkward until I can find somewhere else to live, though.” She’d already gone online and perused apartments in the area. Ugh. Rent was going to take nearly her whole income, and that was just for a
crappy little studio apartment. But whatever. It had to be done. “I might need a raise.”
Liam choked. “A raise, you say?”
She grinned. “Come on, you know I deserve it.”
He shook his head, smiling. “You’re something else, Arden my love.”
“I’m going to put some effort into getting more catering jobs,” she said. “I hope the offer to use the kitchen here stands? If I can get a few more jobs, I should be able to afford to move out.”
Liam’s eyes crinkled at the corners, though he still looked worried. “Yes, the offer stands. Good for you, Arden.”
“Thanks. Well. When can I start?”
“Tomorrow.” He turned. “Sorcha!”
Sorcha appeared from the kitchen. Her eyes widened at seeing Arden. “What’s going on?”
“I just hired a new waitress.
Sorcha’s lips twitched. “Seriously?”
“This is Arden. She starts tomorrow.”
“You didn’t even interview her, did you?” Sorcha grinned, and Arden laughed, remembering the first time she’d walked in here. “Did she fill out an application form? Did you get references?” She met Arden’s eyes and opened her arms.
Arden slid off the stool and flew at her for a long hug. Coming from Sorcha, this meant a lot. “Missed you.”
“Missed you too. You okay?” Sorcha pulled back to look into her eyes.
“Not really. But I will be. Thanks.” She scrunched up her face, took a deep breath, then smiled. She stepped away and reached for her purse. “Thank you. Thank you both so much. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She walked the familiar route back to Jamie’s house. Such a lovely neighborhood. She remembered her first days there, walking these streets, Tyler worried about her walking home alone at night. She squeezed her eyes shut briefly. She’d been annoyed at him, but now she appreciated having someone who cared that much. And she’d messed it up.
At home, she climbed the beautiful staircase to the second floor and opened the door to her apartment.
She stopped. Stared. Her mouth fell open. Tyler was there.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Tyler stood next to the kitchen island, where a big bouquet of fall flowers glowed—sunflowers and gladioli and chrysanthemums. Also, gold and orange balloons floated above them. He looked so handsome…his arm in a cast, his face still a little pale and drawn, but God, he was beautiful and strong and brave.
Firecracker: A contemporary romance Page 28
