by J. D. Light
So Stinkin' Deer
By J.D. Light
Copyright © 2019 J.D. Light
Edited by Ann Attwood Editing and Proofreading Services
Prologue
I was so nervous that first day of Pre-K. I was starting almost seven months behind everyone else due to having been put on a wait list, and I was an only child who'd spent my days in the company of my grandparents, who babysat me while my mother and father worked. Since both of my parents had been older when they had me, and I'd basically been what my grandma considered a miracle baby, I didn't have siblings, and my parents weren't friends with people who had kids my age. The only kids I ever spent any length of time with had been teenagers at the youngest, and though some of them had been pretty nice to me, they weren't really into the same things I was.
It wasn't even a surprise that I'd ended up on the playground after our snack, playing by myself in the very corner of the fenced-in lot, building the big blocks up as high as I could. I didn't even really mind, since I wasn't sure how to communicate with any of the other children anyway, and at least I didn't have anything to be nervous about while I was alone.
I was, however, surprised when a little skunk-shifter boy with skin the same color as a chocolate bar plopped down next to me, tilting his head one way and then another as he watched me build, his big green eyes wide and absolutely fascinated.
He wasn't like anyone else there. He was smaller by far and though his skin was that pretty brown almost everywhere, there was a spot that went from one cheek up, over that eye and even a little ways back into his hairline that was as pale as my skin, the hair a white so light, it looked like the snow I'd gotten to play in a month earlier before I'd run through it. Even his eyelashes and eyebrow on that side were the lightest color I'd ever seen hair be. I'd never seen anything like it in my life, and I couldn't seem to stop looking at him. I was completely awed by the beauty of the boy, and my stomach felt funny, but not sick like when I'd had that stomach flu back in the fall and threw up for an entire day.
"Wow," I said, unable to keep from smiling as I moved a bit closer. "You're pretty."
Not just pretty. He was the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. Even though I hadn't hung out with kids my age, I'd seen them, and I'd never seen any of them that looked like this one.
He smiled, his pretty green eyes looking happy, and a deep dimple popping up on the same side as his light patch.
"You can't call him pretty," a voice said from my right, and the pretty boy and I both turned to find a rabbit-shifter boy rocking hard against the fence, throwing his back into the chain link and bouncing back like a strange trampoline for his back. "He's a boy. Boys don't like to be called pretty."
I could imagine that he probably didn't. He was covered in grass stains with leaves and sticks poking out of his light grey-brown hair, his brown eyes narrowed slightly, while he looked at me like I didn't know a thing about life, and I blinked, worry suddenly making my stomach feel funny in a completely different way as I turned to look at the pretty boy I'd possibly just insulted.
Thankfully, he didn't seem to be bothered as he glanced over at the grass-stained kid, before blinking back over at me. "He can call me pretty… if he wants to! I don't mind."
I smiled back, while the other kid shrugged and continued his bouncing against the fence, clearly unconcerned.
"I'm Barnabi," I said, smiling at my two new friends.
"A deer shifter, right?" The bouncing bunny asked, pursing his lips. When I nodded, so did he. "I'm Thunder, and that's Fowler."
Fowler smiled at me when I looked at him again, his eyes big and bright, and my stomach did that funny flipping thing again.
∞∞∞
Eight years later.
Fowler and I cringed as Thunder crumpled against the ground in a way that looked incredibly painful, while the little girl he'd been trying to impress gasped and went running over to him, cooing at the twelve-year-old idiot.
"Why does he do stuff like that?" Fowler asked, his beautiful face crinkled up in the same look of disbelief as mine, and I shook my head.
"My mom said male bunny shifters are just like that. Always trying to show off for girls and nearly getting themselves killed."
Personally, I didn't understand it at all. I liked girls just fine. There were even some that I would call friends, even though I really only ever hung out with Fowler and Thunder, but I'd never once thought I should ride a bike off of a picnic table to show off for one. Of course, Thunder had actually jumped off of my roof onto the trampoline not too long ago, because he knew Annie, my next-door neighbor had been watching, so this latest stunt wasn't even really a surprise.
There was a long pause where we watched the girl fawn over Thunder, and I felt Fowler start to tense up where he was leaning into my side as we sat against the tree on the edge of the park.
I didn't like when my Fowler got worried. He was such a happy, sweet boy, and he should never have to worry about anything in his life, ever. I put my arm around his shoulders like I always did, pulling him further into my side, so he'd know I was there for him, ready to help with whatever he needed.
"Hey, B," Fowler whispered quietly, as he watched Thunder pretend he was more hurt than he actually was, so the little girl would keep paying attention to him. "I don't think I like girls like Thunder does." He looked over at me, a frown on his beautiful face. "Do you think something's wrong with me?"
"No way!" I said quickly. "You're perfect, Fowl." And I meant it. I'd never met anyone as amazing as him, beautiful both inside and out, and the one person I considered mine even if I didn't understand why. "I don't like girls like that either."
Chapter One
Barnabi shook his head when the cute, slightly muscular blond offered to buy him another beer, giving the man a sweet smile before reaching over and pulling me into his lap. "Thank you, but I have to get my beautiful man here home safe, so I'm cutting myself off at the one tonight."
I giggled, tucking my face in his neck in order to hide it. I loved when B called me his man… and beautiful. I knew he only did it to turn the man down lightly without hurting his feelings, but everything inside me swelled with pride and the rightness of his words, because regardless of the fact that I wasn't actually his man, I felt like I was. I'd felt claimed by Barnabi from that first day nearly twenty years ago.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you were together," the guy said sweetly, and I lifted my head to give him a soft smile.
"I can't blame you. He's still the only person I see when I walk into a room sometimes too."
The cute little dude looked at us both with those sighing eyes you reserved for cute couples, old people and babies, and gave us a small wave before wandering off.
I turned back to look at Barnabi, throwing one arm around his neck and reaching up to pinch his nose with the other. "This town isn't that big. If you keep telling people we're dating, everyone is going to think it's true."
He shrugged, rolling his eyes. "Who cares. They already do, and I'm planning on spending all my time with you anyway, so why not just let them think that… Oh!" He pulled back, looking into my face. "Unless you don't want people to think that. I'm so sorry, Fowl. I should have thought of that."
I smirked, rolling my eyes. "Of course not, B. I don't really get asked out, but I'm not all that into dating anyway, so maybe if everyone believes we're together, the few people who might be interested, will just pass right on by."
I really didn't want to date anyone, it wouldn't be fair to my potential date, since I honestly had no desire to hang out with anyone who wasn't Barnabi and occasionally Thunder and Bonny,
but I had to admit, sometimes it bothered me how nobody seemed to want to date me.
"I think you not getting asked out is already my fault," Barnabi said, cringing. "Thunder informed me the other day that you smell too much like me. He said your scent is almost completely masked by mine." He tightened his arms around me a couple of times in a pulsing hug. "Stuff like this might have something to do with it."
"Oh," I said, blinking in surprise for a moment before shrugging and giving him a smile. "Well, that makes sense, and I have to admit that it makes me feel a little better about my ability to attract people."
Barnabi frowned slightly, reaching up to cup my cheek, his thumb running over the bottom edge of my birthmark. "I didn't know you felt like that, Fowl. I thought you realized how gorgeous and amazing you are. Any guy in the whole world would be lucky and proud to have you."
Not any guy. Not the guy I wanted. Not the one I had a feeling was holding off on finding a guy of his own for the sole purpose of not leaving me alone, but I was too selfish to let go of, because I knew I'd never find someone who took care of me the way he did.
Someday, I was going to have to stop this bullshit. Someday, I was going to have to give Barnabi his space and let him go out and find that perfect man, but I wasn't ready to let go of what we had. He was too damn special to me, and I'd discovered lately that I was incredibly selfish and really just an awful person in general, which made it even more evident that I didn't deserve someone as amazing as him. I didn't deserve anyone. I deserved the loneliness that was waiting for me some day. I deserved it for letting Barnabi believe that I was a good enough person that some guy out there would actually be lucky to have me some day. If he only knew the truth. If he only knew that whatever guy I did eventually end up with, he'd be screwed from the beginning, because the absolute love of my life was my best friend, and there simply was no competing with him.
I gave him a tight smile, and he narrowed his eyes on it immediately. He was the one person who could read my expressions and moods better than anyone else in the world. I had no doubt he saw right through that smile, but thankfully, Bonny's gorgeous face popped up a few feet from ours, making me gasp in surprise, and then giggle when she wiggled her nose, looking back and forth between the two of us.
"Are ya'll fuckin' yet, or what?"
I choked on my own spit a moment, sputtering stupidly, while Barnabi threw his head back and laughed.
Damn! I loved to watch him laugh. It was so fucking addictive, and with his neck exposed like that, it was like he was inviting someone to nibble on that flesh. I was a little worried with how close I actually came to doing it after only having one beer and while in a room full of people. I'd never really considered myself a very sexual person… except for when it came to my person. With him, I tended to think about sex almost constantly.
Thankfully, I managed to keep control of my body. Well, I didn't lean in and kiss up and down his neck. However, if anyone was to lift my T-shirt right then, I was sporting a pretty prominent boner.
I looked over at Bonny, reaching out to poke her right on her little bunny nose. "Why does everyone ask us that?"
She smacked my hand away, raising that annoying eyebrow of hers. "Hmm, I wonder."
That condescending expression usually didn't bother me. Hell, when she used it on Thunder, I got a pretty good kick out of it. She was the one girl Barnabi and I both knew Thunder would change his ways for. She was the girl he'd had a crush on since the first time we'd all met her nearly a year ago at our first company dinner where we all worked. She was also the only girl who'd ever shot Thunder down.
She'd taken one look at him… as he literally salivated over her in her tight-ass business suit, and she'd told him to not even think about asking her out, because she didn't date morons. Now, Thunder had actually been surprisingly smart, and had made really good grades. Surprising, because it seemed like he spent more time chasing girls than doing actual work, but he was definitely up there in the top for brains, but she had been absolutely correct in calling him a moron, because when it came to girls, he was just plain stupid. They'd been fighting and arguing and fornicating with their eyeballs ever since.
Bonny stood there looking back and forth between us for a while, before finally shrugging and walking off, and I sighed in relief. Bonny really wasn't the only one who'd asked Barnabi and me whether or not we'd had sex, but it never ceased to make me nervous when someone asked. I was always a little worried Barnabi was going to get sick of it and tell everyone the reason that wasn't even a possibility, I knew I couldn’t take knowing the truth. I couldn't take knowing I probably wasn't his type.
Not that I knew his type, because I was a horrible person who clung to my best friend and was far too relieved about his lack of romantic… somebody. I'd never even so much as seen him look in the direction of a man or woman, alpha, beta, omega or otherwise.
We left not long after that. In fact, it was right after my third beer when a fox-shifter omega tried to hit on Barnabi with me sitting right in his lap. I was just drunk enough to lunge for the crafty little idiot, but he escaped and Barnabi had laughingly thrown me over his shoulder and marched me out of the bar, while I flipped the guy off and threatened him and his entire ancestry.
His great-great-grandma was probably feeling pretty insulted by now.
I wasn't necessarily proud of how I’d acted, but it had stung a little to know the guy had seen me there, being held by the gorgeous alpha and not even considered that he might be mine. I knew I wasn't what anyone would picture with Barnabi, but we definitely looked like more than friends sitting there like that, and I apparently smelled like I belonged to the man.
That kid had needed the near butt kicking he'd gotten if that was how he conducted himself. He was going to end up on someone's bad side one day, and he might not be lucky enough to have been hitting on a guy who was going to keep him from getting his little ass kicked.
And all that fucking drama for sex. Was it even worth it? I'd never had sex, so I didn't know. I'd ask Barnabi, but I was pretty sure he didn't know either… pretty sure.
I must have made a face from my position over in the passenger seat, because Barnabi leaned forward, turning the radio down and purposely putting his face in my line of sight. "What's the matter, Fowl?"
It was December, and because of my little outburst, Barnabi hadn't had time to warm the car up, so even as we neared our house, five minutes from the bar, his breath puffed out in front of him, making me feel even worse.
I hadn't meant to ruin his night. It was supposed to be our night out with friends before we settled in for our week off. We'd both taken a whole week off for Christmas. Not necessarily because we were actually going anywhere, or doing anything, but because we just wanted to spend some time sitting around eating soup, drinking hot cocoa, and watching Christmas movies together.
We did it every year… and every year we went out with our friends the Saturday before Christmas as our get together with them, and we all exchanged gifts. Oddly, this year, Barnabi and I had gotten each other, which had prompted a bunch of whining from our other friends, but we'd actually pooled together on this one and bought a mini-vacation for Valentine's Day.
He'd been the one to suggest it, and I'd been secretly thrilled that he was planning on spending his Valentine's Day with me instead of finding a date. I knew I should feel bad that I was monopolizing his time, but… I was a terrible person.
"Fowl?"
"Hmm?" I asked, blinking out of the haze I'd fallen in while watching the soft puffs of air leaving his lips as he breathed.
"How many people have you had sex with?" I asked, without hesitation. It wasn't necessarily something that we talked about on a normal basis, but I doubted he would be offended by the question.
He let out a surprised laugh as we pulled into his parking space in front of our shared house, putting the car in park and turning to look at me as Christmas carols played quietly in the background, his face amused, but also cu
rious. "Fowl, we've spent nearly every minute of every day together since our parents gave up telling us not to spend the night together even on school nights. Don't you know how many people I've had sex with?"
"We aren't together all the time. Sometimes I stay home when you go to the gym. You know, if I'm being lazy. I thought you might use that time to…" I waved my hand in the general direction of his lap, not looking at him as I reached up to grab the collar of my shirt, billowing it against my body to cool my suddenly overheated flesh.
It's twenty-three degrees outside. How am I so damn hot?
"Nope. I haven't had sex with anyone," he said perkily, not at all sounding ashamed to have made it to the age of twenty-five without having sex once. He was smiling fondly at me when I glanced his way, and I smiled too, ridiculously glad that he hadn't been intimate with someone in a way that he couldn't be with me. That he hadn't given to someone else what he'd never give to me… yet.
That thought sobered me. He might not have had sex yet, but it was only a matter of time. Someday he would meet someone he wanted to spend time with… probably more than he wanted to spend time with me.
"Wait," he said suddenly, his face looking odd. "Do you? Did you?"
It was my turn to let out a surprised laugh, but seriously? "Yeah right. Can you imagine me talking to anyone in the whole world besides you about sex, let alone have it? I mean, jeez. Boomer tried to get me to kiss him under the mistletoe at the company Christmas party Friday, and I nearly jumped over the railing on the stairs just to get away. I'm not a cat shifter. I'm pretty sure I would have broken my ankle."
"He did what?" He growled, making my eyes snap to his. "I'm going to kill that asshole."
I was completely shocked to see the rage blazing on Barnabi's face. I'd seen him angry before, but it had never been anything like this. Looking into his face right then, I had absolutely no doubt he meant every single word of his threat, and when he reached out like he was going to hit the start button on the car, I grabbed his hand, suddenly very worried for the goofy alpha otter shifter who'd been so drunk, I'd actually had to get Thunder to give him a piggy back ride down the steps.
