“You,” he points at me, “are a fuckin’ surprise.” I nod, knowing my appearance must have shocked the hell out of him. He huffs a short laugh and shakes his head.
“I’m sorry.” When I came to find him, I hadn’t considered the possible consequences. Losing my mom had probably warped my thinking. I’d given no thought to the implications for him. Suddenly I feel guilty. “It must have been one heck of a surprise, especially when you never wanted kids.”
“That’s where you’re fuckin’ wrong.” When I cock my eyebrow, he continues, “When I was twenty, I had mumps. Fuckin’ childhood illness took me late. Affected me badly.” As my eyes widen with horror with the idea of where this is going, he gives a slow nod. “Left me sterile.”
“Oh, Viper, I’m so sorry.”
A little shrug, one hand comes up to rub the back of his head. “Me, I’m used to it. But Sandy?” He laughs softly. “Sandy’s my ol’ lady. My wife. We’ve been together years. Met and married when I was eighteen. She’s a year older than me.” He pauses. “She always wanted kids. We’d planned a big family, fuck; I didn’t care. Would have agreed to anything to keep her happy. But before we could start on it, the chance got taken away. She’s a good woman, but she’s never gotten over it.”
Oh no. Now I’m filled with sympathy for her as well as him. Up to now I’ve never considered having children, but hearing his story, know I’d at least want to have the choice. “Did you think about adopting?”
His head flicks left then right. “We weren’t exactly the types who they’d give a fuckin’ kid too. I was in the MC by then.” He rolls his head on his shoulders. “Sandy always wanted a rug rat or two of her own. As did I. But we came to accept it just wasn’t gonna be. Sam, I just don’t know how she’s gonna take it, knowing you were out there all this time. My child, my blood. Fuck, I don’t want to hurt her.”
“You wanted me out of the way so she didn’t have to know.” It all becomes clear.
“Fuck, Sam. I’m so mixed up. I wanna get to know you. You can’t imagine how it feels seeing someone that came from me; you’re a fuckin’ miracle in that way. I accepted I would never father a child a long time ago. But I love Sandy; she’s my whole world. Always has been and always will be. I wanted to protect her. I don’t know what this will do to her, and I’m scared it will go the wrong way. I can’t have her hurt.”
“You love her so much, yet you fuck the whores.” I sneer, I can’t help myself. The vision of the first time I saw him is set firmly in my head.
“I don’t fuck ‘em,” he disputes.
“Viper, I saw you with my own eyes—”
“I don’t fuck them,” he repeats, emphatically. “They give me blow jobs, that’s all. Sandy knows all about that.”
She does? And she doesn’t mind?
He looks embarrassed as he explains, “She doesn’t like to, er…”
“I get the picture.” I wave dismissively to stop him saying any more about the subject. He is my father after all, and what he does or doesn’t get up to with his wife should remain their own business. It dawns on me how much she must love him, having stayed with him all these years even though he can’t give her the thing she wants most, and having to put up with his extracurricular activities.
With a deep sigh he informs me, “I can’t keep it quiet, not after this. I’m gonna tell her about you when I get home. See where we go from there. How she takes to it and all that.”
“We could stick to the original plan, I’ll go, and she’ll never need to know. Hell, Viper, we should get the DNA test done first.”
Another short, barked laugh. “I remember your mom, Sam. It was my first time; I remember it, every fuckin’ thing about it. She was a beauty; never thought I’d fool her and get into her pants. And we talked, about the Vincent and about her hopes and dreams. Stupid things. Like what we’d call our children. She had foolish fuckin’ ideas about fancy names, so I shut her up saying let’s make it simple. We’d call it Sam. Boy or girl.” He throws a twisted smile over at me. “Soon as you told me your name, I knew you were hers.”
A strange feeling of elation comes over me, any lingering doubts now gone. But that doesn’t address the immediate problem. “I don’t want to upset your life. I don’t want to hurt your wife. Don’t tell her, Viper. If you want to stay in touch, we can, but don’t say anything. There’s no point.” He’s accepted me, that has to be enough.
“Couple of things wrong with that, sweetheart.” His face looks sheepish. “’Fraid I lost it when I saw Drum and realised what he’d done. I lost it in front of all the brothers. While they might keep it quiet, the whores heard too. Sandy will hear all about it the moment she steps foot in the club whether you go or stay.” He takes a step toward me, and for a second time his hand comes up and carefully touches my face. “I’d like you to stay. ‘Cos the other thing is, I’d like to fuckin’ get to know you.”
He does?
“We still ought to get a DNA test done.” I try to be practical.
Another nod. “We do if it’s only to prove it to everyone else. But I already know. I don’t remember much about your mom, but she wasn’t one to sleep around. And if that’s the story she told you, and your name being what it is? I’d put money on it being true. But we’ll get the proof if that’s what you want.” He studies me for a moment, his hand reaching out and brushing a strand of hair off of my face. “Doubt you were too thrilled having a biker as an ol’ man.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I wave toward the Vincent. “It’s in my blood. I’d be freaking thrilled to be in your life.”
“Roadrunner reckons you’re an engine whisperer.” A hint of a smile appears on his face.
I burst out laughing, appreciating the term. “They speak to me,” I joke back, but I’m telling the truth. In some ways they do.
“You ever gonna let me have a ride on the Vincent?”
My dad? Riding the bike I restored? The bike that my mom had bought for me? That had so many memories for them both? For the first time since she died, I feel a lightness come over me. “Of course, you can. Whenever you like.”
It’s at that point I yawn. Loudly.
“Best you get some rest.” His brow furrows. “You should come up to the clubhouse, use one of the spare rooms. Everyone knows who you are now, no point making you stay down here.”
I can just imagine how that would go. “I don’t want an inquisition tonight, Viper. It’s been a lot for me to take in. If I go to the clubhouse, they’ll be staring, talking, asking questions. I can’t handle that now.” Especially as it seems everyone knows what Drummer and I have been up to. Just the thought makes my cheeks go red. I walk over to the Vincent. “And, I don’t like leaving her alone.”
“No one’s gonna touch her here.”
“No,” I say again. “Anyway, I’m leaving in the morning. Makes no sense to change things now.” I don’t want to face Drummer again.
“No girl, you aren’t going nowhere. I told you. I want to get to know you.”
“But Drum—”
“Drum nothing. The prez only wanted you gone because of what I said. The brothers here?” He waves his hand around the shop, “They want you to stay. Even heard Slick saying he’d like you to look at his bike. Drummer will agree.” His mouth narrows. “Specially after what went down tonight. I’ll make him.”
After tonight, I wish I had the confidence that he did. I’m not sure what I want to do either. Staying close to Drummer, watching him go off with the whores? That would hurt and that’s how it would be. He’s a one-time man, I know that. And being an inexperienced virgin, I hadn’t been what he expected. Go or stay, I’ve already blown my chances with him. I feel my cheeks burn as I remember the details again, how unwanted my reaction must have been. Christ, I’d made a fool of myself.
Luckily, Viper has no idea of the thoughts going through my mind. He raises his arms in the air and stretches, then lowers his head, his eyes fixing on me. “Come here, girl. Give your�
�” He falters and stumbling out the words offers them hesitantly. “Give your dad a hug?”
I take a step forward. He’s a little uncertain as he lifts his hands and places them on my arms, bringing me gently toward him. I lean into him, my fingers on the back of his cut, breathing in the combined scents of leather, motor oil, and a tang of masculine sweat.
It’s awkward and short lived, and quickly we move apart, but it’s the first hurdle crossed. He strokes his hand down my face and then walks across to the door. As he opens it and the night air wafts in, I call out, “Viper, I, er, I hope it goes okay with Sandy.”
He pauses before leaving, pulling his back up straight. “So do I, Sam. So do I.” Then he’s gone.
Chapter Fourteen
Drummer…
“Prez?”
The uncertain voice makes me lift my head from where it’s been resting on my arms on my desk. I look up to see Roadrunner standing in front of me. He’s got a cup of coffee in his hands, the welcome aroma helping bring me to my senses. “What time is it?”
“Ten.”
I groan. Christ, I didn’t plan on spending the night in my office. Rolling my head around, I try to get the stiffness out of my neck.
“The VP and Peg asked that you join them in church.”
Did they now? I glance down at myself, realising I’m still wearing the clothing from last night, dried blood still on my crotch. Fuck, I need to change before seeing anyone. “Tell them I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“Er, I think they meant…”
“Who the fuck is the prez? Get out of here.”
Roadrunner lives up to his name, escaping my office, fast. I down the scalding drink, then make my way out the back of the clubhouse, going to my house that’s up at the top of the compound. When we were restoring the old vacation resort, making the guest suites habitable for the brothers, I’d had this place built to my personal specifications. I take a quick shower and throw my stained jeans into the wash, hardly wanting to look at them. I hurt her. I hadn’t meant to. Fuck, I’d had no idea she’d been a virgin. Looking at myself in the mirror, I see a stranger looking back at me. What the fuck do I do, now?
Getting some Advil out of a drawer, I swallow them dry. I’m ready to face the music.
Twenty-nine minutes later, I walk into church. Wraith and Peg are sitting in their normal places and fall silent as I enter. Striding confidently, I go to my seat at the head of the table.
Wraith’s staring at me as though he’s never seen me before.
“You got something on your mind, VP?”
“Yeah. We,” he nods across to Peg, “want to know what the fuck that was all about last night. What’s going on with Viper?”
“Is Wench really Viper’s daughter?” Peg throws in.
Pushing back my still damp hair, I sigh. “Yeah, it looks that way.” I hate that name they’ve coined for her.
“Tell us you didn’t hurt her.”
“I didn’t hurt her, Wraith.”
I wait for their reaction. Out of all the brothers, these two men have been my closest friends for a very long time. It takes a few seconds, but then their faces relax, and I can see they believe me. I let out the breath I’d been holding.
“Look…” I decide to fill them in. “Sam only found out when her mom died that Viper was her father.” I continue to explain the whole sordid story, and why Sylvie May kept her secret until her death.
“Fuck me!” Peg’s looking at me with a look of disbelief. “He was only fourteen? Fuck!”
Wraith’s grinning. “Hell, it could happen to anyone I suppose. Shit! What a story.” He shakes his head as if remembering his own teenage misdemeanours and wondering whether an adult child might turn up for him one day. “And he wanted to keep it from Sandy?”
“Yeah.”
“So, some latent paternal instinct got him riled up last night when he’d thought you had hurt her?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Well, I guess it wasn’t my finest fuckin’ moment. I fuck whores; you know that.” I point at Peg. “Same as you and the rest of the brothers. I’m not like you, Wraith, I don’t, well I’ve never wanted to hug and canoodle after sex.”
“So, you just left her and walked away?” Peg asks. “Same as you always do? Prez, I love you, you know that, but you treated her like any of the sluts. And that she’s not.”
“Actually, she told me to go,” I correct him.
Wraith shakes his head. “That might have been her words, but she probably didn’t mean them.”
He’s got that spot-on. I decide to lay it on the line. “I wish I’d stayed.”
“So, what you gonna do to make this right?”
Now isn’t that a fucking million-dollar question?
Leaning back in my chair, I rest one foot up against the edge of the table. Whether or not Viper has had a change of heart, I don’t want her to leave. But women in the clubhouse are either old ladies or sweet butts. She’s certainly not the latter, and I’m not going to make her my bitch. But I can’t leave things how we left them last night. Somehow, if it’s possible, I’ve got to make it up to her. If Viper still wants her to go, I don’t want her leaving on such a sour note. If she stays, I don’t want her hating me. I can’t restore her virginity, but perhaps we can clear the air. A seed of an idea starts to grow in the back of my mind.
Got it! I slam my hands on the table. “I’m going for a ride!” Decision made, I stand and walk around the table to the door, leaving them staring at me with open mouths.
After exchanging glances, not party to what’s on my mind, Peg rasps out, “You going alone?” As sergeant-at-arms, he’s responsible for the safety of the club.
“No.” My back is still turned toward them so they can’t see my grin. “No, I’m not.”
Realising I could have left them in some confusion about what exactly I had in mind, I huff a laugh, leave the clubhouse, and walk on down to the shop.
It’s Saturday. Dollar and Tongue are fiddling with their bikes and give me wary nods as I walk inside just in time to see Joker hunkering down examining the Vincent.
“She’s beautiful.” He’s speaking to Sam. “Just like her owner.” That he’s even daring to talk to her annoys me, that he compliments her makes me see red.
I’m close enough to give him a slap round the back of his head. “Enough of that, fucker,” I snarl.
Throwing a knowing grin at me, he stands up, his hands held up in submission. “Didn’t know you were there, Prez.”
Sam’s shifting on her feet and biting her lip. After what transpired between us last night, I suspect she’d prefer to have any discussion without an audience. I’m a man with an aversion to talking things through… well… when it comes to emotions that is.
“She fixed?” I point at the Vincent.
I hate the defeat I see on her face before she bows her head, and then she looks up bravely, a challenge in her eyes. “Yes, just going to take it for a test ride and then I’ll be on my way.”
“Want some company?”
Her eyes narrow.
“On your test ride.”
“Oh.”
She’s going to refuse so I say the words that will make Peg proud. “We ride in pairs. Safer that way.”
Now her head cocks to the side. “Okay.” She draws out the word. “But it won’t make any difference, I’ll be heading out alone after.”
“No, you won’t. You’re going nowhere, Sam. You’ll be staying here.”
Her eyes widen. “Has Viper spoken to you?”
I roll my head back, knowing we’ve got busybodies hanging on to our every word, but right at the moment not giving one fucking damn. It wasn’t until now that I realised that I’ve made the decision. I’ll go against my brother if I have to. Something I’d never seen myself doing. “No. And I don’t care what he wants. I want you to stay.” I’m not sure whether I’ve gone out of my mind or come to my senses, but the idea of watching her ride away fills me with dismay.
>
“Thank fuck for that! Wench, my bike’s waiting—”
“Shut the fuck up, Slick!” Roaring, I swing around, wisely he takes a step out of reach. Blade starts clapping and there are hoots and hollers all around us.
“Don’t say anything. Don’t overthink it,” I warn her, my hands going up to my hair as I link my fingers at the back of my head. “I’ve no idea what the fuck I’m doing, but let’s just take a ride. Together. See where we go.”
That it’s a euphemism for a relationship, I’m certain she understands.
Then I have an idea. “Come with me? There’s something I want to show you.” I ignore the shouts of ‘I’m sure you do, Prez,' and focus my attention on her.
After glancing around, noticing all eyes on us, she gives a tentative nod. She follows me to the door and then out into the sun.
Once we’re away from prying eyes and out of earshot, I pause my steps. “I’m sorry I left you last night. I should have stayed.” Now I can see her in the light; I can see her eyes look red as though she’d been crying.
“Drum, it’s alright. I’m alright.”
I don’t think she is, not really. I’m feeling my way here, not having any experience in these matters, and wary of saying something that will make it worse. With no knowledge of what to do otherwise, I accept her words at face value. “Okay then. Here, come with me.”
She hesitates. “Drum, I—”
“I’m not asking for a repeat of last night.”
She shakes her head too quickly. “No, I didn’t expect that.”
Of course she fucking didn’t, she believes I used her like I’d use a club whore, and there’s no truth at all to that.
“Look,” I start, then stop. Whatever I say, I don’t think she would believe me. I don’t know what I’m thinking myself, so I change what I was going to say. “I do want you to come and see something.”
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