Coming to join me, Slick hands me a beer. While not my favourite drink, at least it’s refreshing. I take a long sip and then hold the cold bottle to my forehead. I cast a glance at the man at my side and nod my head, gesturing at the view. “It’s so beautiful here.”
He looks where I’m pointing. “Not many biker clubs have something like this.”
I think back to the shabby warehouse I’d visited and can’t argue his point.
Turning his head, his scrutiny now rests on me. “It’s been bothering me, Ella. Why did you ever think you could be a sweet butt? It was clear from the start that isn’t in your nature.”
I tilt my head to one side, not quite sure what he’s asking, and my insecurity rears its ugly head as I reach my interpretation. “You’re telling me your club wouldn’t have wanted me?” My eyelids come down as I lower my gaze, and I mumble, “You’re right, I wouldn’t have had what it takes.”
His head jerks back. “What the fuck you talking about?”
“The other sweet butts, they’ve got great figures and they’re so pretty.”
He huffs an incredulous laugh. “Pretty and shallow. Ella, on looks, you beat them hands down.”
My mouth gapes. “Slick, you don’t mean it. Just look at me, there’s no way I can compete.” Then I realise I’ve invited his scrutiny, and my cheeks burn as his eyes trace a path from my head to my feet, lingering just a little too long on my chest.
Grinning as I squirm, he informs me, “El, I had to beat my brothers off with a stick. I’ve told you, that’s why I claimed you. If you’d become a sweet butt, you’d have been one of the most popular. And that’s no fuckin’ lie.” As I try to digest what he’s telling me, he takes a swig of his beer. “So, tell me, El, what made you even suggest it?”
“I met Jill,” I start to tell him, shifting my butt to get more comfortable on the seat. “We’d gone to school together. Hadn’t seen each other for years. She told me about the life.” I pause and raise my shoulders. “It sounded fun.”
“Fun?” His eyes narrow. “Did she tell you exactly what being a club whore entails?”
I fidget awkwardly. “I’ve never had much luck with men, Slick. The ones I’ve been with, well, let’s just say they didn’t fulfill their promise. What Jill described sounded exciting.” And had backed up what I’d read in my books. Suddenly I sit forward. “She told me being a sweet butt gave her control. She implied they use the men to get what they want.” I stare up over at the distant mountains, noticing a flash of lightening, suggesting a storm’s approaching. “Sex,” I go on to admit. “Mind-blowing sex. And men who appreciate them.”
Another firm shake of his head and a chuckle. “Sweet butts ain’t got no control, sweetheart. They’re at our beck and call, any time of the day or night. When other chapters are here, they can expect to be passed around the members of the visiting clubs.”
I frown. “But the men are grateful for their services…”
“Only because we need a hole to use, darlin’. We might have preferences, but it doesn’t much matter which one. I tell you, a man wants to fuck? He’ll just use who’s available.”
My eyes drop again, he’s being a bit too frank. I summon up a more attractive reason. “She said it was possible to become a man’s favourite, that you could become an old lady.”
He spits his beer out of his mouth and wipes his wet mouth with the back of his hand, drawing my attention to his full and very attractive lips. “Almost never happens, darlin’. Sometimes a brother has a liking for a particular girl, but when they start to get ideas, he moves on to the next. Ain’t one of us gonna start making something permanent with a woman all our brothers have known. And yes, I’m fuckin’ talking about in the biblical sense.”
“Oh.” Put like that, I can understand and see just how much she misled me.
“And you’re right. Sweet butts like sex. Wouldn’t be here if they didn’t. They enjoy having sex, rough sex even, and like the variety. They’re wired that way. What man would want to take the risk of settling down with a woman who’s likely to get bored then stray and go looking for a different cock?”
He’s made a good point.
“Don’t get me wrong, sweet butts are important to the club. They’re like anything else that belongs to us, club property. We take good care of them and protect them. But that’s as far as it goes. There’s no emotion involved, Ella. And that’s where it doesn’t suit you. You need your heart involved too. Being a sweet butt? You’d get that broken in minutes.”
Yes, my heart. That organ that pumps blood around my body, but also rules my head. I raise the bottle to my mouth and then think on what he said. Sure, Slick’s stuck around, still calls me his old lady, but apparently that’s only to protect me from the other club members. He’s a good man, but he won’t want me now, knowing what the Rock Demons did. He doesn’t want a woman all their members have had. I lower my beer and start biting my lip as it dawns on me, he’s no threat. I’ve been used and abused, as he knows all too well. My eyes start to water as I wish I’d never admitted what happened. Despite what he’s said, and our one attempt at dating, there’s no way he’d want to make this permanent.
“What’s going around that pretty little head of yours, El?” Slick leans forward to reach into his pocket. He pulls out a packet of cigarettes and lights one.
After watching the glowing tip for a moment, my lips purse, and glancing into his penetrating eyes, I know I have to explain. “You won’t want me now. After the…”
“After you were fuckin’ raped? What the hell has that got to do with anything, woman?” He stands up, and the half-smoked cigarette is thrown over the balcony, then he then turns back, his eyes blazing. “It wasn’t like you chose it. Told you before, it fuckin’ killed me to even think of you having to let even one of those fuckers lay a hand on you. I should have stopped you going into that club that fuckin’ night.” He moves again, this time dropping to his knees in front of me and rests his palms on my knees. “Ella, I want you as much as I want my next fuckin’ breath. That hasn’t changed since the moment I met you.”
As I flinch away from his caress, he straightens and removes his hands. “It fuckin’ kills me that I can’t touch you in the way that I want to.”
In my mixed-up head, instead of reassuring me, the fact that he hasn’t lost any desire for me, scares me. “It’s the smell!” The words burst out of my mouth. His eyes widen as I continue, “Leather, gas, oil, beer, sex, smoke… You’re a biker, Slick. Everything about you reminds me of them. What if you want to do the things that they did?”
“I probably do,” he admits, making me cringe back in the chair. “The difference is I’d be so fuckin’ gentle. I’d do nothing you wouldn’t enjoy.”
“This isn’t going to work, Slick. I can’t take that risk.” I’m already trembling just at the idea.
I don’t understand why his lips are curling up. “Yes, it is. You’ve just got to learn to trust me. Take the time to see I’m nothing like them.”
And it’s that I’ve got the most problem with. How can I ever have faith in a biker again? There’s something inside them that I don’t want to see ever coming out.
What he says next astounds me. “Stay with me tonight, Ella. Sleep in my bed.”
I suck in air loudly. It’s too soon. “No, Slick. I need to be with Jayden.” I can’t.
“We’ll keep the doors open, we’ll hear if she stirs. El, I held you last night. Just let me hold you again. Hell, I’ll sleep fully clothed on top of the covers, I just want you in my arms.” He winks. “And I’ll shower first so I don’t smell.”
A nervous giggle escapes me.
He sucks in air. “That’s a fuckin’ lovely sound. You know what? Don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh before. I’d like to hear it more.”
My eyes widen. I hadn’t thought of it. I’d been dealing with one thing after another since I’d met him and definitely since he’d come back into my life. I look up at him, realising t
hat my continuous tension and my to-and-fro swings of emotion must be wearing for him too. I practice a small smile. As he responds, I feel relaxed enough to lean back in the chair and kick my shoes off. He sits down again. For a few moments, we just stare at the darkening skies.
“Why did you become a biker, Slick? What made you join the Satan’s Devils?” I give another small chuckle. “It’s hard to think of you starting off as a prospect, being shouted at and made to do the unsavoury jobs.”
“I was in the Army for a while. When I was discharged, I was attracted to the brotherhood and never felt as good as when I was riding my bike. The shit they gave me wasn’t much worse than what I got during boot camp.”
It must be more than an hour and a couple of beers while we just sit and talk. I’m interested in Slick’s history, but just as happy to simply hear his voice. At some point, we move inside when the mosquitos put in an appearance but with hardly any break in the conversation. There’s no pressure, no suggestions. Just taking the opportunity to get to know each other, a continuation of what we’d done on our date.
“What did you want to do with your life, Ella?” he asks as he gets up to snag a fresh beer from the mini-fridge. “Or what would you like to do?”
Pointing at my half-full bottle to reject the fresh one he’s offering, I answer honestly, “I wanted to go to college, but then I had to move out.”
“It’s never too late.”
Picking up my drink, which I’m starting to get a taste for, I dismiss it. “College costs money.”
He lets that ride and continues to ask, “What would you study?”
Resting the top of the bottle against my mouth, I think back over the dreams I’d had as a young girl. I open the box and take them back out, mentally blowing away the cobwebs and dust. “I always wanted to be a nurse.”
“Hmm.” His head tilted to one side, he seems to be interested, but changes the subject to something else once again.
Eventually it seems natural to agree to sleep in his bed. He’s made no gesture toward me or suggestion to make me think he’ll be other than a man of his word. I check quickly on Jayden, change into sweats and a t-shirt, and then return to his room and slip under his sheets while he takes his promised shower.
Held protectively in his arms, I fall asleep.
Chapter Twenty-One
Slick…
Last night had been the first time I’ve had a woman in my room and just talked using words rather than letting my dick take the starring role in the conversation. If anyone had asked me, I would never have expected to enjoy it as much as I had. Nothing was forced, everything easy. Questions asked and answered while we gradually came to get to know each other. For once in my life, I’m taking time to understand a woman before rushing her into my bed. While my cock isn’t so happy about the delayed gratification, she’s getting inside my head. And I’ll be fucked if I don’t like her being there.
The first time I’d seen her, my cock wanted inside her, but for the first time ever, a woman has come to mean more to me than just that. She’d inveigled herself into my heart, the emotion first creeping up while I’d been waiting for her outside that fucking club. It had overtaken me when I’d seen how brave she was, slamming into me when I’d seen how they’d hurt her, and I knew she had to be mine. When she’d left me, I tried to kill all feeling for her stone dead, rationalised it had been too quick and too soon, the emotion I’d felt fuelled only by lust. Now the affection is growing again, the sentiment running much deeper. I’m respecting the person I’m coming to know the more I hear about the challenges in her life.
And yesterday? I’d felt like I’d won the fucking lottery when Ella agreed to sleep beside me. Even when she’d gotten up to check on Jayden, she returned to my side, allowing me to wrap my arms around her again. I’d spent the night with my old lady, and while my cock protests he didn’t get any relief, when I’d woken this morning, I couldn’t have been more satisfied. Our sleeping arrangement the first major step to regaining her trust.
Now, entering the clubhouse, I feel on top of the world, unlike my brothers who seem to be nursing aching heads. A grin splits my face—a patching-in party will do that for you. I make as much noise as possible as I walk across the room and into the kitchen where I bark a loud laugh. The old ladies won’t be down until the prospects have cleaned up, and in the women’s absence they’ve put Jekyll and Hyde onto cooking some sort of breakfast. When the fire alarm goes off, I’m not in the least surprised. Fuck knows whether we’ll get something edible today.
I grimace when I try the coffee. Who the hell can fuck that up? I settle for cereal after eyeing charred remnants of something I can’t even identify, but which I think at one point might have been eggs.
A slap on my back almost has the bowl flying out of my hands. “Bullet, what the fuck?” Unlike the others, he looks bright and breezy. I remember he was on duty at the hospital last night. “Any news on Heart?”
He closes his eyes and takes in a breath. It’s not easy sitting by our brother, willing him to wake up. “He’s breathing on his own, but he’s not reacting to anything. They’ve stopped the medication inducing the coma, and it’s up to him now.”
“Did the doctors say what his chances are?”
“They don’t know fuck all. Oh, I pressed them on it, but all they’d say is he could wake today, next week, next fuckin’ year. And when, if, he comes round, he might be brain damaged.”
I think we were all expecting him to come out of the coma once they’d stopped the treatment. It’s fucking unwelcome news, and my previous good mood starts to disappear.
More bodies enter the clubhouse. Wraith, Drum, and Viper all look awake, and as I step into church I realise being a member of that happy band of men with old ladies comes with some benefits. It prevents hangovers, or at least of the worst kind. Doesn’t stop us drinking, but like them, I suspect in the future, I too will be spending less time in the clubhouse.
Even so, Drum looks weary as he takes his seat at the head of the table. He runs both hands down his face and over his beard. He lifts his head and looks around, nodding at Paladin, who’s looking excited despite being a bit green at the gills. Well, it had been his party. Now it’s his first time in church as a fully patched member.
Picking up the gavel, the prez brings us to order. “Another fuckin’ church. Anyone else getting sick of these?”
“Sure am.” Blade opens a pack of smokes. As he pulls one out and then puts the pack away, everyone looks at him with their jaws dropping open.
“What the fuck, Blade?”
“What?” The enforcer notices he’s become the centre of attention. “Just agreed with Prez is all. Got a light, Dart?” As Dart snarls and slides his Zippo over, Blade at last seems to realise what he’s done. With a sheepish grin, he gets out the pack and passes it around.
Soon I’m inhaling a deep drag, enjoying my first smoke of the day.
“Alright. Let’s get started. Mouse, you got something to say?”
“Sure have, Prez.” We wait while he opens the laptop. “Ok, I’m going to be covering a lot.”
“You’ve got the floor, Brother.”
Mouse dips his chin and looks down. “Tried to look more into Crystal’s mom. Susie Clyde is her name. Susannah. Nothing much more than I said before. I’m still trying to find out who her dealer is. I’d like to know more about the fucker who was with her yesterday, but I need a name.”
“Not the type of woman who’d win a custody battle,” Peg remarks.
“No, but would we?”
Viper sits forward. “That’s why me and Sandy couldn’t adopt. Social workers don’t take kindly to our fuckin’ lifestyle.”
“Worst case, if a judge gets to decide about Amy, she could end up in the fuckin’ system.”
Though I don’t like to admit it, I think the prez has a point. Fuck, that poor kid. Heart’s got to wake up. I’ve either spoken aloud or it’s what we’re all thinking as I hear all the brothers a
greeing with me.
Drum squints at Mouse. “You reckon we could buy her off?”
Our computer expert nods. “I’d say we could give it a fuckin’ try.”
“She doesn’t care for the kid. Can’t see why she wants her.” Joker’s shaking his head.
“That’s my worry, Brother. And, well, Sam, she’s taken to her. If Heart doesn’t recover, she and I have been talking about adopting her ourselves.” Prez pauses and points at Viper. “Your point’s well made, Viper. Can’t see how we could do it legal in front of a judge, but we’ll work something out. One thing’s for certain, that fuckin’ bitch is not allowed back on the compound. Keep digging Mouse. Try and find out why she’s so keen to get hold of her grandkid.”
“Heart might have something to tell us about her.”
Drum sighs. “Yeah, Rock, but at the moment he’s not saying a lot.”
Reaching for the ashtray I stub out my cigarette. “Didn’t much care for the support Archer offered her. If she’s got the cops on her side, it might be more of a fuckin’ problem.”
“Yeah, well we might have fuckin’ trouble with him extending well beyond Amy.” With that sentence, all eyes are drawn back to Mouse again. He taps at his keyboard. “I’ve been looking into him. Archer’s mother’s maiden name is Batchelor.”
There are various versions of uttered and gestured “So whats?”.
“Way back when, a Carmella Herrera married Ian Batchelor.” Mouse looks up and spells it out. “Archer is a second cousin of the Herrera family. Don’t know how close to them he is, but it’s one coincidence that I don’t like.”
Neither do the rest of us. But it doesn’t make sense. I raise my hand, Prez lifts his chin. “Archer requested the case, Hannah told us that. But we had no connection with the Herreras until Ella contacted us, and we didn’t know about their involvement until we got Diego to talk. Fuck, we didn’t even know his last name before he spilled it.”
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